jobs nobody wants

Former Ohio Secretary Of State Running For RNC

This tool again?Robert Kennedy Jr. will attest that Ken Blackwell is the literal reincarnation of Beelzebub, who rode a steaming sleigh of entrails from the bowels of Hell to Ohio in order to help George W. Bush steal the election of 2004. This makes him a perfect candidate to run the Republican National Committee as it faces an ever more glorious future.

You know who runs the RNC today? That’s right, you don’t! That is because the position’s current occupant is so humiliated and demoralized by his terrible job that he has gladly accepted a minimum-wage position as a fart-smeller in a medical research lab. Who will step into the void? Ken Blackwell and his trusty pal Tina Benkiser, who signs a letter announcing her co-candidacy thus: “I wish a joyous holiday season!” (WTF.)

Blackwell and Benkiser look to lead the RNC [Political Ticker]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  1. bfstevie

    Is it true that this guy will offer a snarky “worst dressed” list every year? And what does Bill Kristol think about this?

  2. 4tehlulz

    Oh yes, Ken Blackwell, from the failed Ohio GOP, and Tina Bensiker, a tool from the Texas GOP.


  3. Dan Perino

    [re=200775]snideinplainsight[/re]: Not the ‘stache; it’s the same squinty look of total (and failed) concentration.

  4. WadISay

    Blackwell should demand a big bonus for turning things around by getting Saxby Chambliss elected, then split.

    I suppose when CNN runs ads for Candy Crowley, we’ll remember these as the good old days.

  5. norbizness

    If we assume that Ken Blackwell is a man of normal height, then Campbell really is over 88 feet tall.

    And Tina Pretty Ballerina’s hair is actually a Hillary-cut from 1993, which qualifies as contemporary or even from the near-future in trend-challenged Texas.

  6. actor212

    [re=200791]norbizness[/re]: She looks like a State Farm agent from Dubuque I laid once.

    *shrug* It was a lonely night. I’m not proud.

  7. Fear of a Black Reagan

    Don’t even bother with snark on that one huh? Blackwell jes’ speaks for himself I guess.

  8. ManchuCandidate

    Yay! (minority and Dem) Voter caging and suppression for everyone!!

    Who is going to handle RNC minority outreach? David Duke?

  9. Monsieur Grumpe

    “I wish a joyous holiday season!” sounds like Xmas haters to me. Where’s BillO when you need him? Oh right.


  10. Servo

    “Set forth a fresh vision for our Party, yet one committed to our conservative principles”
    That’s an invitation for conflict if I ever saw one.

  11. hugrygirl

    As a (kind of) Ohioan, I can say without a doubt that I hate Ken Blackwell only less than I hate Bob Taft.

  12. timeoutofmind

    this will help remind anyone who still pays attention to politics that, if the GOP goes through with this, that they are still avowedly the party of corruption and vice. this guy is a gutter snake, and if the repubs are happy to have him in charge, i’m happy they’re happy.

  13. BarthexDeRosa

    [re=200807]Dreamer[/re]: This is Campbell Brown Presents: WONKETTE!!, a subsidiary of CNN Globotechnocracy, Inc.

    Where’ve you been?

  14. azw88

    [re=200808]facehead[/re]: Must be a Republican…. he’s a crook AND has a name that just screams I LIKE TEH BUTTSECKS!

  15. robanybody

    I wonder what rude comment Ken Blackwell will have about Campbell’s outfit and where she’ll be on his top 10 Worst Dressed list this year. Probably something like “Unitarian Minister meets Blue Light Special.” God, I’m so glad the guy’s not really dead.

  16. azw88

    [re=200809]facehead[/re]: YIKES! There are THREE Campbel Brown’s on my page!! It’s like Mr. Smith in the Matrix movies, replicating all over the place!! Scary scary shit, especially since the morning caffiene buzz hasn’t kicked in yet!

  17. shortsshortsshorts

    GOP winning strategy (DO NOT TELL THEM THE SECRET K?):

    Ronald Reagan’s DNA will be combined with Barry Goldwater, with the face of JFK. The experiment will go wrong however when Goldwater mavericks out and Reagan, who is a sad pushoever, and a sap, is unsure what to do with himself. They will turn to the face of JFK for answers, but it will be too late. JFK will have already ignited a nuclear vendetta against the Rooskies, and all hope is lost. Then, after a billion 9/11’s happen the real GOP favorite, Former Mayor 9/11, will descend to take his thrown forever.

    [re=200807]Dreamer[/re]: She’s paying the bills, apparently.

  18. p-Sludge

    [re=200812]timeoutofmind[/re]: you libruls are so hard to please. First there’s all the ranting about the small tent. Then we lift up the flap and allow a few gutter snakes in, and all of the sudden …

  19. Miller

    Since all black people look alike, they might be trying to confuse people into thinking the likable black guy who’s making all the good decisions is really a Republican in charge of the RNC. But if anyone is fit to lead the Republicans, it’s a guy who got embarrassed by a Democrat in a red leaning state when he tried to run on Republican ideas. There are a lot of them now, he feels their pain.

  20. Mustang

    The Pugs say, “We’ll get us a nigra, too!” Just like last fall they said, “We’ll get us a gal too!” BTW “accepted a minimum-wage position as a fart-smeller in a medical research lab” is a truly inspired turn of phrase. Here here!

  21. Woodwards Friend

    I’m still voting for Ronald Reagan’s corpse. I don’t care if they reanimate him or not. Just dig him up and make him RNC chair. Even dead, the Gipper has far more life in him then Mitt Romney and the rest of this dreck.

  22. Dreamer

    [re=200809]facehead[/re]: is she not married to that guy who represented the most incompetent adminstration ever.

    [re=200854]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: [re=200814]BarthexDeRosa[/re]: who sold out Newell or Ken? At least it is not GVS at Fox.

  23. Hooray For Anything

    Blackwell should because he excels at the one thing Republicans are good at, mainly stealing elections

  24. Purple Tide

    [re=200819]Larry McAwful[/re]: Repugs are obSESSED with pedophilia. It’s a prerequisite for party membership. Mr. Blackwell, tell me more about this North American Mailboy Love Association…

  25. smoke5032

    We in Ohio are well acquainted with this prick. He was pretty shameless about suppressing voter turnout in Democratic districts in 2004, so much so that when he ran for governor two years later, he was opposed by a nebbish congressman and ex schoolteacher and got, oh, six or seven votes. He had also tied his campaign strategy to every mega-preacher and snake handling evangelist in the state, thus basing his support on the hicks in their congregations who wouldn’t vote for a black man this side of judgment day. This is the political acumen the GOP needs now – Go Ken!

  26. populucious

    [re=200804]Servo[/re]: My grandma did perfect the recipe for this, it involved a good solid hunk of wood (or an iron pipe, in an emergency), Downy, a hot iron and homemade potato starch. Alas, she did not pass the secret on before she left us for the senior living complex.

  27. finallyhappy

    People have to run for this position? You would think it would be a punishment because we all know the RNC will take more hits in the next election cycle.

  28. aleks

    You slack shouldered sack of nuts. We’d just look like a bunch of Johnny-Come-Lately’s, breaking out our own negro, it doesn’t matter how dark. And that’s the goddamned problem right there. People think this Obama has fresh ideas. He’s Au Courant and we’re the past.

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