WELL SCREW YOU TOO  10:59 am December 16, 2008

‘Obama’ Offers Stunning Reply To Change.gov’s Hippie Legions

by Jim Newell

See, “S. Man?” Just like we told you yesterday. Why does Obama hate the Left? [Change.gov]


Hola wonkerados.

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shortsshortsshorts December 16, 2008 at 11:02 am

Why can’t he be high as well?

ronaldpagan December 16, 2008 at 11:03 am

Just because he deals…that’s how he raised all that campaign money you know.

Styrofoam Boots December 16, 2008 at 11:05 am

Man, you editors are really loving Campbell Brown.

Sussemilch December 16, 2008 at 11:08 am

Marijuana doesn’t make crazy people. The problem is crazy people smoking marijuana.

Lascauxcaveman December 16, 2008 at 11:08 am

But he’s seriously considering legalizing “a little blow.”

MathewBrooks December 16, 2008 at 11:10 am

[re=199812]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: Yes this is bullshit. We can’t have the snorg girl but we have this 40 foot tall Campbell Brown.

Deepthroat December 16, 2008 at 11:11 am

yeah, put those billions of bums to work in the weed factories pickin’ seeds and stems and shit.

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2008 at 11:11 am

So opium, then? Would that be okay?

Lascauxcaveman December 16, 2008 at 11:11 am

[re=199812]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: Man, just be happy the Nat’l Review isn’t advertising K Lo with a similar ‘skin’ ad here.

(one shudders at the term)

1977ub@gmail.com December 16, 2008 at 11:13 am

If you stare at her for 60 seconds, then look away, you see Stephanie Miller.

mattbolt December 16, 2008 at 11:14 am

Oh man, Barry just harshed the entire country’s buzz. That was a serious shutdown line right there.
“President Obama, do you-”
“But I just-”
“no, never, go away.”
“But, the choom gang-”

Lascauxcaveman December 16, 2008 at 11:14 am

[re=199817]Sussemilch[/re]: Doesn’t make crazy, but if personal experience is any indication, it sure makes lazy.

norbizness December 16, 2008 at 11:14 am

Hamsterdams for none, miniature American flags for others, and a retina-searing giantess for Wonkette readers!

heathenish December 16, 2008 at 11:18 am

campbell brown, really? no bias, really? she’s annoying, but if cnn is paying wonkette good money, to have her here, well….ok…

norbizness December 16, 2008 at 11:19 am

[re=199812]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: They wouldn’t have if the New York Times hadn’t called her or something pertaining to her “Smart, sharp,” even though the full sentence was: “Smart, sharp, incisive, non-suicide-inducing… these are adjectives that have never, ever been applied to the vortex of idiocy known as Campbell Brown.”

Servo December 16, 2008 at 11:22 am

The Goddess gave us marijuana to help numb us of stupidity.

NoWireHangers December 16, 2008 at 11:24 am

Barry may not condone it, but I’m still watching his inauguration sky high.

ph7 December 16, 2008 at 11:25 am

Say WHAT? Even Gov. Palin allows Alaskans to grow five plants at home… Ddi I vote for the wrong pothead?

Servo December 16, 2008 at 11:27 am

Of? From, Servo, ya sober dumbass! You apparently need a fatty.

WadISay December 16, 2008 at 11:29 am

[re=199839]norbizness[/re]: Campbell Brown is why god invented mute buttons.

Cape Clod December 16, 2008 at 11:32 am

O.K., you hear that, loser hippie? Now cut your damn hair and go get a job in a video store.

OfTheTheatricalPersuasian December 16, 2008 at 11:32 am

Does this Campbell Brown browser skin really have to happen? I mean, seriously.

Doglessliberal December 16, 2008 at 11:33 am

Too bad, legalize all of it, regulate it, and tax the crap out if it, and we save all the money we are wasting on DEA, elminate tons of crime, and make tons of money to spend on important things. But no mainstream pol can ever say that.

Larry McAwful December 16, 2008 at 11:37 am

Okay, man, here’s what we’re gonna do. We gotta protest America’s harsh marijuana prohibition, and we gotta show a huge mass of force, man, just like they did in the ’60s. We all need to gather together today with signs and NORML tee shirts at 4:20 this afternoon to let them know that… know that… hey, who has Doritos? I need some Doritos right now. Someone wanna go to the 7-11? I’m feeling a little too good to move around right now…

J-Bone? Peace Bear? You guys up for a Doritos run? And then we gotta… ah, fuck it…

V572625694 December 16, 2008 at 11:38 am

To escape the unbearable scrutiny of Campbell Brown (at least partially):

1. Reduce browser window to less than full screen.
2. Slide window to the right until Ms Brown disappears
3. Use the spacebar to scroll down; Shift-Space Bar moves

Hamster December 16, 2008 at 11:38 am

People, it will never be “legalized”. Now “decriminalized” is another story altogether. I would like to get Campbell Brown’s opinion on this… OH SHIT, she is right here! Campbell…?

StripesAndPlaids December 16, 2008 at 11:39 am

I think S (Stoner) Man is from Denton Texas. A place my friend from Denton once called “Mayberry LSD.”

Mr.BorgtoYou December 16, 2008 at 11:40 am

[re=199812]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: Wasn’t she on the Naked News?

Servo December 16, 2008 at 11:40 am

The politicians don’t seem to have a problem with alcohol, a drug that IS legal and taxed.

PoliticalGraffiti December 16, 2008 at 11:40 am

yes, but what about the pharmaceutical companies? we cant have those corporations go down the drain cuz of weed. think of the capitalists!

Larry McAwful December 16, 2008 at 11:44 am

[re=199864]V572625694[/re]: That’s good advice. My only problem is that the blinkyflashy ads on the left annoy me even more, and I’m already using the less-than-full-screen trick to hide those. I shouldn’t have to go through so much trouble just to read an otherwise great web site without getting headaches.

I’m glad I’m not a wizard like in Harry Potter, because those poor bastards have to put up with moving photos all over their newspapers all the time. That would drive me crazy.

OffTheRecord December 16, 2008 at 11:44 am

Oh forget Campbell Brown, at least she is pretty, am I the only one seeing the Mitch who stole Christmas? It is bad enough that the man is my senator, but forcing to look at his puke green face on my beloved wonkette is just too much. I am going to have nightmares.

ManchuCandidate December 16, 2008 at 11:45 am

A 57″ Plasma screen isn’t a big enough, er, canvas for K-Overfed. Plus the near universal eye gouging following its debut.

Mr Blifil December 16, 2008 at 11:45 am

After he did all that coke, back in the day? Maybe the underlying subtext is that Barry MIGHT get behind MJ legalization provided he gets a “taste” first…

chascates December 16, 2008 at 11:55 am

Is there any way we can just see Campbell’s legs?

Canuckledragger December 16, 2008 at 11:56 am

S. Man’s not here, Dave.


Servo December 16, 2008 at 11:59 am

[re=199861]Larry McAwful[/re]:
The military periodically has a Combined Federal Campaign, which allows sevicemembers to make alloted donations to a charity of their choice. Once, while scanning through the lengthy book of approved charitable organizations, I discovered NORML had made the list. Laughed my Marine ass off, as did the rest of the lab, who were mostly former potheads.

I Am Not Your Gary Busey December 16, 2008 at 12:06 pm

[re=199866]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: If I had a bar of soap for every dread-headed hippie in Denton, I guess I’d go wash me some hippies then…

Doglessliberal December 16, 2008 at 12:07 pm

[re=199861]Larry McAwful[/re]: see, that’s the problem. Getting a group of stoned people organized….

Doglessliberal December 16, 2008 at 12:07 pm

[re=199870]Servo[/re]: nicotine is more apt, actually. That is a drug specifically exempted from FDA regs. Yay for tobacco lobbyists on that one.

JadedDIssonance December 16, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Here’s the other problem: As soon as Barry legalizes pot, we’re going to have a shit ton of anti-groups like MABD (Mothers Against Buzzed Driving) and PA (Potheads Anonymous) and people will be fighting with their insurance companies for coverage and then we’ll have weed commercials on teevee.

basically, teh sukk.

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 16, 2008 at 12:26 pm

Damn. Can I switch my vote to the other guy?

Haha, like I voted.

Larry McAwful December 16, 2008 at 12:28 pm

Barry better legalize marijuana. Otherwise all the stoners are gonna vote Republican next time. If they remember when the next election is.

bago December 16, 2008 at 12:29 pm

Ok, this post it took 3 whole comments to get to the brown. No wonder assfucking is so poopular here.

TGY December 16, 2008 at 12:39 pm

What can Campbell Brown do for you!

Borat December 16, 2008 at 12:39 pm

Damn, I was hoping for some deflation in weed prices.

Campbell-on-CNN December 16, 2008 at 12:40 pm

[re=199889]chascates[/re]: What do I look like, a JCPenny catalog model here?

Weeknights 8pm CNN

shortsshortsshorts December 16, 2008 at 12:41 pm

[re=199990]Campbell-on-CNN[/re]: Are you some kind of really good auto-response?

agitpropster December 16, 2008 at 12:44 pm

Dear Hopey:
I guess “Change We Can Believe In” won’t be applicable to the ONE POINT FIVE MILLION NON-VIOLENT DRUG OFFENDERS currently incarcerated in this country. The contemptible assholes at DEMA needn’t have worried a bit about you.

Who knew that you support the same “intelligent” drug policy as that fat cretin in Phoenix, Sheriff “Chain Gang Joe” Arpaio?

The 4K I contributed to your campaign came from slinging OG Kush. Does this mean I get a refund?

AllenAllen December 16, 2008 at 12:51 pm

I vote Democrat but KNOW THIS! Clinton and the Dems did more to terrorize doctors and threaten MedMJ clinics than any Republipuke ever thought of doing! (google HHS Donna Shalala medical marijuana) Write Donna a letter while you’re at it and tell her and Bill Clinton how you feel (IT’S YOUR PARTY!)
Write your DEMOCRATIC PARTY representative and TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL! They DO NOT agree with you on this issue!!! Get that through your heads. You MUST TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT. They currently disagree with the majority of US citizens who do not want their neighbors going to JAIL for “getting high.”

“Dr. Mikuriya’s Medicine
The prime target of the government’s campaign against physicians who recommend medical marijuana is fighting for his patients and his professional life. ”

Capitol Hillbilly December 16, 2008 at 12:51 pm

ah, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness …

AllenAllen December 16, 2008 at 12:53 pm

The KEY (no pun intended!) to this is the FDA head (again, no pun intended) appointment! It is the FDA classification NOT CONGRESS, not the courts, that makes it illegal.

american mutt December 16, 2008 at 12:54 pm

[re=199997]agitpropster[/re]: Obama has different views regarding drug crimes and the sentences for possession. Don’t get carried away here. He’s a black democrat remember? He wants no one in jail.

JadedDIssonance December 16, 2008 at 12:56 pm

[re=199994]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yeah, that’s pretty creepy.

Anu December 16, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Well, he didn’t say that he was opposed to the legalization, only that he does not support it. There’s still hope…

WIDTAP December 16, 2008 at 1:06 pm

[re=199823]MathewBrooks[/re]: Jeebus. Just block the image in your browser already.

Lazy, good-fer-nothin’ Campbell haters.

daisy chain December 16, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Wow. Curtly dismissing the reasoned opinion of the majority of Americans – how presidential of him. I agree, though. If it were legal it wouldn’t be any fun anymore.

Deepthroat December 16, 2008 at 1:11 pm

did you know that Campbell has a tattoo of a banana on her ankle? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

Campbell-on-CNN December 16, 2008 at 1:22 pm

[re=200046]Deepthroat[/re]: It means I was a sorority girl, and drank alcohol. ‘Bye for now.

problemwithcaring December 16, 2008 at 1:40 pm

Thank god I get high before work, or news like this would crush me.

independentthinkerdude December 16, 2008 at 2:01 pm

i’m so baked.

quoth teh Raven December 16, 2008 at 2:07 pm

[re=199864]V572625694[/re]: Great. Now all I can see is her left eyebrow raised smuggly at me. Or maybe I’m just too high. My morning fatty (it’s still early here on the Left Coast) is skewing my perspective.

mememaw December 16, 2008 at 2:27 pm

Marijuana, however, will be required when Barry descends from heaven on a unicorn — with a brilliant rainbow in the background, and butterflies, lots of butterflies.

McCainsThirdNipple December 16, 2008 at 2:29 pm

I just jerked off to your Campbell Brown “side-bar advertisement” Wonkette. I hope you’re proud of yourselves.

102415 December 16, 2008 at 2:52 pm

[re=199825]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That’s what crazy old Mr.102415 just said, but he thought I said Osama. Never mind.

choom gangster December 16, 2008 at 3:55 pm

I thought we were still cool Barry

Kev-O-Tron December 16, 2008 at 4:49 pm

Has Jim Anchower commented on this yet? “The Cruise” should be good reading when it comes along next.

assistant/atlas December 16, 2008 at 5:24 pm

Wait, dude…what? Pot isn’t legal? Are you guys sure? I’m pretty sure it’s legal here in California.

Please, Barry, can we at least make it Schedule 2 or 3? Campbell would agree with me. You know she sparks a j after a long day of dealing with The Coop’s ego and his catty little “saddlebags” comments.

JoethePoster December 16, 2008 at 6:19 pm

Marijuana will be legal when it is as healthy as cigarettes and alcohol.

Also, we don’t want to put inner city kids out of work. Or out of the path of bullets.

America wins!

bopumofu December 16, 2008 at 7:10 pm

Is this website supposed to look like this or is my browser busted?

bopumofu December 16, 2008 at 7:49 pm

Mebbe it’S teh marihunuana

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