Wonkette
This video is much like the first one except OMFG THE SEXUAL TENSION WITH MARY IS ASTRONOMICAL, so funny. [Velocity Store]
IT OFFICIALLY HAS BEEN 16 MINUTES NOW
Joe The Plumber’s Second Digital Teevee Commercial = Sexytime
Read More:
1:05 PM
on Mon December 15 2008
By
Jim Newell
2725 Views
Who?
Did Joe remember to lick the wires before touching them together?
wait, what is it that you do when you get the box? You op..open it??? I’m so confused!!!
…its just not the same without Trig.
with campbell brown smiling at me from the corner of wonkette all morning, EVERYTHING is just *full of sexual tension.
You’d think that now that Joe is a big star they could have bought him a non-plaid shirt to wear on the commercials. It looks like he slept in that.
He really is such a Renassiance man - he can do everything from talk politics with Walnuts, to fix your teevee, to have a blog.
I absolutely prefer looking at Cambell Brown that “Mary” in the commercial.
So it’s pronounced “Q-pon”?
Does anyone else find it offensive how often Campbell Brown says the N-word on the air? It’s like, Jesus Christ lady, we get it already.
Oh yeah, and Joe the Plumber is still Jeff Gannon.
I suspect though “Mary” wouldn’t do Joe, that’s why he’s a bit timid.
Anyone want to start a topic on Joe the Blog about this? AnglRdr are you out there?
Thanks, Joe the Handyman. What? Oh, that’s… that’s Joe the PLUMBER?? Oh, see, I was confused because I thought plumbers fixed toilets and stuff.
Oops, Joe forgot to scan for channels leaving millions of confused Americans that will be calling the FCC hotline on Feb 18th. He did use the NTIA tag line though; apply, buy, and try. He needs to try harder…
Fix my fucking toilet, Joe.
Shit Fire! Joe’s found a niche where he is the absolutely worst candidate in the entire world! He pushes the envelope of bad teleprompter past its known limits. Don’t quit your day job Joe, if you ever get one. What a douchenozzle.
The only reason for putting him on teevee is he looks like he’s always ready to punch some motherfucker in the face. So far he has yet to deliver, which means the plaid shirt is code for when he hits the highway rest stops.
Joe the Plumber — coming soon to a basement television studio near you.
Why is he looking off to the right most of the time? Who is he looking at? Is he looking at Manchucadidate? AngryBlakGuy? Nowirehangers? He’s not looking at me. I think he could learn a thing or two from Cambpell Brown.
Anyway, I didn’t really watch it all. Where’s the part where he says “And so next you insert the male RCA connector into the female plug” and she’s all like “Oooh, I like the sound of that.” And then they fuck?
Maybe Joe could go on TV and say something interesting, like whether he’s a relative of one of the main dudes from the Keating 5 scandal?
Meanwhile what the fuck is up with Campbell’s right hand?
Mary just sits there like a fuckdoll, I bet’s she’s horrible in the sack.
M: That sounds easy Joe, how do I ‘hook it up’?
J: I’ll show you…
…
J: And here’s the box…ah, uh, the uh converter…
As Joe scans the teleprompter through the opening, he seems constantly amazed that he’s able to read. Mary, too, can’t help but follow the text on the teleprompter with her eyeballs. Hopefully, someone off camera had a taser at the ready in case he lunged at her mid-sentence and tried to hump her leg.
I love you Campbell.
I’d love for Joe to be tasked with explaining the difference between interlaced analog NTSC-format video and the newer progressive codecs that are becoming the standard. Odds are he’d end up punching some motherfucker in the face.
I’d do Mary, but I’d totally have a relationship with Campbell.
JeffGoldblum:
…or Vic Mackey.
Oh shit, that was supposed to be the inside-my-head voice.
SayItWithWookies: TESTING
That was some hott, hott, hott action. All that screwing and pushing and pushing and screwing of male to female electronic equipment.
The best is how Joe once again does not look into the camera even once.
This is Scorsese’s best work since Good Fellas.
“..open up the box, everything you need is in here.” ” Here’s the box, uh, the converter.” ” ya screw that in or push it.” ” Now, give the juice.” “..take the plug here and put it in the end.” “Wow, that was easy, Joe.”
I hope Obama gets me as much munniez as he’s gotten Joe the Plumber.
“But Joe, how can I make MY head shiny?”
davesnothere: Give Joe a break, he’s staring at Campbell Brown.
I’ve been dreadfully worried about this transition (what if I can’t watch Fox News Sunday or Antiques Roadshow???) but knowing Joe’s steady hand is on the till makes me calm. Or maybe it’s just the Xanax.
egh. i’ve seen better sexual tension in elevators.
“You just screw it in — or push it, Mary”… Where have I heard that before?
http://image.blingee.com/images15/content/output/000/000/000/4b0/328704297_611930.gif
I’d hit it.
His name is Joe the Plumber, but he is not a plumber. So we must call him “Joe the tax evader.” That is the only thing we know of this man.
As Campbell Brown is on at the same time as Rachel Maddow in my area - let’s just say I’ll never be watching Brown.
(Sorry if someone has already pointed out this TV scheduling (cough cough) “conflict”, I’m just now logging on) Although, I would like to see Brown/Maddow in a debate challenge and the loser has to move to a different time slot. Still wouldn’t watch Brown though. This whole female host with “No bias, no bull” thing is to steal viewers from Maddow and it just ain’t gonna happen. I’ll bet Brown doesn’t have a PhD in political science, for starters.
I have been looking for a place to buy my vectorized speed, thank you velocitystore.com.
Joe, blah, blah, blah…
Now a word about Campbell. What the hell is up with the picture? Is it doctored, or was that Campbell at about 22?
Josephine the Welfare Queen, advising fellow rabbit-ear owners how to get a FREE HANDOUT from the guv’mint. Way to spread the wealth around, girl.
Fix my fucking toilet Joe the plumber, You’re an asslicking Cock sucker Joe the plumber.
shortsshortsshorts: We knows he sucks.
If this was 1982, Joe would totally have a guest spot on the Love Boat by now. As it is, he and John Bobbitt can go off and do tag-team porn.
This is SO like the community theater version of Videodrome, with blondy in the role of, er, Blondie. http://www.filmsquish.com/guts/?q=node/3267
Naked Bunny with a Whip: When the 4pm crash comes, hopefully our Wonketteers can post a fluff post discussing the relative merits of Mary and Campbell.
wouldn’t it be easier to just go out and buy a new fucking teevee?
and thank zeus the instructions are in chinese who probably would just make a new teevee to begin with rather than fucking with the converter box. now if it would just be translated into swahili the world will be safe and christmas will be saved!
shortsshortsshorts: ::::runs to cafepress.com and puts what shorts3 said on a t-shirt::::
Joe the Digital Converter Whore
Did he once say “read the instructions” during that video?
Suck it up, America, this is what happens when you let states like “Ohio” decide the presidency.
davesnothere: Say what you want, he could teach Palin a thing or two about public speaking.
Mary should have her analog breasts digital converted to D size, and then we’d be golden.
Vewol Mevemont: Ha! I was wondering when someone was going to mention that. I couldn’t believe it myself, when I first saw it. This is why you hire professional photographers, retouchers I guess. Anyway, there’s this thing called photoshop. Wish I looked like that in real life.
accidental_tourist: Two words: Ti Vo.
CNN. Weeknights. 8pm.
Joe’s either a short little fucker , or Mary is a serious amazon.
Gopherit: His baldness takes a few inches off the top, but Mary is an amazon sent to destroy us all, so there’s that…
Joe and Campbell:
http://image.blingee.com/images15/content/output/000/000/000/4b0/328786944_67876.gif
I’d tell both of them not to quit their day jobs but…oh well
Serolf Divad: He’s looking at Campbell brown– that’s why the sexual tension– not that two bit whore who can’t open the box.
Joe… and Mary… at Christmas time… it’s the second coming!
MoonshineJoe: I like the “Bork Bork Bork!” ad blocker. No more Campbell toe.
**sigh** I miss her already.
*Throws 17EEE Adidas at the bald cunt*
“Take that as my goodbye kiss, you shit-plunging dog!”
Someone buy his book. Dude only has one shirt!
I cant watch it. Could someone else judge it without looking at it and tell me what to think?
And yet we do not see Ned the Goatfucker demonstrating how to clean an Angora sweater.
rmontcal: Aren’t you amazed he can read? Aren’t we all? I thought he did a credible job reading off the prompter. If this were the 70s he’d be a shoo-in for the sports anchor slot on one of those tee vee channels in the 30s or 40s–you know, the weird dial, where the only way you got a signal was if you were next door to the channel.
So now Joe the unlicensed plumber is moonlighting as Joe the unlicensed cable guy. Or electrician. Or both. Whatever.
Bad acting, bad lighting, dirty goatee, dropping in on some random blond chick to “plug in the cable” - clearly he’s trying to position himself for a career in porn.
Campbell-on-CNN: …. your presence among us….
Campbell (if it is indeed you) — FLEE! FLEE! You have no frickin’ idea what a La Brea tar-pit trap of a time sink this is. Once you get he habit, it’s ALL OVER!! –your career, your unborn child, your LIFE… all wasted trolling through Wonkette for the next snark-fix. FLEE!
… and I ought to know….[sigh]
Am i the only one who went to the site and had both videos immediately start playing at the same time, talking over each other? It made me think the companies technical skills are doubtful
He looks more human than creepy lizard wing-nut gay Jeff Gannon. He will next appear in the new revival of the ‘King and I’ with fairy tale nanny patriot Peggy Noonan.
NYNYNY: yes, and it was freaky. luckily i am proof against their hypnotismapplybuytry….
Gopherit: Wait, isn’t that why WALNUTS! had him on the bus?
TGY: It’s coming soon - they’re having Joe work with him to get him ready.
HuddledMass: HuddledMass speaks truth. Heed his call. I am outdoors in subzero (centigrade) temps smoking cigarettes trying to get through today’s snark and I’m not even 1/8th of the way through! And I haven’t eaten my dinner yet and it’s late. But I admire you, Ms. Brown, for participating. Now perhaps I won’t be as hard on you for your appearance on the Daily Show. You know, the one where you promoted your new show, saying you’re going to put politicians’ feet to the fire, conveniently just at the end of Bush’s reign, not, you know, when we really NEEDED you, like before the Iraq War and all. Just sayin’. No bias, no bull, just in time for President Obama, 6-7 years too late for the American people.