Wonkette
The fact that David “Diaperfuck” Vitter is leading the Senate charge against the auto bailout makes Wonkette want to give as much money as possible to the automakers. Anyway, ha, this clip is a basket of Wonders. Like a frightening tool, Vitter is shown around :40, on the Senate floor, first saying that the bailout deal is “putting the cart before the horse.” Then he hesitates, looks down in fear, and resolves to go for it: “Isn’t that… [weird facial expression] to use a common phrase… just ass-backwards?” David that is just foul!
The cut then switches to MSNBC: At 2:17, the MSNBC reporter says the “phrase” and tries to justify using it on air for 10 seconds; at 3:42, the MSNBC mean anchor lady CHASTISES the reporter for using the “phrase;” at 6:05, Norah O’Donnell appears, hopped up on lots of Xanax, and makes fun of the mean anchor lady. She giggles for 15 seconds. At 6:31 a terrifying, unrelated thing begins. Be warned.
[YouTube]
SKS is the new Drudge. She set this ass agenda this morning. SKS rulz.
diaper diaper diaper wearing hooker fucker.
Wait until the segment right after that where he sez:
“Come on, you guys! This bailout plan is so fucked, it’s like putting a diaper on your head and sticking a pacifier up your ass… oh my, mmmmhmm. Yessss… “
Ass jokes are so much more difficult then dick jokes!
*HEAD EXPODES*
A technical question: If your ass is backwards, does that mean you shit IN? Doesn’t sound sustainable to me, but I know there are some who can do it.
He’s from Louisiana. He knows a lot about ass backwards.
And the moral fabric of a nation unravels like a cheap skirt.
When the hooker put the diaper on wrong-side out, was that “ass backwards”. There’s a lot to work with here…
robanybody: If anyone would know, it’d be Senator Huggies.
Let me see if I have this straight:
Bailing out Detroit, not good. Bailing out New Orleans, meh.
Is her name Contessa? Like she thinks she’s some kind of third-rate royalty? She does seem to have something up her ass…
Vitter later added:
“We shouldn’t just pamper the Big 3, nor just wipe away their troubles with a fiscal baby wipe. I’m pretty sure that the US Taxpayer is going to soil themselves over the cost of the bailout. How are going to keep this attitude to help these leaking car companies from spilling over to other industries? We can’t be the nanny nation and put all our businesses in Huggies…”
Who else skipped straight to 6:31 and was terribly disappointed?
So this means Vitter is supporting the bailout? I didn’t read the article but I assume ass backward = awesome to David Vitter.
“The Republicans will go down swinging, if they go down at all.”
Repubs expected to tweak Vitters colon. Video at 5.
Hey, remember folks, that the DC anal sex queen was married today, so naturally ASS is at the forefront of everyone’s thoughts today!!! (I mean MORE than usual, as ASS and ASSFUCKING are top priorities in DC year-round)
Yes Vits, “ass backwards” would be a common phrase-for you.
Woodwards Friend: When you assume you make an ass out of You and Me-I just wanted another ass post I guess.
thedownlows: Were “diaper loving” to involve hooker banging. It’s far more pathetic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism#Common_fantasy_elements
That thing at 6:31 wasn’t terrifying at all. Of course, having wathced the entire Zoo Race video from yesterday, nothing can every terrify me again.
BTW:
Vitter will be opposed to the US auto bailout so long as Detroit cars aren’t required to have changing tables.
Don’t be too hard on him re “ass backwards”, folks.
That’s why he needs a diaper
“15 Billion Dollars” is the new “Apply directly to the forehead”.
Uncle Al: Contessa Brewer. A WHOLE bunch of “yum” going on there. She was a local NBC affiliate anchor here before moving on up to MSNBC, and I had the opportunity to see her in a sheer black blouse with local NBC affiliate lighting, ifyannowutImean.
Would it be ass backwards if two women charged with prostitution killed themselves, and their famous Senator client walked?
My grandmother actually prefers ukfugley…just sayin’…
ManchuCandidate: “… yet the nation depends on us to tighten our waistbands and protect them from an economic explosion that would stain our nation’s underwear for a generation.”
He said ‘ass backwards’ because ‘ass forwards’ just didn’t have the right ring to it.
I bet an aide slipped that line into his speech on a dare/double-Dare/triple-dog-dare.
aide A:”Bet you cant make the congressman say ASS on the floor of the house!”
Aide B: “I could but it would be wrong”
Aide A: “I dare you!”
aide B: “No, It is not proper decorum
Aide a: I double-dare you, NO i TRIPLE-DOG-DARE YOU!”
and that is how you ended up with a congressman saying the word ASS on national TV as well into the congressional record.
And a little warm water aint removing this little tidbit from the digital ‘flagpole’. it will always be out there for all to see.. and will be used repeatedly in his opponents ads in 1-1/2 years.
obfuscator: Sean Penn?
Does he not know the humorous — in a Larry Tate and Darrin Stevens kickin’ it down at the ad agency kind of way — manner in which to utter the phrase is “ack-basswards”? Slyly self-reflexive and likely to slip by mean anchor ladies, who will have to pretend — as part of a projection of on-air moral rectitude — not to know the original phrase, thereby depriving them of the basis on which to scold.
Yes, it was ass-backwards. This was seen as preferable to ass-forwards, since the majority were looking forward to putting this shit behind them.
S.Luggo: I stand duly corrected. Thanks for the fetish clarification.
diaper wearing, hooking paying, traditional marriage ruining douche will have to do.
Diaper or no diaper? I say Depends on the situation.
Where can I find something about Vitter and diapers? His Wiki page claims that his dealings with hookers were purely vanilla.
She also prefers David “Vit” Shitter, although it just doesn’t make the problem go away…
Our Wonkette already has a chatroom, full of profanity, sex, and coke-fueled rampaging hormones. And that’s just when ShortsShortsShorts is present. Stop by some time, when you’re bored at your “job”.
http://wonkette.chatango.com
This is no snark, and I don’t claim to be a psychological expert who can read personalities from a couple of scripted minutes, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and venture a wild guess that this Contessa lady doesn’t have a lot of friends. It’s a shame, pretty lady like that.
I’m dissapointed, I just figured that Contessa’s grandmother was a Wonkette commenter because I her driving is so eco-friendly. But is she is offended by ass backwards, I don’t think she would do to well here.
the term IS “bass-ackwards”… I am gay so for the mean anchor lady “Contessa” indeed. also provokes satisfying imagery of republican congressmen in diapers full of wriggling fish. uh huh.
Hey! I just watched it — yeah, I comment about things I haven’t seen, sue me — and “The Contessa” does say “bass ackwards”! That’s the whole riff. My bad. Funny stuff.
southernfried: yes, those of us so inclined WOULD like to bass Contessa ackwards….
But I really haven’t been paying attention to the Diaperman - is he really suggesting that, next time, the auto execs drive out to Washington, they should do it in reverse…?
Stop hatin’ on Contessa… she is clearly joking around.
Toomush Infermashun: She does have the general demeanor of someone who in their off-hours likes to be vigorously bent over furniture.
southernfried: Okay, I’ll bite: bent which way….wait for it….
Bass ackwards? That’s fudging pathetic! Lemme guess, her gyno has to say “Now I need to draw your lady-curtains and tiptoe up the velvet hallway”?
FreshCliches: I do not think Vitter really gives a shit (in his diaper) if New Orleans gets repaired or not. After all, it got a lot of blacks and queers (the ones that were not in the Republican Party) to move away.
How dare you. Sen. Vitter is just looking out for the United States. He knows very well that putting the cart before the horse or going assbackwards cost twice as much as the normal positions.
Fuck the bailout, if it’s assbackwards or bassackwards, I’m worried about what will happen to the taint”, is it still taint? Oh, and by the way, fuck her grandmother, her taint is all dried up anyway
Wonder if there’s an offer out from FoxNews just for that one testy performance.
Somebody buy that idiot a hooker that diapers his ass and then he will set in the corner and be quiet while adults take care of things! Why is he in the Senate, for comedy relief?
Somebody buy that idiot a hooker so he will quietly sit in the corner and let adults take care of this!!!
at this point isn’t 15 billion dollars worth like about what 45 cents was worth last year?
How would I go about getting disciplined by Contessa Brewer?
In my family we always said - Bass half ackwards.
Bass ackwards or ass backwards - all I want to know is did it result in any santorum?
Xanax or no, Norah is like the cool girl in high school making fun of the bass-kissing girl who desperately wants to be on homecoming court. I half expected Norah to pull a cig out of her leather jacket and blow a smoke ring at Contessa, while openly mocking her.
Team Xanax?
Watching Republicans contort themselves into the “Government Bailing Out Big Industry is EVIL” party is like imagining the ladies at the Cadillac Ranch primly demanding abstinance for all.
Another GOP salt of the earth.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
FreshCliches: Conty is a communications major. Respect yourself.
Vitter meant to say, “Diaper Backwards.” Let’s forgive and forget.
I’ve been to Louisiana . . . They do most things wrong, and I’m a boob guy, but I still think I would have noticed if their asses were frontwards.
wickedlittledoll: GOP? Blago is a Chicago Dem, which puts him in the same category as the Medicis.
http://profile.ak.facebook.com/object2/1977/108/l9367545725_3987.jpg
The space shuttle crew. Outer space is beyond the arrest power of the Illinois US Attorney and there is no extradition treaty with Seti 9.
How much did NASA have to pay not to have Blago on board? In quatloos.
“…shamed Illinois governor …”. Narrow that down, yup?
So, I’m driving home from work and on NPR Senator DeMint (from SC, so you know what his party is) says that the bailout left “a bad taste in the members of Congress’ mouth”. Multiple mouths, so perhaps there’s an orgy going on?
His reference to unions being barnacles around one’s neck shows that he is also skilled in terrible mixed metaphors.
hockeymom: brilliant
hockeymom: Norah looked so badass (or is that ad-bass) in her street biker outfit today.
Taking mild offense to bad, badder, and reallly bad Louisiana jokes here. David Vitter (R) only represents about, oh, I’d say 60% of us. The rest of us never leave New Orleans where we make a living performing services for the 60% and make fun of them when they leave. And we drink.
Oooo, you blue state punks think you’re so cool with your lattes, your wine bars, your high colonic enemas (oo-la-la), and your sex without diapers!
Joe Scarborough is just glad the reporter didn’t actually say the word “ass” on the air.
Cupid Stunt.
Norah O’Donnell? But I thought that she was reporter rather a Two-penny Upright?
http://possumblog.mu.nu/images/norah%20odonnell-small.jpg
Weary, so disillusioned. Can nothing ever remain pure?
Silly Vitter. If he’d only said “bass-ackwards,” he’d have been fine.