ARSON!  8:55 am December 15, 2008

Sarah Palin’s Church Got Burnted

by Sara K. Smith

She will start going to church here now, in the dumpsterThe Wasilla Bible Church was attacked by fire monsters on Friday night and suffered a million dollars’ worth of damage. Police think an arsonist set the fire. Sarah Palin apologized if the arson was related to people hating her for running for Vice President. Wait, what? Some people don’t like Sarah Palin? [AP]

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 63 comments }

Rosalindavenue December 15, 2008 at 9:02 am

The impact of the funny tattoo parlor/dumpster photo is blunted when you see the actual photos of the “church,” which is/was much less architecturally impressive than the tattoo parlor. Here’s a bigger one than the AP story has: http://tinyurl.com/62jx8s

Borat December 15, 2008 at 9:08 am

My garage looks nicer than that church. What could have costed $1m or is this some Snowbilly money making game:
1) collect on insurance (they burned the Picasso!)
2) move church to other location to put more lucrative table dancing bar in its place. And by lucrative I mean fees for ‘facilitating’ the license
3) slushy rebuilding contracts

Or it just could be some way of persecuting the gayz.

Bypartizoa December 15, 2008 at 9:08 am

“undeserved negative attention”

Still playing the victim.

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 15, 2008 at 9:10 am

Holy smoke!

Please don’t ban me.

Formerly Preferred December 15, 2008 at 9:10 am

Arson is terrible, and it’s especially bad with people in the building.

You know what else is terrible? This giant picture of Campbell Brown, judging me with her dead eyes.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla December 15, 2008 at 9:10 am

Please make Campbell Brown stop staring at me.

Gopherit December 15, 2008 at 9:12 am

When are they going to announce the point of origin as one of Palin’s Marlboros?

Personally, I blame the Inuits. They are the worst anti-Xtian bigots ever.

Serolf Divad December 15, 2008 at 9:14 am

Campbell Brown is encroaching on my Wonkette commenter’s space. Can’t we exile her to Wasilla to cover the church bruning?

Spackle Camshaft Palin December 15, 2008 at 9:15 am

Guys, leave Giant Mecha-Campbell Brown alone.

Mostly because she will cook us all alive with those scary laser eyes if threatened.

CrunchyKnee December 15, 2008 at 9:15 am

[re=198471]Gopherit[/re]: Plus, according to the teevee they have never had a Burger King Whooper. Damn, un-american, frozen muslins.

slithytoves December 15, 2008 at 9:16 am

I’m sorry – there isn’t enough room on this site for Campbell Brown and me.

Mr Blifil December 15, 2008 at 9:18 am

Perhaps someone in the inner circle torched the place to distract from the fact that her daughter’s questionable pregnancy hasn’t yet borne fruit.

Mr Blifil December 15, 2008 at 9:19 am

[re=198472]Serolf Divad[/re]: WTF is wrong with you? She’s CAMPBELL FRIKKIN’ BROWN. Be a nice person and bow like the rest of us.

Totowa December 15, 2008 at 9:20 am

Maybe it was God’s wrath striking his flaming finger down on Sarah for all of her evil doings. God was known for his antics with arson.

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 15, 2008 at 9:20 am

it’s especially bad with people in the building.

It’s also especially unlikely, seems to me. Probably a 40-year-old oil heater set that tinderbox ablaze.

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 15, 2008 at 9:21 am

I keep touching Campbell’s breasts. I hope she doesn’t sue me. It’s totally by accident.

Serolf Divad December 15, 2008 at 9:23 am

[re=198473]Spackle Camshaft Palin[/re]:

And, you know, the thing about Campbell Brown… she’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When she comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until she bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin’ and the hollerin’, she comes on in and she… rips you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don’t know how many times she came, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain’s mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist. Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us… he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened… waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and Campbell Brown took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

BarthexDeRosa December 15, 2008 at 9:23 am

Dear Sarah, I’m sorry John McCain burned your church down. I still think you’re the real deal. XOXOX J the P

shanemcgowan December 15, 2008 at 9:23 am

I still miss SWIM girl.

yourwildhorses December 15, 2008 at 9:30 am

Is it bad that I find this a little bit funny?

splittter December 15, 2008 at 9:31 am

I’d just like to say that I was out of town when this arson occurred.

p-Sludge ofTheElves December 15, 2008 at 9:34 am

Sarah K. Smith, is that you, an hallucination/hologram in my living room? Wow! oh ok I guess it’s just CNN’sCB in my browser. Honestly I didn’t know my screen was that large. I’m pretty impressed with my laptop just now, staring at the lifesize blow-up doll.

proudcitizen December 15, 2008 at 9:34 am

WTF? $1 Million dollars worth of damage. Who’s kidding who? That building looks like an abandon USAF weather station from the ’50s before the Air Force decided it was too cruel to send airmen there for 6 months at a time.

Cape Clod December 15, 2008 at 9:36 am

Oh when is the persecution of white fundamentalists Christians going to stop?
Except for the Jews, black southern Baptists, Russian Orthodox, Greek Orthodox, Buddists, Hindus, Protestants and Catholics, indigenous peoples and Muslims, they have suffered more than anyone else for their faith.

snideinplainsight December 15, 2008 at 9:39 am

I blame furries.

Serolf Divad December 15, 2008 at 9:39 am

[re=198489]proudcitizen[/re]:

I think that’s the street value of the meth they were brewing in the sacristy.

Bypartizoa December 15, 2008 at 9:43 am

In regard to the giant Campbell Brown picture, thank you for answering my prayers.

Theodorick Of York December 15, 2008 at 9:44 am

[re=198482]Serolf Divad[/re]:
Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Campbells in the water. Our Campbell.

hedgehog December 15, 2008 at 9:47 am

How does someone yell “fire” while speaking in tongues?

finallyhappy December 15, 2008 at 9:55 am

[re=198491]Cape Clod[/re]: Yes, the hideousness of the war on Christmas! My office floor in a federal agency has so many decorations it looks like we are one of those year round Christmas stores. The only thing missing is an actual Santa and a christmas model train set-up but there are still two weeks left so I can only hope.

Min December 15, 2008 at 9:56 am

Maybe it got burned, because it’s one ugly-ass church building. Doesn’t anyone build pretty churches anymore?

Formerly Preferred December 15, 2008 at 10:10 am

[re=198501]Bypartizoa[/re]: No soup for you. Campbell is married. How can I tell? This GIANT PICTURE of her clearly shows a wedding/engagement ring about the size of my head on her left hand.

TheMac December 15, 2008 at 10:12 am

I’m looking at YOU, Nigerian witch-doctor exorcist!

Terry December 15, 2008 at 10:13 am

[re=198480]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]:

Or the unhappy 14 yr old son of one of the church deacons or whatever they call them there.

Terry December 15, 2008 at 10:20 am

[re=198509]hedgehog[/re]:

“υπάρχει φωτιά”

Mustang December 15, 2008 at 10:25 am

[re=198468]Formerly Preferred[/re]: I can’t decide whether to throw shoes at Campbell or burn her church. Actually, it’s probably best not to show her any attention. Media whore loooooove attention of any kind.

Toomush Infermashun December 15, 2008 at 10:28 am

I love it, Sarah! Now I can apologize if any of my thoughts about seeing you eaten by a moose contributed to the failure of your presidential aspirations….

TGY December 15, 2008 at 10:31 am

How can you torch an igloo?

Also, Campbell Brown is hobobeans for blogs: a sign of rough times and sole searching or eating, anyway. Mmmmm, shoes. It’s a proud moment when a journalist, faced with the choice of eating his shoes or throwing them at the powers that be, heaves them with force and vigor, making the supreme gustatory sacrifice.

Uh, what was the question?

Toomush Infermashun December 15, 2008 at 10:31 am

I’m sorry… we do know for a fact that witches did this….

Texan Bulldoggette December 15, 2008 at 10:35 am

Per Greta’s blog, CNN is laying massive #s of people off. Should they be spending their precious, limited resources advertising on Wonkette?!

SayItWithWookies December 15, 2008 at 10:43 am

Somebody check Ashley Todd’s Twitter feed.

TheMac December 15, 2008 at 10:46 am

Why did someone carve a O-backwards-B on the sign on the church and smudge the windows with cheap eyeshadow?

gurukalehuru December 15, 2008 at 10:54 am

Where’s Levi? I hear he has a history of this sort of thing.

Also, if CNN chooses to pay to put the image of the extremely attractive Campbell Brown on these fair pages, I’ve no particular objection, even if she is married to a neo-nazi piece of shit. But does CNN actually know what goes on here, or have they somehow mistaken us for a credible site?

FMAZ!

elburrito December 15, 2008 at 10:56 am

How does the comments bar feel on your nipples, Campbell Brown? Feels good, doesn’t it. You like it when I type over them? Oh yeah. You smile for me, Campbell Brown!

Miller December 15, 2008 at 11:00 am

There is a 50/50 chance that this was a meth lab explosion, right? Wasilla will try to blame it on liberal witches and call up Bobby Jindal for an exorcism, but we all know how Wasilla raises money…and it ain’t bake sales.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

AngryBlakGuy December 15, 2008 at 11:20 am

…Bill Ayers?!

trondant December 15, 2008 at 11:46 am

My money’s on Sean Hannity masturbating over a pile of oily rags in the basement.

ca-jay December 15, 2008 at 11:46 am

hey, what’s with the HUGE campbell brown all over the page? she’s inescapable, too, i can’t scroll her away. mrgh…

Mahousu December 15, 2008 at 11:57 am

You know, with the position of this comment box, it’s like I’m typing directly into Campbell Brown’s vagina. I hope she doesn’t mind too much.

tootsieroll December 15, 2008 at 12:24 pm

[re=198496]Serolf Divad[/re]: FTW!

dhuff December 15, 2008 at 1:13 pm

So why, when it’s a liberal church that burns, is it labeled an “Act of God” ? But when one full of scary, conservative wingnuts gets it, it’s “arson” ?

[oh, and bring on the giant Campbell Brown photos! Yum! ;) ]

DeLand DeLakes December 15, 2008 at 1:32 pm

So the fire was started while a group of church ladies were “working on crafts?” OH SWEET JESUS SAVE THE GOD’S EYES!!!!!

DeLand DeLakes December 15, 2008 at 1:33 pm

[re=198465]Borat[/re]: And Palin will be the first to slap on the tassels for Jeebus.

Makeithurt December 15, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Somebody tell Campbell Brown to get some lips or something. God, what an insufferable twat!

Anyway, it was the fire of the Holy Spirit being poured out on the rebornigans. Too bad they weren’t in there at the time to share in the holy conflagration.

glamourdammerung December 15, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Maybe it was a relative of one of the witches they murdered/assaulted in Africa? Or a pathetic cry for attention from the professional victims of the GOP?

youngpalinfan December 15, 2008 at 3:17 pm

It is SICK the way you people are acting! This is a church. A place for worshipping God. It does not matter if it doesn’t look any better than the tattoo shop. Any place that God is worshipped is beautiful in His eyes. I think you hobos are all sittin’ around wishin’ you were Sarah! You are all jealous and from that stems hatred for a woman who shouldn’t be hated by anyone. God bless Sarah Palin and her wondeful family! I don’t know why you all act like this. It’s a crying shame!

ZombieRichardFeynman December 15, 2008 at 3:48 pm

[re=199107]youngpalinfan[/re]: Decent troll attempt, but you need to add lots of CAPS LOCK and plenty of misspellings. Nice job on dropping the gerunds, though.

Borat December 15, 2008 at 5:35 pm

[re=198496]Serolf Divad[/re]: Win. I forgot the meth lab angle. Knowin’ Wasilla, you probably can’t get prosecuted for that – claiming sanctity or some such. (Just try that line of arguement in Iraq)

DeLand DeLakes December 15, 2008 at 5:43 pm

[re=199107]youngpalinfan[/re]: HAHAHAHAHA give it up you are Bill Kristol. And we all know that you are not young, you are a fat, saggy, sweating Christmas ham.

Grimnir December 15, 2008 at 8:50 pm

[re=198468]Formerly Preferred[/re]: I’m with you Campbell Brown loses the jacket or she gets pushed to the bottom of the page, imo.

Grimnir December 15, 2008 at 8:55 pm

[re=199107]youngpalinfan[/re]: Why must you persecute the Hobos? Do homeless people make you think of bad people? Because otherwise your use of the term hobo in reference to those of us on this board makes no sense. Perhaps you should learn to love the hobos and not use their name in vain my good youngpalinfan.

My theory is they burned the church to pay for the clothes that Palin and Bristol bought on the congregation’s credit cards after being invited to an event that she is now claiming her kids were “working at”.

Either that or the people in the church were “Cooking” some special ingredients for the weekends sermon… Wasilla Deluxe

villageatrois December 16, 2008 at 3:10 am

Bristol’s baby is due December 20, Saturday. I’m sure she and Levi Johnston coulda got a wedding done this week, if only the friggin church hadn’t got burnded. And now the christening may have to be moved back until hockey season is over and the church rebuilded back up again. Betcha they call the child “Puck”, or “Hatrick” if it’s a girl.

Bearbloke December 18, 2008 at 2:39 am

Bookburning – it’s always fun until someone loses a church….

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