ZAT YOU SANTA CLAUS?  1:12 pm December 12, 2008

Santa Claus Palling Around With Marxists

by Ken Layne

Secret Marxist?!Look at this creep, with his terrorist beard. His name is legion, or “Sinter Klass,” which means Karl Marx, because this is a photograph of the grave of the unrepentant Marxist, Karl Marx. Even his name is Marxist. An Australian person has written these words: “First, Father Christmas is a dead ringer for the Father of Communism. Second, he dresses top-to-bottom in red! Third, the whole idea of Father Christmas reindeering and sleighing around the world with a giant sack full of presents shrieks of commie propaganda.” [Australian]

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Hola wonkerados.

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shortsshortsshorts December 12, 2008 at 1:14 pm

After reading the linked article, I am completely dumbfounded at the idea of Australians having a tangible sense of humor, and therefore take the article seriously.

jodyleek December 12, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Ho, Ho, Ho Chi Minh.

One Yield Regular December 12, 2008 at 1:18 pm

I had no idea Bill O’Reilly spoke Australian.

Bowdoin December 12, 2008 at 1:19 pm

It was a difficult case to make, but one said somewhere Marx was no Marxist! See, him and that Other One, Engels, had a paper in London, which was a safe site back then for Marxism. Anyway, the pressmen and copy boys on the Marx News thought they needed more than Marx was offering in wages and benefits, so they set upon a strike as a remedy, in keeping with, “WORKERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR JOBS!”

They didn’t read the second part of that there Communist Manifesto. Marx kicked every one of the troublemakers out into the street and hired new serfs at the same wages. The end.

cal December 12, 2008 at 1:21 pm

[re=197431]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Seconded.

Serolf Divad December 12, 2008 at 1:21 pm

That’s not Santa, that the giant flying rock head from Zardoz!

slithytoves December 12, 2008 at 1:23 pm

[re=197440]Serolf Divad[/re]: Someone else who saw that movie!

Borat December 12, 2008 at 1:23 pm

Does this mean the The War on Christmas is a War Against Communism? Now that’s something Fox News needs to get behind

V572625694 December 12, 2008 at 1:23 pm

Aussies are the world’s heaviest binge drinkers. In fact, the term “binge” is really not correct, if, like most Australians, you’re drunk all the time you’re awake. Gday, indeed!

Theodorick Of York December 12, 2008 at 1:30 pm

[re=197440]Serolf Divad[/re]:
Zardoz is pleased.

Dildo Baggins December 12, 2008 at 1:35 pm

I notice the Aussie says “Karl HEINRICH Marx.” Notice how similar it is “Barack HUSSEIN Obama”!

Kev-O-Tron December 12, 2008 at 1:36 pm

[re=197431]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Australians are only funny in that “funny accent” kind of way. Anytime I meet one all I can think about is Russell Crowe in Romper Stomper and that makes me exceedingly uncomfortable.

Joey Ratz December 12, 2008 at 1:40 pm

Someone needs to give the guys and gals at Free Republic and RedState this link. They’ll eat this shit right up.

slavojzizek December 12, 2008 at 1:40 pm

[re=197436]Bowdoin[/re]: Actually, Marx himself once said ‘All I know is that I am not a Marxist’ to some pest who always wanted to know what his opinion on everything was.

facehead December 12, 2008 at 1:40 pm

Ken Layne reveals the hidden truth: The “war on christmas” is the continuation of the cold war.

The Station Manager December 12, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Phillip Adams is indeed a satirist, but the fact that I had to look it up really does say something about the state of Right Wing punditry.

Anonymous Office Zombie December 12, 2008 at 1:42 pm

the grave of the unrepentant Marxist, Karl Marx. Even his name is Marxist.

Kudos. That was LoL-worthy.

Not only have I seen Zardoz, I own it on DVD. Easily one of the top 10 insanely bad movies of all time, right up there with Battlefield Earth and Flash Gordon.

Servo December 12, 2008 at 1:43 pm

Kenny Rogers’ Communist Roasters.

The Cold Sea December 12, 2008 at 1:44 pm

Australians and Alabamians are one in the same. Separated by distance and accent, but of the same loins. A redneck, cracker Alabamian = a redneck, cracker Australian. Although, the Australians are more fun since they drink instead of pray to Jeebus nonstop about teh gay while getting pegged by wifey.

Gopherit December 12, 2008 at 1:54 pm

[re=197440]Serolf Divad[/re]: If there aren’t guns flying out of the mouth, it ain’t from Zardoz

slithytoves December 12, 2008 at 1:54 pm

[re=197462]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: I own it, too, and I’d have to think about which one of my “D” sci-fi movies is the worst, but I think Flash Gordon is one of the funniest. Batlefield Earth, eh.

SayItWithWookies December 12, 2008 at 1:55 pm

“From each according to the elves’ toil, to each according to his Christmas list.” Does that mean Hank Paulson’s a Marxist? Oh, wait, it does.

whore4hope December 12, 2008 at 1:56 pm

From each according to his naughtiness; to each according to his niceness.

tunamelt December 12, 2008 at 1:56 pm

[re=197452]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I think of frozen face Nicole Kidman. And move my eyebrows in spite.

FreshCliches December 12, 2008 at 1:59 pm

[re=197475]whore4hope[/re]: WIN.

j6n December 12, 2008 at 2:07 pm

Of course Santa is a communist. All children are born communist. It’s the original sin. That’s why they must be saved and learn to be consumers by watching Sprout 8 hours a day. When they come of age, they forget about Santa Clause and gain a new hero, Joe the Plumber. So it is written, somewhere.

user-of-owls December 12, 2008 at 2:07 pm

[re=197474]SayItWithWookies[/re]: No. Look at the man. Then imagine him with a goatee. He’s obviously a Leninist.

Vanity Smurf December 12, 2008 at 2:08 pm

This is clearly a false flag operation in the War On Christmas (TM).

AngryBlakGuy December 12, 2008 at 2:14 pm

…Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph? Sounds like commies to me!!!

Anonymous Office Zombie December 12, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Flash Gordon is hilarious, but so is Battlefield Earth. Do not underestimate the horror/hilarity of Battlefield Earth.

When obsessively analyzed in terms of dialogue, visuals (100% Dutch tilt!), plot, acting, costumes, logic (lack thereof) etc. Battlefield Earth’s true infamy becomes apparent. Flash Gordon was a low budget disaster casted with nobodies. Battlefield Earth cost tens of millions of dollars and had name actors. Oh, and the DVD commentary… my god, if you ever want to listen to complete delusion, listen to the Battlefield Earth people defend their creation as being visionary art up there with Star Wars and Blade Runner.

I was soooooooo disappointed when Travolta did not make a part 2 as he promised.

Barrett808 December 12, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Looks like the Westboro Baptist Church has got this one right: Radical church wants ‘Santa will take you to hell’ sign in Olympia.

Right next to the atheists’ sign, fo’ sho’.

fishcanoeski December 12, 2008 at 2:17 pm

Actually Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer tune works perfectly well with the lyrics of the Internationale. Pull out your Little Red Songbooks and sing alon… oh you don’t have a Little Red Songbook. O.K.. Here goes:

Arise, you prisoners of starvation!
Arise, you wretched of the earth!
For justice thunders condemnation:
A better world’s in birth!
No more tradition’s chains shall bind us,
Arise you slaves, no more in thrall!
The earth shall rise on new foundations:
We have been nought, we shall be all!
‘Tis the final conflict,
Let each stand in his place.
The international soviet
Shall be the human race
We want no condescending saviors
To rule us from their judgment hall,
We workers ask not for their favors
Had a very shiny nose!

Barrett808 December 12, 2008 at 2:19 pm

The only way to watch BattleField Earth is with Rifftrax.

azw88 December 12, 2008 at 2:24 pm

[re=197462]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Is it really that bad??

I haven’t seen it, but seriously, how can a movie with the line The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill! really be???

Barrett808 December 12, 2008 at 2:35 pm

[re=197545]azw88[/re]: “That knowledge would burn and blind you.”

A recurring Boorman theme.

sanantonerose December 12, 2008 at 2:46 pm

I hope my commie propaganda comes in the form of a Keurig and a digital photo frame. Because I am both cheap and expensive at the same time.

Anonymous Office Zombie December 12, 2008 at 2:47 pm

Oh, you have no idea. No idea at all. Just do a casual internets search for people’s reviews. But really, words fail to express the level of bad. You must see for yourself.

Ken Layne December 12, 2008 at 2:49 pm

[re=197517]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: [re=197545]azw88[/re]: I recall Flash Gordon (the ’80s movie) being an insanely expensive Dino De Laurentiis production with Max Van Sydow and a pretty awesome soundtrack by Queen. Are you people thinking of the low-budget penis-porn knockoff, Flesh Gordon?

Neon Trotsky December 12, 2008 at 2:50 pm

“Sinter Klass”? More like “Sinister Class [War]“!

snideinplainsight December 12, 2008 at 2:58 pm

I’m more of a Lennonist than a Lenninist.

Also, I blame furries.

azw88 December 12, 2008 at 3:08 pm

[re=197623]snideinplainsight[/re]: I am both a Marxist and a Lennonist!

[re=197599]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Is it Attack of the Killer Tomatoes bad? : (so bad it is funny)

[re=197570]Barrett808[/re] That pretty much describes wonkette, don’tcha think?

Min December 12, 2008 at 3:11 pm

I knew that red suit had some kind of party significance.

user-of-owls December 12, 2008 at 3:14 pm

Geez, this much bad movie obsessing and not a single reference to Plan Nine from Outer Space?

Barrett808 December 12, 2008 at 4:01 pm

[re=197638]azw88[/re]: “Then burn me.”

Servo December 12, 2008 at 4:19 pm

“I dream to some. A NIGHTMARE TO OTHERS!”

Anonymous Office Zombie December 12, 2008 at 6:14 pm

[re=197605]Ken Layne[/re]:
You might be right about the Flash Gordon budget. I guess I just assumed it to be low budget because it looks like sad garbage. I suppose the kind of tech you could buy then was vastly inferior to what you could buy after Lucas changed the whole game.

Flesh Gordon… is a whole other story.


Yes! So bad it’s funny is exactly right. Mediocre bad or kind of shitty doesn’t cut it. The movie has to suck on every level, but at the same time take itself completely seriously. That is the key to the so-bad-it’s-good formula.

Dinogrrl December 12, 2008 at 10:08 pm

The extra funny in this comes from knowing that Phillip Adams was a strident member of the Australian Communist Party from age 16 until its demise sometime in the 80′s or whenever.

Bowdoin December 12, 2008 at 10:45 pm

[re=197458]slavojzizek[/re]: Too bad he wouldn’t talk to the pest, because it was none other than -

- drumroll –


Neon Trotsky December 12, 2008 at 11:01 pm

[re=198038]Bowdoin[/re]: Not cool! I thought we all agreed to pick on Rosa Luxembourg…

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