Wonkette
Democratic Superstar Tom Vilsack nearly won the nomination, until he dropped out in … what, 2006? No, it was February 2007 — almost two years ago! And he endorsed Hillary. So she paid off his campaign debt, which wasn’t really very much as his campaign consisted solely of old props from a local high-school musical version of 1984.
Anyway, his loyalty (?) and his Iowa-ness have won him the Midwestern Prize of Obamaland, secretary of agriculture! So never mind about this other weirdo, some cup fetishist. [Argus Leader]
Is that a double chin or is that a goiter?
Hooray for the tubby little cubby getting the nomination. I hope he visits with Campbell Brown on CNN 8pm weeknights.
Ken, you are a willy nilly silly old bear.
Congrats, and just in time for ethanol stocks to totally crater. Corn should be too cheap to meter by next harvest. Have a nice time at Ag, dude.
Pooh and agriculture?
Must have been a subliminal message to Hopey.
Oh hooray, we can haz three corns in every pot and 2 corn-fueled cars in every garaga!
Barry had a choice take a Pooh or a Piss for Agriculture. Seems fair I guess. A pooh makes for better fertilizer.
Wow — Campbell Brown’s been devouring this site nonstop for 2 days and it looks like she hasn’t gained an ounce! Petite adorable pixel-scarfing media monster should divulge her diet secrets in a book. Then she can go promote it on teevee shows, which, according to her ad, she doesn’t have enough of yet.
Oh, bother.
Still no Southerner in the cabinet?? You’d think Barry would appreciate their knowledge of how to grow cotton, tobacco, collard greens & watermelon, right?
gradgrind:
Since you brought her up, do you know when her show starts and on which network?
Is it VILSACK or DICKSACK?
I thought we already covered this. Furies, not furries. C’mon, Obama, get it straight!
Hey, you’re slipping, Ken. No gratuitous cornhole/cornholing reference!
Hillary is gathering the players for her coup de gras.
Does he empty his (e)vilsack on the ground, as God intended, or does he do it in a sissy cup?
Oh, wait, a “vilsack” is a large, grotesque neck pouch for storing nuts and grain which provides the cabinet nominee with his name.
What none of you understand is that Campbell Brown can see you. She can see you all.
Welcome to obscurity, Secretary Villsack. Good news: you get to watch every SOU live because no one wants you President in case something happens (interestingly, Hillary has volunteered to stay behind all four years). Plus, his campaign debt had to be what? Hundred bucks?
If you scroll all the way down in Google Chrome, you will discover that, in the case of unbiased Ms. Brown, the carpet does indeed match the drapes.
kipperthegod: I’ll talk to you about this l8r. ATM CNNCBOS*.
*At this moment, I’ve got CNN’s Campbell Brown looking over my shoulder.
WagTehGod: Win.
Texan Bulldoggette: Yeah, and where’s all the Marxist libtard unreal-American Socialists? I’m sure I was promised at least one token Socialist.
well what has he peed in?
So that means he’s the guy we have to repeatedly spam about legalizing the weed, right? And by “we,” I mean people other than myself.
Soon enough, we’ll all be wearing vilsacks.
So Mr. Vilpick is the president-elects sack, then?
I’ve heard from associates that he once took a dump in a plane’s food cart. Should I e-mail FDL?
It’s like on Futurama, when the humans were at war with the bouncing balls: “We must stop the bloodshed. We’ve already seen too many body bags und ball sacks.”
cal: Dagnabbit! That is the second time today! Get outta my head!
gradgrind: Except now there’s a M$FT live search banner ad chasing her around like a high school stalker. Christ, what fresh HTML hell is this?
You gotta admit, she sure does have mighty purty high cheekbones. Weee like a Wolf!
“You’ve got bull. I hate bull!”
Okay, it’s beginning to make sense. New secretary of agriculture is linked to Campbell Brown’s bull’s TruckNutz. The toothy demon bitch haunted a one-quarter stripe down the rite side of my dreams last night. Call me when she takes a job with Naked News.
Granted, he has the charisma of cold oatmeal, but he was actually a pretty decent governor. And he was chairman of the governors’ conference once, which means he’s at least as qualified as Howard Dean.
A short hiaku about Tom Vilsack:
Unknowable, fuzzy man
son of the hard-cropp’t midwest
Do not look for me on fifth avenue
Early life and family
Early political career
Governorship
2008 presidential campaign
Views on Iraq
Views on energy security
References
I blame furries
A man who knows about the rich, compost-and-insecticide-saturated soil of America, obvs. A silt of the earth.
I guess I’ll keep shoving generous portions of poisonous high-fructose corn syrup down my obese kids’ throats, then.
Vilsack?
How many vils does it take to fill up?
FInally, someone in Agriculture who will get to the bottom of the missing Honey Bee problem.
Obama should show his chops and nominate Campbell Brown as Minister of Information. She can see me. I know it. All hail Minister Brown.
I saw the former governeror on his one and only
DC campaign appearance, made about one day before
he suspended his campaign. right aftet he spoke,
Charlie Cook and Stu Rothenberg got on stage to
talk about the 2008 elections. they forgot to mention
Gov. Tom.
campbell is the minister of eavesdropping on our
comments. I am going back to watch the Shiba Inu
puppies now.
I can look forward to four years of giggling like a schoolgirl every time I hear his name.
In Iowa he was referred to as ballsack. Oh and now i have the “winne the pooh” song going around in my head. Thanks for that you pooh-heads
Let us not forget that Iowa has also given us the Spooge & Split.
I resent pain in the ass little Iowa, because being the first up, they stick us with whatever wacky idea they have for wasting corn on everything but people. In the heady days of ethanol, people in Mexico City staged demonstrations to protest the insane price tortillas had shot up to.
If this country doesn’t have an official vegetable, I’ll bet we will soon. Not that I have anything against corn–but to eat. Here in Okrfahoma, it’s one of our four basic food groups, esp. when it’s made into Fritos. As in the Dee-Licious Frito Chili Pie.