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WORLD HISTORICAL FIGURES

OUR BARRY IS TIME’S PERSON OF THE YEAR

Lampin'Nice hat, dude! In Time’s profoundly insightful cover package, Barack Obama’s brother-in-law reports that the President-elect is “extremely left-handed.” This is obviously some sort of code. But for what???? Anyway FAIL, Time, for not going with a more counterintuitive pick like “The Ghost of Your Fraudulent Mortgage Broker,” or “Cheryl Tiegs.” With that in mind, let’s have a look at the losers who were not designated Hawaiian Shark-God Basketballing Prodigy of the Year.

2008 was clearly not a great year for humans.

Person of the Year 2008 [Time]


11:30 AM on Wed December 17 2008
By Sara K. Smith
7370 Views

  1. BarthexDeRosa says at 11:34 am, December 17th, 2008

    From Barbizon’s 1983 Model Of The Year to Time’s 2008 Person Of The Year… what a long, strange trip it’s been.

  2. V572625694 says at 11:34 am, December 17th, 2008

    You took away the “>” button. So now we have to go back to the home page to get to the enxt article. Oh, Wonkette — is there no indignity to which you will not stoop in order to get more click-throughs? I wonder what Campbell Brown, who at age 21 was teaching English in Václav Havel’s Prague, would think about this?

  3. I wish Time’s write up on Palin had been as succinct as Sara’s is.

  4. ManchuCandidate says at 11:35 am, December 17th, 2008

    As a former person of the year (2006) I am outraged by the obviousness of the pick.

  5. gurukalehuru says at 11:36 am, December 17th, 2008

    The problem is, he’s going to be person of the year for the next 8 years. I’m not complaining too much, but it could get a bit repetitive.

  6. Heh, heh! Sara said “package”.

  7. Serolf Divad says at 11:41 am, December 17th, 2008

    Damn… I was rooting for Bill Kristol.

  8. More importantly, Ken Salazar is wearing a suh-WEET cowboy hat during his speech about being the next Interior Sec’y.

    Oh, and a bolo tie.

    That’s change I can believe in. Waaa-hooo!!

  9. Iggy Plop says at 11:42 am, December 17th, 2008

    Oh, right, I was going to add “House of the Flying Daggers” to my Netflix. Thanks, Wonkette!

  10. Texan Bulldoggette says at 11:42 am, December 17th, 2008

    Really? Those are the next tier of persons of the year folks? Palin & Paulson who are complete losers & 2 foreigners?? America really is starting to suck.

  11. Noodle Salad says at 11:44 am, December 17th, 2008

    I thought Lizard People were a lock this year.

  12. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 11:47 am, December 17th, 2008

    Anurag Dikshit for POTY 2009. VOTE NOW, people!

  13. SayItWithWookies says at 11:48 am, December 17th, 2008

    Will Iraq was architect and drive-off bandit Paul Wolfowitz never get the credit he deserves?

  14. MathewBrooks says at 11:48 am, December 17th, 2008

    doesnt “sinister” mean left-handed?

  15. shanemcgowan says at 11:49 am, December 17th, 2008

    Lou Bega is Time’s Man of the Year?

  16. MathewBrooks says at 11:50 am, December 17th, 2008

    Cheryl Tiegs?? What about Susan Anton?

  17. Don’t get too excited they once gave this award to a PC.
    People’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’, now THAT looks good on a resumé.

  18. Kev-O-Tron says at 11:52 am, December 17th, 2008

    Hmmm…it’s been a while and I’m not very good with faces. Is that Tito or Jermaine in the picture?

  19. Nice moonwalkin’ hat.

  20. randomsausage says at 11:56 am, December 17th, 2008

    Ok, I see Kid Creole but where are the delightful Coconuts?

  21. For the umteenth year in a row, the person of the year is: Teevee. Teevee helps us to understand that all money of those NOT on teevee should be funneled to those ON teevee. It’s all America’s money, but it needs to be in the pockets of the people who actually represent American virtual teevee reality, not in the pockets of hobos with no talent.

  22. I heard that Sarkozy just phoned Palin to tell her that SHE’D wop.

  23. elcapitan says at 12:01 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Campbell Brown was the clear choice for person of the year. Time is simultaneously racist and sexist, ergo Republican.

  24. or “won”

  25. Cape Clod says at 12:03 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Terry: “And (Saran Palin) wasn’t just a running mate; she was a one-woman rescue team for the Republican ticket.”

    And what an effective rescue she pulled off. It was sort of like John McCain was a kitten caught in a tree and she showed up and set the tree on fire.

  26. I am shocked and appalled – APPALLED! – that Joe the Plumber was not chosen. This is perhaps the greatest miscarriage of justice since Tiffany lost on Star Search.

  27. Serolf Divad: Bravo! Every story should in some way involve Bill Kristol.

  28. Campbell-on-CNN says at 12:13 pm, December 17th, 2008

    V572625694: What I think? I want my ‘next’ button back, please. What’s up with that? At first I thought it was hiding in my hair, but no matter where I scroll, I can’t find it.

    So don’t blame me!

    (Prague was absolutely fabulous, what a great town. Oh my god, especially the beer…)

    Hugs n’ kisses

  29. dannygutters says at 12:14 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Don’t you think the claims of Barry’s overexposure are causal to the second tier being so weak?

  30. Cape Clod:

    Then tried to block the firetruck from arriving, saying the firefighters weren’t real Americans.

  31. obfuscator says at 12:20 pm, December 17th, 2008

    So Joe Biden = Sonny Crockett?

  32. Twenty-four smokin’ pictures of 1980 Barry. But was it a 36 exposure roll, and where are the missing 12 pics and what do they show??? Fox News interviews Matt Drudge in 5, 4, 3…

  33. He looks like he should be working Tara.

  34. He’s like one of the Jackson Five circa 1978

  35. That shoe-shyin’ Shia in the Green Zone, since relocated.

  36. randomsausage says at 12:28 pm, December 17th, 2008

    I for one approve of Barry’s Mr Beaujangles phase.

  37. Hooray For Anything says at 12:28 pm, December 17th, 2008

    What about the Iraqi show thrower? I don’t think you could come up with a more succinct commentary on these times than hurling things at the President while calling him “dog”

  38. Lorax: As a long-time Colorado resident, I’ve never seen the dude without the bolo. You want it off? Put out or get out. Put out and he might at least fuck you without; get out and you won’t have TV in the homeland of Mexico.

  39. Doglessliberal says at 12:29 pm, December 17th, 2008

    MathewBrooks: yes, as does gauche. Us lefties just get shat upon right and left.

  40. Dogs and cats could’ve told you that Barry was gonna be Time’s POTY. This had all the suspense of the answer to the question: is water wet?

    And what is giant Campbell Brownzilla doing to this site? When does she start to attack mass transit?

  41. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:36 pm, December 17th, 2008

    You can keep your Barry. I voted for the Lizard People and I’m damn proud of it.

  42. Internally valid says at 12:45 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Time magazine is in the tank!if we dont expose the MSM, this muslin terrist might win this elekshun.

  43. JohnnyMeatworth says at 12:50 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Kev-O-Tron: shit, I thought it was Rockwell

  44. yellowdogdem says at 12:54 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: But mostly right.

  45. Theodorick Of York says at 12:58 pm, December 17th, 2008

    shanemcgowan:

    A little bit of Campbell in my life
    A little bit of Campbell by my side
    A little bit of Campbell’s all I need
    A little bit of Campbell’s what I see
    A little bit of Campbell in the sun
    A little bit of Campbell all night long
    A little bit of Campbell here I am
    A little bit of you makes me your man
    Weeknights 8pm EST on CNN

  46. 4tehlulz says at 1:03 pm, December 17th, 2008

    >>This is obviously some sort of code. But for what????

    It’s dog-whistle for “Antichrist.”

    I wish I was kidding.

  47. ToeCramps says at 1:10 pm, December 17th, 2008

    I think dude who threw the shoe at shrub should have been on this list!

    Obviously Time is in the tank.

  48. Campbell-on-CNN: Can you please Palin-wink to me tonight 8pm CNN? hugs n kisses, Borat

  49. First, Barry tries to buy a senate seat for his replacement, now he’s clearly bribing Time to be selected as “Person of the Year.” His depravity knows no bounds!

  50. day three of my vigil waiting for a nude of Campbell to surface.

  51. One Yield Regular says at 1:46 pm, December 17th, 2008

    In a gesture of pride for journalists everywhere, CNN’s site had this as “BREAKING NEWS” last night.

  52. masterofzen says at 1:46 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Wonkette, you have BURIED THE LEDE in this Person of the Year report. Clearly the story here is that after he first played basketball with Barry, Craig Robinson reported back to his sister, Michelle, that “your boy is straight, and he can ball.”

  53. Pat Pending says at 1:48 pm, December 17th, 2008

    well, after reading about the ‘extreme left-handedness,’ also know as ‘the sinister hand,’ I was also relieved to find out “Your boy is straight, and he can ball.” My POTUS can ball!!!!

    Campbell Brown is giving me an inferiority complex.

  54. Fivetree says at 1:51 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Pat Pending: He’s a PILF!

  55. HipHopOpotamus says at 1:57 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: not to mention ambidextrous means “both right-handed”. WIN FOR THE RIGHTIES.

    Us pinko-commie lefties are un-american. IMPEACH COMRAD BARRY.

  56. snideinplainsight says at 2:05 pm, December 17th, 2008

    If the Lizard People want my vote, all they’d have to do is eat Bill Kristol.

  57. Serolf Divad says at 2:08 pm, December 17th, 2008

    bfstevie:

    Oh, but every story does involve Bill Kristol… even if you don’t realize it.

  58. From now on, every comment on this site that’s not about Campbell Brown has to begin with “OT”.

  59. wickedlittledoll says at 2:15 pm, December 17th, 2008
  60. iwillsavethispatient says at 2:26 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Shouldn’t the headline read “Palin loses to Obama again”?

  61. Schadenfried says at 2:36 pm, December 17th, 2008

    As a person who tried to concentrate on the issues during the election, I regret to say that I find the pictures of our first African-American president to be smoking hot.

  62. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 2:37 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Now we know what a grownup Michael Jackson would have looked like without plastic surgery.

  63. mattbolt says at 2:38 pm, December 17th, 2008

    http://www.time.com/time/specials/2008/personoftheyear/article/0,31682,1861543_1861856_1867016,00.html

    Hey, watch this video, with snivelling Rat Emperor Giuliani, where the Time staff reveals that RON PAUL ACTUALLY WON THE INTERNET VOTE FOR MAN OF THE YEAR, RELOVUTION!! but that it was the communist Time editor who refused the will of the people. Also Giuliani laughs at the very idea of Ron Paul.

  64. L Urchin says at 2:39 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Photographer Lady: Thank you for not releasing these before the election. Also, for not destroying the evidence. Barry seems all saintly, but we best keep on our toes.
    http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1866765_1815174,00.html

  65. What about Bristol? Having an illegitimate kid in the snow…

  66. Atheist Nun says at 2:59 pm, December 17th, 2008

    I can’t believe you guys didn’t choose the picture of Barry smoking that gigantor spliff! I and I need more O’Bomber spliffage, mon.

  67. Atheist Nun: I like how the photographer locked the negatives away so they might not be used for political motives. If I saw the spliff photo, I would have gone out of my way to vote twice

  68. Carrie_Okie says at 3:40 pm, December 17th, 2008

    …Dr. Rick Warren, an author and leader of the Saddleback Church, are among the select group of people who will participate in Barack Obama’s inaugural swearing-in ceremony on Jan. 20.

  69. Eclectablog says at 3:54 pm, December 17th, 2008

    My wife is the one who created the mosaic image in the “Obama on Flickr” section of the Time article. I’m so proud! *beams*

    Linky link: http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1866936,00.html

    Better mosaic page with Zoomifier widget-thingy: http://www.revolutionaryviews.com/obama_poster.html

  70. glamourdammerung says at 4:02 pm, December 17th, 2008

    snideinplainsight: Even Lizard People have some standards. I would be fine with them just hissing a lot and spitting poison on Kristol.

  71. Atheist Nun says at 4:32 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Borat: Word!

    As it was, Obama upping the ante on Bill Clinton by just admitting: “Yeah, that’s right, I fucking smoked it all, I inhaled everything, get fucked fuckers.” = MY VOTE

    lol

  72. answerbird says at 4:57 pm, December 17th, 2008

    Without a doubt it should be Steve Schmidt and Rick Davis. Thank you for running such a brilliant campaign and a special shout out to William Kristol for giving so much excellent advice! We couldn’t one without you guys.

  73. Numbat Dundee says at 5:38 pm, December 17th, 2008

    I’m astonished that Joe the Plumber didn’t at least rate mention. or do they have a seperate section for “fake plumber of the year”.

  74. sarcasticusername says at 5:39 pm, December 17th, 2008

    campbell brown got robbed. she owns the internets, that’s pretty impressive.
    though i did enjoy learning that the secret to barry’s parenting and managing style is obscene levels of guilt tripping; and when that fails there’s good old fear, i guess i could see how a secret terrorist muslin would rock the whole fear thing pretty hard. oh and the guy that interviewed him is a giant douche-nozzle for asking him about his dead granny at the end there, that came across as pretty uncool.

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