Wonkette
Yo bitches check out the details about this FIRESALE at McCain-Palin headquarters, according to a report from an anonymous operative in Virginia: “I just came back from the McCain-Palin regional headquarters in Arlington, VA. They are selling all of their office equipment - it was very depressing, but I did lay hands on a nice 19″ LCD screen for only $113!” More infoz after the jump!
“For the interested, the address is 1235 S Clark Street, Arlington VA. It’s right near the Crystal City metro stop; in fact, you don’t even need to go above ground to get there. You can just go through (appropriately) the mall, and when you get to the building take the elevator up to (appropriately) the 13th floor, which is not labeled as such but rather as (hilariously) the ‘M’ floor.
“There were also Blackberries on sale ($30), laptops, LCDs, flags, tables, chairs, printers, phones, etc. Makes a great christmas present!”
If you head over to terrible Arlington for this sale, please take some pixxx and send them to us, ok? Deal? And If you see Palin there, DO NOT feed her your human food.
This is great news - for John McCain!
Child-sized Louis Vuitton handbag for $25. So sad.
I heard that if you ask the sales guy for the “special mechandise”, and he takes you into a back room and Willow Palin will give you a Vaseline massage with the “happy ending” for $50. For $100, Todd will “take you around the world”.
I think it’s sweet they’re saving up to buy Mom that Illinois Senate seat… or Pistol Palin her very own meth lab, either one…
And were are the silk undies? (I’m assuming the children’s sizes were purchased at a private auction of GOP party officials.
Are they selling Bristol Palin’s engagement ring?
damn! sign up for todd palin’s boxer silk boxer shorts!
i’ll pay double if they have not been laundered.
Does Trig come with a leash?
Defeated Republican shit “makes a great Christmas present?” Jesus, there IS a recession goin’ on.
If you find any “Blut und Ehre” daggers, put me down for one.
DeLand DeLakes: Just as long as they don’t package a defeated Republican with your loot, it should be OK.
Geez, you people are sick!
(I like you people.)
I’m sure they’re also clearing out the commemorative Joe the Plumber Plungers and the truckload of dickbags that were shipped to Arlington on November 5.
hedgehog: You stole my snark before I even had a chance. HOW CAN ONE EVER FORGIVE ANOTHER FOR SUCH TRAGEDY?
Trig will come with a harness and a time machine, so you can travel back in time and have him aborted.
Also, this is not “depressing.” “Depressing” would be if they were selling off this shit to upgrade to transition team equipment.
How much for the Straight Talk Express? I want to show up at a demolition derby with that beast.
Wow, I’d buy a $30 Blackberry …. Oh, sorry, I already have my black Barry! (Okay, bad joke but I would buy a $30 Blackberry–that’s a good deal as long as they didn’t let Trig or Todd use it as a teether.)
hedgehog: No, it’s illegal to sell children. You sell the leash and Trig comes with it.
I want the plane. Specifically, all the thriller-jackets Palin swears were left in the “belly.”
The 13th floor? What a Mavrick…
4tehlulz: No way, the sad dregs of the GOP are worth immeasurably less than a used Blackberry. Even if it was dropped in the toilet.
are mccain’s honor and dignity up for sale? or are the right wingers who he sold it to during the primaries keeping it for some other purpose?
i assume the volumes of empty rhetoric have already been donated to the Fox News archive?…
Also available for a steal:
2 1/2 crates of Grampers Brand adult diapers (unused)
57 crates of adult diapers (practically unused)
2 cases of grape flavored Viagra.
And
2568 rolls of McCain/Palin 2008 embossed toilet paper
I bid on the 200-lb tub of burnt rust-colored contour blusher creme that Palin used, but, goddammit, I was outbid by a group of tranny hookers that had pooled their trick money… I guess I’ll just have to cherish the half-used tube of Preparation H she used on the bags under her eyes (an old beauty queen trick!)
I totally want one of those Tire Gauges! PLZ?
@Monsieur Grumpe’:
David Vitter is currently B-lining it to the big sale.
Has anyone commented on the ad for a degree that has a rave in it? Because there’s rave on my screen.
tunamelt: Naw, Ken Layne only uses the “Yes on 8″ ads for San Francisco readers.
Ha ha, if you plug that address into Google Maps, you get the following list of things located there:
AAI Corporation
Active Duty Fitness For Women - 2 reviews
Alcoa
Dahn Yoga
Decisive Analytics
Delta Resources Inc
Falconwood
Gateway Sport & Health
General Dynamics It
Greenleaf’s Grille
Hair Tech & Nails
Hazard Management Solutions
I Robot Corporation
John Mccain For President
L-1 Identity Solutions
Lunarline, Inc
Motor Cycle Industry Council
Program Management Associates, Inc
Raytheon Co
Standard Parking
So, you got a yoga studio, a gym, a sporting goods store, a shitty suburban mall Bar and Grille, some defense contractors, a nail salon, some mysterious corporations that are probably other defense contractors and/or CIA front companies, and, of course, the shattered hopes of John McCain’s campaign. That’s Northern Virginia in a fucking nutshell right there, people.
The Blackberrys contain a 1994 email list of possible donors, plus on speed-dial Neiman Marcus and a specialist bus-toilet-unblocker (c’mon, you think they’d give an important job like that to a FAKE plumber?)
What….they aren’t putting the crap up on Ebay??
Hey that’s funny - not ten minutes ago my wife and I agreed to put on Nailin’ Palin as background tv for our New Year’s party.
Texan Bulldoggette: Believe it or not, this is the first time I have seen the “Blackberry/Black Barry” pun. How is this possible, you ask? I have no good answer.
But thank you for bringing it to my attention. You have just improved my cultural literacy 100%!
I always wondered if it was worse to live on a properly described 13th Floor, or if you are doubly cursed if you call the floor 14 (or in this case M).
cal: my first time too (I like the idea of the BlackBarry). Maybe this is some kind of manchurian trick - get us all to become addicted to the Blackberry, then when the BlackBarry comes along, we have no choice but to vote for him.
In anycase, has he been stripped of the presidential blackberry yet.
Was Blago selling anything over there?
Are they putting McCain’s Senate seat up for sale, or is that offer only good in Illinois?
CaliforniaMike: No know that Sarah is running anymore the first person to take Trig can have the Alaskan Senate seat. He would make a good door stop.
Seriously, does anyone know how to properly get the republican germs off of a BlackBerry? Cause $30 bucks is a steal.
OffTheRecord: The only sure fire way I know is for Prez-elect Hopiness to bless it.
So what ever happened to all that great Golf gear and presents for their blogger losers who were paid to tow the party line? I suppose all that walked of somehere? (I suggest the Wasilla Everything for $1 shop)
Wavingsuzy: Probably kicked off for too much negative feedback. Also repugs confuse Paypal with an escort service and consequently expect too much from the UPS man
I cannot fathom the porn that is on the Blackberry’s.
I can, however, fathom the porn I wanna make with Black Barry…
*swoon*
I hear they also have some of Palin’s fave field-dressing outfits!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
cal: Here’s a phrase that I’m sure is accurate both ways ‘the darker the berry/Barry, the sweeter the juice.’
Sometimes you eat the Truck NUTZ, and sometimes the Truck NUTS eat you.
I’ll wait for mankind to tell me otherwise, and stuff. ER THINGS, if you prefer.
Do they haz polo shirts?
Josh Fruhlinger: No, any Northern Virginia nutshell has to have a Korean restaurant.
Captain Swing: Yeah, they have one sweated on by Joe the Pretend Plumber. But it feels dirty.
The contents of the last toilet snaked by Joe Wurflefukker: $.25
John McCain sweat rag: $2
Actual tampons used by Sarah Palin: Priceless (relax, they’re still frozen, as is everything the ice queen touches)
Shit! I already bought my Ball Washer full price, because I believed in the change McCain was not going to bring.
Gorillionaire: Check my profile to send invitation…
Josh Fruhlinger: “I Robot” is actually Will Smith’s Lobbying Firm.