Wonkette
FIVE-DOLLAR GEORGE W. BUSH GIFT GUIDE: “Nothing says Kwanzaa, or ‘good will,’ like choosing a cheap, mean George W. Bush-themed trinket for your idiot relatives who actually voted for that clown.” [AOL Political Machine]
SEXY SANTA
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I’ll take a Barbara used shot glass from 2002 for $3.50, Ken.
This is a Patriotic magazine!!! WOW! I guess that makes me a real “Joe the Plumber American” after all, since only REAL AMERICANS are patriotic and thusly would read a ‘patriotic magazine’ like the Wonkette!’
Hmmm, looks like our esteemed editor has been shopping the clearance aisle at the Dollar Tree again.
You’re going to bunch 22% of the population’s panties up with that one Ken, Dammit, no comments yet!
Oh my god, I almost choked on my apple. Those bears….they are terrifying. And the patch. Just why? Why?
freakishlystrong: the first one has posted:
KilgoreTrout XL4:15PMDec 10th 2008
Or a George W. Bush “muslin/terr!” burning kit, which is actually just “gasoline in a mason jar w/ a fuse”, available everywhere, if you know how to siphon from gas tanks (choose American cars their caps don’t lock) and steal sh*t from mom’s cupboard, like a jar, and the muslins are all around you, just find someone who looks like BARRY HUSSEIN: light fuse get away go america!
Merry Christmas, white power, go to SF u homos, die muslins die.
/that was f*cking cathartic.
Doglessliberal: I think Ken wrote that one hisself…
@Dogless
Dude! JOKING, OBVS. Jeez.
What do you give the man who has ruined everything?
KilgoreTrout_XL: I knew that. The Muslins was the clue.
HAHA! Thank god, um, I mean I totally knew that, america, fuck yeah.
The mouth on that patch is just too Clutch Cargo.
What about Cheney-style gifts? A gross of Hopey Commemorative Plates would be a good substitute for sporting clays.
The paper dolls are fucking amazing. Imagine if you glued them to magnet backing. Imagine!
Ken Layne, you are the ranting, condemning Old Testament Prophet Jeremiah of our time calling down contempt and blame our unrighteous king.
I now believe that the O.T. is full of eye-rolling, hilarious snark that got lost in translation. I demand that Biblical scholars look into this, at once.
KilgoreTrout_XL: it was waaaay to literate to be real.
KilgoreTrout_XL: Hahaha it must have been a damn good comment, then.
I’d like to see a George Dubya Bush skull-f*cking sex doll. The tagline could be, “Finally, you’ll know what’s going on in his head.”
tunamelt: If those dresses could be cut to knee- or minidress-length, then you could reenact “Jenna and Barbara Get Busted for Underage Drinking” for your very own Bush Family Puppet Theater…
Bush family paper dolls = The Aristocrats.
Awesome! Now I know what to give my wingnut relatives.
I swear. Tom Tierney will make paperdolls of anyone.
The horror.
On the hand, pretty damn cheap.
S.Luggo: Sorry, “on the other hand”.
In this time of the Bush-Caused hobo distress, I reflexively avoid wasting adjectives.
A five Dollar gift: a Blago bribe.
Another Bush five dollar gift: electrified genital clamps left over from Abu Ghraib,
Will look fab flashing on small town square Christmas Tree boughs.
Chimpy voodoo doll, please.
I wonder if the paper doll kit comes with all of Jenna’s outfits made in such a way that her skirt is always pulled up over her head. Probably does if this was made back during her college days.
This could be your last chance to have a little piece of The Worst President Ever crap. Priceless.
AOLtards are priceless with their gifts to the English language and whatnot…
Fred Marziale 9:03PMDec 10th 2008
However, this person who will now be President of these United States Barrack Hussein Obama, was never really vented by you idots called the “media press”.
If anyone needs some venting, its BHO, cigarette smokes gotta go somewheres…
The Church of Realism: Yes, that’s definitely the best one so far! I especially liked how he put Chicago in scare-quotes, as if he doubts it’s real. Probably some fairy tale land invented by the liberal elites to breed terrists.