Wonkette
Hillary Clinton may have “worked like an animal” to win her Senate seat, but she also had crazy awesome name recognition due to her years-long sham marriage to international playboy Bill Clinton. Now Caroline Kennedy wants to be the next junior senator from New York, because why not? She is a Kennedy, after all, which means she gets whatever she wants, as long as it involves booze and suspended prison terms.
BLECH. You know this silly thing that this gal wrote? Exactly.
Caroline is our tragic national princess. She is not locked away in a tower but chooses, for the most part, to closet herself there. Her mother dies, too young. Her impossibly handsome brother crashes his plane, killing himself, his wife and his sister-in-law. She is the last survivor of her immediate family; she reveals herself only in the measured doses of a person who has always been, will always be, in the public eye.
Sorry dood! That is a good character for a movie, not a good politician.
Anyway, Andrew Cuomo, Caroline Kennedy’s cousin’s ex-husband, doesn’t think she would be a very good senator either. And since the Cuomos are sort of the Kennedys of New York, somebody should make a movie about him, too.
“I’ve known Caroline for years. I have a high opinion of her, but that’s going to be up to the governor,” said Cuomo, who also is being considered by Gov. Paterson to replace Clinton, but indicated he’s not interested.
A reporter later yelled at Cuomo, “Good duck” - to which Cuomo responded, “Thank you.”
Ha ha ha and also a prominent Clinton fundraiser said “we’re not a state of dynasty,” which is probably news to HILLARY FUCKING CLINTON.
A Vote for Senator Caroline [Washington Post]
DEM KNOCK ON CAROLINE [New York Post]
The fact that you know this proves that the Kennedys are our very own royal family and should reign forever and ever.
I want to know what CAMPBELL BROWN has to say about THIS.
You can make several arguments why Caroline Kennedy shouldn’t be a Senator, if that is your opinion, however, when dealing with the Senate seat of one Hillary Clinton, one should not site “fame” “entitlement” and “political family ties” as reason why not.
Why don’t Patterson just appoint the cast of E.R.? They appear to be very hard working, after all. AND they deal with tragedy on EVERY show, which is a true sign of, umm, GRIT.
She’s so damn skinny. Every time I see her I want to feed her doughnuts.
Is that wrong?
JeffGoldblum: Personally, I could watch Campbell Brown read the phone book for an hour. Mmmmmmm…Campbell Brown.
Geeze, are Ruth Marcus’ columns always that vapid? If so, no wonder she favors Caroline Kennedy for the senate seat — I’m surprised she’s not lobbying to have it taken over by an adorable puppy. Wouldn’t that be sweet? Awwwwww.
Hey, any senator that’s neither a Cuomo nor a Clinton sounds just fine with me. Andrew has that same sense of self-righteousness and entitlement that his dad had, but at least Mario came by it honestly, rather than inheriting it.
Memo to Paterson: This bleeping seat is bleeping gold. Don’t bleeping give the motherbleeper away.
Whatever…I just want to know just how much money Blagojevich plans to make from this appointment.
Wait a second, I seem to remember someone in New York… He was incredibly heroic… It was on a day that we should NEVER FORGET….Hmmm, what was that gorgeous man’s name… oh yeah RUDI FUCKING GIULIANI 4 SENATE MA$TER!!!111
shortsshortsshorts: Yeah, but it’s set in Chicago.
I for one welcome our new Kennedy over-lady. They’re better than we! They deserve all good things! And they shouldn’t have to work for them!
Even more, Caroline did do actual work: she edited Favorite Doggerel Crap “Poems” of My Rich Beautiful Famous Dead Mommie. This towering literary achievement alone warrants immediate appointment to the US Senate, where she’ll be in good company with Larry Craig and David Vitter.
So, this means Patterson’s still taking bids for the seat?….
Switch channels from Chicago machine to the New York machine..
That pic is adorable. All future political campaigns should be based solely on baby pictures.
I’m just in awe of the awesome awesomeness of the juxtaposition of the story and that photo.
V572625694: Damn HTML code. Here:
Even more, Caroline did do actual work: she edited Favorite Doggerel Crap “Poems” of My Rich Beautiful Famous Dead Mommie. This towering literary achievement alone warrants immediate appointment to the US Senate, where she’ll be in good company with Larry Craig and David Vitter.
V572625694: You know what, if E.R. is the highest bidder then E.R. deserves the seat. I don’t care if the show is set in fucking “Chicago” er whatevs.
We can do better! Let’s find a minority!
shortsshortsshorts: If fame is the only prerequisite for being named Senator from New York, then the gig should go to Woody Allen. Whether he wants it or not.
Actually, it would be fun to make Woody take the job.
shortsshortsshorts: All government functions and fake doctor television shows will become MOOT when Giuliani is named grand wizard of the senate.
- “worked like an animal” to win her Senate seat -
I blame furries.
NoWireHangers: Sure one can! Especially if one is still rather irked about how Miz Clinton waltzed into the state and directly to the front of the line of duly elected public servants who had actually been, you know, working for New Yorkers for a few years and might have liked a shot at the seat. She’s done a decent job and all that, but to hand it to YET ANOTHER person who would not ever be considered but for her name is, well, irksome. Also.
shortsshortsshorts: I don’t think E.R. will make it another week. E.R. Totally represents the establishment. Try finding a fresh new face, but yet still with experience and youthful appeal: Scrubs anyone?
Call a special election and let her run. I need to see that she has a better grasp of issues than Sarah Palin before I get on board with this.
Caroline Kennedy might not be qualified to be a Senator. Way too classy. Quality, taste and style are not exactly attributes of the office.
And until she got on the Barry Bus last summer didn’t she go by her husband’s last name? Her role in some sort of public office has been in the works for a while now.
Cape Clod: Do we really need a Woody Allen movie about his experience in the Senate? Maybe. The movie might be fun, but having him hold a press conference…. well ok, I see your point. Woody Allen for Senate!
…please tell me that I’m not the only one that is having flashbacks of this after looking at that photo?
JadedDIssonance: I hear Alan Keyes has time on his hands.
AngryBlakGuy: Yes! I was thinking the same thing. But you know that Miz Caroline would never lick her entire hand for that sort of thing.
JadedDIssonance: Patterson could just parachute Scrubs in.
Vanity Smurf: Exactly. Why would she want to deal with the likes of Diaper Baby Vitter and Sissy Saxby and too many other repugnant assholes to name?
I suggest Paterson appoint Blaggy to Hillary’s seat in exchange for Blaggy’s appointment of Paterson to Barry’s seat.
Is that a pic of young Hilz right before she unhinged her jaw and tried to swallow Baby Princess Caroline whole?
Gopherit: Actually, he’s too wrapped up in appealing SCOTUS to get Barry fired.
I have always appreciated Clinton’s attention to us hicks up in the North Country. It’s really hard for me to imagine Kennedy doing the same. So far I don’t like any of the choices, including Fran what’s her face from the Nanny. Yuck. Pick me! Pick me!
Bypartizoa:
I had a friend named Campbell
Used to drink, love, and gamble;
Did everything that was
low
down
Went out with ‘er one night
She got us into a heck of a fight
So if you wanta go and ramble
You’ll have to do without Ms Campbell
‘Cuz …
She’s in the jailhouse now
She’s in the jailhouse now
I oncet had most ever’ onea my teeth
Until she sparked that heckofa beef!
She’s in the jailhouse now … (etc)
- Jimmy Rogers
(word and music ASCAP)
queeraselvis v 2.0: What does hilz think of CK gettin her spot?
Well, she clearly got the baby-eating thing down at an early age, so I say she’s qualified.
Marcus wouldn’t empathize with Caroline so damn much if she knew that picture captured her whispering, “Someday you’re going to die in a fiery plane crash…” in her infant brother’s ear.
Personally, I propose the seat be rotated amongst the cast of Sex and the City. I hear this arrangement is all the rage in Europe. Couture for all!
anabellum:
Nobody can really “show” him the money.
I’d like to see Al Sharpton take the job.
“Good duck?” What was that, a restaurant review? Or if it’s code, could someone explain it to me?
What the hell, why not appoint ROD BLAGOJEVICH to the senate? He needs a job now.
Kennedy-Coumo-Hapsburg-Bourbon-Saxe-Gotha for Senate!
The Yankees have included the Senate seat in their offer to Mark Teixeira
AngryBlakGuy: Yes, the Bristol (or whichever the hell that one was) Spit-lack was the one of the shinin’ moments of the Snowbilly campaign.
jagorev: Maybe we can let them be our figurehead family like our monocled uncles across the pond do?
choinski: Now that you mention it, are their any Plantagenets still kicking around?
I think one “Caroline in the City” was quite enough.
Megan Fox or no one. And I mean that.
CorkPopper:
I thought that NY had to bring it’s senators in from outside as anyone who has come up through the State political machine was likely to be mobbed up or something.
ZiPPerHEaD: Those are for the squirrels.
CorkPopper: What I’m saying is that it’s hypocritical for Hillary lovers to condemn Caroline Kennedy for reasons that Hillary herself can be condemned for. Capiche?
She does have a law degree and actually passed the bar but I think they should make her ambassador to Bermuda or Monaco or Africa.
Cape Clod: Vanity Smurf: Because we need another child molester in Congress?
user-of-owls: What’s one more?
gidgetbananas: It is ENGRISH…. check out ENGRISH.COM
It is clearly someone from Asia telling Andy C guud ruck, as he is going to outbid him for the seat.
The Kennedys either need to GO AWAY or get busy with the bushes to create the one true bloodline to rule Imperial America forever. The end.
Jeb, Caroline, get busy.
I wish John-John were still alive, you KNOW he’d get something in the Obama administration. anyone with the balls to put out a magazine with a gender-bending George Washington on the cover would have to be up for some post!
Clearly Caroline has too much class to be a senator. But she’s good enough, she’s smart enough, and doggone it if Al Franken can do it, why not our Sweet Caroline?
JadedDIssonance: How about “House”? House for Senate has a nice ring to it, and he’d tell them Repubs just what he thought of ‘em.
Cape Clod: In Woody’s defense, he’s already got his pedophilia scandal behind him.
For God’s Sakes people, Caroline is the one sober Kennedy. A US Senate seat is a suitable prize for that achievement.
Kennedy-Bush-Clinton. It’s like playing musical chairs on the Titanic!
The Kennedys are a shining example of everything that is wrong with universal suffrage.
Caroline - entirely unqualified. Kennedys - poorly bred grifters with ill-gotten assets.
How about 2012 — Caroline the Standard Oil Trust Fund baby vs. Sarah Palin the Big Oil shakedown artist! Caroline is the champion of the Little Guy, Palin is pro-business. Fun, fun, fun!