Wonkette
Wonkette Operative “Michael C” reports that this TARP-bailout hearing at the House is providing endless lulz. Why is Illinois Rep. Pete Roskam jabbering about tapping people’s backsides and the “greased chute of government”? Because he’s a Republican! It’s all about ass.
Rep. Pete Roskam (R-Ill) just twice referred to the “greased chute of government” in regards to the TARP Epic Fail program during the House Financial Services hearing. Roskam: “What we’re dealing with today is the greased chute of government.”
Minutes later he said there was “sort of a pat you on the head, tap you on the backside” given to critics of mark-to-market accounting rules.
TARP OVERSIGHT HEARING [C-SPAN]
And the next morning, after all the hot greased chutes and liquidity-injecting, the government just claimed it had “stuff to do” and snuck out. Didn’t even call me the next day.
I’d tarp that.
To wit a joke Kevotron once told:
Why dont Republican Senators use book marks?
They can just bend the pages over.
Greased chutes? I’m surprised. I figured these guys like it rough.
Chutes and ladders politics.
So Rep. Pete Roskam is the Illinois Enema Bandit?
Constantly talking about pork and thinking in terms of buttsecks–the House Republican caucus is basically just those hillbilly’s from “Deliverance” dressed up like city folk…
shortsshortsshorts: badda BING!
Serolf Divad: That’s if they’re underaged. Sweet loving is reserved for their daddies.
MoodProcessor: I heard he’s on the loose!
Save some grease for the chutes of the taxpayers
NEVER 4GET!!!1!
There’s been nothing greased about any of these bailouts. It more of the “grab your ankles and brace yourself” chute of government. Which is actually the regular chute of government. I thought everyone knew we switched to this terminology.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
(Thanks Blazing Saddles)
Whip out your bucks,
IM your pass,
tap on his toes,
Talk about ass,
you’ll be surprised,
you’re doing the Republican!
Come on try those ass innuendos,
15 million closeted men can’t be wrong,
weeee
Whip out your bucks,
IM your pass,
tap on his toes,
Talk about ass,
you’ll be surprised,
you’re doing the Republican!
Voila!
Minutes later he said there was “sort of a pat you on the head, tap you on the backside” given to critics of mark-to-market accounting rules.
I didn’t know the Congressional pages felt so strongly about mark-to-market.
“Greased chutes?” I just can’t deal with this avalanche of snark-ready news…This prepackaged stuff is just WAY too easy!
Joe the Plumber’s Quality Chute Grease, only $4.99 at WalMart.
Taints And Greased Chutes. I remember seeing them at the Beacon in the 80s.
ManchuCandidate: It’s like steam escaping!
I can’t wait until the hearings move on to the big 3 automakers and Rep. Roskam starts taking about smoking tail pipes and backseat shenanagans.
Check out http://rubberstamproskam.com/2008/04/29/peter-roskam-declares-war-on-naughty-bits/. Apparently the chute-greaser was a sponsor of a bill to keep Playboy magazine out of the hands of our troops.
Ken, why are you posting about Larry Craig and Mark Foley again…
wait, what?
Republicans…. Republicans, come on over here. I got to explain something to you.
The anus is a really great hole, no one’s saying the anus isn’t great, I’ve always been a friend of the anus. But you guys should really check out anus’s neighbor, the vagina. Your whole (hehe, “whole”) world doesn’t have to be about the anus!
I’ve been trying, but I just can’t squeeze an “ass” pun into December. De-anal-ber? Decemb-sphincter? Nothing works. So it’s just a day of dumb buttsechs jokes, no big seasonal thing going on at all.
Iggy Plop: Merry Chrism-ass
Tap tap tap!
Super Tubers will be served at the house cafeteria
Iggy Plop: It’s a stretch but howzabout ChristmASS?
The Repugs are always goin’ down the dirt road. If they don’t watch out they could get rear-ended.
…he was probably referring to the annual Republican Greased Pole climb!
Iggy Plop: Duh. “Decembutt.”
Thanks I’ll be her greasing chutes all week…
MoodProcessor: Nice! A win for FZ.
ManchuCandidate: Manchu-WIN.
You need a fairly wide stance for a greased chute I’m thinkin’..
Because he’s a Republican! It’s all about ass.
Which is why Repubs are always the butt of Wonkette’s jokes. What? Someone had to say it.
bhosp: Ah, I would prefer that Republicans stay the fuck away from my vagina, in all matters sexual and legislative. Sorry pageboys, we all gotta take one for the team.
He’s just one more satisfied grease-job customer: http://illinoisreview.typepad.com/illinoisreview/images/roskam3.jpg
I think the clear play for this month is Dickcember.
“Call in to work gay” day has just been a big failure
hedgehog: Season Reamings?
bhosp: DVDA-cember!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_vaginal,_double_anal#Multiple_penetration
hedgehog:
Ass-ember
Iggy Plop: Merry Cornhole and a Happy New Queer?
Dude dropped his purse.
Chapter 12 of “Why Daddy is a Republican”
Hey, I voted for Change on Nov. 4. So why isn’t the eagle a blingee yet? Christ, who do I have to blow to get…Oh, Sen. Craig, good to see ya!
HA! Who ever thought that ass-fucking jokes would be tired and unfunny? Ass-fucking jokes will NEVER go out of style.
Really gotta hand it to these Repubs, their codewords are even better than the fundies. Yes, yes, I realize there’s a whole lotta overlap there, but it warms the cockles of my heart to know that these phrases are being uttered in our legislative chambers.
freakishlystrong: WIN.
mattbolt: Didn’t we all agree on Jizzember last year?
Iggy Plop: You have no Christm-ass spirit.
Roskam reps the DuPage County district in IL, with the state’s highest property taxes and the lowest levels of consciousness. From Mt. Prospect on the north (bring oxygen to the summit — the sherpas are Korean, for some reason, so everything is dry cleaned) to Napertucky in the lush, tropical South, it’s a different country on the dark side of O’Hare, and not one I’d move to without a really splendid reason. Roskam’s response to accusations of double entendre may be to accuse Wonkette of witchcraft. Amish are forbidden in DuPage as being too liberal a sect (they allow facial hair).
“Fist-iv-ass, for the cris-co-pants”… or something.
Congressman Roskam’s credo: “Why call into work gay, when you can go into work gay?”
Eagle has a sad! He has no parachute, unlike the eagles in “Why Daddy is a Republican”,and Eagle needs a parachute to land in the senate seat he was trying to buy from Blago.
Won’t Santa help out a sad eagle and get him a parachute for Christmas?
What you don’t know is Rep. Pete Roskam’s district has the largest Crisco plant in mid west and he is deep deep in the…pockets(?)…of the fisting lobby.
So how soon will Obama’s huge package enter the greased chute of government?
tunamelt: WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Mista Eko: I’m pretty sure it was Dickcember and Jizzuary.