• February 14, 2012

Good work, America! And all it took was 750 trillion mortgage/credit card/auto loan defaults, ruining everyone’s ability to take on new, “responsible” debt in the future, but that’s probably a good thing. Now: GET JOBS. [CNN]

{ 43 comments }

snideinplainsight December 11, 2008 at 12:43 pm

I’m going to get a job cleaning Chertoff’s house!

ManchuCandidate December 11, 2008 at 12:46 pm

Yay fizkal responsabality!

Or maybe it’s because no one’s able to get a loan, credit card or mortgage. Just saying.

monty December 11, 2008 at 12:46 pm

not me
i just went and bought a new flatscreen and a new dell pc
tomorrow im going to buy the wife a new car
fuck that “lowering the debt” nonsense
consume consume consume!!!!!!

ftw

Doglessliberal December 11, 2008 at 12:47 pm

well, yeah, I would think most homeless, jobless people living in cardboard boxes are not accumulating a huge debt load. Hard to get credit cards when your address is “Under the 295S Bridge near exit for Capitol Hill, DC”

shortsshortsshorts December 11, 2008 at 12:47 pm

Hooray! Americans are reducing their own debt! That just makes that whole gigantic bank-bailout totally seem like the right thing, because clearly banks that are working for enormous profit margins are going to save better then the average American citizen.

BillyClubb December 11, 2008 at 12:47 pm

Yeah, soon we’ll all be more responsible by eating less, showering less, sleeping in our cars, and rarely going to see the doctor. My grandparents, raised in the Great Depression, would be so proud of us!

Larry McAwful December 11, 2008 at 12:48 pm

I’m only a few months away from a foreclosure on a house I own, so I’ll be reducing that mortgage debt pronto.

Neon Trotsky December 11, 2008 at 12:48 pm

Nothin’ like a New Depression to rein in one’s spending habits–we should have these more often!

SayItWithWookies December 11, 2008 at 12:48 pm

Economists decry this latest development in 3…2…1…

NoWireHangers December 11, 2008 at 12:48 pm

I just hope these strange, sudden American trends in things like thrift, paying down debt, voting for Democrats, and supporting progressive legislation last. It’s going to be even harder to go back to the fat, stupid, lazy, Rovian, Hummer years once we’ve had a taste of smart, humble living.

BillyClubb December 11, 2008 at 12:49 pm

[re=196597]Neon Trotsky[/re]: Oddly enough, that’s just what my grandparents used to say…

mattbolt December 11, 2008 at 12:51 pm

Americans aren’t trying hard enough. If you want to get America back on track, go out tomorrow and buy a leased Gateway computer, get a car loan on a bigass Ford truck you’ll never be able to pay back, get a 30-year mortgage on a suburban ranch-style two-storey, sign up for 5 new credit cards and put a houseful of furniture on high-interest layaway at Home Depot. Let’s get America back on track, people!

Neon Trotsky December 11, 2008 at 12:52 pm

[re=196593]Doglessliberal[/re]: I dunno, if pets can receive credit card offers, methinks the credit card companies are a-ok sending the offers to various hobo encampments too…

charlesdegoal December 11, 2008 at 12:53 pm

The link got me to “Retirement homes for gay Germans” on video (didn’t watch – senior gay sex turn me off). Meanwhile, the bank is trying to lower my debt by making me repay it. The bastards.

Doglessliberal December 11, 2008 at 12:56 pm

[re=196603]Neon Trotsky[/re]: good point. My cat gets mail.

shortsshortsshorts December 11, 2008 at 12:58 pm

But now the front page story on CNN is how we are entering a depression-era draught! What is with this economic clusterfuck?

I blame furries.

honkeyman December 11, 2008 at 12:59 pm

Be a jerk – go to work
Be a jerk – go to work
Be a jerk – go to work
Be a jerk – go to work
Do your job, and do it right
Life’s a ball
Tv tonight

problemwithcaring December 11, 2008 at 1:00 pm

What? It’s as if no one believes $1.67/gal gas is here to stay.

Theodorick Of York December 11, 2008 at 1:07 pm

[re=196603]Neon Trotsky[/re]: [re=196613]Doglessliberal[/re]:
A few years back, my cat Woody recieved a pre approved Visa from, you guessed it, Bank Of America.
I cut it up and threw it out, but he would occasionally get mail from financial planners, insurance companies and even ended up getting Land’s End catalogs. Eventually, he got a request from the ASPCA for a donation to fund neutering of stray cats and dogs. That’s where he drew the line…
he now lives off the grid in a cabin in upstate NY.

Thegreatbacon December 11, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Whoever has the most shopping carts when the real depression starts will become the next Bill Gates. I already have ten in my garage, and the Target parking lot looks dangerously unguarded to me.

user-of-owls December 11, 2008 at 1:11 pm

[re=196602]mattbolt[/re]: The only track America is going to get on is the one Snidely Whiplash ties us to.

[re=196618]Theodorick Of York[/re]: I’d check Woody’s internet cache if I was you. If you find a link to the Anarchist’s Cookbook, you might give some thought to either getting him a better brand of cat chow or contacting the authorities.

Servo December 11, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Run – don’t walk – to the nearest BnL.

4tehlulz December 11, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Since everyone house has been foreclosed at least once, I imagine it was pretty easy to reduce that debt load.

unprotoize December 11, 2008 at 1:16 pm

The Warriors-on-Christmas are winning! Carry on, footsoldiers! Pay them bills!

Theodorick Of York December 11, 2008 at 1:19 pm

[re=196623]user-of-owls[/re]:
Good tip, but not really a concern.
Woody is off the grid.
And has no thumbs.
And finds bloggers tiresome.

pattycake December 11, 2008 at 1:28 pm

I’m giving up my current low-paying and no-health care job sucking dick in the park, to work for a debt collection agency while I learn how to weld. I figure I can rebuild America, one debtor’s prison at a time.

bago December 11, 2008 at 1:33 pm

You know, I was walking through Bellevue yesterday, and the Hummer dealership had its “U” in its sign blinking in and out. Take that for what you will.

Thins that make you go hmm. er.

cynbot December 11, 2008 at 1:33 pm

In other news, Americans are getting skinnier.

Right.

problemwithcaring December 11, 2008 at 1:33 pm

[re=196633]4tehlulz[/re]: Right. And aren’t bankruptcies filings up by record levels? In today’s America, it is not a thin line between “reducing debt” and “writing it off” – there is no line.

V572625694 December 11, 2008 at 1:35 pm

[re=196641]Theodorick Of York[/re]: That’s just your way of saying you snuffed the cat, right?

DAmicosonegoodyear December 11, 2008 at 1:37 pm

[re=196615]honkeyman[/re]: Do you love it? Do you hate it? Here it is, the way you made it, Waaah!

HuskyMescan December 11, 2008 at 1:41 pm

The reducing debt affect…you bet rightwingers will call this a win for Bush and fiscal conservatism. Let’s wait for the dipshits on parade at NRO to respond.

Borat December 11, 2008 at 1:41 pm

This can be simply explained: When the repo man takes all your possessions, your level of debt goes down.

user-of-owls December 11, 2008 at 1:41 pm

[re=196641]Theodorick Of York[/re]: Yeah, well they said the same things about Ted Kaczynski. Um, except the part about the thumbs.

user-of-owls December 11, 2008 at 1:45 pm

[re=196676]Borat[/re]: As does your level of caloric intake.

Doglessliberal December 11, 2008 at 1:46 pm

[re=196623]user-of-owls[/re]: we are pretty sure our cat has cat meetings at our house during the day while we are gone in order to plot their coup against the humans. The trouble is, they are cats and have difficulty getting organized or finding the motivation to do anything. So they just meet and roll in catnip.

user-of-owls December 11, 2008 at 1:55 pm

[re=196679]Doglessliberal[/re]: We should be grateful indeed that our feline adversaries are less prone to form “sleeper cells” and more prone to form “sleepy cells.”

One Yield Regular December 11, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Just in time for the holidays, I have Patricia Neal’s voice from her performance in “The Homecoming” running in a loop through my head:

“John ‘n’ I nevah bought ennethang ohn credit in owah liiives…”

Lascauxcaveman December 11, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Bankruptcy = no debt, by definition.

This takes a shitload of $600,000 McMansions off the books, making us more responsible consumers, in the same way someone who’s had their stomach stapled a disciplined dieter.

Lascauxcaveman December 11, 2008 at 2:04 pm

[re=196659]bago[/re]: I call bullshit on that; NOBODY walks in Bellevue. I used to live there; I’m pretty sure walking is illegal or something.

bago December 11, 2008 at 2:17 pm

[re=196713]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Seriously. I tried to go from one side of 405 to the other on foot and was looked at as an absolute criminal by many.

bitchincamaro December 11, 2008 at 4:16 pm

“Coffin makers in Zimbabwe have reported an increase in business during the cholera epidemic.” – NYT.com

There you have it–job opportunities in foreign lands.

qwerty42 December 11, 2008 at 4:33 pm

[re=196597]Neon Trotsky[/re]: After the New Depression, who bombs Pearl Harbor (or invades Poland?)?

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