Wonkette
Hello, jobless hordes of the D.C. metropolitan area! Would you like to sell extremely unofficial Inaugural Postcards of our new Shark God, Mr. President Obama? Well good! First, of course, you will need to come up with the cash to buy these things, Wholesale, and then you will easily be able to sell them Retail for, uh, $2.75. Just two dollars and seventy-five cents, for a postcard with one of several weird designs.
Here’s the Craigslist ad, spotted by longtime Wonkette Operative Charles Watson:
Obama Inaugural Postcards - Wholesalers Wanted (DC, Virginia, Maryland)
Reply to: xxxxxx@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-12, 11:56AM ESTActively seeking wholesalers for a complete line of professionally designed Barack Obama Inaugural Postcards and Memorabilia. We will supply the high quality 12pt coated cards, many with foil stamping, along with a counter top display. Wholesale pricing is based upon the total quantity purchased. The cards retail for $2.75 ea. Call Rob at the number below or email me your contact info to rob@obamans.com. I will send you a full color wholesale order guide along with an order form.
There is no way this system can fail. Just do whatever you can, get the money, somehow — sell your mom’s car? — and buy all of these magical cards. Plus, they come with a free “counter stand,” for your park bench.
Obama Inaugural Postcards [Craigslist]
I just sold my mother’s TV at Coney Island for money for smack. This seems like a great deal.
The Obama presidency will be one giant Amway scam. Good job voting for him, losers!
Mmmmm… foil stamping. I will trade an entire uncirculated set of third-edition Garbage Pail Kids for this.
This is so paultarded it JUST HAS TO WORK!
Does it come with free TruckNutz to decorate the ‘counter stand’? I mean there’s going to be a jillion vendors there; gotta make yours stand out somehow.
Yeah, but Dwight Schrutte has the market cornered on Princess Unicorn dolls, so…. whatevah.
I’m telling my boss to kiss my ass first thing Monday morning. Then i’ll say “two words mofo - post cards!”
My mother has a ‘94 Buick Regal with a bad water pump. I don’t think I can get $2.75 for it. Any takers? It *does* have new seat covers, however.
Our new Shark God? we all know he was spawned by Thor,The Spice Girls,Minerva, and Pele!
Anyone tells you different hates the buttsex.
http://obamans.com/temporary.htm
There’s a special place in hell for those graphic designers.
I’ve got it! The bestest Obama souvenir of all time! It’s…wait for it…
HOPE ON A ROPE!
Thenkew. Thenkew.
By my calculations…we should be able to make about 4 million dollars.
No lamer that that Hot Mama for Obama tee flashing annoying on the left of my screen.
I bought a couple of the post cards…….now I’m saving my money and selling my plasma so I can complete my collection!!
Besides state pardons, the governor of Illinois is selling a doll-sized version of himself. Depending how much money you stuff in its ear, it either calls you a cheap mommy-humper or appoints you US Senator. The doll is is called, “Bribe Me Blaggo”. Available at all retails stores now!
gjdodger: I’m down with the “Hope on a Rope” idea. It’s brilliant. You can sell the rope for $5.00 an inch. Low investment-High return. And you can sell out of your cardboard box house on any street corner. Win Win!
Is there really money in this? ‘Cause I’ve got about a dozen Obama and Obama/Biden buttons I might start selling, so… make an offer. Bidding starts at $10,000. First come, first served.
I think these would go over well:
http://www.thepeoplescube.com/images/KG3/BFH_BarackDoll.jpg
No more biting the pillow merely dreaming of Barack…
Delicious: I will indeed “lose my juice” when he prosecutes war crimes!
Is that really how conservatives talk? It’s like they are still trying to mimic normal human speech patterns.
Nobama!
Buy my exciting anti-inauguration protest postcard!
http://i33.tinypic.com/103hesk.jpg
wheelie: Nice job! You’ve got your finger on America’s pulse!
I’ll take two gross! But, ah… my Discover Card is a little bit maxed out right now. I can give you a check…
gjdodger: Someone linked to this - what feels like years ago - but here you ho: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_3&listing_id=18486646
Larry McAwful: Thank you! I will accept potatoes as hard currency. Send now and receive a complimentary gift item (copy of Alan Keyes’ autobiography, unopened.)
american mutt: The campaign is trying to race the street hustlers to the declasse bottom though. Plouff sent an email about a commemorative Obama calendar last week and one for a cheesy-ass Obama beanie yesterday. They are now fully embracing the fundraising strategies of the crazy man who smells of dog urine and sells bracelets near the Metro.
Keram2: That’s funny, cause I just got sodomized with a double-sided dildo along with some chick in front of a room full of old, rich business men….for smack….yeah smack.
Maybe we can auction off car parts too, and put the money towards reviving the auto industry the wizards in charge ran into the ground!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2008/12/in-true-auto-industry-fashion-bailout.html
Bah. Buy my Obama logo earrings instead. They’re handmade and priced to move, move, MOVE!
http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/axmxz
Get Billy Mays to sell ‘em. He can get people to buy oyster-flavored ice cream.
I am gonna sell Obama pipes, strictly for tobacco, mind you.
Screens cost extra.
unicorn rides around dupont circle…$50, cheap.
too bad i spent all my money on the commemorative plate…
I’m too broke to buy anything, which means now would be a good time to learn how to meditate except that’s really fucking expensive too.
for-the-turnstiles.blogspot.com
problemwithcaring: Rats. I’ll have to go back to my fallback, sure thing money maker–”Rev. Wright’s Greatest Blasphemies.”
El Bombastico: I have some of those and two unopened boxes of desert storm cards, too
ForTheTurnstiles:
In the twilight of the Republican consumer economy, the plate’s brilliance will make your last steaming ladle of George Bush dumpster dive, hobo stew taste like, dare I whisper, … food.
At least in Zimbabwe, where neither calories nor protein content count.
Yet, I am not bitter.
Sweet! I’m endeavoring to purchase Barack Obama HIMSELF with Sluggo’s proceeds of the blaggo doll. I think that with enough tenacity I can parachute him into the inaugeration where he will in fact appoint Blaggo himself to serve under Bill Ayers as Senator of Illinois.
ONE MORE THING:
Does the money made by the Obaman retard go towards the research that WE ALL CARE ABOUT, that of finding out if Obama is in fact a British citizen or not?
I hope it does, because when I spend tons of zero $$$$$$$$$$$’s on the website, I want to be assured it didn’t go to a good cause.
DangerousLiberal: What are you talking about…oh, are you one of the few who is NOT sexdeprived in this slumpy-ass economy. Hmmm…Probably. The rest of us hard working white, lower-middle class, out of jobbers come to Wonkette for that advertisement alone. Forget you!
Actually, the timing of this product is puuuuuuurfect for a certain someone. Blaggy could by a bunch of these cards, proceed to stuff them up his ass, then sell them for cigarettes and the rights to be the King Drugtrafficker in his new home. No really, rather than having to earn any credit, he could just walk in with a buttload. It’s genius.
Blago should go down there and charge people to take a picture with him (extra if you want to touch his hair). He could wipe out his debt in less than a week.
when i was a kid i sent away for the Obama seed packs. Then I went around the neighborhood trying to sell the Obama seeds to people but they didn’t want them so my mom had to pay the company for them and I never sold enuf Obama seeds to get a bike. But eventually the few people who bought them grew the tiny seeds in their gardens and the little Obamas snuck out of the acorn-patches at night. nighty night zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I’d just like to take this opportunity to say that the Time-Life Barack Obama Picture Book that I won in a Wonkette Contest netted me $35 on teh EBAYs.
It could have been purchased brand new from Amazon for $20.
The cards must be priced for the hyper-inflation we expect to have in the next 5 weeks.
Has anyone emailed this ‘moran’?
LET’S TALK ABOUT BLIGHT.
So. I am drunk. And when ya know drunk folks start doing their DRUNK RANTINGS after being places where they serve sinful BEVERAGES, you must forgive them because being drunk is an excuse for everything, even murdering the pope.
HOWEVER, I must wit to you folks about Detroit. I mean that place way up there in the Klammoth North of the midwest, where dreams are dead and reality is biologically destroying the remains of those dreams on the “nature” (WHICH IS WHY WE MUST DESTROY TEH NATURE STUFFF) front.
Detroit is an abomination to the American Dream, as it represents the American Dream through the auto industry and manufacturing, watch what happened when we started Panda Bear Diplomacy (I know it sounds rad) under Nixon. 1.6 million of us assfucks lived there 50 years ago, er something, compared with 900,000 in these days. Please look at a comparative map between Detroit then and Detroit now. You MAY notice that Detroit is a desolate wasteland full of “humans” who actually “live” in such blight, and for that, we should send all of them Outback Steakhouse fucking gift cirtificates or something to the people stuck in that crock of shit. Have a nice weekend if you actually type in things like “West Detroit” or “South Detroit” or “Detroit Blight” into your youtube googles. One of you might know what an “urban prairie” is, and that would give me hope for humanity.
That is all.
I think it’s a great idea! 1 million+, historic moment. That’s a no brainer. I will email him and let you know.
shortsshortsshorts: I’m forwarding your well-crafted observations to the WSJ. Princess Peggy may just be out of a job, since I have created translator software for Noonian.
“Whilst giddily befuddled by a snifter of Glen Harridan….”
Professionally designed cards are much more gooder than teh other kind of designs
Senator Bateman: That was you???!
AxmxZ: Umm ZERO bids for all your merchandise. I know the hobo economy is tough, but you out to move into the postcard business. Or if you have some hot Pixxx, then that’s good online too (provided you’re in a city that still allows p0rn on the internets)
Well, if they’re professionally designed then they really cannot fail, can they? Beware amateurish imitations!
they are pretty ghastly. Is this site connected to the campaign or administration in any way?
Borat: Why you gotta bust balls?
Talked to the guy a few hours ago. Seems nice and the wholesale price was pretty cheap. I’m gonna buy a couple thousand. What the hell!
AxmxZ: Its OK, no one is buying my VHS tapes or film based camera on ebay either. your earrings probably have a better shot of selling on the 20th than my crap.
WonkaBee: Not connected. I think Carrie Fisher designed them.
wheelie: Okay, thanks. Say, if I send the payment late enough, I don’t have to take the Keyes book, right?
I visited my favorite third world shopping mall today, AKA the Orlando Flea Market.
Several vendors offered the same framed poster with a poor B&W picture of the new POTUS along wih the date of the election, kinda cheesy IMO.
Only one vendor had T shirts, they featured a picture of the new First Family!
First time I have seen them.
If I still had a job, and a bit of extra money in my pocket, I’d have bought one.
I did buy some fresh tomatoes and some cheap rice, a ‘new depression’ feast.
Now I’m off to search for some fresh road kill to go with the tomatoes and rice.
God bless us, each and every one.