About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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69 comments

  1. shortsshortsshorts

    There is absolutely no hope of trolling that website. I said some things that weren’t even remotely offensive and my comments were magically blown out of the room like a cannon.

  2. NoWireHangers

    I read POTUS and thought punany. Who calls it POTUS? SCOTUS fine, but even that is irritating. Now my POTUS is irritated.

  3. Sussemilch

    “Is it true that John McCain died in late September and his reanimated corpse was puppeteered through the remainder of the campaign just to provide the people with a consistent reason to vote for the opposition?”

  4. LittlePig

    [re=196054]persiflage[/re]: Not just illiterate, but ignorant as well. Any voiding would be done on conviction, not impeachment.

    Change.gov allows wingnuts but not TRUCKNUTZ? Ladies and gentlemen, is this America?

  5. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=196054]persiflage[/re]: There should be a box to check where the people with half a brain get to determine if the questioner gets to stay in the US or gets shipped off to Siberia for a lovely wintertime vacay.

  6. shortsshortsshorts

    Here is a compilation of all the things Barry has been referred to by the wingnuts:

    Barack-Hussain-Nazi-Fascist-Terrorist-Socialist-Communist-British-Uppity-Elitist-Bottomfeeding-Osama-NoObama.

    When you put the name all together in context, doesn’t it start to ALL MAKE SENSE?

  7. freakishlystrong

    I think if you’re going to accuse someone of not being a natrual born citizen you should at least be able to spell it?

  8. Toomush Infermashun

    freakishlystrong: I believe that is the original, “natrual” spelling, favored by traditional fundamentalists on most ranches south of the Alleghenies…

  9. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=196076]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Funny. That’s my name too. I always thought it was pretty uncommon.

  10. rev_matt_y

    Shouldn’t it be SCOTUSA and POTUSA? I mean, not to be a stickler or anything but the official name of the country IS “United States of America”. And if you’re enough of a dickhead to use things like “POTUS” or “SCOTUS”* then shouldn’t you go all the way?

    *political and legal reporters exempted, as otherwise their fingers might fall off with how often they type that shit out.

  11. gurukalehuru

    Actually, I’m fairly impressed that this site exists and that they manage to keep Bozos like us off it. (I would never join any club that would have me as a member, bla, bla, bla)

    They must have a sizable crew of literate people who are actually reading the comments and thinking about them for a second. It is an internet first.

  12. Toomush Infermashun

    NoWireHangers: Thanks, I always thought that was SCROTUP, as in “Honey, now that we’re all SCROTUP, how will we ever disentangle….?”

  13. bago

    I said some things that weren’t even remotely offensive and my comments were magically blown out of the room like a cannon.

    Surely you meant “blown like a black man in a florida restroom”.

  14. freakishlystrong

    [re=196088]Carrie_Okie[/re]: [re=196089]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: Y’all are correct, he shoulda just said ‘Murican…

  15. TGY

    As an aside, I believe this nation can be significantly improved by a companion product to TruckNutz. Yes, I’m talking about TruckButtz! See…you get some plastic hineys…

  16. glamourdammerung

    The retards need to get the fuck over it.

    Their candidate lost.

    And they bitch about how Democrats try to “steal elections”….

  17. Canmon (the Inadequate)

    “Can I cook a frozen turkey without defrosting it? If so, how many minutes per pound will it take at 350 degrees?”

  18. peachgirl

    [re=196066]dougbob[/re]: Might as well make it the new Siberia, W sure won’t be going there anytime soon. He’ll be clearing brush in North Dallas and Patagonia (=South Dallas).

  19. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Are you at all concerned that when it comes out that your real father and mother were killed in the destruction of Krypton, that your wife and children may be at risk of attack from Bizzaro-Obama?

  20. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Is it true that you will reject from working in your administration anyone who has been circumcised?

  21. psychedelicSludge

    The true unspoken fear of the wingnuts is that Obama might not actually be a “natural born killer”.

  22. Neon Trotsky

    I think the real question here is, “How will President-elect Obama escape this cunning intellectual trap?”

  23. psychedelicSludge

    Are you concerned that after it is discovered that your bowels were voided before inauguration, any tuxedos or other rentals you may have made – in – will be rendered indefatigable?

  24. mpslim

    SCROTUM…PODIUM…IMMODIUM!! A magical spell that takes the nausia away after licking TRUCKNUTZ!!

    I learned it at Hogwarts yo

  25. mpslim

    Are you concerned about your repressed homosexual tendancies and the possibility of being discovered sucking cock in the truckstop bathroom? Do you wake in the middle of the night clutching your bits and curling into the fetal position and crying for Jebus? Are you worried that you will be caught eating boogers one fateful afternoon at your auto parts job in the TRUCKNUTZ section? If a tree falls on your trailer will a bear in an alternate universe shit on your favorite Blue Collar Comedy DVD ?

    The answer to these and other thrilling questions in next week’s episode of SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

  26. zetetic

    [re=196134]TGY[/re]: If someone starts selling TruckButtz, won’t the next step be the front-mounted BumperDick? It would give a whole new meaning to the phrase “rear-ended”.

    Seriously, this anthropomorphizing of motor vehicles must stop before our cars start spreading disease through anal car sex, and demanding the right to marry each other.

  27. Scandalabra

    [re=196086]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: My favorite wingnut characterization of Barry was “this shallow, ignorant, self-absorbed man…” I forgot which dickwad said it, but I think it was in the WaPo.

  28. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=196222]Scandalabra[/re]: What exactly DID the primary do to our Trusted National Newspapers?

  29. S.Luggo

    [re=196060]FreshCliches[/re]: It is not the America that we know and love.

    [re=196145]WadISay[/re]: That’s because you failed to sign your question “Your Next Secretary of State”.

    [re=196043]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Changeyness.gov will not be useful
    until it has a search engine that will allow one to find important questions such as:
    “If you move to a fortified compound in Wyoming, will you be beyond US jurisdiction? – Dick C.”
    “Can a President-elect grant someone a full pardon, you fucking asshole? – Rod B.”
    “Bro’? – JJ Jr.”

  30. AmazingLarry

    Remember ladies, when you’re working the POTUS, mind the SCOTUS. Cosmo will tell ya that every time.

  31. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=196241]S.Luggo[/re]: “Am a an insane lunatic?” -O.J. Simpson

    The Change website would probably be more effective if it was run by an ‘merican sitzin and not a British Kenyan.

  32. Mahousu

    Unfortunately, it appears Obama really is aware of all Internet traditions …

    … but doesn’t seem to care for most of them.

  33. cal

    [re=196134]TGY[/re]: I believe someone has already patented “CarCuntz,” which would seem to be the natural companion to TruckNitz.

  34. robanybody

    Hey, by John the Blogger’s reasoning about “illegitimate presidents,” the last eight years have all been a dream. Sort of like “Dallas” in the 80s, when J.R. wasn’t really shot.

    Dude’s old.

  35. Mahousu

    Good questions are starting to show up, finally ([sic] on spellings):

    Will you allow the press to review the contents of your Blackberry and to read your emails to support you claim you knew nothing about the Govn of Ill. attempting to sell your senate seat? tom, st louis

    I’m going to go with a “no” on that one, Tom.

    Why won’t you give any details about your trip to Pakistan in 1981? … Were you searching for your identity? Were you just visiting your Pakistani roommate’s family? – Paul, San Antonio, TX

    Duh, Paul, he was fighting the Rooskies in Afghanistan. Didn’t you see Charlie Wilson’s War??

Comments are closed.