Sad, rat-faced crookIt has been nearly a week and still the Illinois goofball Blagojevich forces his hapless toady, spokesman Lucio Guerrero, to say silly things to reporters like, “He has no plans of resigning today or tomorrow. He still signs bills as governor, and he wants to see details.” Ha ha ha everybody knows that the governor of Illinois does not “sign bills” or “see details,” because he is too busy holding billion-dollar auctions for Jesse Jackson Jr.’s Senate seat. And every time Guerrero says one of these foolish things, it just gives dumb bloggers more posts to write.

It didn’t help yesterday that Lisa Madigan, the very severely coiffed Illinois Attorney General, fueled speculation on Meet the Press that Blagojevich was going to resign. But then it turned out that she was just repeating terrible MEDIA RUMORS started by irresponsible news outlets like the Chicago Sun-Times.

If Blagojevich had any brains at all he would have resigned during the season finale of Survivor last night. Sunday news dump!

Resignation Is Rumored; Response Is a Firm ‘No’ [New York Times]

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  • p-Sludge ofTheElves

    He’s sick for attention. An no, nobody actually believes that he has Vitiligo. The writing was on the wall long before he bought the bones of Al Capone.

  • Borat

    Every day in power is another day to reap some profit.

    That Bank of America payoff is probably due any day now if the state resumes business with them.

  • BarthexDeRosa

    He wants to sign some goddamn bills, and see some fucking details.

  • dano

    If only some would tell me where I can find news analysis with no bias and/or no bull…oh wait..

  • Min

    Obviously, the hair ate his brain.

  • pondscum

    Not only was Lisa’s hair plastered to her head – in direct contrast to the governor’s, but those Transitions lenses have GOT TO GO! She usually looks pretty good on TV, but Sunday was damn scary.

  • Gopherit
  • Gopherit

    and that courtroom sketch artist shows signs of genius

  • Warren Terror

    Was the sad, rat-faced crook arraigned by the Virgin Mary?

  • WadISay

    Lady Blagojevich has not yet taken the dagger and done Rosencrantz and Gildenstern. This baby’s got another couple of acts yet.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Of course he’s not going to quit — he thinks he’s wildly popular. Why else would Chicago’s airport be named after him?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …when your approval rating falls within the margin of error, then its time to call it quits!

  • shanemcgowan claims that Campbell Brown is losing her hotness. Obviously whoever runs that site is not a Wonketteer.

  • Scarab

    He’s banking that no indictment will be able to spell his name right.

  • Mr Blifil

    By “see the details” I assume that means he has requested his staff get him the high resolution copies of all the goat-fucking photos they have in their posession.

  • actor212

    Blaggypants wants to resign. It’s his hair that’s stopping him.

  • Scarab

    Hey, if you turn you monitor upside down Campbell Brown becomes nude like on those novelty pens!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …is it me or does Blago have an uncanny resemblance to this guy?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    CAMPBELLS’s BROWNS! Why are you keeping my from being able to see the post, Ms. Brown? DO YOU HATE FREEDOM?

  • Scarab

    Really? It’s a big case, couldn’t we find a courtroom artist with just a little more talent?

  • shanemcgowan

    I just noticed the Bratz doll advertising “the World’s Greatest 3D Chat” on the left side of the page. She and Campbell make interesting bookends.

  • Mr Blifil

    That dude would be a total waste of a shoe.

  • Cape Clod

    Maybe some witches told him that he would remain Governor until Great Burnham Wood comes to Dunsinane.

  • Scarab


    I mean as long as they’re using sex to sell their news show why not be honest about it?

  • DemmeFatale

    I can cope with giantess Campbell Brown, but the flashing and blinking ads (especially Hot Mama) are giving me a headache! Can’t they be slowed down? Please?

  • Gopherit

    [re=198755]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Do not besmirch Guy Smiley that way. He’s still trying to get over the whole Big Bird and Guy in the hottub scandal.

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=198746]shanemcgowan[/re]: She was hotter with glasses. And all jiggly when bouncing through war zones in the back of a jeep.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=198766]Mr Blifil[/re]: Win.

  • bitchincamaro

    Has the rat sign gone back up in his alley?

  • monty

    not me i got a huuuuge campbell brown on one side and barry o tryin to sodomize a unicorn on the other

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Isn’t Campbell a boy’s name?

  • Campbell-on-CNN

    Here’s a tip on Blaggy: he’s going to resign, live, on my show. Weeknights, 8pm, CNN.

    He hasn’t picked a date yet, so I suggest you liveblog them all.

    Hugs n’ kisses.

  • p-Sludge ofTheElves

    Did anyone ever photoshop Hillary into one of those “Hot Mama 4 Obama” tee shirts? Because that would be fun. And humiliating. And fun.

  • Bowdoin

    Why is it every single comment on any stray point anywhere online brings to mind Campbell Brown? She is the Queen of the Blogs, obviously. And now I can’t even proofread this because it’s hidden behind a lifesize blowup doll of – you guessed it.

  • PrairiePossum

    I have a bill for Blaggy to sign.
    The legislature should pass a bill changing the title of the state’s chief executive from “Governor” to “That pompous, moronic, asshole.” If he vetoes the bill, override it.

  • p-Sludge ofTheElves

    [re=198780]monty[/re]: He’s doing that because she’s smiling. She’s smiling because he’s doing that. It’s a time-travel paradox ala “Somewhere in Time”.

  • Gopherit

    Can we enter campbell in for the Trucknutz calendar?

  • problemwithcaring

    There is still time to pay somebody to sweep this all under the rug.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=198792]Gopherit[/re]: Oh. My. God. Those women look like their fucking 15 year’s old. I had no idea that Truck NUTZ was registered on Megan’s Law.

  • S.Luggo

    Blago will be gone once he learns that Chicago’s Serbian consulate is in the parking lot of the perogie factory on North Central.

  • SmilingMightyJesus

    When did Herb Tarlek leave WKRP?

  • cal

    [re=198755]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Guy Smiley is an icon of journalistic integrity.

  • Jollity

    [re=198728]Min[/re]: The hair is his brain.

  • The Church of Realism

    [re=198795]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Nothing opens doors like having Truck Nutz Girl of the Month on your resume.

  • CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us

    [re=198728]Min[/re]: That’s not hair– it’s Dirty Sanchez’s pussy.

  • RabidHamster

    [re=198792]Gopherit[/re]: I think I’ve seen at least half those women on TSG’s “Mugshots of the Week.”

  • Falcon

    If you think this is bad you should check this out. In Mississippi the lobby capital of the world don’t expect any justice from the courts if you are involved in a lawsuit. That money is being taken so the courts can place their personal choice in office. After the loss of our home damages and injuries which was suppose to have kill us the circuit court and our attorney settled 276 million and sought billions of a corporate act to dispose of toxins that failed as it landed on our home in a rural area. Lawyers and the judge created a fraudulent class action to join ours that trial failed placing the total of awards on my family. We received nothing. All pro se request for relief denied. Judge has since became state supreme court judge and attorney became state senator as my family was left for dead. Whistle Blowing Documents are being silenced by state power and countless threats to be silent. DOCUMENTS @ Liberty or Death

  • PJ

    [re=198792]Gopherit[/re]: Wow. Before I saw those calendar girls, I had no idea that a bathtub was an exotic locale where one posed in a bathing suit.


  • orestek

    [re=199767]PJ[/re]: This interview with Blagojevich is over the top!

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