Wonkette
Oh look what your editor stumbled upon, yesterday, while researching the George W. Bush Jr. Xmas Gift Guide: It’s Florida Erection, the cult-classic homosexual pornography telling of the 2000 recount in Florida! Here, from the cover copy: “Hundreds of cum-drenched ballots are ignored by Florida Secretary of State Harris (Lana Luster) when she declares George Gush the winner.”
Oh that sounds pretty good! What else happens?
“The Florida Supreme court mandates a recount of the disputed cum-drenched ballots. Democratic Party observer Tuck Johnson and Republican observer Ryan Chandler do more than oversee as a cock sucking, ass fucking three-way ensues with election worker Tanner Hayes.”
Yeah that is just about how we remember it. Shepherd Smith reported the hell out of that story, didn’t he?
But why did the producers of this epic change Bush’s name (to “George W. Gush”) but not the name of Katherine Harris? Was she in on it, somehow? Also: Al Gore’s porno name, in this movie, is “Al Bore.” Is there anything more humiliating than having your porn name be “Al Bore”?
Florida Erection [GayVideoStore]
“researching” indeed
I mean you knew Kitty was a fag-hag, right?
Yes.
“Is there anything more humiliating than having your porn name be “Al Bore”?”
Al Bore is a great name, if you catch the meaning….
JEEBUS.
I know we all joke around all the time about not having jobs, but HOLY SHIT MAN if I click on that link you betcha that “gotcha” I.T. guy is going to tear me a new one (because I think he is gay) and then get me fired.
speaking of porn, I’d like to buy what that wind power ad girl is selling. Her website is a bore though.
Al Bore…you know, like a drill…stupid, sexy wonkette!
Toonces: Nice! I wonder if Dick Peney had a cumeo role in the flick.
LOVE the lipstick frowny face on his nether regions. I’m totally getting a tattoo exactly like that.
Wow, Charlie Crist looked a lot better back then.
Oh and speaking of the gay porns, that is exactly what I replaced this sticker with, after removing it.
too bad no one will ever make a porn about al franken’s senate race. then again, maybe it’s not too bad:
http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/franken_diaper.jpg
Lana Luster? I thought that was Ann Coulter in bad drag.
…they dont call Florida the PENIS of America for nothing!!! Damn proud to be a Floridian!
You guys should totally see it…it’s a touching love story of a man and his road cone.
I really don’t want to vote if I am going to have to use cum-drenched ballots. That is just foul. And the people who staff the polls (so to speak) on election day in my precinct have an average age of about 80 and are all overweight women wearing a lot of slathered makeup and red, white, and blue clothing and jewelry, so I really, really don’t want to think about whence the drenching came.
oh, and how can anyone get turned on by porn when they are all laughing hysterically at it? OK, maybe everyone isn’t.
Doglessliberal: The ballot box wasn’t the only thing getting stuffed, obvs.
Should I offer up the obligatory Hanging Chad joke?
Also, Alt-text WIN by Ken Layne.
The tagline “No One Likes Bush”: true, on so many levels.
And yet, the character’s name in this fine work of art is, apparently, George Gush, not Bush. This seeming lack of logic in our nation’s gay porn troubles me.
I was OUTRAGED yesterday when searching for George W. Bush products on Google shopping and this was the FIRST THING that turned up. The top result. Incredible. So I’m yelling at Newell about the incredible indignity, that the top product result on Google for the CURRENT PRESIDENT was some crappy porn flick from eight years ago …. and then I sadly realized I had typed not “George W. Bush,” but “George W. Gush,” and so by miraculous typo I found this, the greatest thing ever made.
I can’t believe Wonkette needed three full sentences to describe the plot of a porn movie. Compared to most porn, that’s got to put it right up there with War and Peace.
Hey i recognize that guy, he was in the “Brooks Brothers Riot.”
shortsshortsshorts: Classic gotcha journalism. BTW, why are you workin for the man? I assumed you were a free agent with plenty of snark time on your hands?
Ken Layne: Blessed fate led you to it. It was predestined, clearly.
shortsshortsshorts:
Being one of those gay IT guys myself I can say he probably:
1. doesn’t have time to look at your web usage
2. doesn’t care and
3. is looking at the same thing already
Ken Layne: Teh Googles are like Ouija. They already know what you want to find.
And I’m sure Newell’s response was a laconic barb on A2M.
So I realize the guys real buff and shit but christ look at his face. That expression and the shape of his head make me think he got kicked in the head by a horse of something…
Twat are you sayin’? You cunt re-cunt my hangin’ chad?
I dunno… Al “Gore” is already a pretty damn good buttsechs movie name…
Ken Layne: Sorry, Ken. That’s not believable at all. Tell us the real story.
Borat: hahahaa. You can see the commitment I have for work and how I would obviously take a bullet for the team here.
Ken Layne: One wonders..had you mistyped George W. Lush? You’d get the drunk daughters…
I wish all our politicians were porn stars.
Florida Secretary of State Klit Harris?
Ken Layne: Its not the first time a guy looking for Bush is lead so immediately astray. I’ve seen this one already. Have you seen the one about the Clinton Impeachment? Its called “(something something) on Pennsylvania Avenue”. I’m at work right now so I can’t look it up.
Is there a ballot bukakke scene? I would think that is one method of getting a cum drenched ballot.
Larry Craig gives this flick 100000000000000000000 bajillion SuperTubers while Mark Foley gives this movie his highest rating, 14 “Are you Horny?” IMs to Pages.
cal: Many of them think they are.
friendlynerd: Thank gawd for lazy computer-obsessed gay man.
Thank. Gawd.
Kev-O-Tron: I think it makes him look a little like a discount version of Prince William. Still very fuckable, it’s not like you have to look at his face.
My favorite part by far is the sad face.
Whiskeybaby: they’d still be at Gitmo if they had. or worse.
Yeah, I clicked through.
Directed by “Bud Light”
Nice.
MMS: Odd. This seems like a classic “Alan Smithee” work.
It’s Trig!
Clever title, but nowhere near as good as “Schindler’s Fist”
9/11 changed EVERYTHING!
When this was made, our porn gods were fatter. Now days, he’d be given a prescription for tina and at least three tribal tattoos.
shortsshortsshorts: that “gotcha” I.T. guy is going to tear me a new one
Maybe he’ll *bore* you a new one, if he really is ghey.
“mandate”
Ha ha ha. I get it !
Oh I never saw that one. And boo to the fact that Ryan Chandler plays the Republican. He’s one of my favorites - but I guess that in these things party labels don’t matter since everyone comes together in the end.
How Ken Lane found this reminds me of how I almost figured out that Jeff Gannon was a male escort. Heres how it happened: I read some article on the internet about Gannon asking softball questions. How do you deal with people that are out of touch with reality? I think was the question. So I looked up Gannon, read a couple of his posts, and thought no big deal just another right wing nut. Then I started getting all these gay pop up ads for male escort services. I couldn’t figure out where I had been that would prompt me to get such ads. About a week later the story broke about Gannons side job, and the mystery was solved.
Here’s a partial cast list:
Ron Klain –> Rod Pain
Mac Stipanovich –> Mac Straponadick
Bob Butterworth –> Bob Butterworth
James Baker - James Taker
Jeb Bush –> Peg Gush (ewewewewewewewew)
StephanieInCA: Matt mussed your link.
Crab1: Wait wouldn’t, say, Hal Gore work just as well?
choinski: Aha! “Penetration on Pennsylvania Avenue”
http://www.maledvd.ca/images/1573xtc78902.gif
Is this available in a boxed set with “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?” Although I guess that would only be a good holiday gift for a bisexual.
NOW. NOW IS THE TIME FOR LEED CERTIFICATION ANSWERS;
And Savuors/Swordsman/Ron Paul to save us from ourselves.
Do they re-enact that scene where all the college republicans come down to the Miami “courthouse” and “protest” the “recount”.
(by putting unnecessary quotes around benign words, it makes it sound really dirty)
Bore, baby, Bore.
shortsshortsshorts: tear you a new one shorts? like in the bibolical sense?