Wonkette
- Maybe the super-cheap Detroit bailout will finally give Wall Street the shot in the arm it really needs! Or stocks could open slightly higher, then plunge precipitously, then slowly creep back up and bobble around the rest of the day, as is their wont. [AP]
- Oh good lord. It is “unclear” whether the White House will be able to get enough Republican support to pass the auto bailout. You know, the auto bailout that’s TWO PERCENT of the size of the funds they gave to Hank Paulson to do whatever, for his beloved banks. [New York Times]
- Whoops, the Greek teen whose death set off five days of rioting appears to have died from a ricocheting bullet. [AFP]
- People across the country are “calling in gay” today, but your Wonkette editors will honor the occasion by writing about ass-fucking. [Houston Chronicle]
- Legg Mason’s Bill Miller stands as a sterling example of somebody who looks like a really really smart financial guy until he looks like the biggest dingus on the planet. [Wall Street Journal]
- So far, it does not appear Barack Obama’s purity has been compromised by this Blagojevich ugliness. [Washington Post]
How can BHO’s purity not be compromised. I’VE personally seen [the president-elect] and ROD BLAGOJEVICH in pictures. Together. He is obviously associated with not just known terrorists but also corrupt politicians!!
civan93: Go assfuck yourself, I’m at work today…
Bill Miller is the biggest dingus on the planet, and will never be fired, as there is no such thing as incompetence in the financial world.
A day without ass-fucking is like a day without gay people. Or something.
BTW, I would retrieve any scrap of value left in the stock market before the filibuster begins, as the Dow will lose 543% of its value once they realize that GM is going to Ch. 7.
I live in Canada, which is so civilized we don’t need to have a day without guys, but to throw my full support behind my American sisters, I have plans to go take part in as much ass-fucking as possible later today. Revolution!
I would anticipate nothing less than a full Jack Aubrey raking from the Repukes.
Appropo of the “holiday” yahoo’s headline page states “3 NYPD officers charged in subway sodomy case” then there is neat little video icon with the moniker “Probe.” Indeed.
Nigerian Business Executive:
“The news of the parliamentary suspension came after a two-and-a-half hour long meeting in Ottawa between Harper and Michaëlle Jean, the governor general…”
http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/12/04/america/05canada.php
One strongly suspects that assfucking did indeed occur.
Can I be gay just for the day? No ass-fucking necessary. I’ll just offer to blow a cop for twenty bucks or tap my toes extra wide in the toilet stall.
Tell me more about this “ass fucking.”
Can we go back in time a month or so and put the Wall St morans and Paulsy through the same grilling and blood oaths that the automakers did?
I don’t like the Big 3, but at least they make real stuff. If you get hit by a GM truck, your Pinto explodes or your K Car catches fire, you know and you really feel it, a connection to hard reality. With finance, the pain feels so ethereal unless my banker decides to ambush me and beat me with bag filled with $500 worth of quarters today.
Bill Miller operated on the principle of the “Last War.” He thought it was like every other “crisis” having not lived through the Great Depression. If anyone should be beaten with a bag full of quarters, it should be him (among others–I see you Jim Cramer). While the observant ones knew this wasn’t going to be a one year clusterfuck (I thought so, but I’m an idiot), he kept yelling “It’s just a little smoke” as the Wall St inferno raged.
Why doesn’t Big Oil step in to help Detroit? They’ve always given each other nutty bumpers until now.
Day without a Gay? Damnit, today I needed some fabulous fashion designs from a boutique full of sassy men, and then I wanted a meal at this trendy little Thai place with that fun waiter with the earring!
Who will we get to replace these jobs the gays have given up? Mexicans?!
Servo: Good damn point, Servo.
Servo: OH U! Haven’t the past eight years taught you that oil men only care about oil men? As long as there is one car maker on Earth, they don’t give a shit about the others.
But can you call in Gay even if you’re not gay? ’cause I really don’t want to be at work today.
Serolf Divad: I was thinking about that. I never really got any when I was still trying to date women. I could just be a gay who doesn’t get any. I’ll have to complain about it, but hey, a day off’s a day off. And becoming gay for a day is a great way to get yourself off.
Servo: Preserved Killick called in gay, I understand. “Let the silver go tarnished!” he said. “And I’ll be straight by Friday, so there’ll be no flogging!”
I used up all my gay days, so I called in tranny
I can’t call in gay. Everyone knows I’m a moody, quiet loner. *polishes his guns*
Serolf Divad: I simply can’t imagine the reaction at my job-dead silence? Or getting ass-raped and losing my job..not sure which would be worse…
freakishlystrong: Depends on the severance package.
Larry McAwful:
I don’t think JA would mind, since he’s pre-occupied with getting shit-faced, whoring, or dodging debtors prison.
mattbolt:
Fierce.
Larry McAwful:
Hmmm… “gay for a day”… sounds promising. But I suspect you’d have to dress the part, and I don’t have any tasteful or fashionable clothes. Maybe I could wear jeans and a flannel shirt and be a lesbian for a day.
Ass fucking in what respect, Charlie?
Are these people unsatisfied that the unemployment rate is not high enough? I hope they all get laid off.
Servo: Yeah, I’m sure he’d be cool with that. He’s got a ship to run, and I imagine that managing Killick can take a lot out of you.
Seriously, though: I’m currently reading the eighteenth book in that series, and I long ago decided that Killick is totally gay. He’s no dandy, but gay all the same.
Jack and Stephen are not gay, but the way they portrayed Stephen in the movie kind of made him seem like he was.
Serolf Divad: I’ve got the same problem. When I dress up, I wear tweed or corduroy jackets, which isn’t exactly fashionable, but it works for me. I’ve got a gay uncle who’s about my size. He wears a lot of Brooks Brothers, so maybe I could borrow something from him, and if I’m lucky, some of the gayness will wear off from the clothes. That’s how you catch gayness, isn’t it?
x111e7thst: Except that ass-fucking and fun, and there is absolutely nothing fun about that particular situation. In fact, I’d hazard a guess that that one is actually a direct result of erectile dysfunction disorder.
I hope they all get laid off.
Yeah! Oh, and if your kids get sick and you have to stay home: fired! You didn’t need to have kids, you leech.
Larry McAwful:
I’ve only got through three. I took a much-needed breather with Jimmy Buffet. I also thought Stephen was gay until the cock-blocking commenced.
If I remember right, there isn’t much cockblocking in the next couple of books. The fourth and fifth are favorites of mine, and they’re both really one long story. The last half of the tenth book is really good, too. So’s the eleventh.
Hell, they’re all good. But I’ve been reading them off and on since 2000 and could have finished long ago if I’d wanted to, but it’s really the kind of series that you need to take breaks from now and again. Reading it all the way through without stopping is kind of like eating your entire birthday cake by yourself in one sitting.
mattbolt: You win. Again.
This is why Washington is seen as out of touch. Here it is, National Buttsecks Day, and the Post is teaching us how to make a sleigh out of cookies to hold other cookies.
Nigerian Business Executive: Correction: Ass-fucking IS fun. Doofus.
For the first time in weeks, absolutely no one called in sick to work here. Even the sick people showed up to cough all over us healthy people. Even the sick, gay people showed up.
I was supposed to call in gay? Damn, I got confused and called in Republican.
Ah, close enough.
Son of Prominent ‘Yes on 8′ Leader Quits Mormon Church Over Prop 8.
Seems the son of the Mormon guy who lead the fight against teh gay is……GAY!
what a surprise.
http://www.catitics.com/showDiary.do;jsessionid=000F88D1EF2C929547D255F8C5D35F05?diaryld=7520
Hostile Michigander: Not really. Most Republicans have trust funds, not jobs. Or they work for their fathers’ companies and don’t need to call in if they don’t feel like showing up.
I can see the anti-gay camp instantly throwing their full support behind this and call for more days without teh gays.
Let the ass fucking fags marry, they have every right to be just as miserable as any other married couple
Sara, your market analysis skills are amazing! Check out what the Dow did today.
http://finance.yahoo.com/echarts?s=^DJI#chart1:symbol=^dji;range=1d;indicator=volume;charttype=line;crosshair=on;ohlcvalues=0;logscale=on;source=undefined
Please give me your predictions for Thursday, I will execute. Would you prefer a $1m commission or shall I buy you a senate seat (assuming you’re a real american)?