dana don't complain

Check Out Dana Perino’s Lady Shiner

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Here’s our first glimpse of icy sex goddess Dana Perino back at her beloved White House perch, only a couple of days after an Iraqi microphone socked her in the eye amidst what reporters have called a “melee.” Also, the wealthy New York blog Gawker has posted an excellent AP photo of the battered mouthpiece at her most vulnerable, so go look at that too. [YouTube, Gawker]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • mattbolt

    That’s right, you slag, you go on TV an’ you tell ’em it was a microphone er somethin’. *cracks knuckles*

  • norbizness

    Because of this travesty… despoiling the purest flower of whitebread Republican innocence… I now retroactively support the invasion and occupation of Iraq and call for a going-away round of month-long carpet bombing.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    She obviously received this black eye running away in terror from the clutches of Cheney’s chambers. They simply needed a fall guy. WAKE UP SHEEPLES!!!2!!~!1!1

  • Scarab

    Wow, that’s a way better story than the ‘car door’ one my wife always uses.

  • metropolitan

    somehow i don’t think scott mclellan could have pulled off the look so well.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Does that get a purple heart or are we just going straight to Medal of Freedom?

  • norbizness

    [re=200207]Scarab[/re]: “I fell down a flight of stairs leading down to Dick Cheney’s subterranean Baghdad pleasure palace.”

  • sike101

    Dana Perino with a black eye and a giant Campbell Brown on the same screen…..BRB.

  • Wonks Adventure

    dana perino is too biased and gives way too much bull. unfortunately, i have no other way to get the news since my only free time comes at 8 PM on weeknights. oh, if only i had some other source of news … preferably a brunette …

  • Schadenfried

    That microphone is sexist…

    …wait, what?

  • problemwithcaring

    I call bullshit – that eye looks so fake. Ashley Todd knows they call it a “shiner” because it gives off the shine of black Sharpie ink…

  • Noodle Salad

    Lyddie England gives this video only one thumb up. Needs more dogs and/or nudity.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Funny, I thought the guy she was working for was Dana’s black eye.

  • american mutt

    It’s a curse from god that that woman is so hot.

  • Borat

    Are there really any witnesses to the incident? I suspect this is an exit strategy for exclusive paid interviews and book deals for Microphone-net. It might actually work for her compared to Cut-nut

  • Servo

    Mr. Microphone really kicked her ass.

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    That’ll teach her to adhere to her orthodox gender role. You better switch over to reporting the softer White House news, Dana, or there’ll be more hell to pay.

  • Come here a minute

    You can be damn sure Dana Perino is keeping an eye on Helen Thomas’s orthopedic shoes. If there is any news you will hear about it, sans bullshit, on CNN 8pm weeknights.

  • Neilist

    Q: What do you tell a Lying, Bubble-Headed Bleach Blonde Spokesperson with two black eyes?

    A: Nothing – you’ve told her twice already.

    (Thank you! Thank you! You’re a wonderful audience! I’ll be here all week! Try the veal!)

  • Neon Trotsky

    “No, no, no–the shoe thrower is fine, he’s just expressing himself in the way any childish brown person would. What? No, we’re not going to intervene on his behalf as Iraqi police repeatedly beat the snot out of him. Cause he wouldn’t learn his lesson that way, silly!”

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    What do you say to Dana Perino when she has two black eyes?

    What’s the point, you already told her twice.

    thanks, I’m here all week.

  • friendlynerd

    It’s a good look for her, always wanted to see her look like that.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    The incident brought immediate overtures from the camp of Oscar De La Hoya, since Perino is even smaller than Manny Pacquaio. Perino has been installed as the early favorite at 8-5.

  • TGY

    [re=200227]american mutt[/re]: Yes.

  • Mr. Herpes

    So I was feeling kinda smug about the Iraqi Shoe Bomber — you know, getting a little payback for all those dead Iraqis — and then I saw Dana’s shiner. Now, that’s going too far, you m*****f*****! Dog pile!

  • randomsausage

    [re=200214]sike101[/re]: Oh, I’m imagining that great porn scenario right now. Campbell and Dana in “The Press Sexetary”. Dana is unhappy with with harsh tone of some of Campbell’s questioning at the press conference — and asks her to stay behind to “clear the air”. David Gregory raises his eyebrows in knowing fashion…..after a heated argument backstage, hot lesbo action ensues and when Campbell gets on top for a 69 session, she accidently slams Perino in the eye with her knee. Ok, I’ll get me coat….

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=200251]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: [re=200249]Neilist[/re]: THAT’S NOT SEXUAL TRANSCENDENCE!
    *slaps da bitches and chugs 40*

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    Umm … the guy who threw the shoes has now got broken ribs and other injuries.

  • Monkey

    What a babe.

  • timeoutofmind

    like being decapitated in your bed by shiite death squads, only different.

  • Neilist

    [re=200251]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Stop stealing MY material, you HACK!

  • actor212

    [re=200202]norbizness[/re]: So you’re defending Dana Perino’s honor?

    That’s more than I can say for Dana Perino…

  • zetetic

    [re=200262]randomsausage[/re]: Campbell and Dana

    I’d bill them as “Hack & Flack”

  • crookedE

    Dana Perino getting hit in the face with a microphone is poetic justice I can believe in.

  • southernfried

    I just sit my lazy American ass on the couch watching White House press briefings on CSPAN, muttering “I’d hit that” and some furriner actually has the gumption to go out and do it. That, my friends, is why this country is doing the BIG FAIL.

  • peachgirl

    The White House is apparently the only entity on the face of the earth that “can’t tell you what he was thinking”.

    Teh Bushies are goin’ out as they came in.

    (I was about to type something hopeful like ‘At least they are going’ but don’t want to jinx it.)

  • wickedlittledoll

    Ha ha maybe now she isn’t even a pretty face

  • Larry McAwful

    We’ve heard so much about a media bias against Republicans, but there’s been so little evidence to support it. Until now. Turns out it’s the media’s equipment that has a bias against Republicans. I guess this makes me feel better in a general sense of American journalism’s ethics, but the surreal aspect is a little hard to wrap my head around. It’s like Eugene Ionesco is writing the news, or something.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=200290]southernfried[/re]: Haha. I was going to throw out teh tried, old “I’d Hit That” joke, but you actually made it into something funny. I’m glad I read through b4 commenting.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    [re=200276]Neilist[/re]: So sorry. Great minds, and all, or maybe just recycled bad jokes.

    Kind of like knowing the difference between a Cadillac and a dead prostitute.

    ba da boom

  • Paterlanger

    [re=200219]problemwithcaring[/re]: It is a fake shiner! Her make-up artist on the set of CSI: Miami helped Dana with it so she could punk the White House press corps. That’s howie Dana do it.

  • actor212

    That’s a black eye? That’s her pitiful excuse for a black eye?

    Shit, my ex used to give me shiners that made me look like a raccoon! LOL! What kind of weak-ass mic stand did that to her?

    I mean, I used to give my ex…you know, all manly and shit…

  • proudcitizen

    It somehow would have been more fitting if the microphone had gotten jammed down her throat.

  • d4g33z

    Dana P. = Starbuck

    Haha. My comment input text-box is pleasantly obscuring Campell Brown’s face. How come she doesn’t have a black eye?

  • BigIrish

    Please, please, Wonkette editors, do something about this giant ad! How can I focus on the important news of the day with Alma Dale Campbell Brown staring me in the face and silently begging for me to watch her show with her android eyes and sparkling, manufactured wit. Help! Rachel Maddow! Help!

    And to set the record straight, I was trying to hit Ms. Perino in the mouth. Another failed scheme.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I would like to take this time to apologize for all the blasphemous things I have said about God. Because seeing “W” bob and weave to avoid a shoe to the head and simultaneously have a boom mic try and skull fukk Dana Perino proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a God!

  • Aurelio

    She still looks better than that giantess, Campbell Brown.

  • Scooter

    Another day in Baghdad. Another case of collateral damage. Move along.

  • SlouchingTowardsWasilla

    Looks like Dana is checking out Campbell’s rack and isn’t all that impressed. “You call that a C cup? Really?”

  • Toomush Infermashun

    Just another Bush failure….Cheney would’ve got her with a shotgun….and she’d still have apologized for gettin’ hit….

  • blader

    People, I don’t see Dana in any one of those videos that recorded the incident.

    Is she really above pulling an Ashley Todd?

  • TGY

    I <3 Dana, liar that she is. Let he who is without sin cast the first shoe.

  • randomsausage

    [re=200342]d4g33z[/re]: +1 on Starbuck.

    As for the hugeness of Campbell Brown on our right side, please note that this is just phase one of a marketing campaign from our CNN overlords. Expect a 50 foot blow-up Campbell at next year’s Macy’s thanksgiving day parade. Her mouth alone will be able to swallow whole office blocks

  • Custerwolf

    [re=200276]Neilist[/re]: Fuck yer veal.It’s as soft, pasty white, and limp-wristed as the black-eyed Perineum – and for much the same reason. As for Campbell – her face looks like it’s been hermetically sealed in Saran Wrap. Give me some more of dem purdy empty-headed ladees pleez.

    What did one microphone say to the other microphone?
    “Dana Perino – ? Yeah, I’d hit that.”
    And Bush? – Jeezus, talk about a lame duck.

  • Neilist

    [re=200460]randomsausage[/re]: “Whole city blocks”? Has Sara been telling people about the size of my Pants Python?

    [re=200483]Custerwolf[/re]: Hey, it’s a two-drink per set minimum in here, you mangy cur. And yes, that is the Governor of Alaska hovering in that helicopter with the Dragnov sniper rifle.

  • cspurgeon


  • Borat

    The more I look at this, the more I’m certain it isn’t real. A microphone? Really? Were you sitting in the audience? Why are you holding microphones next to your eyes.

    Footage/Fotos or your fakin’

  • Custerwolf

    [re=200488]Neilist[/re]: Got my Gvozdika ready to frag that bitch’s ass.

  • finallyhappy

    Did the microphone have a poster of Che in its room? The show thrower did -we just saw his bedroom on BBC. How did I ever get along without cable and world news- BVN(I think it is in Flemish) and when someone speaks English- they have flemish subtitles. Ok,i’m sick in bed-humor me.

  • randomsausage

    Anyone know if Campbell has legs? They’ve chopped her off at the waist here. And I’d hate to think she couldn’t wrap her pins around me, as I plunge my love pump into her fuzzy lap flounder

  • Servo

    “Test…..test…..test…..te-OW, FUCK!”

  • sarcasticusername

    this is the best she’s ever looked; i wish she’d get a black eye more often.

  • Waveos

    Izzat Mary from the “Joe the Plumber” vid?

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Said Ms. Perinos, “No, I just ran into a big black microphone. But you don’t understand the president the way I do. Nobody does. If he doesn’t drink he is a saint. And if he hurts, he hurts out of love.”

  • MrNeutral

    Till 10 times prettier than you will ever be littlebabydoll