Wonkette
George W. Bush’s armed phalanx of security goons did a piss-poor job of defending the President from the terrible threat of shoes the other day. Ever since the shoe bomber incident of 2001, every moran in America has known what a dangerous weapon a simple human foot-covering can be. So why did security screeners not notice an Iraqi journalist wearing these shoe-like objects that were, in fact, shoes?
More to the point, why did Secret Service agents not shoot that guy to death repeatedly? That is the normal protocol, to draw your gun and start blammin’ away if anybody looks at your President sideways.
The answer, of course, is that everybody is just so tired and bored of Bush that they were all just like, “Oh blah blah blah, look another Iraqi hates George Bush and is screaming while hurling objects at him, guess I’ll go play my XBox now.”
Secret Service Shows Unusual Restraint in ‘Bizarre’ Shoe Incident [Political Radar]
Well, at least they’re beating the shit out of him in custody. Gotta go with what you know, Bush Administration!
The Secret Service can take my shoes when they pry my cold, dead fingers from them.
Now had those been stilettos, well…
Good old shoe, good old shoe…
Considering that in a small random sample of Iraqis there probably would be at least some who had lost love ones, and probably few who had not suffered in some way from the occupation, Bush must have some ball-balls to lecture to them without being surrounded by a phalanx of Universal Soldiers.
Plus either he’s a dodgeball champ or knew those shoes were coming.
I’ve got to go now, the voices are calling.
Even his Secret Service detail is probably pretty fed up with Dubya. How much damage can a loafer do? Let him get whacked with one, then react on the second one. Seemed like good plan at the time, although the thrower’s aim could have been better.
I don’t want any of these guys on Obama’s detail. They’ve been hoping to miss a bullet for this jackass for at least 6 years now, how can we expect them to remember that their job is to actually protect the president?
Terry: Yeah, how lackadaisical has the secret service has become when they let this shoe assassin run completely out of ammo before they intervene?
Gopherit: No freakin’ way. They’ve met Dick Cheney. They’ve been working themselves ragged to keep Dubya in one piece. I think they just relaxed coasting across the finish line here.
Actually, they were probably figuring there was a second shoe thrower involved and were rapidly checking to see if there was a grassy knoll somewhere in the room.
and it becomes a kind of weird joke, sort of like Cheney and his shotgun. Always leave ‘em laughing when you say good bye. and good riddance.
New Secret Service Pledge. “Mr. President, I’d take a shore for you!”
on the other video it looked like he tossed high, but from this angle, that first shoe was right on. Bush has the reflexes of a coke addict.
Why was he throwing Campbell Brown’s shoes? I sometimes get information confused…
The Secret Service is probably as sick of the dumbshit as the rest of us. One too many cute nicknames have put them over the top of whogivesafuck mountain. I suspect we’ll be seeing many things flying towards the soon to be expresident in the next few years.
Sara, you’re only encouraging nude press conferences!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww! Maybe if the goddess Campbell Brown covers.
…if this is the best that the secret service can do, thenI have a feeling Dubya wont be leaving the house let alone the country very often after January 20th.
I just think that, as a nation, we are all suffering from shoe fatigue.
Also, I blame furries.
Now if he had been wearing a more aerodynamic kind of shoe things might have been different.
http://fashionation.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/death-by-shoes/
Last night Olberman played the clip about 50 times, and I noticed that Chimpy actually grinned, twice, after having shoes thrown at him. He’s such a freaking psychopath. Wouldn’t the normal reaction be to wonder, “Gee, why is somebody throwing shit at me,” and maybe get a little concerned about it?
Again, I still wonder if it was a staged event (like every other Bush appearance).
This is for all the Iraqis who’ve died, and all the mothers who lost sons, and everybody who ever had to take their shoes off at the airport…..
FMAZ!
Uncle Al: He was probably smiling because he was already thinking of the police jumping on the guy’s testicles repeatedly.
…so how long before Al Queda uses this in one of their videos?
dannygutters: Are you kidding? He dodged that like it was the Vietnam war!
Back and to the left! Back and to the left! Back and to the left!
norbizness: To be fair, it is the Iraqi security forces who seem to be doing the beating.
Uncle Al: Bush has a good sense of frat-boy humor. He laughed at the shoe-throwing incident like he laughs at fart-jokes and will-ferrell movies. It was kind of funny getting shoes thrown at you.
I still want to take a look at Dana Perino’s ass to inspect that carved “I” on her butt cheek.
That is the greatest screen grab of all time. I really am horrified about how impressive I find his reflexes.
Does anyone else find it odd how “meh” Malaki was?
The still for this story clearly shows James Lipton interviewing superhero “The Human Blur”.
Obama’s next White House Pressers should start with him saying, “I just wanted to acknowledge that the person who threw his shoes at President Bush despised him, considered the President to be a criminal, and called him an animal; and because of this, as a precautionary, from now on reporters from Fox News have to undo their shoes when they come in here.”
In somewhat seriousness, it’s actually kinda disturbing that the guy threw not one but two shoes and managed to yell out a whole preface before launching his shoe missiles before the secret service agents even got off of their chairs.
Do we have to establish a new rule describing the mean time towards Campbell Brown? I swear to god any subject involves Campbell Brown in ten posts or less. It’s like Godwinning, only prettier.
The Dana Perino story has not been fully told. (Cue gauzy lens filter and Barry White) She will have some wonderful anecdotes to share when she gets back to her true calling as an elementary-school teacher.
I was initially impressed by W.’s evasive moves, but he brought me back to earth by saying that the guy “just wanted to be on teevee”. Jesus, George, you are beyond hopeless.
kudzu: Probably the only reason why the guy is still alive. If he was only surrounded by Iraqis that Secret Service would have had their guns a-blazing. Lucky Ari was not still the press secretary. He could have passed for an Iraqi. Personally, I too am more concerned about Dana’s health than the president. I think she needs a thorough examination.
When shoes are outlawed, only outlaws will have shoes.
Also, I blame furries.
But…but…but most furries don’t even wear shoes!
jagorev: And not Dick Cheney doing his best Mr. Blonde impersonation?
Oh sure, take away people’s shoes in the presence of the president. They’ll be down to throwing feces and the shit will *really* hit the fan.
Besides, a shoe can be a deadly weapon. You don’t know where that shoe’s been.
Somebody else mentioned this, but bush actually did smile after dodging that first shoe, like he was so pleased with his reflexes, and hey, maybe the shoe-game is more fun than giving some boring ol’ press conference on… what country was this again that we bombed? oh yeah, the iraq.
This is just Bush cronyism eating itself. Think about it. I bet the SS guys are legacy inbred tards like W. They were probably all smoking dope in the bathroom when they heard the commotion. I am hoping for an extension of their “service” (watching out for the Bush family) after he leaves office.
Is there a great-hits video of George dodging shoes, goosing Angela Merkle, doing the funky chicken, and all the other droll things he has done to keep us in stitches over the past eight years?
I’d pay good money to see that, especially if it was narrated by…oh, I dare not say her name, but with that big old smile, she clearly knows who she is.
Frankly if the liberals didn’t remove a provision from the Patriot Act stating that “all journalists must wear foam flip flops in the presence of our leader” this would have never happened. I smell a long simmering shoe conspiracy.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
These SS guys are pretty smart, they stayed out of sight during the conference, and when the shoes went off they emerged immediately - but not in a rush, to stir panic - they remembered their training and knew the guy was out of ammo.
[Overheard in the Secret Service lunch room]
Agent 1: “Sooooo. Um? Would you take a bullet for the guy?”
Agent 2: “You’re kidding me, right?”
Too bad they weren’t shoerikans!
So much for the Secret Service vowing to “stop a bullet” for the President. They weren’t even willing to step in front of the world’s slowest projectile attack and risk a heel imprint on their faces…
gone are the halcyon days of penis helicopters, i guess.
http://wonkette.com/391872/flying-penis-invades-russian-political-scene
dannygutters: It’s just in his DNA to always compete, to never be caught out and take a direct hit, physically or in any abstract sense. It’s interesting to me that he was able to dodge so successfully, it bespeaks a constant state of alertness. For a guy who rarely exposes himself to uncontrolled environments, the fact that he’s so guarded says a lot.
Damn, I wish he’d caught one in the face to knock the snot out of him. Just, damn.
Hey, give the SS some credit. They got to the guy before he reached his socks.
It’s all a conspiracy to cover up the fact that there was a second shoe thrower on the grassy sole.
Deepthroat: Apparently, the CIA was wronger about Russia’s military buildup than I had been led to believe.
“A second day of rallies in support of Mr Zaidi were held across Iraq, calling for his release.”
“Meanwhile, offers to buy the shoes he threw are being made around the Arab world, reports say.”
I am praying SO hard for eBay right now.
Uncle Al: My very first thought upon seeing this was that Bush was totally expecting it.
Uncle Al: Perhaps he had a similar experience back in his frat days.
Poor man’s Asif Maanvi was about 7 feet away from Monkey in Chief, right? There’s really plenty of time to dodge a lightweight sandal from that distance. You would have to be the feeblest man alive not to at least be mostly missed by the first shoe. You would have to be John McCain.
Bush 41 would’ve at least barfed on the guy.
Please welcome President Lame W.—DUCK!
Obama will get fresh, competent SS right?
If only someone had made that doofus American Dodgeball Commissioner ten years ago.
THESE SHOES ARE MADE FOR THROWIN (the Ballad of Muntazer Al Zaidi (Sharp Shoe-ter))
(These Boots Are Made for Walikin-Nancy Sinatra)
WilliamBanzai7
SING ALONG LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OU7Nezg7Ls
You keep saying troops will soon be withdrawin.
Just like you said something about finding WMD, but confess.
You’ve been messin’ too long in IRAQ where you shouldn’t be a messin’
and now everyone is gettin’ shafted in the mother of all sorry messes.
These shoes are made for throwin, and that’s just what I’ll do
one of these days these Vibram Mocs are gonna get thrown right at you!
You keep lying, when you oughta be a truthin’
and you keep losin’ when you oughta not bet.
You keep samin’ when you oughta be changin’.
Now what’s right is right, but you ain’t been right yet.
These shoes are made for throwin, and that’s just what I’ll do
one of these days these Vibram Mocs are gonna get thrown right at you!
You keep playin’ Commander where you shouldn’t be playin
and you keep thinkin’ that your sorry legacy will never get burnt.
Ha! I just found me a brand new box of Timberlanders yeah
and what I know you ain’t HAD time to learn.
These shoes are made for throwin, and that’s just what I’ll do
one of these days these Vibram Mocs are gonna get thrown right at you!
Are you ready shoes? Start flyin’!
SEASONS GREETINGS TO ALL OF OUR ARMED SERVICE PERSONNEL
IN IRAQ AND AFGANISTAN
Turns out the shoe thrower was working from a pamphlet:
http://www.poopreading.com/2008/12/so_youve_decided_to_attack_a_world_leader/