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Sad, rat-faced crookIt has been nearly a week and still the Illinois goofball Blagojevich forces his hapless toady, spokesman Lucio Guerrero, to say silly things to reporters like, “He has no plans of resigning today or tomorrow. He still signs bills as governor, and he wants to see details.” Ha ha ha everybody knows that the governor of Illinois does not “sign bills” or “see details,” because he is too busy holding billion-dollar auctions for Jesse Jackson Jr.’s Senate seat. And every time Guerrero says one of these foolish things, it just gives dumb bloggers more posts to write.

It didn’t help yesterday that Lisa Madigan, the very severely coiffed Illinois Attorney General, fueled speculation on Meet the Press that Blagojevich was going to resign. But then it turned out that she was just repeating terrible MEDIA RUMORS started by irresponsible news outlets like the Chicago Sun-Times.

If Blagojevich had any brains at all he would have resigned during the season finale of Survivor last night. Sunday news dump!

Resignation Is Rumored; Response Is a Firm ‘No’ [New York Times]

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49 COMMENTS

  1. Not only was Lisa’s hair plastered to her head – in direct contrast to the governor’s, but those Transitions lenses have GOT TO GO! She usually looks pretty good on TV, but Sunday was damn scary.

  2. By “see the details” I assume that means he has requested his staff get him the high resolution copies of all the goat-fucking photos they have in their posession.

  3. I just noticed the Bratz doll advertising “the World’s Greatest 3D Chat” on the left side of the page. She and Campbell make interesting bookends.

  4. I can cope with giantess Campbell Brown, but the flashing and blinking ads (especially Hot Mama) are giving me a headache! Can’t they be slowed down? Please?

  5. Here’s a tip on Blaggy: he’s going to resign, live, on my show. Weeknights, 8pm, CNN.

    He hasn’t picked a date yet, so I suggest you liveblog them all.

    Hugs n’ kisses.

  6. Why is it every single comment on any stray point anywhere online brings to mind Campbell Brown? She is the Queen of the Blogs, obviously. And now I can’t even proofread this because it’s hidden behind a lifesize blowup doll of – you guessed it.

  7. I have a bill for Blaggy to sign.
    The legislature should pass a bill changing the title of the state’s chief executive from “Governor” to “That pompous, moronic, asshole.” If he vetoes the bill, override it.

  8. [re=198780]monty[/re]: He’s doing that because she’s smiling. She’s smiling because he’s doing that. It’s a time-travel paradox ala “Somewhere in Time”.

  9. [re=198792]Gopherit[/re]: Oh. My. God. Those women look like their fucking 15 year’s old. I had no idea that Truck NUTZ was registered on Megan’s Law.

  10. If you think this is bad you should check this out. In Mississippi the lobby capital of the world don’t expect any justice from the courts if you are involved in a lawsuit. That money is being taken so the courts can place their personal choice in office. After the loss of our home damages and injuries which was suppose to have kill us the circuit court and our attorney settled 276 million and sought billions of a corporate act to dispose of toxins that failed as it landed on our home in a rural area. Lawyers and the judge created a fraudulent class action to join ours that trial failed placing the total of awards on my family. We received nothing. All pro se request for relief denied. Judge has since became state supreme court judge and attorney became state senator as my family was left for dead. Whistle Blowing Documents are being silenced by state power and countless threats to be silent. DOCUMENTS @ http://www.mftms13.wordpress.com Liberty or Death

  11. [re=198792]Gopherit[/re]: Wow. Before I saw those calendar girls, I had no idea that a bathtub was an exotic locale where one posed in a bathing suit.

    BATHTUB NUTZ!

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