Wonkette
Ooh look pretty pictures! The famous journalistic news-reporting organization Vogue profiles your Katie Couric, your Rachel Maddow, and wait, who’s this? We seem to have seen this one somewhere, recently… If you click through to Comments and scroll down just enough, you can now see six (6) images of Campbell Brown on this web site: top, side, and middle of the screen, plus the “live” Ms. Brown and her two posters in the Vogue photo. (YOU’RE WELCOME.) Campbell Brown is the Saparmurat Niyazov of American cable news. [Vogue]
I’m still partial to anchorbabes.blogspot.com. All the benefits of Faux News without any of that annoying sound.
That’s it. I’m telling my boss I’m sick and taking the rest of the day off work.
Her hands are huge! What, no whore diamonds?
Yawn. Next flavor, please.
I gots a fever and the only prescription is more Campbell!!!
You should just get it over with and replace the cartoon Wonkette drawing at the top with Ms. Brown’s face.
Now I’m going to have to find naked pics of her. Or of a reasonable facsimile. Or just a brunette.
I wonder: is her name really Campbell? Or did she decide to take two first names so people would associate her with that other famous TV newsist, Murphy Brown, who does the exact same thing?
When are we going to get a lifesized Rachel Maddow? That’s change I can believe in.
Does the Wonkette whoring know no bounds? Please Wonkette… we love you… you don’t have to bend over for Campbell Brown and her strap-on to make a measly 5 golden Ameros anymore… We’ll take up a collection to send you to night school so you can become a nurse or a vibrator repair mechanic… you know, good wholesome jobs.
rmontcal: That cartoon Wonkette girl is pretty hot, too. I was surprised when I found out that it’s not actually a caricature of Ana Marie Cox. I miss Wonkette’s pet cat, though.
Campbell’s father was a democratic state senator. Why isn’t she the new senator from New York yet?
I’m sorry Campbell. I like you and all, and your face haunts my dreams but if I want to see pics of attractive female anchors then je t’aime les anchoreuse Francais. Oh la la Melissa!
http://ballsiest.com/sportsblog/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/melissa-theuriau.jpg
….I think Cambell Brown’s constant and unyielding glare is giving me a brain tumor.
Me want see terrorist baby bump !!!
How does Campbell Brown achieve “No Bias”? It sounds like a Zen state. Is her soul a mirror onto reality, reflecting the truth through our television screens? It would seem that she would either have to say nothing about a story, or provide an infinite amount of context in order to ensure that she has not hand-picked her facts in a biased fashion.
Venerable Campbell Brown, if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, is that bullshit?
8pm. Weeknights. CNN. 8pm. Weeknights. CNN. 8pm. Weeknights. CNN. 8pm. Weeknights. CNN.
I have this strange urge to turn on CNN tonight at 8pm. I could seriously go for some no bias/no bull. Why is that?
I’m seeing a little bias, and a little bull in that article. WILL CAMPBELL STAND FOR IT?
Before looking at these pictures I never noticed that she either has a really small frame or a GIGANTIC head.
A sexy gigantic head.
Can we get an animated Campbell in something along the lines of the dancing iPod Zombies?
Why, it’s the Vapid Talking Head Married To a GOP Propagandist Who Came In From The Cold! Carrying a newspaper like uncle Richard Cohen told her!
mephistopheles jefferson: with photoshop, ANYONE can be made a hot nekkid supermodel..
So, I’ve been giving this topic sincere thought. There were great moments, to be sure: It was Campbell’s labeling of the McCain campaign as sexist for their handling of Palin that led to the gift-that-keeps-on-giving Couric interview.
But now Ms. Brown is on the air giving her special comments, that have nothing special about them, every damned day; also, she’s invaded my webiness. Brown has become Keith Olbermann with less facial hair.
Campbell, perhaps I’m being ungrateful. Perhaps the Couric interview merits more good will? Perhaps I should give your saucy looks another shot. . .
But at 10:44 a.m. (meaning I’ve been avoiding work for an hour and forty-four minutes thinking about this) Such Sweet Thunder officially proclaims: “Campbell Brown has jumped the shark.”
ManchuCandidate: Eh bien, il va falloir que je me mise de chercher les nouvelles chez les réseaux français! Ce n’est pas la seule… euh… ancreuse(?) chaude que j’ai jamais vu. Il nous faut trop d’imagination avec nos présentatrices américaines! (Sauf avec Fox, au moins…)
Me wants Bernadette Stanis.
That pic of Katie Couric makes her look kinda hot!!!!
Campbell and Couric liik like some sort of spies or something, sultry, seductive spies… wouldn’t mind going ‘undercover’ with either of them!
grendel: Oh get real — politics without whoring is like Chinese baby formula without toxic waste. I, for one, welcome our Brownian overlady. And why doesn’t CNN put her whole show on the web instead of only letting me watch her two-minute commentary?
Anybody else see a resemblance to a certain Sara K. Smith?
Single best alt-text ever.
She’s like the Great Eye of Sauron.
I have a strange, irresistable urge to lick a pair of Converse sneakers…
I just wonder what camera trickery Vogue had to use to shrink her down from her colossal sidebar dominating size, to appear in normal human proportions. And I don’t want any bias or bull in the answer as our God Queen Campbell has decreed.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Larry McAwful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5hrUGFhsXo
Larry McAwful:
Oui. Oui. Pardon moi, je parle anglais maintenant. Especially because Melissa isn’t a ditz either from what I’ve read up on her.
In my imagination, les femmes de Faux are engaged in lesbian sex play while “Not Steve Douchey” sits in the corner screaming about how traumatized he feels about it.
With regards to Campbell, as our beloved Barry would say… “ENOUGH!”
So who is the Campbell thing, and how do I get in on it?
Is it a teevee show? When’s it on? What channel?
I hate these elitists ads that don’t really tell you what it is the sponsor wants you to buy or do.
At least the American Swim models told me to fap.
And still no one ever mention’s C-Span’s own Greta Brawner (nee Wodele).
http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l291/enbuenora/greta-3_640×480.png
suchsweetthunder: She’s giving special comments now? Good lord. Keith Olbermann won’t do special comments every day, even though MSNBC has requested it. He only does it when it moves him.
Keith Olbermann is also biased. However, Olbermann makes no bones about having bias; that’s what he’s all about. Campbell Brown is apparently trying to seem like a journalist but is also offering opinion pieces now? You can’t have it both ways, Campbell.
If someone gives a special comment without bias, then what the hell’s the point?
Meh. Color me unimpressed until Men’s Vogue does a similar photospread featuring Anderson Cooper in a Jil Sander micromini, Keith Olbermann is a Dolce pantsuit, and Matt Lauer sporting a pair of four-inch Blahniks.
EnBuenOra: No kidding! I talk about her all the time. I probably mention her on some web site or message board at least once a week. I’ve brought her up here before. That woman drives me wild.
SayItWithWookies: We’re supposed to be better than the politicians we make fun of. How else can we feel smugly superior?
Campbell Brown is Wonkette’s Big Brother, and she is watching all of us.
She’s in so many pictures here, maybe she ought to tack “Naomi” on as a first name!
my Vilsack is now officially in an uproar!
queeraselvis v 2.0: What you said. With a side of utterly.
I wonder if Campbell has a profile posted at Shaadi.com?
Or am I the only person seeing that ad?
grendel: Well, mocking the site’s sponsors is a good start. But only on weeknights at 8pm on CNN.
I WILL DO AS CAMPBELL SAYS. I WILL DO AS CAMPBELL SAYS. BE GONE TO THE BOWELS OF FIERY HELL YE WHO WOULD TRAFFIC IN BIAS AND BULL!
What does Campbell Brown have against Len Bias? Can’t a dead brother just lie in peace?
CNN advertising No Bias, No Bull on Wonkette??? Has their media buyer considered standing in a cold shower and shredding $100 bills?
Larry McAwful: Or so they would associate her with the soup that is made from sick chickens raised in tiny cages and slimey tasteless noodles? Seems more likely.
HipHopOpotamus: Ha! Thanks; that made my morning. Flight of the Conchords is one of the best things they’ve ever put on television, ever. (Of course I get the reference your moniker makes.)
My favorite episode is the one with the Indian fruit vendor who was prejudiced against New Zealanders. That was great.
They are so fucking over selling her. It’s like the US automotive industry….see a good thing…make it the basis of the company and run it into the ground.
Campbell who?
She blinked!!!
I swear to FSM she blinked…
Jesus, whatever you do, don’t read the article. Serious brain damage awaits. As Original Wonkette once said, it proves that it is possible to give a woman a blowjob.
Cokie Roberts is all I have to say. Campbell Brown will never go away. I’m sorry for the children who will never know a world without her photoshopped pictures and unbiased opinions. What she has against cattle of the male gender is anybody’s guess.
No Michelle Gielan? Assholes!
Pissing off Tucker Bounds and taking the McCain camp to task for their handling of Palin was pretty rad. Now her “Thirty Seconds of Nagging Over Some Painfully Obvious Shit” routine has grown tiresome.
Reading her bio, I see that Campbell Brown and I are both getting boned by Republicans.
Oh, of course Campbell Brown– the la-di-da Homecoming Queen of CNN. Nancy Grace and Jane Velez- Mitchell are left to seethe bitterly in the wings. Watch your back, Campbell.
THAT GUY HAS LONG TEETH.
WadISay: We all were, ever since the 1994 elections.
This is an outrage!
How can Vouge do a piece on Famous TV Newsladies wiwhout including Sean Hannity?
Campbell’s hair is luxuriant. I bet she uses Pert Plus.
Mustang: At higher levels, the initiates are told that Bias and Bull are ok, as long as they are in the service of Campbell. But this is secret knowledge. It costs $500,000 to be initiated into this level, and then your aura is officially BROWN and you will be able to pass into the dimension of CNN after death.
And PS - Kate Bolduan? The step-sisters make her clean the ovens the day Vogue rolled through?
randomsausage: Oh random, you didn’t read the article! Campbell doesn’t go for that dollar aisle Pert Plus shit. She goes for the bourgeois Oooh La La Tresseme (but only because CNN won’t spring for Frederic Fekkai or Paul Mitchell Salon).
How can we get some images of Campbell Brown on the left side of the screen? Then she’d have Wonkette totally under her control.
EnBuenOra: She has a face like a frying pan for crying out loud.
The Campbellina has “redefined common sense” in the opinion of Vogue. No Bias, No Bull, Lots and Lots of Bitchiness.
EEEEK! With the addition of the picture on the posting, I see FOUR Campbell Brown pictures on my computer screen, which is about to explode.
My first reaction to that picture was “Why is Kate Jackson standing in front of those posters of Campbell Brown?”
What a bunch of CRAP! You want real journalism? Pick up a newspaper. These guys are nothing fancy window-dressing who get layers of make-up slapped on, sit in a chair, and read TelePrompTers! Give us all a break! You want real journalism? Talk to a reporter who shows up at a daily newspaper at 9 a.m., gets an assignment to cover a daily story, and is told to have that story in to the line editor on his desk by 5 p.m. that day. You want real journalism? Talk to newspaper investigative journalists who spend months–MONTHS–on investigative stories that end up actually breaking news and causing changes–investigative pieces such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Detroit Free Press, The Detroit News and The Los Angeles Times all produced in 2008. This, folks, is real journalism. Forget pretty anchorwomen. Forget the make-up. Forget television. You want real journalism, pick up a newspaper and read it.
Campbell Brown haunts me in my dreams. She has set up camp at Wonkette and now she is in PRINT, too?!
http://www.charlietueats.com
why does the war on christmas gift guide have a dude humpin a unicorn on it?
is it just me .. I keep on reading her ad on the right “NO BIAS” as “NO BRAS”
I get disappointed each time I re-read it correctly.
thefrontpage:
The New York Times: Bankrupt;
The Detroit Free Press: Bankrupt;
The Detroit News: Bankrupt;
The Los Angeles Times: Bankrupt;
The Washington Post: Soon to be bankrupt.
What this site needs is more Campbell Brown. That said, her nose looks narrower every day. Is she getting a photoshop nosejob, or is she morphing into Michael Jackson?
I can’t see the little arrows that let you switch between posts. Did Campbell Brown eat them? Or is my computer just being mean today.
To hell with Campbell Brown. The Vogue supermodel is hotter than any of them. Why don’t they give her a job on CNN? And, of course, plaster Wonkette with her face?
Where, indeed, is the vision CNN — and Wonkette — so desperately need in these troubled times?
thefrontpage: Randolf Hearst is that you?
suchsweetthunder: You want bankrupt? Check out the Detroit auto industry. Check out the financial services sector. Check out Bill’s diner just down on the corner. Forget the prolonged implosion of print media. The big three, baby. That’s real bankruptcy.
WIDTAP: I was guessing Richard Cohen.
RabidHamster: I dunno, but after 2 days of making various remarks about her, I finally actually got up the nerve to look at her, I mean really look at her big old face there, and she is really homely! By God!
queeraselvis v 2.0: Thanks for the info. You really are a queer Elvis! Not that there’s anything wrong with that……
When they were working up that flick about Jessica Savitch, the gamey working title was “Lady Reads the News.” The greatest names in America belong to those who merely sit and look dignified while they read someone else’s copy from a teleprompter. In the Golden Era, Steve Allen would on occasion impulsively lead his entire studio audience across the street to the RanchMarket. That’s improv! Can Campbell Brown do that?
Larry McAwful: Her name is Alma Dale.
The sad thing is that it’s working. This ad campaign, I mean.
See? We’re all talking about her.
Now she has name recognition on Wonkette.
Today, Wonkette. Tomorrow, the world.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Well said!
So if we have banished the image of Campbell from appearing with our Wonkette, can we feel doubly smug or just hotness deprived?
Support the Coops! Down with Brown!
Kev-O-Tron: Whatever.
But Wolf Blitzer appears in the index to ‘Fateful Triangle.’ Top that, Ms. Brown!
WIDTAP: Blasphemer!
Aurelio: The Giant Campbell is the light! All nonbelievers will be left behind when SHE comes to earth and walks among us. NO BIAS! NO BULL! Amen.
The good thing about worshipping the giant Campbell is that graven images are okay…even encouraged.
I have one question and one question only: Where oh where is the Campbell Brown Blingee?
Does Miss Camps B own Wonkette? She really is everywhere, and her “maybe it’s mabeline” eyes follow me throughout my work cube. Let’s paste Anderson Cooper everywhere. He’s much better looking and I’d rather have his eyes following me around in my overly gray cubical.
d4g33z: We must give thanks to the CNN ubergruppenfuhrers that it is the fragrant Campbell, not the bear-like Wolfie, who towers at the side of our browsers.
I am in total overload. This is the most amazing sight ever - 6 CBs! I always wanted to do twins and now I can’t even comprehend 6 of them. There would be starbursts, but I’m reasonably sure she’s not a trannie.
sevenrepeat: I’m curious to understand how you define an overly gay cubicle. If you really want to impress me, I think we all want to see pixxx of said cubicle.
How about this: keep Campbell Brown but fix it so we can draw mustaches on her.
I discovered late last night that I can do amazing things with her in Mobile Safari by grabbing her with a finger and shaking her up and down.
Why don’t we go ahead and rename this place Brownette?
I gotta admit, the campaign is successful. I had no friggin’ clue who she was before she started staring at me for hours every day. Now I’m wondering if we’re engaged or something.
Servo: Nerd.
Well, okay you’re right.
WIDTAP: No, it’s C F Kane.
Campbell Brown in Vogue looks like Spiderman’s girl, Kirsten Dunst, with dark hair.
How did they do that? Of course our dear Kirsten has bigger boobies, at least until Camby gets more preggy. But I don’t really want to see a picture of pregnant CB in a white wet t-shirt. Non-pregnant Kirsten Dunst in a white wet t-shirt…mmmmmmm.
bearbait: She admitted yesterday that she really looks twenty years older than that. Is that fraud if she doesn’t match the ad, or is it covered by the general agreement that everything on TV is a fraud by definition?
NILF….News I’d Like To F*k!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
qaf: You’re assuming that was the real Campbell. Despite her omnipresence on this site, I’m somehow doubt that she’s trolling Wonkette to respond to Vewol Mevemont. Thus, a fake Campbell admitted that her picture was a bit retouched — which is to say, a fake admitted that a fake was fake, which is a paradox that will probably rip a hole in the space time continuum.
Vewol Mevemont: “I’m somehow doubt” — learn uself some grammur, retardid baby!
Newspapers = real journalism.
Reading teleprompters caked in make-up: Not real journalism.
That’s the point. It’s true.
thefrontpage: Caking a telepromter in make-up sounds like a bad idea.
Borat: it actually says overly “gray” cubical, but being that i am gay it does become an overly gay cubical. i would be the only accessory in it that makes it overly gay because i work for the department of interior and i have pink hair.
Borat: but anyone who wants to see my overly gray gay cubical can see it on my myspace page under my “my mobile photos” album. there you can listen to my band and see a picture of me blocking the view of campbell brown on the wonkette page. http://www.myspace.com/se7enrepeat
Campbell Brown: No Bias. No Bull. Own Teeth.
Niyazov has been dead for awhile now, and also he wasn’t nearly as hot. Now its Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, who punishes people by making them remember his name.
She totally looks like my favorite of Charlie’s Angels, Kate Jackson, in that photo.
Well at least the site isn’t overrun by pictures of Jack Cafferty. Or Olbermann, I’d have to get a bigger monitor for that head.
thefrontpage: Hey….relax…..this is nothing new…
I don’t see any life-size picture of Campbell Brown. What are you guys talking about??