Ha ha, we promised you more news from the Annals of Anal today, and here we have it, the blessed nuptials of the Washingtonienne! This young lady, Jessica Cutler, was briefly famous for keeping a blog about all the gentlemen in Washington she had dirty sex with. She got a book deal (whee!) and a lawsuit (boo!) and then she met some guy in a bar and she married him, early this week, wearing a “tasteful grey suit.” Mazel tov, kids! (Also note that Gawker’s sole and soon-to-be-gone female writer appears to be getting work from the Observer, which is nice.) [New York Observer]
SOCIETY PAGES
December 10, 2008
The Washingtonienne Gets Married
Previous post: Nation Of Poor Stock-Pickers And Corrupt Dillweeds
Next post: Joe The Plumber Sells Out John McCain
{ 44 comments }
Any day that features the hallowed Wonkette ass-fucking tag is a good day in my book.
I should have sent the happy couple some Truck Nutz for their enjoyment. I’m so sad I didn’t but, then again, I’m not.
“Shut up, Charles! What are you telling her?” “He doesn’t know what you should and shouldn’t say in front of reporters,” she added as an aside.
Oh, wow! Being catty to your husband on your wedding day! This shit’s gonna end up on the People’s Court in like, a month.
So, if you’re the guy… do you read the book? Do you REALLY want to think of all the pink-faced, greasy bureaucrats who’ve been there before on your honeymoon with your blushing bride?
I want to make fun of her and the people who boinked her but… God, I would so hit that!
Is she eating a Julie’s empanada in that pic in the Observer article?
“You know what to do, right?” one of his buddies asked Mr. Rubio, clapping him on the back. “I’ll have to teach him,” said Ms. Cutler, with deadpan wit.
Whip them early, whip them well and they’ll stay whipped. Hang on to this one, Jessica. He’s a gem.
Can today be WONKETTE LIVE & UNCUT day, where every post features cleavage and butthumping? When Jim wakes up can he make a post that has those 60s go-go girls in bikinis dancing as the picture, and write a 5-page erotic Bill Krisol/Peggy Noonan fan fiction?
Decolletage…
“The cake was brought out, a fleshtone affair in the shape of a derriere, with “to have and to hold” inscripted across each cheek.”
Butt cake?
[re=195343]mattbolt[/re]:Something tells me dudeman don’t care.
Offering KY Jelly as a wedding favor was a nice touch.
[re=195355]hedgehog[/re]:
I’m pretty sure it was the base for the cake frosting.
The original Washingtonienne blog only lasted 13 days? I’ve had my blog for three years and it has never had any ass-fucking in it.
I think I recognize those tits
So, she’s married a bankruptcy lawyer. Jessica’s nothing if not practical. Sooner or later, she’ll need him.
Mazel boff!
I heard she had to work really hard on her “gape” in preparation for the wedding photographer.
Still a great book cover, even if Miz C doesn’t really do it for me.
Congrats to Jessica! Since I’m always surfing for prurient material, it was her story that got me reading Wonkette — for which I’ll always be grateful. Congrats to Wonkette, too, for continuing to concentrate on prurient material, which keeps me coming back for more. Ha, ha! “Coming” Prurient, again.
[re=195344]Serolf Divad[/re]:
Triple input hit that.
[re=195384]ManchuCandidate[/re]: [re=195382]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: [re=195344]Serolf Divad[/re]: It’s that slightly Asian cast to the eyes and cheekbones. Oh, and the hard nipples.
Saying this person is a Z-list celebrity denigrates other Z-list celebrities like Adrian Zmed and Pia Zadora, so we’re going to have to go to another alphabet.
It is just SO hard to find a good anal bleacher these days. But it’s de rigueur if you don’t want Prince Charming to be put off by an unsightly backdoor on your fairy-tale wedding night.
What is WRONG with you people?
[re=195344]Serolf Divad[/re]: Agreed. I’d be all about a long weekend of doing awful and unprintable things to and with Jessica Cutler. Having said that, I’d probably tire of her quickly. I feel kinda sorry for the poor schmuck that she’s going to take to the cleaners in a few years, but it’s not like he hasn’t heard about her past.
Experience says there’s lots to like with this particular woman, but…there’s some doubt about how long this particular union will last, for various reasons. Jessica’s a beautiful woman, but there’s many factors to all people—-and to all relationships. Just how long will this marriage last, is what some folks are wondering.
[re=195427]thefrontpage[/re]: Depends on whether or not the husband remembers that a gentleman liquors up a girl before commencing with the ass-fucking.
[re=195427]thefrontpage[/re]: If it makes it to New Years Day, I’m out of the running in that pool.
Another “tell all” from another insider 1/2 whore diamond snake charmer. Why do all these viagra poppin retards opt to hump the whore of the day knowing these gals are ready to do book deals? I’m waiting for the 55 statemens who boinked her on the same night to write a “tell all” fax about how they survived and avoided falling into this whore’s fiery abyss.
I hope he dips himself in bleach first- or not.
that’s a cute bra
[re=195361]Pop Socket[/re]: It is a source of mild sorrow that she got caught so quickly. That blog could have provided months of great entertainment.
[re=195407]honkeyman[/re]: We’re elitists. The assfucking crème de la crème. Oh wait, that’s what’s RIGHT about us.
may her honeymoon be filled with ass fucking and gin.
I always knew the Capitol Building was surrounded by a bunch of boobs! BADA BING!! Thanks, thanks, I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress.
Has a major era in this history of anal ended? Or has it just begun …
One more taint Obama needs to avoid.
Is it true that the wedding video will be posted on the Astroglide web site?
Well, he aint quite a senator and he aint quite a president, so…
I was thinking this story could use the “In the pooper” tag, but then realize the same was true of every other story today.
“realized” grrrr
From her blog “A man who tries to fuck you in the ass when you’re sober does not love you”.
From the story “They made us buy a bottle”.
Someone’s looking out for her.
““A man who tries to fuck you in the ass when you’re sober does not love you”.
I think that was also on the wedding invitation.
At least she’ll have a great retort when asked when she is having kids…
Comments on this entry are closed.