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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Gifted Linguist Karl Rove Will Expose “Unreceiving” [Sic] Bush Staffers

  • Karl Rove’s forthcoming Kunstlerroman, An American Wife, will identify everyone who was “unreceiving” [sic] of Bush’s agenda, thus ensuring that it will the longest book ever published. [CNN Political Ticker]
  • Harry Reid has excommunicated Joe Biden from Senate lunch dates, except on special occasions. [Kevin Drum]
  • Sam Zell, the Chicago Cubs-owning publisher of the Chicago Tribune and the Los Angeles Times has filed for bankruptcy. [AMERICAblog]
  • Pennsylvania Democrats want screamy, inexplicably televised manchild Chris Matthews to replace Arlen Specter as Senator. [Marc Ambinder]
  • The least talked-about feud in history rages on as Newt Gingrich and Bill O’Reilly continue to antagonize Hendrik Hertzberg. [HuffPost]


4:19 PM on Mon December 8 2008
By Juli Weiner
856 Views

  1. actor212 says at 4:22 pm, December 8th, 2008

    It could be the shortest book, too, Juli.

    I know I received a lot of the Bush agenda. I’m having a colonoscopy to make sure it’s all been removed.

  2. “‘He can come by once and a while, but he’s not going to sit in on our lunches,” Reid said. “He’s not a senator. He’s the vice president.’

    ….A spokeswoman for the vice-president-elect said ‘Biden had no intention of continuing the practice started by Vice President Cheney of regularly attending internal legislative branch meetings — he firmly believes in restoring the Office of the Vice President to its historical role.’

    ‘He and Senator Reid see eye to eye on this,’ said Biden’s spokeswoman Elizabeth Alexander.”

    That’s our Tough Guy Reid. Stand firm with Biden on sitting in on the lunches he had no intention of sitting in on in the first place, and waver with kicking Lieberman’s turd-fartin’ ass out of the caucus. Go get ‘em Dirty Harry! He used to be a boxer!

  3. Noodle Salad says at 4:27 pm, December 8th, 2008

    Did we have a choice whether or not to receive the Bush agenda? Abort! Abort!

  4. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 4:29 pm, December 8th, 2008

    So Rove is basically going to exonerate people that the public might’ve otherwise thought were “bushies”? Great plan, idiot.

  5. actor212 says at 4:29 pm, December 8th, 2008

    MrAgro: His nickname was “Bleeder Reid”

  6. freakishlystrong says at 4:30 pm, December 8th, 2008

    “Karl Rove’s forthcoming Kunstlerroman, An American Wife

    I always knew that bitch was the wife…

  7. Doglessliberal says at 4:30 pm, December 8th, 2008
  8. Texan Bulldoggette says at 4:36 pm, December 8th, 2008

    At least you didn’t say Karl was a ‘cunning linguist’ because that has to violate the laws of man/God/nature….

  9. The White Crow says at 4:41 pm, December 8th, 2008

    The Tribune Companies are bankrupt. The New York Times is out of cash. All major newspapers are dead.

    Can you believe the only major daily newspaper left standing will be The Washington Times?

    And everyone laughs at The Washington Times for being funded by Rev. Moon to the tune of 40 million a year.

    Bet you The Tribune Companies, NYT and all other major dailies wish they had the Rev’s backing now.

    More sushi anyone?

  10. SayItWithWookies says at 4:42 pm, December 8th, 2008

    Enemies of President Bush take heed: Karl Rove is set to name names.

    (Raises hand) Oh me! Me! Me! Pleeeeease!

  11. Come one Wonkette, how are you going to miss an opportunity to use “Cunning Linguist” in the headline? For shame.

  12. Doglessliberal: 5 days of good ol’ republican buttsecks to teach him tha good republicnas get their side action by soliciting pages on line or in public restrooms (airports and public parks work well) and not women!!! Gotta fix that degenerate fuck, no matter HOW many condoms we break off in him!

  13. hopebong says at 5:17 pm, December 8th, 2008

    I’m a Bush hater, and so is my wife

  14. Rove: “I’ve got behind-the-scenes episodes that are going to show how unreceiving they were … I will title the book, ‘The City and the Pillar Redux’”.

    Ooooh, Karl.

  15. Sussemilch says at 5:27 pm, December 8th, 2008

    It took eight years, but Karl finally got the message: Everyone fucking hates him.

  16. SayItWithWookies says at 5:55 pm, December 8th, 2008

    Sussemilch: This is the thanks he gets for keeping us safe after 9/11. And keeping us safe after the anthrax attacks. And keeping us safe after Katrina. And after that other hurricane that wiped out Galveston, which is still in a shambles but nobody talks about anymore because FEMA’s all better now. The nerve of us.

  17. tonehedge says at 6:04 pm, December 8th, 2008

    Hmmm, why is he writing a book about Cindy McCain?

    Kunt lerr oman, An American Wife
    Foreword by John McCain.

  18. Breaking news on John McCain’s post-election vacation:

    A US military F-18 fighter jet has crashed into a residential area of San Diego, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has said.

    The San Diego Fire Department described the scene of the crash as “a heavily-populated area” near the 805 freeway. The jet crashed as it prepared to land at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar and the pilot had ejected, the FAA said.

  19. rocktonsammy says at 6:52 pm, December 8th, 2008

    Anything in that book about Karl gay step father who died just before the 2004 election?

    Fuck that prick.

  20. Mr. Herpes says at 6:57 pm, December 8th, 2008

    First, there was Nixon’s Enemies List. Now there is gonna be Rove’s They-Never-Accepted-Stupid List. This is an honor worth bribing somebody for. People are gonna die of shame if they’re not on that list. Talk about status. To be the guy who Hated Bush the Most? Ohmigod. I just came in my pants.

  21. Lazy Media says at 7:33 pm, December 8th, 2008

    I would never wish ass cancer on anyone, but you’re pushing it, Rove.

  22. Toomush Infermashun says at 7:59 pm, December 8th, 2008

    Did CNN say Cox News and mean Faux News…? Were they just referring to his finger (see photo)…. and does anyone else love this whining as much as I do….? Bless his shiny round head for making this a better year than it has any right to be….Steven Colbert: move over for the new self-depracating and delusional Queen of Comedy….

  23. Toomush Infermashun says at 8:00 pm, December 8th, 2008

    TooMush Infermashun: “deprecating”, dumbass - either learn to spell or just drink more earlier in the evening and say fuck it….

  24. Other titles for the Rove book:
    1. “Night of the Long Nail Files”
    2. “Mary, If I Ever Meet You at Washington Function (I’ll so scratch your eyes out)”
    3. “Those Who Spat Rather Than Swallow”
    4. “Work Is Freedom”
    5. “After Sex, Barney Told Me So”

  25. Lazy Media: Karl thanks you for the bronzed finger.

  26. donner_froh says at 8:22 pm, December 8th, 2008

    Rove is writing a novel in which his protagonist and alterego, William Kuntler, a left-wing lawyer and civil rights activist, accomplishes his dream of writing a novel?

    Cool.

  27. Other titles? I like this game, even though I’m pretty lame at it:

    “Turdblossom on a Hot Tin Roof”

    “I’ll Go No More a Rogering”

    “I Knew Jorge. You Are No Jorge.”

    “The Delta of Receivering”

    “The Tropic of Crapicorn”

  28. Tchim: ““I’ll Go No More a Rogering”?
    “I’ll go mo more to bill Kristol.” A poignant roman-a-clef about young Karl’s days trollimg the D.C. bath houses.
    Introduction by David Gregory.

  29. myheadsexploding says at 9:57 pm, December 8th, 2008

    Whoever’s on that list is for sure gonna get laid.

  30. Karl, you’re trying too hard. You look a little pathetic. Just say you’re the ultimate non-Bush-Believer penishead - more people will buy that book because they like truth.

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