zat you santa claus?

Santa Claus Palling Around With Marxists

Secret Marxist?!Look at this creep, with his terrorist beard. His name is legion, or “Sinter Klass,” which means Karl Marx, because this is a photograph of the grave of the unrepentant Marxist, Karl Marx. Even his name is Marxist. An Australian person has written these words: “First, Father Christmas is a dead ringer for the Father of Communism. Second, he dresses top-to-bottom in red! Third, the whole idea of Father Christmas reindeering and sleighing around the world with a giant sack full of presents shrieks of commie propaganda.” [Australian]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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49 comments

  1. shortsshortsshorts

    After reading the linked article, I am completely dumbfounded at the idea of Australians having a tangible sense of humor, and therefore take the article seriously.

  2. Bowdoin

    It was a difficult case to make, but one said somewhere Marx was no Marxist! See, him and that Other One, Engels, had a paper in London, which was a safe site back then for Marxism. Anyway, the pressmen and copy boys on the Marx News thought they needed more than Marx was offering in wages and benefits, so they set upon a strike as a remedy, in keeping with, “WORKERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR JOBS!”

    They didn’t read the second part of that there Communist Manifesto. Marx kicked every one of the troublemakers out into the street and hired new serfs at the same wages. The end.

  3. Borat

    Does this mean the The War on Christmas is a War Against Communism? Now that’s something Fox News needs to get behind

  4. V572625694

    Aussies are the world’s heaviest binge drinkers. In fact, the term “binge” is really not correct, if, like most Australians, you’re drunk all the time you’re awake. Gday, indeed!

  5. Dildo Baggins

    I notice the Aussie says “Karl HEINRICH Marx.” Notice how similar it is “Barack HUSSEIN Obama”!

  6. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=197431]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Australians are only funny in that “funny accent” kind of way. Anytime I meet one all I can think about is Russell Crowe in Romper Stomper and that makes me exceedingly uncomfortable.

  7. Joey Ratz

    Someone needs to give the guys and gals at Free Republic and RedState this link. They’ll eat this shit right up.

  8. slavojzizek

    [re=197436]Bowdoin[/re]: Actually, Marx himself once said ‘All I know is that I am not a Marxist’ to some pest who always wanted to know what his opinion on everything was.

  9. The Station Manager

    Phillip Adams is indeed a satirist, but the fact that I had to look it up really does say something about the state of Right Wing punditry.

  10. Anonymous Office Zombie

    the grave of the unrepentant Marxist, Karl Marx. Even his name is Marxist.

    Kudos. That was LoL-worthy.

    [re=197442]slithytoves[/re]:
    Not only have I seen Zardoz, I own it on DVD. Easily one of the top 10 insanely bad movies of all time, right up there with Battlefield Earth and Flash Gordon.

  11. The Cold Sea

    Australians and Alabamians are one in the same. Separated by distance and accent, but of the same loins. A redneck, cracker Alabamian = a redneck, cracker Australian. Although, the Australians are more fun since they drink instead of pray to Jeebus nonstop about teh gay while getting pegged by wifey.

  12. slithytoves

    [re=197462]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: I own it, too, and I’d have to think about which one of my “D” sci-fi movies is the worst, but I think Flash Gordon is one of the funniest. Batlefield Earth, eh.

  13. SayItWithWookies

    “From each according to the elves’ toil, to each according to his Christmas list.” Does that mean Hank Paulson’s a Marxist? Oh, wait, it does.

  14. j6n

    Of course Santa is a communist. All children are born communist. It’s the original sin. That’s why they must be saved and learn to be consumers by watching Sprout 8 hours a day. When they come of age, they forget about Santa Clause and gain a new hero, Joe the Plumber. So it is written, somewhere.

  15. user-of-owls

    [re=197474]SayItWithWookies[/re]: No. Look at the man. Then imagine him with a goatee. He’s obviously a Leninist.

  16. AngryBlakGuy

    …Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph? Sounds like commies to me!!!

  17. Anonymous Office Zombie

    [re=197473]slithytoves[/re]:
    Flash Gordon is hilarious, but so is Battlefield Earth. Do not underestimate the horror/hilarity of Battlefield Earth.

    When obsessively analyzed in terms of dialogue, visuals (100% Dutch tilt!), plot, acting, costumes, logic (lack thereof) etc. Battlefield Earth’s true infamy becomes apparent. Flash Gordon was a low budget disaster casted with nobodies. Battlefield Earth cost tens of millions of dollars and had name actors. Oh, and the DVD commentary… my god, if you ever want to listen to complete delusion, listen to the Battlefield Earth people defend their creation as being visionary art up there with Star Wars and Blade Runner.

    I was soooooooo disappointed when Travolta did not make a part 2 as he promised.

  18. fishcanoeski

    Actually Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer tune works perfectly well with the lyrics of the Internationale. Pull out your Little Red Songbooks and sing alon… oh you don’t have a Little Red Songbook. O.K.. Here goes:

    Arise, you prisoners of starvation!
    Arise, you wretched of the earth!
    For justice thunders condemnation:
    A better world’s in birth!
    No more tradition’s chains shall bind us,
    Arise you slaves, no more in thrall!
    The earth shall rise on new foundations:
    We have been nought, we shall be all!
    ‘Tis the final conflict,
    Let each stand in his place.
    The international soviet
    Shall be the human race
    We want no condescending saviors
    To rule us from their judgment hall,
    We workers ask not for their favors
    Had a very shiny nose!

  19. azw88

    [re=197462]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Is it really that bad??

    I haven’t seen it, but seriously, how can a movie with the line The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill! really be???

  20. sanantonerose

    I hope my commie propaganda comes in the form of a Keurig and a digital photo frame. Because I am both cheap and expensive at the same time.

  21. Anonymous Office Zombie

    [re=197545]azw88[/re]:
    Oh, you have no idea. No idea at all. Just do a casual internets search for people’s reviews. But really, words fail to express the level of bad. You must see for yourself.


  22. Post author
    Ken Layne

    [re=197517]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: [re=197545]azw88[/re]: I recall Flash Gordon (the ’80s movie) being an insanely expensive Dino De Laurentiis production with Max Van Sydow and a pretty awesome soundtrack by Queen. Are you people thinking of the low-budget penis-porn knockoff, Flesh Gordon?

  23. azw88

    [re=197623]snideinplainsight[/re]: I am both a Marxist and a Lennonist!

    [re=197599]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Is it Attack of the Killer Tomatoes bad? : (so bad it is funny)

    [re=197570]Barrett808[/re] That pretty much describes wonkette, don’tcha think?

  24. Anonymous Office Zombie

    [re=197605]Ken Layne[/re]:
    You might be right about the Flash Gordon budget. I guess I just assumed it to be low budget because it looks like sad garbage. I suppose the kind of tech you could buy then was vastly inferior to what you could buy after Lucas changed the whole game.

    Flesh Gordon… is a whole other story.

    [re=197638]azw88[/re]:

    Yes! So bad it’s funny is exactly right. Mediocre bad or kind of shitty doesn’t cut it. The movie has to suck on every level, but at the same time take itself completely seriously. That is the key to the so-bad-it’s-good formula.

  25. Dinogrrl

    The extra funny in this comes from knowing that Phillip Adams was a strident member of the Australian Communist Party from age 16 until its demise sometime in the 80′s or whenever.

  26. Bowdoin

    [re=197458]slavojzizek[/re]: Too bad he wouldn’t talk to the pest, because it was none other than -

    - drumroll –

    TROTSKY!

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