Wonkette
Good gravy, we really did not intend to do nothing today except make dirty jokes about lascivious demons with fiendishly specialized sexual equipment, but then Time throws out this headline, and what are we supposed to do, ignore it? The lower half of this photograph (not pictured) shows Barack Obama furtively shielding his genitals from Rod Blagojevich’s insidious, creeping taint. RUN, BARRY!!! [Time]
Tain’t Misbehavin’!
He may avoid the taint, but he’ll probably get smacked with his ball-sack.
It makes sense. During the clip outside the courthouse, Rod DID have the look of a man who would teabag anybody who looked at him sideways.
Dear Shameless Washington Media Whores:
Please die in a fire and allow real journalists to write something other than RNC talking points, like the truth, for example. Thanks.
Sincerely yours,
America
Can you believe Blagodicks went to work Today? Shit, that’s some tainted ass trucknutz right thar….
Does the merkin match the toupee?
Yeah, stay away from it Barry — you don’t want to come down with a bad case of taint creep.
Here’s how the Time “story” begins:
“On more than one occasion during his stunning press conference Tuesday, U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald bluntly said he has found no evidence of wrongdoing by President-elect Barack Obama….”
But that doesn’t stop the lazy-ass Time from its blithering headline.
I say good riddance to mainstream media. Is Time bankrupt yet?
A truly shocking portrait of the squalid, seamy, sweaty, reeking, lint-defiled underside of Chicago politics.
Proceed.
I just realized that I forgot to mention taints in my comment, so let me try again:
The Washington press corps is the unwashed, lice-infested taint of American democracy, so it is fitting that this headline refers to Blago’s.
Time is right. That carpet on blago’s head does look like it is trying to creep off and do some insidious business to anyone in its vicinity.
Oh, and Time, where was the headline about fuckin’ Delay’s taint? Dubya never had to escape from that, damn librul media.
Taint no sin.
Obama can shield himself with my adorable, fluffy taint. And I won’t even charge him like I do most people.
Why does that man have bangs? Honestly.
Uncle Al: The real story?
“Dear Wingnuts: We regret that your attempts to “investigate” Obama’s birth certificate has met with stone-cold rejection from pretty much every courtroom it has encountered. It is important to us that you continue posting hundreds of comments on our stories so that the illusion that said stories/us are insightful is maintained. Therefore, we offer you this early Christmas gift of taint so that your zeal to find SOMETHING negative to attach to Obama does not fail. Carry on.”
What the fuck was he doing in the “taint” in the first place.
Barry, that is soooo not, Keeping It Real.
The Taint That Ate Chicago
Call me cynical, but I doubt Bloggy’s taint will ever see the light of day.
What’s Blago got on his lapel? I assume it’s the FBI’s covert microphone.
Haven’t seen much in the news about this story. Did the governor of what’s it do something bad that Oba- what’s it knew about? Probably shouldn’t comment since I’ve no idea what’s happenin but notice that never stops anybody in this place and can’t stand to waste a jazzy comment like this one:
Ain’t no taint gonna stick to my saint.
Taint of Blagojevich:
2 oz. Smirnoff Vodka
1 oz. Serbian vaseline
1/2 tsp. cumin
dash of bitters
Shake
Serve with cocktail cherry and pimento
Remember the “Good Ol’ Days” when Mayors just smoked crack?
…if he tries to smother you with his taint, punch him in the balls Barry!
WadISay: No flag pin = no hidden microphone
Testing, testing. I bet Aquaman never has to worry about his taint. Except maybe when Aqualad gets a little too frisky.
norbizness: D’oh!
That hurt.
Say, who’s the chap on the right channeling Jack Benny?
I really want to thank the guy or gal who decided that the word “taint” should also refer to the fleshy bits that connect your butthole to your naughty parts. It makes watching the news and political shows a whole lot more enjoyable in a Beavis and Butthead sort of way.
So, if I get my picture taken with Santa, it’s assumed that we’re doing nutty bumpers?
Uncle Al: “But for politicians it’s never good news when a top-notch prosecutor has to go out of his way to distance you from a front-page scandal.”
One:
Fitzgerald didn’t go out of his way, he simply dismissed the question before it was asked.
Two:
The sentance should read: “For partisan Wingnuts, it’s never good news when a man with an unsullied reputation for honesty and impartiality strangles their fervent hope at birth.
BARRY AIN’T NO SAINT WITH SUCH TAINT
HE GUNNA FAINT WHEN HE GOTS DIS TAINT
I have no idea what the hell is going on. SPARE ME.
Canmon (the Inadequate): I am astonished and appalled there is even such a word, or thing, as a “merkin.” This is absolute proof that humans have too much free time. And I think it begs the question: Why would someone obtain and use a “merkin?” Who exactly would they be trying to impress, and how would that work?
Merkin. My god.
Will they tape the activities of Blago’s taint? That might be the one thing to finally kill Youtube.
honkeyman: all WIN!
actor212: I think that guy’s senior senator Dick Durbin. Which means Barry’s between Dick and the asshole. Which explains the story, really.
Women have a taint. The same area on men is called “smell island”.
Barry should back away from the taint or he’ll sprout an Afro-like pompodor hair like Blago! The Times are a bunch of blow holes that want to keep doubt/suspicion swirling about our great one Hopey - & just to sell their mud spew disguised as “journalism”. Blago should teabag taint everyone over at The Times.
We must surround Hopey with white, untainted light to protect him from the dark side.
robanybody: Blagodick’s taint will see the light of day.. Stay tuned to “Lockup Raw” for the video.
Mike Jacobs, a Democratic state senator and former friend of the governor, suggested that Mr. Blagojevich may have lost his grip on reality. “I’m not sure he’s playing with a full deck anymore,” Mr. Jacobs said.
And B-Vitch likes to channel Elvis…this explains the hair.
Hunk o hunk o burning love….
In the words of Dick W. Simpson, head of the political science department at the University of Illinois, Chicago, and a former city alderman: “It’s over the top, even for the governor.”
I mean, comm’on people! This ain’t DC.
For naughty-sounding headlines, Time’s got nothing on this beauty from CBS News.
So, we rocketed straight past the “whiff of wrongdoing” to the “taint of corruption” pretty quickly. At this rate, we’ll be at the “reeking stench of sinister, if poorly conceived, high crimes” by tomorrow.
For the first time in my adult life I am proud that I don’t vote.
actor212: That’s actually a Mr. Show reference from the “It’s Insane, This Guy’s Taint” episode (it was kind of a Boogie Nights parody). One of the competitor’s magazines was called “Neither Balls Nor Ass.”
Fecal, like everything else about Blaggo.
Will ‘Resolve’ carpet cleaner get that out? Or is it like when the cat urps.
OrBonwah: Or should you use club soda?
Sara — taint is great and all that, but I’m still hoping you will do a post on Ms. Blagoshit’s potty mouth. That couple is simply adorable!
What taint? Since he’s not a natural born citizen of these United Snakes, Barry’s not a legal resident Illinois and can’t be tainted thereby. The only body Barry’s answerable is the high court of Indonesia. Take that, Repubtards.
Is this a problem for our Barry? No taint.
Bonwah: Delightful. Should be an exemplar in future journalism classes.
How indeed will poor Barry escape? His chief in command may have turned this scumbag in, and said scumbag is on record hating Obama’s unwillingness to play ball? They are clearly almost as close as Obama and that Fannie Mae prick.
Bonwah: Do I send the bill for the keyboard covered in coffee to you or CBS?
BTW this reminds me of my favorite description of Time magazine, via Jon Stewart: “For those who like USA Today, but wish it were shinier.”
When you say “taint,” could you be a bit more specific?
I think they mean that Blaggy’s taint is like a blackhole and sucks everything around it into a world of not ass and not quite balls. Obama is standing so close to Blaggy that he is surely trapped within the “point of no return” unless he uses his boosters and the orbital momentum to whiplash himself out of the taint pull. I hear that is exactly what he did, and that at the last minute his ship has to jettison some weight, and so Dick Durbin was thrown into the taint and never seen again.
Did they include the quote from the tapes where Blago calls Hopey a maternal ancestor fornicator. I would think that that would be pretty strong taint repellent right there.
norbizness: I love you.
Dat taint dat ain’t wont stick cuz it caint da mans a saint
how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
So they’re both Dem politicians from the same corrupt state of Illinois. But that’s where the similarities end:
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2008/12/obama-and-blagojevich-as-different-as.html