Wonkette
No one is investing in anything now — even in newspapers or crappy cars! — so it’ll be hard for every state in the country to lure short-term debt investors, since they’re all expected to become insolvent at some point(s) within the next few years. (Ha ha, sucks not being able to print money, doesn’t it STATES?) The state of Illinois, meanwhile, is having an especially tough time selling off its debt, because who wants to buy debt from a state that’s governed by an actual adult retard?
(Crain’s) — The corruption scandal surrounding Gov. Rod Blagojevich is already affecting the state’s precarious finances.
Illinois has postponed a $1.4-billion short-term debt offering scheduled for Thursday. And late Wednesday, credit-rating agency Standard & Poor’s Ratings Services said it may downgrade the state’s AA general obligation bond rating, citing a growing deficit and concern over “the legal charges now facing the governor and his chief of staff.”
The debt offering, which would have helped close Illinois’ $4-billion operating deficit, fell through because the state was unable to complete required paperwork and didn’t obtain the credit ratings it needed.
“From my standpoint, it’s just an example of the disruption and damage being caused financially to the state because of the tenuous nature of the governor’s position,” Illinois Comptroller Daniel W. Hynes said.
Don’t worry, Illinois, we’re sure Gov. Blagodicks has a plan. Maybe Warren Buffett or someone — Obama knows him, right? — could give the state $4 billion or whatever, in exchange for Ms. Blaggy landing herself some corporate board seats (she has a background in real estate, after all). MMHMM? Exactly, you fucking fucks.
State delays $1.4B debt offering [Chicago Business]
From the prospectus:
“This $1.4 billion short term debt offering is a golden thing. We’re not going to just fucking give it away for nothing. Fuck you. You gotta buy this debt.”
Personally, I think the FBI hid the wire in his hair. I feel sorry for Bobby Sherman. Blogo should give him his ‘do back.
We need pictures of Ms Blaggy and we need them now, preferably showing her acting out some of the more colorful actions she calls for.
i don’t get it, can’t illinois just sell obama’s old senate seat to make up for their budget shortfall?
duh.
[W]ho wants to buy debt from a state that’s governed by an actual adult retard?
Waitaminnit. The entire country is governed by an actual adult retard. Don’t tell that to the Chinese.
Haha, that’s it Blaggy. Take down as many of the fuckers with you as you can. I want everyone in Illinos eating dogfood, except on holidays when they can have some Luo delicacy like: http://inlinethumb23.webshots.com/23062/2724133970037620307S425×425Q85.jpg
Illinois will soon be without any healthcare when every doctor in the state goes belly up due to non-payment of medical bills by the state. Oh, and the nursing homes also. Sick, old people, living on the streets in 3…2…
Wait, they didn’t file the paperwork on time? Was Blagojevich required to fill that out personally, and he couldn’t, because he was in jail?
I think it’s truly ballsy that the DOOD elected to serve Illinois is taking that “ask not what your country can do for you” quote WAY OUT OF CONTEXT. Good for him.
Formerly Preferred: You just parachuted into a fucking win. WIN.
The Illinoisians, whose only future is a life on pet food (not bad with a little ketchup on it), will run Blago out of town on a rail when they hear this.
If Blaggy was in charge of selling all House & Senate seats we wouldn’t have a deficit. It could be the biggest reality show of all times.
pondscum: They won’t be living on the streets for long. Ah, winter… cold, cold hand of death laid upon the infirm.
speaking of retards…,the Fed has finally realized that just-printing-more-money might not be such a great idea….so it wants to issue it’s own new depression era notes….the problem is they might have to compete with the US treasury…
http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/fed-considers-issuing-its-own/story.aspx?guid=%7BE5B1EBA3%2DED1F%2D4D54%2DAE8D%2DFFC6690249D5%7D&dist=msr_5
Not just not printing money, but the whole “can’t run a deficit” thing is what really screws the states. Not only can the feds run a deficit, but they can run entire fucking wars “off budget” so that we can pretend that they aren’t costing us any money.
If Gov. “Blagodicks” is a Polish surname, it should have a Z in it somewhere. Might I suggest Blagodickz
NoWireHangers:
It’s a Serbian name.
And to us in Illinois, it’s Blago, not this Blaggy crap.
This guy almost makes me appreciate Nevada’s Gov. Gibbons
NoWireHangers: Still way too many vowels to be Polish.
pondscum: Well if those doctors would have just done the right thing and ponied up their 25K then they would have gotten their fucking payments on time, kapeesh?
Also, someone asked for a picture of Patti, the fourth picture here:http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/politics/chi-081201-rod-blagojevich-photogallery,0,3995841.photogallery
That’s the best picture I’ve seen of her in awhile.
I would also like to take this opportunity to claim partial responsibility for this whole thing, since I voted for the man 4 times. If it weren’t for people like me, everyone here would have to find some other way to waste their time (probably by continuing to kick the shit out of power line).
whooooo hoooooo
anabellum is back! get ready to get you asses kicked, y’all…
and like it [cause you'll be laughing it off].
Unindicted Co-Conspirator: Blago is best, but it seems that Jim refuses to embrace the obvious.
anabellum:
parole?
the hospital had no legal right to hold you any longer?
acquital?
escaped?
what?…
So people go to jail and get fisted for weed, but this douche gets to stay home and watch CSI and stuff. So unfair.
anabellum:
Just realized? How many years after Tricky Dick discarded the Bretton Woods Agreement and the gold standard?
“No prob. Just call up Bear-Stearns. They’ll do the deal and give me 10 bps.”
“They’re whatrupt? You’re {bleep}in’ me! Well, {bleep}’em!”
Unindicted Co-Conspirator: Now, I know that you’re a bit upset about all and sundry calling your guy “Blaggy” instead of the Illini-approved “Blago,” but, times change.
The man who just a few days ago was a petty, local, self-aggrandizing, corrupt assclown is now a petty, national , self-aggrandizing, corrupt assclown, so it’s natural that, as America embraces him, they are going to come up with some fame-names that you aren’t used to.
I think people are thinking ‘Blaggy’ over ‘Blago’ because it’s funnier, and dirtier sounding. Blaggy somehow sounds lower (blaggy -> skaggy?), more pathetic than Blago, which is really just an abbreviation (rather than a diminutive.) ‘Blago’ by itself seems hardly insulting enough, almost respectful really, in a cordial way, as one might call their good friend Robert by the nickname ‘Robbo’ or their esteemed co-worker Daniel ‘Dano’.
This is why ‘Blaggy,’ while not traditionally accurate to the ears of those who know him best, is clearly the superior fame-name.
Lascauxcaveman:
We’ve all been tea-Blagged.
V572625694: There’s reportedly a cartoon going around of Mrs Blago gumming Wrigley Field. It’s too complex to explain, and too obscene to Google, like Illinois itself.
Serbian? How about SloboRod Bag-O-Ye-Dicks?
Servo: What is with you coming out late and throwing out these WIN comments? WHAT THE HELL?
I still like how the British definition of ‘blag’ fits so well with the Blagger’s character:
Verb: blag (blagged,blagging) blag
Usage: Brit
1. (informal) persuade or deceive in order to get something for free
2. (informal) steal
shortsshortsshorts:
I dunno. Perhaps a clearer mind because I’m not at work.
Bowdoin: What, you’re telling me no enterprising porn producer has made a video of Mrs. Blago f*cking the Chicago Cubs?
Unindicted Co-Conspirator: No doubt. Did Blago order the massacre of Srebrenitza (or whatever the hell) too?
Dave J.: States never run balanced budgets. They issue general obligation bonds. One of the obligations is to not have a douchenozzle as your governor.
What’s with the court reporter picture and that (arm? going around his jacket). Is Blag-o gettin an early pre-prison reach-around or something?
Aurelio: Fortunately, we’ve got actual non-retards (Bernanke and Geithner) in charge of our munnyz. We’d be an actual third world country if Congress and/or the White House controlled monetary policy (thank GOD for the independent Fed)
States rights! States rights! Wuh? Uh, Fed can you spare a dime?
… the state was unable to complete required paperwork …
Yeah, uh, the dog ate it.
Blago’s future: Jail Cell Or Padded Walls?
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Please let this douche come out and say “I am not a crook”.
jagorev: It’s just a matter of time. Some possible titles?
“Mrs. Blago Does Chicago”
“Fuck Me Hard In The Prison Yard”
“Kinky Chi-Town Amateurs: Conjugal Handcuffs”
Free Blago!
I dedicated my song I HAVE A CAR to the Blago! Did you see his big ass SUV? He can use it in his prison break.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqAcIpGY8Nw
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: He doesn’t do anything for free.
I for one, find Governor Blagojevich’s hairstyle elegant and refreshing. It resembles my beard, only upside down.
Phineas
http://wingnutsinthewild.blogspot.com/
The reason the Blaggo is so dumbfounded by the violent reactions from the rest of the country is that he doesn’t know that the “Chicago way” of politics isn’t practiced so much (at least not out in broad daylight) outside of Cook/DeKalb County. Reminds me of the time I “ran” a “red” light and a Cook County “sheriff” invited me to “buy” his “lunch”. A fucking thing of value can’t just be fucking given away for fucking nothin’……over bye ‘dere.
National Fried Boloney League: Is “buying lunch” a Chicagoan euphemism for assfucking?
SERBIAN? Oh boy….
In USA, you style hair.
In Serbia, hair styles YOU.
You fucks.
DoctorCulturae: Exactly. States want all this autonomy, like being able to ban married buttsecks. And they don’t fund education or health care, but find the cash for abstinence-only. Then they shockingly find out they are running a deficit, and come running to Congress for help. Dear States (South Carolina, I’m looking at you): stop keeping your morans toothless and mouthbreathing. Otherwise, you will always be a Yankee-dependent cesspool. Or is that what you REALLY want?
jagorev: Assfucking is a holy term only dispersed doing Liberal communion.
Wait, you want me to plead guilty and implicate my co-conspirators? That stuff is like gold. Look, get my wife a job at the prison, that way, I mean, no one will be able to follow the trail. I mean I want some deal that’s good for me and the people of Illinois.
NYNYNY: I believe it is “the people of fucking Illinois.” If I seem wrong, it’s because they missed that in the recording.
freeradical: Reconstruction was a mistake, we should have nuked them when we had the chance, in 1865.
jagorev: Bernanke looks OK–he’s a successful academic and a public servant. Geithner, not so much.
Weak sauce! This could have been so much more if the editors were not effete librul communist eunuchs!
OH AND YOU WOULD HAVE MORE PAGE VIEWS if you posted about now, or sometime in the near future. Now I know it’s not all about page views, but I am very disappointed with you, Wonkette. You are my best-friend in the WAR AGAINST TERROR and yet you people just start saying “fuck it” at 8:00 p.m. Pacific Time. YOU BEST GIT YER ACT ON BORED ER I KILL ONE OF THE JAPS IN THE BASEMENT.
That is all. I swear to you, this is not good for series buesniz.
Allah.
That is all.
True ‘mericans would be angry at that ’cause real ‘merica is divided between the stars and stripes and stuff.
PATRIOTS FIGHT BACK.
Meh. MEH. I expect more from this Wonkette. I almost want them to be slaves to Nick Denton ($$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$) again.
Will you not entertain the West Coast people with your southern charm?
Campbell Brown: No Bias; No Bull; No Bra?
Now that would put me in the situation room 24/7 with some serious hard ballin’.
OK, here’s a a three-month late Wonk’d:
Saw Illinois Governor ROD BLAGOJEVICH outside Wrigley Field just after the Cubs beat the Cards for the division title. He was standing next to the statue of Ernie Banks on the Clark St. side of the stadium, penned in by police roadblocks to keep the crowd at bay. He was there to press the flesh and to bask in the reflected glow of his beloved Cubbies. I certainly wasn’t going to shake the slimy motherfucker’s hand, but for some reason, I stood around the periphery for 15-20 minutes to see how it’s done.
He got into it with a couple of hecklers- one who shouted “You’re in bed with (Cook County Board President Todd) Stroger and Daley to screw us over!” to which he responded “No way- that’s totally wrong”. One lady asked one of his police handlers “Who’s that?” When told, she said “Wow, he looks a lot thinner in person.” (This is true.) The cop said “Oh, tell him that. That’ll make his day.” At one point he brought out his 12-year old daughter for photos. Then he signed some woman’s chest.
Kind of a last hurrah for both Blago and the Cubs, as it turns out…
WindbagCity: George Ryan was at my younger sister’s Confirmation many years ago. I got his autograph on the program just as everyone started to realize who it was. He muttered under his breath about not wanting to sign a bunch of autographs. He was always a grumpy old jerk. Now he’s in jail.
Illinois needs $ it should sell his velour track suit on eBay. I’d bid.
Jukesgrrl: Yeah, would make a great Halloween costume. Of course, by then we’ll have forgotten all about this and will be knee-deep in NOBAMA’s birth certificate impeachment hearings.
I tried the nice approach. Now the INVASIVE YOU TOOOB thing seems useful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BvUJG0fOBM&feature=related
Eat me later.
Juice-IL: Ah, so that’s what happened to Bjork.
shortsshortsshorts: Jesus Hopey Christ, shorts, calm the fuck down! Ken will be done raking the sand off his lawn soon enough, and will probably be telling us what new way the Cheeto-stained diabetics are ushering in a neo-Boschian apocalypse.
Although, come to think of it, I would like to see a Late Nite Wonkette- maybe hire some unemployed bitter former entry-level politico to provide snarky links throughout the night. What’s that Ask A Hill Staffer up to nowadays?
WindbagCity: Good idea, but you’d have to explode a racoon to complete the costume and that would be mean to the racoon.
Reporting live from Chicago, it’s me, Mojopo. It’s so freaking cold outside that we are looking for ways to get rid of B-vich without having to venture out of our warm condos. Impeachment? Having him declared incompetent? Sending bad mental vibes? All of the above. Either way, this fucker has got to go. Incidentally, I did not vote for him. I didn’t live here when he was up for election. Therefore, I have an inflated sense of superiority.
Also, I have a blog. Tonight I wrote about a drug called AMBIVIUM. It’s Ambien combined with Valium, to help unemployed people not feel so bad about sleeping all day. Hope you like.
http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/12/ambivium.html
It does not suck.
tsunami: jeeze boy….hate to tell you, but you’re my only fan…
i have been distinctly unfunny for quite some time…a serious problem which my doctor thinks has something to do with losing my virginity….
i neither escaped nor was acquitted….i ‘graduated’ …..
i have a notarized certificate as proof…
Ok, wait. Apparat went housy and there’s a second Involver?
Shit. I gotta catch up. He was on shitkatapult last time I checked.
Is Sasha just full of WIN? He went Ulrich Schnauss on the last Involver (but not teh awesome song) and now I’m seeing Telefon Tel Aviv. Next thing you know it’s going to be all “Boards of Canada” and “Abakus”. Shit.
The awesome song being “A strangely Isolated Place”, but the youtube video is some neverwinter nights BS. Pfeh.
dotdotdotdotdot: Fucking signed.
Illinoisians? Illinoids? Illiniers? Simply ‘The Ill’ ?
Unindicted Co-Conspirator: We also affectionately refered to him a G-Rod, back when he was balls-out-humpin the state senate.
snideinplainsight: you may refer to us as ‘The Poors.’
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: Free? You fuckin’ gotta be kiddin’ me? I mean, what will he get in return?
uh… will i still get my employment check?
el_chupacabra: UN-
I have to understand this before I can comment. Magoo takes funds from lots of rich guys and he carries water for them in return, quid pro quo, and the result is the S&L scandal with its $250bil pricetag, and he and his cohort continues running the same shop on the same corner, then we have this crusade to git gumint outta the boardrooms and now we have, oh, what a lovely depression, but we don’t worry about none of that. No, we spend time with some insane fool in Illinois who tries to shop a Senate seat on eBay, cost to us (if we ain’t the Cubs), $zerobil. America, is this correct? I need to understand so I can comment.