About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Hola wonkerados.

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71 comments

  1. shortsshortsshorts

    I AM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, for Barry.
    Why can’t he be high as well?
    OH SHIT DOODS I HAVE TO GO TO WORK ER WHATEVER THIS ISN’T GUUD.

  2. MathewBrooks

    [re=199812]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: Yes this is bullshit. We can’t have the snorg girl but we have this 40 foot tall Campbell Brown.

  3. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=199812]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: Man, just be happy the Nat’l Review isn’t advertising K Lo with a similar ‘skin’ ad here.

    (one shudders at the term)

  4. mattbolt

    Oh man, Barry just harshed the entire country’s buzz. That was a serious shutdown line right there.
    “President Obama, do you-”
    “no.”
    “But I just-”
    “no, never, go away.”
    “But, the choom gang-”
    “die.”

  5. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=199817]Sussemilch[/re]: Doesn’t make crazy, but if personal experience is any indication, it sure makes lazy.

  6. norbizness

    Hamsterdams for none, miniature American flags for others, and a retina-searing giantess for Wonkette readers!

  7. heathenish

    campbell brown, really? no bias, really? she’s annoying, but if cnn is paying wonkette good money, to have her here, well….ok…

  8. norbizness

    [re=199812]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: They wouldn’t have if the New York Times hadn’t called her or something pertaining to her “Smart, sharp,” even though the full sentence was: “Smart, sharp, incisive, non-suicide-inducing… these are adjectives that have never, ever been applied to the vortex of idiocy known as Campbell Brown.”

  9. Doglessliberal

    Too bad, legalize all of it, regulate it, and tax the crap out if it, and we save all the money we are wasting on DEA, elminate tons of crime, and make tons of money to spend on important things. But no mainstream pol can ever say that.

  10. Larry McAwful

    Okay, man, here’s what we’re gonna do. We gotta protest America’s harsh marijuana prohibition, and we gotta show a huge mass of force, man, just like they did in the ’60s. We all need to gather together today with signs and NORML tee shirts at 4:20 this afternoon to let them know that… know that… hey, who has Doritos? I need some Doritos right now. Someone wanna go to the 7-11? I’m feeling a little too good to move around right now…

    J-Bone? Peace Bear? You guys up for a Doritos run? And then we gotta… ah, fuck it…

  11. V572625694

    To escape the unbearable scrutiny of Campbell Brown (at least partially):

    1. Reduce browser window to less than full screen.
    2. Slide window to the right until Ms Brown disappears
    3. Use the spacebar to scroll down; Shift-Space Bar moves

  12. Hamster

    People, it will never be “legalized”. Now “decriminalized” is another story altogether. I would like to get Campbell Brown’s opinion on this… OH SHIT, she is right here! Campbell…?

  13. StripesAndPlaids

    I think S (Stoner) Man is from Denton Texas. A place my friend from Denton once called “Mayberry LSD.”

  14. Servo

    [re=199856]Doglessliberal[/re]:
    The politicians don’t seem to have a problem with alcohol, a drug that IS legal and taxed.

  15. PoliticalGraffiti

    yes, but what about the pharmaceutical companies? we cant have those corporations go down the drain cuz of weed. think of the capitalists!

  16. Larry McAwful

    [re=199864]V572625694[/re]: That’s good advice. My only problem is that the blinkyflashy ads on the left annoy me even more, and I’m already using the less-than-full-screen trick to hide those. I shouldn’t have to go through so much trouble just to read an otherwise great web site without getting headaches.

    I’m glad I’m not a wizard like in Harry Potter, because those poor bastards have to put up with moving photos all over their newspapers all the time. That would drive me crazy.

  17. OffTheRecord

    Oh forget Campbell Brown, at least she is pretty, am I the only one seeing the Mitch who stole Christmas? It is bad enough that the man is my senator, but forcing to look at his puke green face on my beloved wonkette is just too much. I am going to have nightmares.

  18. ManchuCandidate

    [re=199826]Lascauxcaveman[/re]:
    A 57″ Plasma screen isn’t a big enough, er, canvas for K-Overfed. Plus the near universal eye gouging following its debut.

  19. Mr Blifil

    After he did all that coke, back in the day? Maybe the underlying subtext is that Barry MIGHT get behind MJ legalization provided he gets a “taste” first…

  20. Servo

    [re=199861]Larry McAwful[/re]:
    The military periodically has a Combined Federal Campaign, which allows sevicemembers to make alloted donations to a charity of their choice. Once, while scanning through the lengthy book of approved charitable organizations, I discovered NORML had made the list. Laughed my Marine ass off, as did the rest of the lab, who were mostly former potheads.

  21. I Am Not Your Gary Busey

    [re=199866]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: If I had a bar of soap for every dread-headed hippie in Denton, I guess I’d go wash me some hippies then…

  22. Doglessliberal

    [re=199861]Larry McAwful[/re]: see, that’s the problem. Getting a group of stoned people organized….

  23. Doglessliberal

    [re=199870]Servo[/re]: nicotine is more apt, actually. That is a drug specifically exempted from FDA regs. Yay for tobacco lobbyists on that one.

  24. JadedDIssonance

    Here’s the other problem: As soon as Barry legalizes pot, we’re going to have a shit ton of anti-groups like MABD (Mothers Against Buzzed Driving) and PA (Potheads Anonymous) and people will be fighting with their insurance companies for coverage and then we’ll have weed commercials on teevee.

    basically, teh sukk.

  25. Larry McAwful

    Barry better legalize marijuana. Otherwise all the stoners are gonna vote Republican next time. If they remember when the next election is.

  26. agitpropster

    Dear Hopey:
    I guess “Change We Can Believe In” won’t be applicable to the ONE POINT FIVE MILLION NON-VIOLENT DRUG OFFENDERS currently incarcerated in this country. The contemptible assholes at DEMA needn’t have worried a bit about you.

    Who knew that you support the same “intelligent” drug policy as that fat cretin in Phoenix, Sheriff “Chain Gang Joe” Arpaio?

    The 4K I contributed to your campaign came from slinging OG Kush. Does this mean I get a refund?

  27. AllenAllen

    I vote Democrat but KNOW THIS! Clinton and the Dems did more to terrorize doctors and threaten MedMJ clinics than any Republipuke ever thought of doing! (google HHS Donna Shalala medical marijuana) Write Donna a letter while you’re at it and tell her and Bill Clinton how you feel (IT’S YOUR PARTY!)
    Write your DEMOCRATIC PARTY representative and TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL! They DO NOT agree with you on this issue!!! Get that through your heads. You MUST TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT. They currently disagree with the majority of US citizens who do not want their neighbors going to JAIL for “getting high.”

    Example:
    “Dr. Mikuriya’s Medicine
    The prime target of the government’s campaign against physicians who recommend medical marijuana is fighting for his patients and his professional life. ”
    http://safeaccessnow.org/article.php?id=1536

  28. AllenAllen

    The KEY (no pun intended!) to this is the FDA head (again, no pun intended) appointment! It is the FDA classification NOT CONGRESS, not the courts, that makes it illegal.

  29. american mutt

    [re=199997]agitpropster[/re]: Obama has different views regarding drug crimes and the sentences for possession. Don’t get carried away here. He’s a black democrat remember? He wants no one in jail.

  30. Anu

    Well, he didn’t say that he was opposed to the legalization, only that he does not support it. There’s still hope…

  31. WIDTAP

    [re=199823]MathewBrooks[/re]: Jeebus. Just block the image in your browser already.

    Lazy, good-fer-nothin’ Campbell haters.

  32. daisy chain

    Wow. Curtly dismissing the reasoned opinion of the majority of Americans – how presidential of him. I agree, though. If it were legal it wouldn’t be any fun anymore.

  33. Campbell-on-CNN

    [re=200046]Deepthroat[/re]: It means I was a sorority girl, and drank alcohol. ‘Bye for now.

  34. quoth teh Raven

    [re=199864]V572625694[/re]: Great. Now all I can see is her left eyebrow raised smuggly at me. Or maybe I’m just too high. My morning fatty (it’s still early here on the Left Coast) is skewing my perspective.

  35. mememaw

    Marijuana, however, will be required when Barry descends from heaven on a unicorn — with a brilliant rainbow in the background, and butterflies, lots of butterflies.

  36. McCainsThirdNipple

    I just jerked off to your Campbell Brown “side-bar advertisement” Wonkette. I hope you’re proud of yourselves.

  37. 102415

    [re=199825]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That’s what crazy old Mr.102415 just said, but he thought I said Osama. Never mind.

  38. Kev-O-Tron

    Has Jim Anchower commented on this yet? “The Cruise” should be good reading when it comes along next.

  39. assistant/atlas

    Wait, dude…what? Pot isn’t legal? Are you guys sure? I’m pretty sure it’s legal here in California.

    Please, Barry, can we at least make it Schedule 2 or 3? Campbell would agree with me. You know she sparks a j after a long day of dealing with The Coop’s ego and his catty little “saddlebags” comments.

  40. JoethePoster

    Marijuana will be legal when it is as healthy as cigarettes and alcohol.

    Also, we don’t want to put inner city kids out of work. Or out of the path of bullets.

    America wins!

Comments are closed.