JOURNALISM  4:44 pm December 10, 2008

A Good Question Exists On Change.gov, For Once!

by Jim Newell

Wonkette hope-troll operative “Xavier” sends us this question that appears (or at least appeared briefly) on the humorless intellectual black snob website, Change.gov. Finally, some red meat from that trashy nerd emporium! But no, WALNUTS!, you cannot be president.

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 69 comments }

shortsshortsshorts December 10, 2008 at 4:47 pm

There is absolutely no hope of trolling that website. I said some things that weren’t even remotely offensive and my comments were magically blown out of the room like a cannon.

Come here a minute December 10, 2008 at 4:49 pm

Why does change.gov hate TRUCKNUTZ?????!?!?1!

ForTheTurnstiles December 10, 2008 at 4:49 pm

Meanwhile, we find out that the likely next prime minister of Canada, Liberal Party leader Michael Ignatieff, is neither Liberal nor Canadian, but a good ol’ Iraq-invading Republican.

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D01E1D6173EF937A25750C0A9629C8B63&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all

Actually you can tell he’s a Canuck by the overearnest second thoughts he admits to having about it.

persiflage December 10, 2008 at 4:51 pm

Where’s the box to flag as illiterate?

SayItWithWookies December 10, 2008 at 4:52 pm

A: You should be more concerned about learning to speak Indonesian, motherfucker.

NoWireHangers December 10, 2008 at 4:53 pm

I read POTUS and thought punany. Who calls it POTUS? SCOTUS fine, but even that is irritating. Now my POTUS is irritated.

Sussemilch December 10, 2008 at 4:53 pm

“Is it true that John McCain died in late September and his reanimated corpse was puppeteered through the remainder of the campaign just to provide the people with a consistent reason to vote for the opposition?”

FreshCliches December 10, 2008 at 4:54 pm

Just like Aretha, that question makes me feel like a natrual woman.

LittlePig December 10, 2008 at 4:54 pm

[re=196054]persiflage[/re]: Not just illiterate, but ignorant as well. Any voiding would be done on conviction, not impeachment.

Change.gov allows wingnuts but not TRUCKNUTZ? Ladies and gentlemen, is this America?

Texan Bulldoggette December 10, 2008 at 4:54 pm

[re=196054]persiflage[/re]: There should be a box to check where the people with half a brain get to determine if the questioner gets to stay in the US or gets shipped off to Siberia for a lovely wintertime vacay.

dougbob December 10, 2008 at 4:56 pm

crawford ranch is the new siberia

Toomush Infermashun December 10, 2008 at 4:56 pm

POTUS is, I believe, just north of SCROTUS on the taint map….

PrairiePossum December 10, 2008 at 4:59 pm

Now, isn’t that cute — the Palins are letting Trig play with the computer.

shortsshortsshorts December 10, 2008 at 5:01 pm

Here is a compilation of all the things Barry has been referred to by the wingnuts:

Barack-Hussain-Nazi-Fascist-Terrorist-Socialist-Communist-British-Uppity-Elitist-Bottomfeeding-Osama-NoObama.

When you put the name all together in context, doesn’t it start to ALL MAKE SENSE?

freakishlystrong December 10, 2008 at 5:02 pm

I think if you’re going to accuse someone of not being a natrual born citizen you should at least be able to spell it?

shortsshortsshorts December 10, 2008 at 5:05 pm

[re=196076]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: “MUSLIM Communist Athiest.”
Dammit.

Carrie_Okie December 10, 2008 at 5:07 pm

[re=196078]freakishlystrong[/re]: after 8 yrs of “nukular?”
I think nott.

Toomush Infermashun December 10, 2008 at 5:08 pm

freakishlystrong: I believe that is the original, “natrual” spelling, favored by traditional fundamentalists on most ranches south of the Alleghenies…

S.Luggo December 10, 2008 at 5:09 pm

“When will you make your Hajj?”

Kev-O-Tron December 10, 2008 at 5:09 pm

[re=196076]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Funny. That’s my name too. I always thought it was pretty uncommon.

NoWireHangers December 10, 2008 at 5:11 pm

[re=196068]Toomush Infermashun[/re]:
COTUS is when POTUS and SCOTUS meet.

chowkster December 10, 2008 at 5:11 pm

[re=196086]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You missed Kenyan-Indonesian-Manchurian

S.Luggo December 10, 2008 at 5:12 pm

“When will you announce Rod Blagojevich as new ambassador to Illinois?”

rev_matt_y December 10, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Shouldn’t it be SCOTUSA and POTUSA? I mean, not to be a stickler or anything but the official name of the country IS “United States of America”. And if you’re enough of a dickhead to use things like “POTUS” or “SCOTUS”* then shouldn’t you go all the way?

*political and legal reporters exempted, as otherwise their fingers might fall off with how often they type that shit out.

gurukalehuru December 10, 2008 at 5:20 pm

Actually, I’m fairly impressed that this site exists and that they manage to keep Bozos like us off it. (I would never join any club that would have me as a member, bla, bla, bla)

They must have a sizable crew of literate people who are actually reading the comments and thinking about them for a second. It is an internet first.

rockstarjoe December 10, 2008 at 5:20 pm

Could Obama microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?

Toomush Infermashun December 10, 2008 at 5:20 pm

NoWireHangers: Thanks, I always thought that was SCROTUP, as in “Honey, now that we’re all SCROTUP, how will we ever disentangle….?”

bago December 10, 2008 at 5:20 pm

I said some things that weren’t even remotely offensive and my comments were magically blown out of the room like a cannon.

Surely you meant “blown like a black man in a florida restroom”.

freakishlystrong December 10, 2008 at 5:25 pm

[re=196088]Carrie_Okie[/re]: [re=196089]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: Y’all are correct, he shoulda just said ‘Murican…

freakishlystrong December 10, 2008 at 5:25 pm

[re=196111]bago[/re]: Oh, Bago..

american mutt December 10, 2008 at 5:29 pm

[re=196111]bago[/re]: Is that where I should go?

TGY December 10, 2008 at 5:31 pm

As an aside, I believe this nation can be significantly improved by a companion product to TruckNutz. Yes, I’m talking about TruckButtz! See…you get some plastic hineys…

glamourdammerung December 10, 2008 at 5:33 pm

The retards need to get the fuck over it.

Their candidate lost.

And they bitch about how Democrats try to “steal elections”….

Canmon (the Inadequate) December 10, 2008 at 5:34 pm

“Can I cook a frozen turkey without defrosting it? If so, how many minutes per pound will it take at 350 degrees?”

WadISay December 10, 2008 at 5:35 pm

“Kan I haz bailout now?” was met with a courtesy which I can only describe as scant.

peachgirl December 10, 2008 at 5:37 pm

[re=196066]dougbob[/re]: Might as well make it the new Siberia, W sure won’t be going there anytime soon. He’ll be clearing brush in North Dallas and Patagonia (=South Dallas).

Carrie_Okie December 10, 2008 at 5:42 pm

Will the first trucknutz be whore diamond encrusted?

NoWireHangers December 10, 2008 at 5:44 pm

[re=196086]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: MUSLIM? MUSLIN. Fixed.

Min December 10, 2008 at 5:45 pm

What’s “natrual”? Is it anything like nukuler?

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 10, 2008 at 5:46 pm

Are you at all concerned that when it comes out that your real father and mother were killed in the destruction of Krypton, that your wife and children may be at risk of attack from Bizzaro-Obama?

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 10, 2008 at 5:47 pm

Is it true that you will reject from working in your administration anyone who has been circumcised?

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 10, 2008 at 5:48 pm

A secret Muslim/Communist says what?

psychedelicSludge December 10, 2008 at 5:50 pm

The true unspoken fear of the wingnuts is that Obama might not actually be a “natural born killer”.

Neon Trotsky December 10, 2008 at 5:51 pm

I think the real question here is, “How will President-elect Obama escape this cunning intellectual trap?”

psychedelicSludge December 10, 2008 at 5:52 pm

Are you concerned that after it is discovered that your bowels were voided before inauguration, any tuxedos or other rentals you may have made – in – will be rendered indefatigable?

mpslim December 10, 2008 at 5:56 pm

SCROTUM…PODIUM…IMMODIUM!! A magical spell that takes the nausia away after licking TRUCKNUTZ!!

I learned it at Hogwarts yo

mpslim December 10, 2008 at 6:06 pm

Are you concerned about your repressed homosexual tendancies and the possibility of being discovered sucking cock in the truckstop bathroom? Do you wake in the middle of the night clutching your bits and curling into the fetal position and crying for Jebus? Are you worried that you will be caught eating boogers one fateful afternoon at your auto parts job in the TRUCKNUTZ section? If a tree falls on your trailer will a bear in an alternate universe shit on your favorite Blue Collar Comedy DVD ?

The answer to these and other thrilling questions in next week’s episode of SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Who,Moi? December 10, 2008 at 6:34 pm

Do you think he will answer my question, what to do about THIS?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/its-official-men-really-are-the-weaker-sex-1055688.html

zetetic December 10, 2008 at 6:38 pm

[re=196134]TGY[/re]: If someone starts selling TruckButtz, won’t the next step be the front-mounted BumperDick? It would give a whole new meaning to the phrase “rear-ended”.

Seriously, this anthropomorphizing of motor vehicles must stop before our cars start spreading disease through anal car sex, and demanding the right to marry each other.

Scandalabra December 10, 2008 at 6:57 pm

[re=196086]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: My favorite wingnut characterization of Barry was “this shallow, ignorant, self-absorbed man…” I forgot which dickwad said it, but I think it was in the WaPo.

President Beeblebrox December 10, 2008 at 7:02 pm

[re=196164]NoWireHangers[/re]: No, no! HALF-BREED MUSLIN.

shortsshortsshorts December 10, 2008 at 7:32 pm

[re=196222]Scandalabra[/re]: What exactly DID the primary do to our Trusted National Newspapers?

S.Luggo December 10, 2008 at 8:03 pm

[re=196060]FreshCliches[/re]: It is not the America that we know and love.

[re=196145]WadISay[/re]: That’s because you failed to sign your question “Your Next Secretary of State”.

[re=196043]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Changeyness.gov will not be useful
until it has a search engine that will allow one to find important questions such as:
“If you move to a fortified compound in Wyoming, will you be beyond US jurisdiction? – Dick C.”
“Can a President-elect grant someone a full pardon, you fucking asshole? – Rod B.”
“Bro’? – JJ Jr.”

AmazingLarry December 10, 2008 at 9:22 pm

Remember ladies, when you’re working the POTUS, mind the SCOTUS. Cosmo will tell ya that every time.

shortsshortsshorts December 10, 2008 at 9:36 pm

[re=196241]S.Luggo[/re]: “Am a an insane lunatic?” -O.J. Simpson

The Change website would probably be more effective if it was run by an ‘merican sitzin and not a British Kenyan.

Mahousu December 10, 2008 at 9:38 pm

Unfortunately, it appears Obama really is aware of all Internet traditions …

… but doesn’t seem to care for most of them.

cal December 10, 2008 at 10:23 pm

[re=196134]TGY[/re]: I believe someone has already patented “CarCuntz,” which would seem to be the natural companion to TruckNitz.

cal December 10, 2008 at 10:25 pm

[re=196287]cal[/re]: Nutz

riffin1 December 10, 2008 at 10:29 pm

British/Kenyan = Halfrican

bonsai pajamas December 10, 2008 at 10:54 pm

POTUS plural is POTII.

House of Yes December 10, 2008 at 11:18 pm

[re=196108]rockstarjoe[/re]: best random comment

shortsshortsshorts December 10, 2008 at 11:27 pm

Terrorists warm their burritos with Barry.
Consider the fakts.

robanybody December 11, 2008 at 12:48 am

Hey, by John the Blogger’s reasoning about “illegitimate presidents,” the last eight years have all been a dream. Sort of like “Dallas” in the 80s, when J.R. wasn’t really shot.

Dude’s old.

House of Yes December 11, 2008 at 12:49 am

thank you shorts x’s 3 for the fakts

Danoz December 11, 2008 at 4:04 am

test

shanemcgowan December 11, 2008 at 8:36 am

[re=196072]PrairiePossum[/re]: Win.

Mahousu December 11, 2008 at 8:38 am

Good questions are starting to show up, finally ([sic] on spellings):

Will you allow the press to review the contents of your Blackberry and to read your emails to support you claim you knew nothing about the Govn of Ill. attempting to sell your senate seat? tom, st louis

I’m going to go with a “no” on that one, Tom.

Why won’t you give any details about your trip to Pakistan in 1981? … Were you searching for your identity? Were you just visiting your Pakistani roommate’s family? – Paul, San Antonio, TX

Duh, Paul, he was fighting the Rooskies in Afghanistan. Didn’t you see Charlie Wilson’s War??

Mahousu December 11, 2008 at 8:39 am

Oops, lost the end tag there.

Aquannissiwamissoo December 11, 2008 at 9:46 am

I knows the answer !!!

POTUS Interruptus !1!!

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