DANA DON'T COMPLAIN  2:35 pm December 16, 2008

Check Out Dana Perino’s Lady Shiner

by Jim Newell

Here’s our first glimpse of icy sex goddess Dana Perino back at her beloved White House perch, only a couple of days after an Iraqi microphone socked her in the eye amidst what reporters have called a “melee.” Also, the wealthy New York blog Gawker has posted an excellent AP photo of the battered mouthpiece at her most vulnerable, so go look at that too. [YouTube, Gawker]

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mattbolt December 16, 2008 at 2:37 pm

That’s right, you slag, you go on TV an’ you tell ‘em it was a microphone er somethin’. *cracks knuckles*

norbizness December 16, 2008 at 2:38 pm

Because of this travesty… despoiling the purest flower of whitebread Republican innocence… I now retroactively support the invasion and occupation of Iraq and call for a going-away round of month-long carpet bombing.

shortsshortsshorts December 16, 2008 at 2:39 pm

She obviously received this black eye running away in terror from the clutches of Cheney’s chambers. They simply needed a fall guy. WAKE UP SHEEPLES!!!2!!~!1!1

Scarab December 16, 2008 at 2:42 pm

Wow, that’s a way better story than the ‘car door’ one my wife always uses.

metropolitan December 16, 2008 at 2:42 pm

somehow i don’t think scott mclellan could have pulled off the look so well.

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2008 at 2:43 pm

Does that get a purple heart or are we just going straight to Medal of Freedom?

norbizness December 16, 2008 at 2:44 pm

[re=200207]Scarab[/re]: “I fell down a flight of stairs leading down to Dick Cheney’s subterranean Baghdad pleasure palace.”

sike101 December 16, 2008 at 2:44 pm

Dana Perino with a black eye and a giant Campbell Brown on the same screen…..BRB.

Wonks Adventure December 16, 2008 at 2:45 pm

dana perino is too biased and gives way too much bull. unfortunately, i have no other way to get the news since my only free time comes at 8 PM on weeknights. oh, if only i had some other source of news … preferably a brunette …

Schadenfried December 16, 2008 at 2:48 pm

That microphone is sexist…

…wait, what?

problemwithcaring December 16, 2008 at 2:48 pm

I call bullshit – that eye looks so fake. Ashley Todd knows they call it a “shiner” because it gives off the shine of black Sharpie ink…

Noodle Salad December 16, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Lyddie England gives this video only one thumb up. Needs more dogs and/or nudity.

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2008 at 2:51 pm

Funny, I thought the guy she was working for was Dana’s black eye.

american mutt December 16, 2008 at 2:53 pm

It’s a curse from god that that woman is so hot.

Borat December 16, 2008 at 2:57 pm

Are there really any witnesses to the incident? I suspect this is an exit strategy for exclusive paid interviews and book deals for Microphone-net. It might actually work for her compared to Cut-nut

Servo December 16, 2008 at 2:58 pm

Mr. Microphone really kicked her ass.

Anonymous Office Zombie December 16, 2008 at 2:59 pm

That’ll teach her to adhere to her orthodox gender role. You better switch over to reporting the softer White House news, Dana, or there’ll be more hell to pay.

Come here a minute December 16, 2008 at 3:03 pm

You can be damn sure Dana Perino is keeping an eye on Helen Thomas’s orthopedic shoes. If there is any news you will hear about it, sans bullshit, on CNN 8pm weeknights.

Neilist December 16, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Q: What do you tell a Lying, Bubble-Headed Bleach Blonde Spokesperson with two black eyes?

A: Nothing – you’ve told her twice already.

(Thank you! Thank you! You’re a wonderful audience! I’ll be here all week! Try the veal!)

Neon Trotsky December 16, 2008 at 3:03 pm

“No, no, no–the shoe thrower is fine, he’s just expressing himself in the way any childish brown person would. What? No, we’re not going to intervene on his behalf as Iraqi police repeatedly beat the snot out of him. Cause he wouldn’t learn his lesson that way, silly!”

Advocatus_Diaboli December 16, 2008 at 3:03 pm

What do you say to Dana Perino when she has two black eyes?

What’s the point, you already told her twice.

thanks, I’m here all week.

friendlynerd December 16, 2008 at 3:04 pm

It’s a good look for her, always wanted to see her look like that.

lawrenceofthedesert December 16, 2008 at 3:05 pm

The incident brought immediate overtures from the camp of Oscar De La Hoya, since Perino is even smaller than Manny Pacquaio. Perino has been installed as the early favorite at 8-5.

TGY December 16, 2008 at 3:05 pm

[re=200227]american mutt[/re]: Yes.

Mr. Herpes December 16, 2008 at 3:07 pm

So I was feeling kinda smug about the Iraqi Shoe Bomber — you know, getting a little payback for all those dead Iraqis — and then I saw Dana’s shiner. Now, that’s going too far, you m*****f*****! Dog pile!

randomsausage December 16, 2008 at 3:08 pm

[re=200214]sike101[/re]: Oh, I’m imagining that great porn scenario right now. Campbell and Dana in “The Press Sexetary”. Dana is unhappy with with harsh tone of some of Campbell’s questioning at the press conference — and asks her to stay behind to “clear the air”. David Gregory raises his eyebrows in knowing fashion…..after a heated argument backstage, hot lesbo action ensues and when Campbell gets on top for a 69 session, she accidently slams Perino in the eye with her knee. Ok, I’ll get me coat….

shortsshortsshorts December 16, 2008 at 3:09 pm

[re=200251]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: [re=200249]Neilist[/re]: THAT’S NOT SEXUAL TRANSCENDENCE!
*slaps da bitches and chugs 40*

Aquannissiwamissoo December 16, 2008 at 3:10 pm

Umm … the guy who threw the shoes has now got broken ribs and other injuries.

Monkey December 16, 2008 at 3:10 pm

What a babe.

timeoutofmind December 16, 2008 at 3:14 pm

like being decapitated in your bed by shiite death squads, only different.

Neilist December 16, 2008 at 3:15 pm

[re=200251]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Stop stealing MY material, you HACK!

actor212 December 16, 2008 at 3:16 pm

[re=200202]norbizness[/re]: So you’re defending Dana Perino’s honor?

That’s more than I can say for Dana Perino…

zetetic December 16, 2008 at 3:18 pm

[re=200262]randomsausage[/re]: Campbell and Dana

I’d bill them as “Hack & Flack”

crookedE December 16, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Dana Perino getting hit in the face with a microphone is poetic justice I can believe in.

southernfried December 16, 2008 at 3:21 pm

I just sit my lazy American ass on the couch watching White House press briefings on CSPAN, muttering “I’d hit that” and some furriner actually has the gumption to go out and do it. That, my friends, is why this country is doing the BIG FAIL.

peachgirl December 16, 2008 at 3:22 pm

The White House is apparently the only entity on the face of the earth that “can’t tell you what he was thinking”.

Teh Bushies are goin’ out as they came in.

(I was about to type something hopeful like ‘At least they are going’ but don’t want to jinx it.)

wickedlittledoll December 16, 2008 at 3:28 pm

Ha ha maybe now she isn’t even a pretty face

Larry McAwful December 16, 2008 at 3:37 pm

We’ve heard so much about a media bias against Republicans, but there’s been so little evidence to support it. Until now. Turns out it’s the media’s equipment that has a bias against Republicans. I guess this makes me feel better in a general sense of American journalism’s ethics, but the surreal aspect is a little hard to wrap my head around. It’s like Eugene Ionesco is writing the news, or something.

Lascauxcaveman December 16, 2008 at 3:43 pm

[re=200290]southernfried[/re]: Haha. I was going to throw out teh tried, old “I’d Hit That” joke, but you actually made it into something funny. I’m glad I read through b4 commenting.

Advocatus_Diaboli December 16, 2008 at 3:44 pm

[re=200276]Neilist[/re]: So sorry. Great minds, and all, or maybe just recycled bad jokes.

Kind of like knowing the difference between a Cadillac and a dead prostitute.

ba da boom

Paterlanger December 16, 2008 at 3:45 pm

[re=200219]problemwithcaring[/re]: It is a fake shiner! Her make-up artist on the set of CSI: Miami helped Dana with it so she could punk the White House press corps. That’s howie Dana do it.

actor212 December 16, 2008 at 3:46 pm

That’s a black eye? That’s her pitiful excuse for a black eye?

Shit, my ex used to give me shiners that made me look like a raccoon! LOL! What kind of weak-ass mic stand did that to her?

I mean, I used to give my ex…you know, all manly and shit…

proudcitizen December 16, 2008 at 3:53 pm

It somehow would have been more fitting if the microphone had gotten jammed down her throat.

d4g33z December 16, 2008 at 3:59 pm

Dana P. = Starbuck

Haha. My comment input text-box is pleasantly obscuring Campell Brown’s face. How come she doesn’t have a black eye?

BigIrish December 16, 2008 at 4:00 pm

Please, please, Wonkette editors, do something about this giant ad! How can I focus on the important news of the day with Alma Dale Campbell Brown staring me in the face and silently begging for me to watch her show with her android eyes and sparkling, manufactured wit. Help! Rachel Maddow! Help!

And to set the record straight, I was trying to hit Ms. Perino in the mouth. Another failed scheme.

AngryBlakGuy December 16, 2008 at 4:01 pm

…I would like to take this time to apologize for all the blasphemous things I have said about God. Because seeing “W” bob and weave to avoid a shoe to the head and simultaneously have a boom mic try and skull fukk Dana Perino proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a God!

Aurelio December 16, 2008 at 4:03 pm

She still looks better than that giantess, Campbell Brown.

Scooter December 16, 2008 at 4:16 pm

Another day in Baghdad. Another case of collateral damage. Move along.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla December 16, 2008 at 4:39 pm

Looks like Dana is checking out Campbell’s rack and isn’t all that impressed. “You call that a C cup? Really?”

Toomush Infermashun December 16, 2008 at 4:41 pm

Just another Bush failure….Cheney would’ve got her with a shotgun….and she’d still have apologized for gettin’ hit….

blader December 16, 2008 at 4:46 pm

People, I don’t see Dana in any one of those videos that recorded the incident.

Is she really above pulling an Ashley Todd?

TGY December 16, 2008 at 4:53 pm

I <3 Dana, liar that she is. Let he who is without sin cast the first shoe.

randomsausage December 16, 2008 at 5:21 pm

[re=200342]d4g33z[/re]: +1 on Starbuck.

As for the hugeness of Campbell Brown on our right side, please note that this is just phase one of a marketing campaign from our CNN overlords. Expect a 50 foot blow-up Campbell at next year’s Macy’s thanksgiving day parade. Her mouth alone will be able to swallow whole office blocks

Custerwolf December 16, 2008 at 5:52 pm

[re=200276]Neilist[/re]: Fuck yer veal.It’s as soft, pasty white, and limp-wristed as the black-eyed Perineum – and for much the same reason. As for Campbell – her face looks like it’s been hermetically sealed in Saran Wrap. Give me some more of dem purdy empty-headed ladees pleez.

What did one microphone say to the other microphone?
“Dana Perino – ? Yeah, I’d hit that.”
And Bush? – Jeezus, talk about a lame duck.

Neilist December 16, 2008 at 6:00 pm

[re=200460]randomsausage[/re]: “Whole city blocks”? Has Sara been telling people about the size of my Pants Python?

[re=200483]Custerwolf[/re]: Hey, it’s a two-drink per set minimum in here, you mangy cur. And yes, that is the Governor of Alaska hovering in that helicopter with the Dragnov sniper rifle.

cspurgeon December 16, 2008 at 6:37 pm


Borat December 16, 2008 at 6:41 pm

The more I look at this, the more I’m certain it isn’t real. A microphone? Really? Were you sitting in the audience? Why are you holding microphones next to your eyes.

Footage/Fotos or your fakin’

Custerwolf December 16, 2008 at 6:47 pm

[re=200488]Neilist[/re]: Got my Gvozdika ready to frag that bitch’s ass.

finallyhappy December 16, 2008 at 6:55 pm

Did the microphone have a poster of Che in its room? The show thrower did -we just saw his bedroom on BBC. How did I ever get along without cable and world news- BVN(I think it is in Flemish) and when someone speaks English- they have flemish subtitles. Ok,i’m sick in bed-humor me.

randomsausage December 16, 2008 at 7:20 pm

Anyone know if Campbell has legs? They’ve chopped her off at the waist here. And I’d hate to think she couldn’t wrap her pins around me, as I plunge my love pump into her fuzzy lap flounder

Servo December 16, 2008 at 7:38 pm

“Test…..test…..test…..te-OW, FUCK!”

sarcasticusername December 16, 2008 at 8:36 pm

this is the best she’s ever looked; i wish she’d get a black eye more often.

Waveos December 16, 2008 at 11:15 pm

Izzat Mary from the “Joe the Plumber” vid?

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 17, 2008 at 2:28 am

Said Ms. Perinos, “No, I just ran into a big black microphone. But you don’t understand the president the way I do. Nobody does. If he doesn’t drink he is a saint. And if he hurts, he hurts out of love.”

MrNeutral December 17, 2008 at 10:38 am

Till 10 times prettier than you will ever be littlebabydoll

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