Just a day after fellow bathroom goblin Bob “Twenty Dollar” Allen failed yet again in his own absurd quest to expunge all hints of gayness from his police record, the original Idaho toilet troll Larry Craig lost his most recent appeal. Craig was arrested for trying to pick up a cop in a Minneapolis airport men’s room, blah blah blah, and ever since he has been trying to convince legal authorities that he just has a “wide stance” when he urinates in a very heterosexual manner in public restrooms.
After he pled guilty to a disorderly conduct charge in 2007, Larry Craig changed his mind and said he wanted to withdraw his plea. A judge said no. So then he asked a three-judge panel of the Minnesota Court of Appeals to review his request, and that panel also said no. So now, just like Bob Allen is doing in Florida, Craig is toying with the idea of elevating his case to the state Supreme Court, where he will attract even more attention to the fact that he once tried to have sex with a man in a bathroom.
Larry Craig loses appeal in airport sex sting case [AP]
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PHOTO CAPTION WIN, Ms. Sara K.
PHOTO. CAPTION. WIN.
As for Craig…
Meh.
“toilet troll”. Heh heh. 2-ply no doubt.
Larry Craig is the gift that keeps on giving!
Tappy Holidays!
Seeing that picture makes me proud to be an American… no not because it reminds me that our elected officials are sexual deviants, that happens everywhere.
No, that picture represents capitalism at its best: using a scandal to trying to get folks to come to a baseball game!! God, ain’t America great!!!
Do men talk about whether they have a wide or narrow stance?
What about “out”house don’t you understand, Mr. Craig?
http://74.125.95.132/search?q=cache:UZ9D8uG9qokJ:www.standingupforillinois.org/about/index.php+Illinois+lieutenant+governor&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us
Standing Up for Illinois-Lt. Gov Pat Quinn
If you have a wide urethra, you need a wide stance (and gay sex). It’s a medical condition, really.
In fairness, Sara, Craig’s is just a stalling tactic.
[re=194686]Thegreatbacon[/re]: I thought I pretty much had
seen everything discussed.
I guess I was wrong, but still, happy that I’ve missed out.
[re=194671]Vanity Smurf[/re]:
Away in a Men’s Room
in a stall painted red,
Poor little Republican
Wants to give some good head.
The cops are all watching
his tapping wide stance;
At last, in a holding cell,
someone who will dance.
Ahhh..Dickcember…
Yes children, snuggle under the covers while I read you the scary, scary story of the bathroom goblins and the toilet trolls….
Hey, everybody — join the Larry Craig Karaoke Sing-Along! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDUk6Kbqeagv=MDUk6Kbqeag
Maybe SCOTUS will hear both cases on the same day! Dudes, DO NOT go take a leak during recess.
…I think we now know who was bidding for Barack Obama’s seat! **Rimshot**
I say let him run with it. I really want to see him explain to Antonin Scalia how he’s “totally not a homo or anything.” I would also like to read the majority and minority opinions on his sexuality after the inevitable 5-4 decision.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
When i see someone copping a wide stance in the toilet, I know they want it.
Big Gay Larry is actually lucky this came out on the same day as Blowjobevich (as he will be known by the Aryan Brotherhood in the pen) bursts into spectacular, political flames.
This really has been the best year ever, hasn’t it?
We must all appreciate the snark while we can, because next year it will be all serious governance and responsible leadership and whatever is the opposite of moral turpitude.
oooh so THAT’s what that “safe” is in Cheney’s office.
Ah, yes, I remember fondly the days of my youth when a 3-judge panel determined my sexual preference…
Does this mean Larry’s come out of the water closet?
Oh Dickcember.
The gifts that keep on giving.
[re=194693]Noodle Salad[/re]: A wonderful republican Christmas carol. God bless us, every one!
It occurred to me that it’s very hard to spread your legs far apart while sitting on the toilet with your trousers down. And so I thought to myself “Sure proof (if any were needed)! Why would he be sitting on the toilet without his trousers down?” But now you say he was pissing instead. Perhaps there were no urinals free, okay. But why lock the door? Isn’t that, in the language of the gentleman’s convenience, like a big sign saying “I HAVE NO COCK”? I was lead to believe this.
I mean, obviously, nobody needs proof that he was trolling for cock or anything. It’s just something I’d considered.
I overheard some knock knock jokes between some very young children. One went like this…
Tap Tap.
Who’s there?
Larry.
Larry who?
Larry Craig.
(everyone screams)
Is that a pic of the famous ‘pooper’ we hear so much about?
[re=194694]freakishlystrong[/re]: Larry and Santa both love the white stuff
The court of appeals apparently took a narrow stance.
He should claim he had to stand wide to properly brace himself to support his massive cock. He should then talk about his massive cock in court at every opportunity, and should, when denied his appeals, get really irate and take out said massive cock and wave it in the faces of the wrinkled old men presiding. This should prove his point nicely, and therefore dispel rumours he enjoys publically lewd acts involving himself and other men.
“once”? Oh, naive naive Wonkette!
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