• May 27, 2012

Rod Blagojevich’s Terrible Hair Found Guilty of Everything

by Ken Layne  1:53 pm December 11, 2008

After he's executed, Homer will get his hair.Here’s some courtroom sketch of that Blaggy guy, Illinois mafioso Rod Blagojevich, suffering under the burden of this incredible hair monster. Here’s a quick tip for voters on the lookout for “clean” candidates: If they have hair like this, in 2008, they are a complete fucking criminal. No exceptions. [Princess Sparkle Pony]

{ 43 comments }

NoWireHangers December 11, 2008 at 1:55 pm

It’s like that episode of The Simpsons where Homer’s evil hair transplant makes him kill. Blago’s evil hair makes him call Barry a “motherfucker” and demand bribe money.

NoWireHangers December 11, 2008 at 1:57 pm

Damn you, Kin! I just read your alt text.

Mr Blifil December 11, 2008 at 1:58 pm

Who knew his fifth grade classmates would have foreseen his dilemma so many years prior?

bfstevie December 11, 2008 at 1:59 pm

It’s so nice to see Princess Sparkle Pony again! Please say something mean about Bill Kristol.

NewSpence December 11, 2008 at 1:59 pm

Sometimes, a cliche is a cliche for a reason.

Ken Layne December 11, 2008 at 1:59 pm

[re=196698]NoWireHangers[/re]: Hahahahaha.

Servo December 11, 2008 at 1:59 pm

He’s morphing into the mom on Family Circus.

magic titty December 11, 2008 at 2:00 pm
user-of-owls December 11, 2008 at 2:04 pm

Wow, the artist must have been waiting for Blaggy to come along all his/her life! Look at the judge. This sketchmaster would plop the Dead Wombat Wig on Yul Brynner. If he was on trial that is. And not dead.

ManchuCandidate December 11, 2008 at 2:04 pm

I think Ken and NoWireHangers are onto something. I’m pretty sure Blago’s hair has a life of its own when it testifies in court it will remind me of this little sketch from a soon to be canceled TV show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lab8BapoY14
Go to 3:55.

LongWallace December 11, 2008 at 2:05 pm

Good to know, I won’t be casting my vote for George Stephanopoulos this election!!!

Borat December 11, 2008 at 2:07 pm

I look forward to seeing him bald in his orange prison costume.

I also suspect he’ll get all tattooed up there.

Sussemilch December 11, 2008 at 2:08 pm

It looks like that picture of the diseased black lung they scare kids with to keep them from smoking.

Canmon (the Inadequate) December 11, 2008 at 2:08 pm

That should be hanging in the Louvre.

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 11, 2008 at 2:08 pm

I can only imagine the poor MFA student trying to inject artistic perspective into that hair, only to scream “Aw, fuck it” and run screaming from the room.

quoth teh Raven December 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm

[re=196707]Servo[/re]: Oh man, WIN…

cal December 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm

Obviously, ROD BLAGOJEVICH needed that money to feed his hair-monster.

sezme December 11, 2008 at 2:19 pm

“If they have hair like this, in 2008, they are a complete fucking criminal. No exceptions.”
[koff]Stephen Harper[/koff]

bago December 11, 2008 at 2:19 pm

At least he waded into the legal battle wearing a helmet.

Canuckledragger December 11, 2008 at 2:20 pm

“Fifth Beatle???”

That incorrigible youngster Ken Layne is fuckin’ stunned, or he’d know the REAL Fifth Beatle was Stu Sutcliffe [RIP].

Blaggy is the second Hervé Villechaize. On stilts.

JP December 11, 2008 at 2:27 pm

No way in hell is that his hair.

Got to be some sort of alien scalp appliance.

I don’t trust any hair if I can’t see the roots.

Canuckledragger December 11, 2008 at 2:27 pm

[re=196742]sezme[/re]: That comment might not play in Peoria, but in Canuckistan, that’s a definite “win.”

It’s funny because it’s true.

echoroc December 11, 2008 at 2:33 pm

for real, you guys, i think he’s got a luxuuuuuurious mane.

Gorillionaire December 11, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Everytime I see that haircut I hear in my head the theme from My Three Sons.

BigBrainOnBrad December 11, 2008 at 2:39 pm

When did Dennis the Menace’s father have sexual reassignment surgery and become a judge?

SayItWithWookies December 11, 2008 at 2:40 pm

And that courtroom artist is incredible. Now I know what happens to the people who can’t copy the picture of the mouse in the art school ad.

Kwame' December 11, 2008 at 2:46 pm

Just think of the manscaping he can do with his new friends in the pokey:
http://www.gigglesugar.com/394797

Servo December 11, 2008 at 2:51 pm

Hairdo courtesy of The Jim Henson Company.

problemwithcaring December 11, 2008 at 2:56 pm

[re=196711]magic titty[/re]: Is “Ponch” just too obvious?

Mr Blifil December 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm

[re=196769]BigBrainOnBrad[/re]: Since Dennis got his dye job, tamed his cow lick, and was elected Governor of Illinois.

villageatrois December 11, 2008 at 3:24 pm

When are the lazy Trib reporters gonna effin’ interview the effin’ grievin’ widow?

Ken Layne December 11, 2008 at 4:33 pm

[re=196744]Canuckledragger[/re]: The American “Fifth Beatle” phenomenon involved whatever middle-aged radio huckster/promoter who worked on early Beatles U.S. tours and would don the awful “Beatle Wig” that was a popular novelty gift of 1965 and then start calling himself “The Fifth Beatle.” There were probably THOUSANDS of these guys, who all looked like Blaggy will look after 13 years in the slammer.

Dumb Ass December 11, 2008 at 5:00 pm

That is the cheapest toupee on god’s green earth. Blago needed the cash to invest in something a bit flatter.

villageatrois December 11, 2008 at 5:18 pm

Awww, c’mon. That’s what chia pets look like in the Winter.

Jollity December 11, 2008 at 6:29 pm

They should have just arrested his hair, it’s clearly the brains behind this operation.

gliberal December 11, 2008 at 6:56 pm

Didn’t Bridget Bardot campaign against just this sort of animal abuse?

Canuckledragger December 11, 2008 at 7:02 pm

[re=196880]Ken Layne[/re]: Dude, I am from Canuckistan, not MARS!

I was listening to Murray The K. when you were still an impure thought in yer Daddy’s head.

badmuthagoose December 11, 2008 at 7:05 pm

I now have IRON-CLAD PROOF that my own governor, Republican Rick Perry, is a VILE CRIMINAL SLUG! Google him and check out his hair. His nickname is Gov. Goodhair, for real. Googling that term even sends you to his website. He’s been called that in print, by the Dallas Morning News and other big dailies in the state. For real. CRIMINAL.

sezme December 11, 2008 at 7:46 pm

[re=196754]Canuckledragger[/re]: After last week’s Canuckistani politics thread, I was pretty sure someone around here would understand.

P.T.T. December 11, 2008 at 7:47 pm

What I hate is the way the hair is a betrayal of Blago’s ethnic heritage. A careful perusal of Serbian politicians reveal the hair always stands straight up in the front, revealing a giant forehead — think Slobo — and so it’s certain he’s somehow conked his natural hair-raising South Slavic tendencies to imitate the nerd in the back of the band bus with a name like Jonathan.

astroprofeddie December 11, 2008 at 8:13 pm

Napoleon Dynamite grow up to be a courtroom sketch artist. Where is the Liger?

PityParty December 12, 2008 at 2:03 am

“Too late. The living toupe leaped from a parapet into the inky night…”

This is a job for Super Chicken!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQq6xfbgfXw

Kwame'sLittleHelper December 12, 2008 at 8:29 am

[re=197130]PityParty[/re]: Glad I’m not the only one who thinks of that episode when I see Blagojevich. Love it.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: