Wonkette
Rod Blagojevich, the comically corrupt governor of Illinois, was arrested at his house this morning, by the Feds, for an absolutely insane amount of (alleged) crimes, including a brazen attempt to SELL Barack Obama’s old Senate seat to, literally, the highest bidder. Blagojevich also wanted the editorial board of the Chicago Tribune fired, in exchange for his approval of the Wrigley Field sale by Tribune Co., because the paper kept calling for his impeachment. Everybody knew Blagojevich was an insane crook, including Blagojevich himself, which is why yet another part of his crazy plot was to appoint himself senator, so he could … uh, get more money, to pay lawyers, when he got indicted. Also, a U.S. Senator can’t be impeached as governor of Illinois, right?
Of course Blagojevich is a Democrat, as Illinois Democrats are famous scumbags. Although, to be fair, former Illinois Governor George Ryan is Republican, and he’s already in prison. This state’s political history is just a long episode of The Simpsons.
The U.S. Attorney, at the press conference just now, made sure to say several times that none of this has anything to do with Barack Obama or the transition team or whatever, so this proves Barack Obama really is a sleazy street hustler from Chicago!
Blagojevich arrested on federal charges [Chicago Tribune]
Are all white politicians crooks? Once you go black, you don’t go back
2 govs in a row. I am so proud to be a former resident of Illinois!
Hahaha I called this 3 years ago MUST CREDIT SHORTSSHORTSSHORTS.
Maybe not, as it is inherent that any person elected to higher office in Illinois is inevitably a crook.
As this pair of shorts was born and bred in Chicago, there is something to be proud of today.
Was it going to be for cash or was he charging interest?
yeah, but you can only trust patric fitzgerald as prosecutor when he’s prosecuting republicans.
And here I expected the love child of Joe Namath and Erik Estrada to be a paragon of American virtue and a shining example of American manhood.
Really, what kind of genius does it take to publicly sell a Senate seat or try to shake people down for money when everyone knows you are under investigation?
Still, I would buy a used car from him. It must be the hair.
In your face, Louisiana! Illinois is now the most corrupt state ever.
Looks like Roman Polanski to me. Let’s not think too hard about that (he he he said HARD).
And throw in a couple f—— case of Jack Daniels and some hookers! Yeah I’ll need some of those, and some coke and enough f—— steaks for me and the hookers to have a big tailgate party. I’m the f—— governor and I am OMNIPOTENT! Bwahahahaha.
Because interest is low right now if you can get financing.
I’m a hustla baby!
cnn reporting that us atty says blagojevich’s behavior would
make lincoln roll over in his grave.
Good morning Ken! Welcome to Wonkette!
This looks Alaska politics look down right ethical.
He sort of looks like William Devane’s utterly unscrupulous younger brother.
shortsshortsshorts: Today we are all Illinoisans, or whatever you call them. 108th Place and Western Avenue, by God!
I knew Rod Blagojevich was a dumb crook, but I didn’t realize he was this dumb. I don’t think this is the result of a mere head injury. He’s probably been drinking the agricultural runoff from the Illini River.
Hair is hysterical
Looks a little like Eva Longoria.
“Get me a ticket to whatever state Springfield is in…”
Blago will be the fourth Illinois Governor to do time in the past 35 years and the one most deserving.
George Ryan was a mean old bastard, crooked as hell and a Repub but still gets a place with the good guys by commuting every death sentence in Illinois when it was shown that some innocent people (black men) were being executed.
Dan Walker, considered cool and good looking by then current Illinois policital standards, waited until after he was done as governor to commit the crimes that got him sent away.
Otto Kerner was head of the Kerner Commission and responsible for its report after the riots of 1967 which surprised lots of the people who read it–sold 2,000,000 copies with its conclusion that the U.S. was “moving toward two societies, one black, one white—separate and unequal” and would have soon a “system of apartheid.”
Blago is just a stupid, corrupt bohunk from the south side.
Madeline: I know, right? I mean, the folks in Luzinanne are actually (*shudder*) putting corrupt pols out of office left and right and electing decent folks. What next? Mardi Gras without the flashing?
Merry Fitzmas!
With that hair he could be Rick Perry’s little brother.
He’s either the love child of Chuck Woolery and Paul Reiser, or the evil twin of Brad from the Young & The Restless.
Arrest those scary ass hair plugs! This nut rubbing idiot gives “the bang” a whole new meaning! Plsu trying to sell Hopey’s seat! What nerve! Hopey’s ass is at least worth 6 whore diamonds!
Well, it’s a proud day here in Chicago. Everyone here wanted his awful ass in jail anyway, so we’re down.
Did you guys see the part where this asshat was thinking about running for PRESIDENT in 2016?
Isn’t political corruption kind of an oxymoron?
Cape Clod: As opposed to William Devane’s utterly scrupfull older brother Ogden.
I tell ya, this story has 1978 TV miniseries written all over it!
V572625694: 75th and Jeffery–the 7th Ward.
Whatta sonojevich!
“During the conversation, Cari and ROD BLAGOJEVICH discussed Cari’s fundraising background and
work as a national fundraiser. ROD BLAGOJEVICH discussed his interest in running for
President of the United States.”
(Note that Cari had been finance chief for Al Gore’s presidential campaign.)
So if he couldn’t get a job with a union, then he’d go for POTUS?
Borat: Two words: Kwame Kilpatrick.
Blagojevich should callenge Viktor Yushchenko in their next election. He may do well there.
http://www.charlietueats.com
donner_froh:
Ryan gets a demerit for selling CDLs out of the Secretary of State’s office & indirectly getting that family of 9 killed.
True enough about the moratorium on the death penalty, though.
There were whispers of Blago being indicted months ago so yeah, this really has nothing to do with Hopey. When he was elected most of us thought he’d be an improvement from terrible George Ryan. Turns out Blagojevich was pretty terrible and tiny, but at least he was smiley. Basically if you’re not corrupt, you’re not an Illinois Governor. George Ryan was a mean old bastard. Maybe they will share a jail cell?
Now I’m assuming Pat Quinn will select Hopey’s replacement. It also seems that maybe Pat Fitzgerald is really auditioning for the seat with all this “I’m good at doing my job” stuff. Oh Chicago. Sometimes I miss the deep dish pizza.
(sigh) Frankly, I expect your average corrupt politician to be less retarded about it.
But they keep proving me wrong…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77L57dKv64w&feature=related
56th and Halstead born
When did Steve Carrell become governor of Illinois?
Vanity Smurf: He’s proud of that helmet hair. He gave a speech to the legislature in 2003 and made some painfully lame joke about a member of his state police detail being assigned to hold his comb at all times. The comb was referred to as “the football”. Oh my god so awkwardly lame.
This is unfair. Why is it that all the corrupt Democrats (Blagojevich, Jefferson, Kilpatrick, etc.) seem to get booted out of office or otherwise lose elections, while all the corrupt Republicans (Young, Vitter, Craig, Gibbons, etc.) get to stay on? Okay, Craig became radioactive, and Stevens did lose in a squeaker, and then there’s Fossella, but it’s hardly fair that the Democrats are so much quicker to clean house than the Republicans are. We should give our crooks a chance, too.
shanemcgowan: Elm Street at Lake Shore Drive. ‘Das right, mie family had da moneyz.
Note that Rod was arrested at home. In Chicago. He has never moved Springfield. Except for the periodic shouting match emanating from the Governor’s office, it will be awhile in the state capital before anyone notices that Blago ain’t around.
He called Obama a motherfucker. I don’t remember reading about that in The Audacity of Hope. The fucking of the mother, I mean.
HandsomePete: I thought I recognized that still! It’s from The Forty-Year-Old Felon, isn’t it?
Can’t wait to see how it ends!
NoWireHangers: I was hearing rumors about his impending indictment two weeks before the 2006 elections. My favorite rumor is that commutes between Springfield and Chicago because his wife forbid to live in the governor’s mansion after he fathered a love child with some Springfield townie barmaid.
~MY KIND OF TOWN CHICAGO IS dum dee dum dee dee~
Actually, I don’t think I really care
about this very much. It seems like
its happened before.
Born in NYC, lived in Chicago through 5th grade…Belmont/Lake Shore. Latin country, if I do say so myself. All Illinois politicians are corrupt - remember Dan Rostenkowski?
Larry McAwful: I think it’s because they’re more religious.
Larry McAwful: Our crooks are just plain crooks–steal money, sell offices–while the Repubs are filthy child molesting perverts who wear diapers while being whipped by prostitutes and sucking cock in airport men’s rooms.
S.Luggo: Friends of mine in De Kalb told me about that. They’re pissed about it. Apparently Mrs. Baggashit didn’t want to leave Chicago society for the wilds of Springfield.
Looks like the governor’s office might be moving to Joliet soon…
S.Luggo: Every governor (except George “corrupt as fuck but not admittedly” Ryan) has lived in Chicago and commuted to Springfield via air-transport from Meigs Field (I DONT WANT TO ADMIT MY NAME BUT IT WAS MY FAMILY’S AIRPORT AND YES WE DID OWN THE TRIBUNE). ANYHOO, now that Meigs Field is destroyed by corrupt shit-stain, Richard Daley, the governor’s have to fly out of O’Hare.
gossipgirl: Do I???
I considered that as a title of an essay!
S.Luggo: Yes, and he uses a jet to commute between Springfield and Chicago on the taxpayer dime. That’s so Palin of him.
donner_froh: I used to live in New Jersey, where we sort of had both in Governor Jim McGreevey. Of course, his gay sex was consentual; I don’t even think his wife minded. It was that he gave his lover a six-figure job with the state that was the real issue. So I guess you could say he paid for it, which probably meant he was about to switch to the Republican party, which is why it was so important we got him out of there when we did.
Have you ever been to Springfield? I don’t blame them - it’s worse than Albany.
shortsshortsshorts: Oh yes, Meigs Field. Wow.
When he gets out, I bet he heads straight for the dog track (after stopping for a hooker.)
One of the witnesses the gov’t will be relying on: “Levine admitted to violating his duty of honest services to two separate Illinois state boards by seeking and agreeing to accept kickbacks and payments worth millions of dollars in exchange for using Levine’s influence and position on the state boards to benefit numerous third parties. Levine further admitted in his plea agreement to defrauding a medical school and a charitable organization which he controlled out of additional millions of dollars. In addition to the crimes detailed in his plea agreement, Levine committed additional crimes over the past approximately 20 years, including instances of paying bribes, tax fraud, election fraud, structuring, and defrauding the estate of a business associate. Levine has further admitted to using illegal narcotic drugs for approximately 30 years up to and including 2004, including the repeated and regular use of cocaine, crystal methamphetamine, ecstasy, and ketamine.”
Ketamine being a methadone substitute, I believe.
That picture…I wondered what happened to Casey Casem!
Patrick Fitzgerald really gets the fun cases, doesn’t he? He got to bring down Scooter, and now this moran.
You had to find it
(I made a lot of mistakes)
All things go, all things go
(I made a lot of mistakes)
shortsshortsshorts: So this has just been a red letter week for you, huh?
Time to play the BLAME GAME!
Blame the folks in Chicago that made Obama a “community organizer” and thus launching his political career. The folks in Illinois share some blame also, because the fueled Obama’s greed for power by sending him to the senate. Obama has his share of blame, since he decided to run for President. McCain is not blameless either, he ran a shitty campaign and he picked Caribou-Barbie as his running mate, thus helping to throw the election Obama’s direction. Which really leaves one group to blame:
ALL OF US DUMB-FUCKERS for electing Obama as King of America, thus opening the seat, forcing Rod Blagojevich to sell the seat!!! America is to blame for this mess, Blagojevich was a helpless pawn in this whole mess.
damen and lawrence (speaking of, there’s got to be some dirt on rahm…).
this is the kind of heartwarming story that makes me proud to be a wonkette reader.
Blagojevich: (Picks up phone) Hey, FBI guys, you wanna bid on Obama’s senate seat? I know you’re there…. Hello?
FBI: Ha! We have him now! Nobody can match the FBI’s awesome investigatory prowess!
Tribune: Impeach Blagojevich! (Picks up phone, calls Blagojevich) Ummm, Roood? Can we have some state assistance please? No? Well, fuck you!
U.S. Attorney: That fucked-up, sewer-smelling, grinder-eating, hell-hole of Chicago has hit a new low. Because I said so. And having said so, Blagojevich is innocent until proven guilty. I mean, unless he’s proven guilty.
Media: You will be appalled by the staggeringly corrupt things that Blagojevich said! Stay tuned while our interns scan the indictment to see if any actual crimes were committed.
Alternate Universe Judge: You want to try the governor of Illinois for talking about a crime he might or might not have committed in the future? Case dismissed and I find you in contempt!
Real Judge: I am appalled at the staggering number of pages in this indictment! The jury is instructed to find the defendant guilty.
I love how he was simultaneously thinking about becoming Senator because he could better protect himself against an indictment AND because it would be a better way to launch his presidential campaign. Unreal. You know Fitzgerald was listening to the tapes and thinking “are you fucking kidding me with this shit? Is my job really this easy?”
So that’s where Parker Stevenson went after The Hardy Boys was canceled.
Doglessliberal: Plus Baron Black of Crossharbour. Somebody should give this man a medal or at least make Fitzmas an actual holiday.
I’m scared to death that it will come out that I offered him the use of six of my Eastern Europen hookers for my future Senate seat, my reputation will tarnished as Larry Craigs’ wrinkly dick.
donner_froh: Bohunk! Nice “16 Candles” reference!
OffTheRecord: he is a stud.
thank you, Illinois, for making my home state of New York
seem less like Louisiana (which just isn’t keeping
up in the Corruption Bowl, what with throwing william
jefferson out and all.
wonketeers: remember not to ask yourselves the question “how
much weirder is this year going to GET?” because the answer
cannot be quantified.
null: Perfecto, except the “grinder eating” part. It’s (or at least was) Italian sausage or meatball sandwichs with peppers. Yum.
“Real Judge: I am appalled at the staggering number of pages in this indictment!”
My god, since it was Barry’s seat he was trying to sell … Free Republic is going to catch on fire today. I’m afraid to even look.
I wonder what it is about governors.
Governor Spitzer
Governor Blagojevich
Governor Palin
My suburban Chicago HS swim team, on its way to a swim meet on the south side of Chicago, decided to press ham off the back end of the school bus on the Dan Ryan Expressway (a real bunch of geniuses). Three of them got suspended when the motorist in the following car–which turned out to be Dan Ryan’s son–complained. So in conclusion Chicago is a city of many forms of self expression.
NoWireHangers: Sometimes I miss Harold’s Chicken. And splashy crazy corruption.
WadISay: Here again I think I’m pretty happy
that I don’t understand this.
From the NYT: Under Illinois law, Mr. Blagojevich has sole authority to fill the seat being vacated by Mr. Obama, who was elected to the Senate in 2004. Mr. Obama’s resignation from the Senate took effect Nov. 16.
Wow. What if Blago appointed himself? Crazy. I like it.
Blagojevich 2012!
Hansy Dansy: Oh God I thought you were kidding. By now NASA’s lost radio contact with Lincoln after he did the fly-by of Uranus.
illinois can never have nice things
poor us. 
:(
Dudes a Serb, right? Are we sure we knew his whereabouts when Franz Ferdinand got whacked?
null: Oh, I think he’ll get more time than that.
NoWireHangers: I think the Senate itself could actually reject his appointment, since they have the constitutional authority to control their own membership. It never happens that they just straight up kick someone out, mostly because of that famous Senate decorum, and also because usually if one party wants a guy out, the other wants him around. But in this case I suspect they would probably employ some maneuvers to keep him out of there.
Now I’m worried that Jack Ryan might try to get positioned to win the special election that might end up getting called now that Blago is going down. Ryan was pretty strong before his own scandal (trying to get his hot actress wife to have sex with him in front of strangers in France), which now looks like silly kid’s play next to Blago.
CumaeanSibyl: No no no. Kwame Kilpatrick is a criminal. Therefore he must be white. Or at least not black enough.
donner_froh: Too much understatment! Illinois hasn’t had an honest governor in decades. Ogilvy’s administration was crooked as an Illinois River oxbow; he just never got caught himself (Paul Powell, two Supreme Court justices, legislators not so lucky). Like Ogilvy a former prosecutor, “Big Jim” Thompson, the sissy four-term governor, knew how to avoid prosecution and was probably too busy cruising Halsted street to get into too much trouble personally; his successor Edgar seemed clueless, but clean until the MSI scandal. Stratton was indicted for income tax evasion after leaving office, but beat the rap. Adlai Stevenson and Sam Shapiro were the only Democrats who didn’t seem like career criminals or megalomaniacs (Kerner seemed more of a patsy than a crook, but must have guessed what Isaacs and the other rogues were up to). Both major parties in Springfield stink like rotten carp; the legislature’s been for sale since Lincoln’s time.
Is it safe to say that he had some angle about how to extract cash from BoA (and I don’t mean an ATM)
Madeline: I still think Alaska has both Louisiana and
Illinois p0wn3d when it comes to dirty politics.
Just take one look at the COB (Corrupt Bastards Club) and you’ll see why.
This is awesome. This gentleman and Mr. Spitzer make me proud to be a Democrat. No toe-tapping fairies here, just real men who like money and hookers. Now if we can just get Kenny Stabler to run for governor of Alabama …
My fellow state of Illinois employees and I are wondering if this “selling” issue will be covered in next year’s ethics training. I’m guessing the Gov didn’t take the online exam…
donner_froh: Broadway and Belmont here, y’all! Chicago represent! In an ethical manner, of course. *cough*
Caroline Kennedy contributed $20 million to the comically corrupt Illinois governor’s holiday party. And all she got was a lousy candycane.
gossipgirl: It’s not Latin anymore. This is Boystown, baby.
I thought the only way to get in trouble was to caught in bed with a live boy or a dead girl? I predict there is a dead girl somewhere in the indictment.
Oh Blago, being a terrible governor wasn’t enough? You had to add slimeball crook to your resume as well!?
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
ladymacbeth: Budacki’s!
donner_froh:
Nuh-uh! Ryan didn’t commute those sentences until his ass was in trouble and an indictment was imm
Did he play Uncle Rico in *Napoleon Dynamite*?
donner_froh:
Nuh-huh, Ryan didn’t commute those sentences until he was in trouble and an indictment was imminent. I’m opposed to the death penalty but, that was an attempt to save his own ass, not an act of altruism.
Oh Chicago & Illinois politics! Way to stay true to your corrupt history! Here’s hoping Obama will lead the way out of the muck and mire. (hmmmm….Muck and MIre - name of my new death metal cover band?)
why’d my post get truncated?
donner_froh:
Nuh-huh, Ryan didn’t commute those sentences until he was in trouble and an indictment was imminent. I’m opposed to the death penalty but, that was an attempt to save his own ass, not an act of altruism.
Oh Chicago & Illinois politics! Way to stay true to your corrupt history! Here’s hoping Obama will lead the way out of the muck and mire. (hmmmm….Muck and MIre - name of my new death metal cover band?)
Who would use ketamine as a substitute for anything other than ketamine?
He was just trying to regain Illinois’ status as ‘Land of Corrupt Pols’ from Alaska.
Kedzie & Montrose, when I was a little rascal - then my parents decamped for the wilds of suburbia. the most embarassing thing isn’t that these guys (and the occasional gal) are so dirtbally, it’s that they’re so incompetent at their dirtballery that they keep getting caught. State of Ill, indeed!
If any DC-area people have read down this far: How would you describe Landover MD? Extra credit if your description is in the form of a haiku or a limerick. I’m currently engaged in a project to become an Employed American, so I can finally find out what it’s like to be part of a minority, and this question relates to that project. Thanks!
Kedzie & Montrose - that’s just a few blocks from Blago’s house! (And my sister’s)
I’ll have to ask her if she caught the perp walk this morning…
Luv Matt Cooper’s advice on how to cut a deal with Fitzy: http://tinyurl.com/dearblago
swearing_is_caring: I agree. Alaska has a much higher conviction to political seat ratio versus IL or LA. Alaska wins the most corrupt state hands down (or more appropriately, butts up.)
hands down ass up!
That the way we get corrupt?
spontaneousabortion: +1 for the Sufjan reference from the Illinois album. Ha!
Good Grief what next this IDIOT and now Jerimiah Wright AGAIN.
I wish I had been born a Republican.
Ahh-he should have done it in Pennsylvania! It can’t be against the law here-buying yourself an interim appointment to the state house, senate,judiciary, etc. is just the way we do things. Absolutely nobody does business with the state without significant contributions to the politicos, and that goes for Republicans and Democrats alike.
Madeline: Expect Alaska to make a comeback when Ted Stevens goes into hiding with the help of local patriots.
gossipgirl: Lived at Belmont and Sheridan when I moved back to go to grad school. It’s Larry Craig/ Jim McGreevy country now.
He listened to the Obamite’s classic recording of ‘Yes we can’ but forgot it was just a song .
Now he’s off to Singsing to play out his days on the harmonica. The prison scene fades as that old moralist standby ‘No you can’t, no you can’t, no you can’t’ echoes across the yard.
WadISay: what chicago suburban hs?