You anti-American homosexual Muslim book-skimming ACORNs have taken YET ANOTHER perfectly good & respectable website — this one designed to thank George W. Bush for the various wars and contracting economies — and ruined it with your filthy jokes about butts and poop. The site’s webmaster is now having to scrub your PUERILE CRAP petition signatures at a breakneck pace leaving him/her no time for SELF-PLEASURE. Let’s check out some of these toilet-humor “names” from you people who only want John Kerry to run the country and nothing else will do.
- #952: The entire 1985 Dever Broncos.
- #958: Ollie Tabooger
- #965: lord voldemort
- #967: An hero
- #972: Ol PP McPperton
- #987: Bush sucks big donkey dicks
- #1003: homer sekchal
The number of petition signers is vacillating between 990 and 1,030, depending on how quick the webmaster is. There are also a lot of libtards there whining about torture and the Patriot Act and divisive politics… lame. Just make your dick joke and move on.
[TYPGWB]
{ 217 comments }
Can we second signatures?
1074 I like Bush, but I LOVE it shaved.
Meh. I’d rather be Eco-Driving.
Whoever did the rick-roll, I solute you.
My wife, Mrs. Ivana E. Tabooger, does NOT find that amusing.
Ooooh, there are some GOOD ones:
1074 I like Bush, but I LOVE it shaved.
1081 Buttram LaDouche
1062 Ceiling cat was watching you fuck up the country.
868 Dr. Truck Nutz
899 Hugh G. Rection
771 Furries
I would have forgotten 9/11 in early 2003 had it not been for the GOP. P.S. I signed up as “All-White Neighborhood”
[re=193851]actor212[/re]: You beat me! (heh)
Has Ron Paul given his respects? I cannot seem to find his name.
#967 is a win.
Bea O’Problem? Amanda Huginkiss?
I am so deeply ashamed of my fellow Wonketteers. Making, no, forcing this good Christian man to clean out the dick jokes, the “Fuck yous” and the other snide remarks about the greatest US Preznit of the 21st Century… Oh fuck I can’t fake anger anymore.
Surely making this cognitive dissonant, weaselly, deluded ‘tard cry for trying to be nice to a total failure as a man and leader, someone he can relate to.
I suspect that dipshit won’t realize that he will have more comments telling W to get fucked than to thank him.
i saw this one: ‘Ivan & Norma Specker’ and thought it was real, then I thought about it for a while and realized it wasn’t, but brilliant.
Has anyone put up ‘incontinentia Buttocks’ yet?
Did Xavier Onassis sign in? (I know this is not penis-referent, but I hope it will do anyway.)
The winner is definitely Jack Sofolot.
[re=193873]Baconcat[/re]: They live next door to Emerson Bigguns and Harry O’Toole.
My Vietnamese grocer, Phuc Yew, just signed.
damned, they are not allowing more than one post per computer now….. fushed my cache and cookies and still a no-go.
They are using the patriot act to track us commies! They will be knocking at our doors any second
“I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.”
Walrus Pubes
Dickie Q. Buttsecks
[re=193863]NoWireHangers[/re]: 1075 Snuse Ulose
You can have your dick joke when you pry it from my cold dead hand.
1007 Olga Fokyerzeph
That one will get by the moron
I’ll get them when I’m not — ahem — working. I hope “Emerson Bigguns” isn’t taken by then.
Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate!
My faves: gleep glopp the invader (1046)
and big sale on trucknutz (1049).
the t-nutz signatories from the most recent page have been
scrubbed.
apparently the owner isn’t wise enough to scrub #225, Heywood….
here is a serious one…
Adam Sportel-Cedar Rapids, IA-Screw you libs, W is a great man!
Should we google this clown and send him some books and literature to set him straight?
Mine got scrubbed. I was Hugh Succock.
Imogene Anomaly made it through!!!
They never learn. Thanks to Wonkette no site will ever be SFW again.
Just to say, this is the kind of thing that makes me happy.
Sincerely,
Hugh Jass (& I tried again as Harry Palmer, but they told me to come back later)
[re=193904]azw88[/re]: I would send him to Iraq, as a civilian outside the Green Zone.
Names, names, and more names:
http://users.breathe.com/ionabigyot/
They even scrubbed “Pierce Bush”.
Bill the Weatherman is just as good as he was with McCain’s stupid “Don’t Tax Me” cheapo signs.
Wilma Dikfit, you have won my heart.
The terrorist Owaa Tafoo Layaam will be represented there soon.
Mission Accomplished?
I especially like this grammatically challenged bit: “As commander-in-chief, I could not have felt more secure with anyone other than you at the helm.”
Dude, you’re NOT commander-in-chief. Commander-in-chief is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer, Corporate Tool.
(Apologies to the Whedon clan)
Houz Bin Farteen reporting for duty.
Reading these names makes me thirsty for a bottle of Dickens Cider.
I wonder if Mike Litoris is any kin to Mike Hunt.
It’s pretty fun to go the last signatures page to watch this dipshit try and keep out the hysterical Wonkette signatures. Just hit refresh every couple of seconds–he can barely keep it below a 1000.
At this point his is too busy mopping up to turn the water off.
I’m in there:
1001 Hous Bin Phartin
1002 X.O. Verrisi
1003 Stanley Swizzlecockfucker
1004 Anonymous
1005 Ellmir Fyud
1006 George Bush Sucks
1007 Dick Goesinya
1008 Archibald “Harry” Tuttle
1009 How about no.
1010 Hugh Jashol
1011 PENIS!
1012 Sarah Palin
“!!! YOU WILL NOT GET SPAMMED IF YOU SIGN !!! ”
hahahahahahahaha
This is too much fun.
Thanks Wonkette operatives. Excellent work, and to you George W; thanks for nothing you asshole.
I have the distinction of having three names removed. Hooray for me!
I should let my Bush-supporting friends, Peter Gozinya and Oliver Klozoff, know about this.
857 Prescott Pharmaceuticals
Stephen Colbert is behind this!
You’ve got to pay to get your name listed, and in this economy, a laugh (even a hearty one) is hardly worth $2.
[re=193897]azw88[/re]: Safe bet. “Thor, God of Thunder”, Arthur Dent, Dr. Rockso, Bosco Albert Baracus, and MeHeart Fellatio have all gotten past his watchful eye.
And what, no love for #1000: Mark Penn?
#1023 was a tribute to the soldiers who sacrificed their lives to protect freedom. Like their unphotographed coffins, they have been wiped from the record.
Is anyone else feeling ambivalent about the fact that W. himself would probably be quite amused by the most juvenile penis and poop related entries?
[re=193947]cracksammich[/re]: Actually, I have to claim this one, but I won’t deny that he was my inspiration.
I think the webmaster took off for the day and the 10% of Wonkette readers with jobs are now at home blowing this site up. This may hit 2500 signature by the time this cockhead gets back to scrubbing tomorrow.
Ura Disgrace sez tanks fer the memries GW!
[re=193936]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Don’t know, but someone beat me to the Mike Hunt attempt.
Meet Bertha Venation.
Love and kisses,
Mr. and Mr. Karl Rove
I eat Bush for breakfast!
Natalie Drest
Ped Xing
Juan Tootreego
(thx RAW)
[re=193864]4tehlulz[/re]: He has now.
I love you guys. There, I said it.
1008 Felch Gulch
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
1082 Keyser Soze (hasn’t he been our veep these long eight years?)
1180 Topical Ointment Fortrucknuts
1221 ashley todd
yes, the Wonkette audience must be posting, and the webmaster has
left for happy hour at the 18th amendment or some such dive.
The United States has indeed come a long way from the day I got out of the Army and spent a couple hours in Dallas’ Love Field paging folks on the white Braniff courtesy phone and listening to a young lady with an LBJ-level Texas accent ask for Harry Balls and Mike Hunt on my behalf. Otoh, Ollie Tabooger might not fly in Dallas the way it could in Green Bay.
1165 Perez Allen Hayler
Richard Cranium signed the petition.
I am X.O. Verrisi. I tried adding Clorette Depasto but got snagged as a return customer.
Who actually posted “dick joke and move on”?
Mike Litoris was already taken…. thankfully he was recently married. Mike Litoris-Payne made an appearance.
I loved Yvonne Ophelia Hoots.
This is in poor taste…signed, Stephson Deux
Is this the same Interwebs that would have stopped HItler?
1118 Holden MaGroin
1119 Capitan Strategery
1123 Bob Ross
1125 H. Percival Huffenpuff III
1135 Holden Menutts
1136 No Balls McGee
1137 InternetLurker thinks Bush is an A-hole
1138 deadmuslims
1139 Deez Nuts
1140 Butt Sects
1142 Fellatio Consuelas Diez de la Horcha
1143 Mona Lotzenkumme
1144 AssMuncher
1145 doosh bigalow
1146 Merkin Muffley
1147 Thorgrim Gaulraper
_________
1148 – 70′s Bush, they’re coming back.
I started with a very polite “Ironic Doubletalker,” but my Russian pal Uri Tingpalin is a big fan and will be on my neighbor’s wifi with my laptop in awhile to pay his respects.
“New Orleans Corpse Eating Rats” offered some needed perspective.
I. Sawyer Balzac
I’d put up a funny name but I can’t think of anything more silly than George W. Bush.
[re=193936]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: They’re cousins of “Mike Rotch”. But posting that signature would be extremely juvenile. — Robert Schuler
when I click your link to go to the petition it just goes to the poop story
We have all done our mothers proud. My awesome 69-yr-old mother signed the petition “Mike Kitzpertz.” I don’t know whether to laugh or barf.
i might gank a few names from john hodgman’s list of 800 hobo names:
http://www.e-hobo.com/
#1349 is best….
screenshot
Woody Johnson
1454 Lame W. Duck
hey look, the webmaster updated the petition with a “pplz filld w/h8, click here” link. oh gee i guess that’s us! oh look, they wanna pray for us. well i hope that they have a productive session of prayer for me. and make sure to get my name right. it’s T. Nutz the third.
http://www.thankyoupresidentgeorgewbush.com/id1.html
I say it’s time to test this guy’s knowledge of pr0n stars.
done
1420 Double-Entendre Dick Penis
The ultimate goal is to survive the scrubbing, of course. It all starts going pear-shaped around Page 12 (thanks, Retard McGhee!), but in one of the first five pages Heywood Jablome has managed to secrete himself. Kudos, sir!
[re=194063]pepe[/re]: Thanks Pepe. That was me!!
idea — let’s see if we can get the entire book of A Tale of Two Cities “signed” on this petition. I started with paragraph one.
number 1499, a mr. or ms. <img src=”"> offers some biting commentary! otherwise known as html fail.
LOL, that’s a beautiful idea. I can’t help though, cause my work-around stopped working on my phone and I can’t access it at all from my work computer. I’m sure the webmaster will appreciate the more literary approach to trolling though.
1501 Richard Head, after Heywood Jablowme was rejected
Got another one in:
1546 8=====D
I love that, after signing “Eat a bag of dicks,” they sent me a thank you e-mail.
Signed “Moe Butsecks”.
I go to make my dick joke now. Peace.
oh nooooo the numbers have started to go back down again :(
Just saw this gem:
1085 E. Zauerst Perez-Edantaver
Don’t forget the biggest Dick of all (hint he has a penchant for shooting friends in the face)
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
1205 — Nash and Aldiss Grace in the hizzouse.
Zach Fuladix. Accepted.
Sixty four old teacher and grandmother. Proud to salt the internetz with bad dick jokes.
[re=194046]S.Luggo[/re]: Hey, I posted a bunch of Dr. Strangelove names too, and he scrubbed me.
Damn, I was hoping he really thought there was a General Ripper out there who gave a crap about his site.
Women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake!
Bud Homper.
Dick Mahogany.
Isn’t it nice we can all get together to do something constructive like this?
I’m #1277, I doubt I’ll be scrubbed, the guy doesn’t seem smart enough to figure it out.
1277 Ruhollah Khomeini hahahaha
Whoops, now I’m #1238, but still there! I guess the “Cockmeat Sammich” sigs are easier to spot.
I tried to do Idi Amin, but they won’t let me add another. I was going to do all the semi-obscure evil dudes in history. Dammit. Heeey, I’ll get on the computer in the other room!
I got my good friend Yodelin’ Sam McClatchahatchity to sign the petition. He doesn’t have a particularly risque name, but he does have a valid email address, and in fact it was he who suggested “Make the American Hog Nosed Skunk the new GOP symbol” at
http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/83671
So you know he’s a serious and dedicated Republican.
Bushie McFail, in the hizzy…
Sumbitch! Phil McCracken was denied.
[re=194106]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Try:
Slartibartfast
Wanda Cox
Pete Zarole
Complete with the Sonic Youth spelling of “your”:
“SHOW USS YR BIRTH CERTIFICATE JORGE DOUBLUE-U BUSH!!!!!!1!!! xSLUTZx”
I consider this my finest work.
[re=194121]S.Luggo[/re]: May I. Fondalette
Don’t forget Stu Pidashole. Pidashole is Polish for “BUSH EEES TEH SUXXXXX.”
[re=194122]Keram2[/re]: That was good. I’m assuming it’ll get scrubbed, but it’s really good.
[re=194124]bonsai pajamas[/re]: Bristol Necktz
too many good ones to read, but this is an excellent one:
Oliver Wright Sargonne
and it has a shot at surviving the cleanup!
Ok wait, Mike Litoris-Payne and New Orleans Coprse (sic) Eating Rats are still up but mine is scrubbed?
#1217 FTW.
[re=194130]S.Luggo[/re]: Les Allcomb
Heywood Yabuzzoff just checked in – wonder how long that will last?
Izzy Dum made me lol.
I went with J. Zinmapanz.
Thank you, Andy Samberg.
[re=194138]FreshCliches[/re]: That is fucking awesome.
Boris Azol
gofuk a. donky reporting for duty.
looks like the freepers are in full force counter “signing.” Hardly any fun anymore, really.
its up to 1251 now. i dont see mine, but 1251 is P L Centa
[re=194138]FreshCliches[/re]: Ben Z. Chilibol supports GWB.
[re=194118]LarryFeltonJ[/re]: I have just spended my last three out of 4 votes on your fine proposal.
~
1260 Takeshi Tonyu
I bow to your greatness, whomever you may be.
Being the sincerest form of flattery, I’m going to see if Clive Landsteemer survives.
If these wingnuts are manually scrubbing the site, it doesn’t make any difference if the names we choose are obvious, since causing them to do noxious and tedious tasks is a noble activity in and of itself. But if we’re interested in surviving filters, we have to be creative. Ben Dover is probably a non starter. But Ahmed Bin D’hohver might pass a filter. And a wingnut scrutinizing this might have to spend a few seconds figuring out if they’re zapping the name of a grateful Iraqi ally.
I’m in favor of names which don’t necessarily evoke shock among the numbnutz, but are downright silly names that a numbnut from the cast of the remake of Deliverance might actually have. I’m really partial to names like Gomer Pillsbury and Hepzibah Clack. Those two names might actually survive the list, but add to a certain ridiculous flavor.
I think mine, Ichii Balzac, got scrubbed–too ethnic, probably.
This is better than prank phonecalls to GOP Headquarters.
When Anita Hanjob signed, she was No. 1232. One refresh and she was knocked back to No. 1221. Are people retracting their praises of President Bush?
Thank you kindly. The noble American Hog Nosed Skunk is hovering somewhere around 54th place. I’d really like it to get high enough that they notice and remove it. Why I want to do that is a mystery even to me. But I have a vision of the Wingnuts who run this site developing high blood pressure from a combination of the combined efforts of Paultards, TruckNutz, and random silly stuff at which I excel.
Ann L. Fisher loves GWB so much she can’t sit down.
Awwww, what was wrong with Laura B. Kildaguy?
[re=194135]bonsai pajamas[/re]: Meka Mey Screem (address: Gitmo).
[re=194164]Kwame’[/re]: Oh, my God! I actually know someone by that exact name! I wonder if her parents ever thought of that! I can’t believe I never did!
Dude, I’ve got Gamey Hunder-Pantz and Ivana Mantahugankiz all queued up and now your link to that website is linking back to your link on why D.C. smells like dogshit. Does that mean they’re on to us?
I managed to get Ivana Tinkle past them.
God, this is as good as prank-calling Moe’s Tavern.
This seems so haphazard. Some of these seem made up, but everyone knows that Lord Voldermort and Bush Sucks Big Donkey Dicks are real names.
WIN:
1031 Hayward JeBlowme
1032 Adolph “Addy” Giuliani
1033 Mr. Jesus H. Christ, Jr.
[re=194166]veganstar[/re]: I just saw it! Ain’t scrubbed, just moved.
Moe Butsecks went the way of the dodo.
They wiped out my dear Anita Hanjob, but somehow, Ana Lynn Truder (Thank You!!) is still up there. I guess I just wasn’t subtle enough.
I tried to go back and put Gay Head up there, but it wouldn’t let me post again.
Masturbator of Farts has been scrubbed. Philistines.
Dayum, I’m giggling like a little bitch here. I’ve not had so much fun since my friends and I egged our principal’s car in 10th grade.
What do Ron Mexico, Dr. Clayton Forrester, the Detroit Lions, “Signing Anonymous not to get flamed, thank you GWB”, Scroto T. Baggins, H.S. Thompson, Valerie Plame, “I can has taco?”, Albert DeSalvo of Boston, Mass, ALLAHU AKHBAR!, and Stephen Hatfill all have in common?
Why, they lurve our Preznit!
Total WIN.
[re=194170]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Foul bastards.
[re=194169]Hagar77[/re]: Correction — I mean that clicking on the “this one” in the Wonkette post will take you in a circle. Clicking on the article link will take you to the genuine pants-pissing absurdity that is this petition. I got Ms. Hunder-Pantz on there but the second entry asked me for a password and I’d be damned, y’know? Damn, this was fun. Like TP’ing the neighborhood asshole’s porch.
898 Perez Allen Hayler
Made it past the scrub, apparently.
Egads.
It is now password-protected so only those mouth-breathing Freeptards can post!
I’m currently #828 (and going to get some cream to take care of it soon.)
Stupid password-protection. Now poor Terry Wristskum will never be able to show her gratitude to the greatest president ever.
Password?
I find it oddly funny that even before our juvenile jokes he has to shout an assurance THAT WE WON’T GET SPAMMED IF WE GIVE OUR EMAIL!!!!
and then there is a checkbox promissing to spam us with more offers from this site.
But we have to get the password. WHATS THE DAMN PASSWORD, I WANT TO GET SPAMMED WITH TRUCKNUTZ!!!
Luke Busy; Jesus is Coming! is my new favorite.
They aren’t smart enough to have removed Martin Bormann!
Those fuckin iconoclasts! And I just went and got another bottle of Scotch! Oh well, some sweet gems made it past the 18-percento-meter. Too bad Shrubber ain’t smart enough to decode em. Will he beam proud knowing Handel d’Balzac is forever grateful for the war?
Looks like they’re trying to mop up…Albert DeSalvo, Boston, MA is the only interesting one left on the last page…I kinda hope they’ll clean out all the Dick Sinmazipper jokes and actually present Bush with a petition signed by Winston Smith, Jeff Gannon, Ivan & Norma Specker, Thor and the Boston Strangler…I’d suggest a nice Rose Garden ceromony…
Looks like some cool soap opera names will survive.
This is very entertaining. For some reason, the combination of
1021 Albert DeSalvo, Boston Mass
1026 Jack Mahawgoff
and
1029 Military Industrial Complex
Sent me into a fit of giggles…if you don’t have anything else to do, try http://www.anonymizer.com/ to hide your IP addy.
It’s a testament to these folks’ general asshattery that they didn’t see this coming when they first put up the page. Like, who would dare mock the preznit in public? And why?
I wake up after a nap and there are 32,000 pageviews on this.
Something terrible must have happened.
The password is lowercase “gwb.” Enjoy!
After seeing the FARK link and going to the page I sent the guy an email explaining that every POTUS since Truman has protected us from attack according to his logic and that 9/11 happened on George W. Bush’s watch. He sent back the usual its all Clinton’s fault claptrap. I sent him some links to the facts and he replied “the SITE isnot political. I however am NO a website.
can you please stop emailing me and start praying for me!”
So I replied, “Yes, this is the last email. And I will pray for you, and everyone else harmed and fooled by the Bush administration.”
These people are afraid to admit they are wrong, substitute volume for intelligence, and are absolutely crazy. Man, I’m gonna miss them.
[re=194205]blusuede[/re]: THANK YOU THANK YOU! Now I, More butsecks with muslin terrorists plz!!!, can give a proper thank to G-dub.
[re=194192]Dear Diorama[/re]:
They want to believe that GWB/Phil Gramm/Larry Summers/Tim Geithner/
Alan Greenspan/Paul Rubin/ parted the Red Sea through market deregulation. They cannot accept that they, as Pharaoh’s golden minions, are now drowning in red ink caused by their puppetry of the above sages and believe that, as they swallow the bitter brine of their own debt, it is all an FDR socialist trick.
Thanks for the password-
All the best,
DR. T. SANCHEZ, #1046
Man, this petition was better in the good old days, when we ran wild in the hazy, wide-eyed days that were earlier today, before THE MAN got involved, we were free, man, back when we’d all blame DailyKos, and we posted all the lyrics to the Fresh Prince theme song and goatse links, I miss that era
[re=194200]Jim Newell[/re]: I blame finals. They make everything non-final related terrible entertaining
Sincerely,
Seymour Butts
[re=194214]OffTheRecord[/re]: And they apparently effect my ability to form complete sentences, also.
There is now a “Petition Password” field. So now to show your grassroots enthusiasm for thanking Dickwad McFucknutz for the last 8 years of hell, you have to be sent a password in advance.
Hopefully the Wonkette encryption gurus are hard at work attempting to crack the algorithm.
Thank You, President George W. Bush.
http://nukegingrich.wordpress.com/2008/11/08/thank-you-president-george-w-bush/#comment-82211
Monkey Love
Ah the “gwb” works well I see.
1091 Fartina Jurgen Raldee Rick Shawn
much scrubbing, but here are some gems:
956 Heinrich “Henry” Himmler
961 Priscilla Liberace
983 BellaDonna
1060 Jim McTrucknutz
1066 Zaphod Beeblebrox
ut
The GWB lubbers cannot get rid of teh truknutz.
[re=194221]Panderfinder[/re]: Hey, someone used my name! Zounds. But the win continues…
1073 الله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبرالله أكبر
(that looks like Allahu Akhbar in Arabic)
1077 Gaius Baltar
1081 Loaf Pincher
1082 Ivan Toohurl
1083 Maj. T.J. “King” Kong, USAF
1084 Horny Toad
1087 Brian Peppers
1088 Heckua Job W.
1090 You Prick
[re=194225]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Yet, we all mean this in good way.
They seem to have changed the password on us. Again. Alas! Alack!
[re=194211]mattbolt[/re]: Those days of summer. In truth, tell me when. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdOJPmnaeuE
http://nukegingrich.wordpress.com/2008/11/08/thank-you-president-george-w-bush/
See Comments.
Have fun.
[re=194244]S.Luggo[/re]: I have honored your request, sahib.
Look at the first few pages of that petition and you’ll notice some other bits that have siphoned through the cracks. Some that’d be obvious to anarchists and deviants but are apparently invisible to trucknutz.
Now, whutz that goddamn password? Carry on, men. Continue to bogart that petition!
I’ll explode without the password… Hugh Janus wants to sign the petition!
I liked Richard Fitzwell (didn’t get his number – rats!).
Here are some of the better ones, but not everything. It all began with Chuck U. Farley at 582. There was a lot of renumbering when things began to disappear, thus all the out-of-sequence ranges; it’s mostly in chrono order.
582 Chuck U. Farley
586 Hugh Schtink
592 My Pet Goat
594 fuck you assclown
596 Fuckyou andYourSupporters
597 Worst President Ever
599 Fucknuts Mcdangleton
600 Mr. H. istorywillrememberyouasthemostdestructivemonstertohaveeverheldtheofficeofpresidentoftheunitedstates
601 Ihateyoudumbass
602 Hugh Succock
609 Yougottbe kiddinme
610 Sal Iva
613 Dorkus Malorkus
614 Whoever wrote this is lame
615 Tru K. Gnutz
616 fuckface george
617 ur a fucktard war criminal
618 UR DETACED FROM REALITY
620 Truck Nutz
622 Gochoke Onapretzel
626 I.M. Dipshyt
630 Uma Stberetarded
631 Shirley Eugest
632 fuckyourself youfuckingretard
633 Future Generations Paying For Your Mistake
634 Jack MeHoff
636 Wurst PresEvar
637 VLADIMIR “BEEFCAKE” PUTIN
638 George Bush is the best thing since Cancer
640 Fukk A. Dukk
641 Heywood Jablome
642 The Taliban
644 Gapin Fahjina
645 Jess Kiddin
646 Thank you for proving that even those who are mentally retarded can achieve anything, if they only have the right parents. Trig Palin for prex 2052!
647 Get bent, asshole
648 Thanks, Dubya, for laughing along with the rest of the world for the past 8 years while never once realizing that YOU were the butt of the joke.
649 Byebye Whitehouse
650 George Bush is a criminal assfuuuuck
652 Hugh Jass
653 Hugh Ruined DeGOP
654 Nevar Cumback
655 David Chapman
658 Osama Bin Laden
659 Little Lord Fauntleroy
666 HaveFunInWarCrimesCourt
668 Ur A Murderer and Torturer George Bush
669 Johnny Cramdangle
674 the world hates you
676 None Of This Is True
677 Ticklemy Taint
678 R.U. Fucking Kidding Me, Jr.
680 Amanda Livering-Payne
681 Fuch U. Mann
683 Ura Poopstain
684 Did you have fun wiping your ass with the constitution, Dubya?
686 war criminalizing is fun
691 Ima Shamed
692 Douche Bagg-Prezdent
695 Hugh Goddabekidding
697 redrum
698 Miserable Failure
700 Morgoth: Destroyer of Worlds
701 Richard Nixon
702 Uran Ydeot
704 Republitard
707 Texas Secedeagain Please
708 Perfumed Prince and Chief Fucktard
709 Fuck Bush the war criminal
711 Gotohell W. Bush
713 Fascism
714 Anita Gofradump
715 Goeff Yourself Cheney
724 1,000,000 dead Iraqis
735 UrTheWorstPresInHistory
736 Ivana Humpalot
737 goodriddanceasshole
740 Thishasgotto B. Ajoke
741 Disillusioned US Citizen
742 thank you mr bush for killing 4000 of our own citizens
747 Raptor Jesus
748 Hitler Youth of America
754 Joe T Plumber
755 Dixie Normous
777 bob myknob
779 You have fucked this country in the asshole goodbye
785 Jack Ass
791 Bush you are the worst human to ever live.
793 What T F Ever
794 ROTINHELL
795 I hope you get impeached, you assbag.
798 At least Nixon was smart enough to know he was an asshole.
802 youfukedeveryonedouche
803 Best dictator in U.S. history!
806 Sandy Vagina
807 Adios scumbag
811 Your FAIL is epic. Go now and FAIL no more
812 Katrina Hussein McBankFailure
815 Retardo Montalban
816 Larry “Widestance” Craig
817 Goodriddance
820 satan himself
822 Yugo Fuckyermother
823 unbelievable
755 Worst… President… EVER!
756 fuck you
758 Ricard Cabeza
759 I guess even fuck ups deserve a second chance
762 No Way
765 you are a moron
766 Retarded middle america thanks you dearly
768 You have fucked this country over for 8 years, do us a favour and die in a fire
769 Saddam Hussein
770 Cheerio You Massive Tool
771 Jesus
772 Joe Ritzenbacher
773 adolf
775 Worst 8 years EVER! Thanks, you gigantic fuktard
777 GWB Sucks the Big One
779 Oil Tycoon Billionaires of America
780 Eat shit you fucking piece of neocon slime
783 Whitemanlittle penis
784 Hugh Jasle
774 Hugh G. Rection
775 Come on, George W Bush must have started this. There is no way this was done by a competent person.
778 warmongering fuckhead
779 Thanks for the laughs, clown.
789 Thanks For spending this country into ruin and destroying the republican party!
790 Scroto T. Baggins
752 Thanks for a 2nd Great Depression!
755 H. S. Thompson
778 A blind retarded monkey would have done a better job.
779 YOURE A DICKHEAD
781 Another Screwedamerican
782 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED __ DESTOYED ECONOMY, 2 WARS AND BROKEN GOVERNMENT
784 Wall Street CEO
787 Valerie Plame
788 C ya soon! Beezlebub
793 Thanks for killing so many young people! You rock! Hope you spend a nice retirement haunted by the people who died because of your war!!!! Best Wishes, killer!
797 Just Get Gone, Chump
786 Burn in Hell
787 Thank you for destroying the Conservative Party! Cheers!
789 youfail
790 Dontlet TheDorr Hityouintheass Onthewayout
791 Putin Owned you
792 Pig Benis
797 Mike Litoris
870 Oliver Clozzoff
876 My daughter is proud to carry your child, maverick ! –Sarah Palin
877 Thanks for doing everything your enemies wanted you to do, SUCKER!!! you got played, usa got SLAYED!!!!
882 Jack Sofalot
908 Hillary Clinton
915 GWB, 8 years of stealing rights and bombing brown people
916 Fuck n Idiot
917 Hugh G. Rection
918 Youmust B. Freakingkiddingme
934 Tupac Shakur
936 Judge Dredd
937 Thanks for making me look good compared to you. Your friend, Dick Nixon
941 World economy unstable, Iraq unstable, N Korea has nukes, thousands of US troops dead, US taxpayers buried in debt, Bin Laden still on the loose, Al Qaeda recruiting going through the roof. Thanks ever so much.
942 Anon E. Muss wishes you all the mudkips your cheeks can handle. Both sets.
945 Showing “appreciation” towards this coward of a man for his actions regarding 9/11 cheapen the impact of that event and prove just how much ground the terrorists won on that day.
947 Doo Shoverlord
979 Amanda Hugginkiss
983 MeHeart Fellatio
984 Miserable Failure
986 Homer Sekchal
987 New Orleans Corspe Eating Rats
990 Red Ruffansore
995 Curtis Interuptis
999 A veteran who served you loyally and hates you just as much.
1000 Ben Dover
1007 The Third Roman Legion, Gaul
1008 Chase Rooster Palin
1006 Poopyface Flippityflop
1007 Owaa Tafoo Layam
1008 Fuck You
1009 GWB OMG WTF
966 Wuudja Blowme
978 Mike Rotch
994 Jeff Gannon
995 Mr. Bator
995 Harry Chesticles
1001 Hous Bin Phartin
1002 X.O. Verrisi
1003 Stanley Swizzlecockfucker
999 Bushie Killedmycountry
1010 Ethel Mertz
1027 Idiot Supreme
1029 Karl Rove
1030 William Ayres
1031 the economy
1032 Eat my shorts
1036 Derbashin Myballsin
1039 Ron “ohmyfuckinggodwhywhyhowcanyoulikethisman” Paul
1042 Unborn Fetus
1043 Pudge Facker
1044 Force McCochen
1045 Ann L. Wortz
1046 Dumber than a bag of rocks
1047 Wors T. President
1048 Shitstain Asswipe
1051 Go USA! Get a Brain Morans!
1053 Bush sucks a big donkey dick
1054 Barack Obama (thank you thank you thank you!!!)
1055 Words cannot express my fury for the way you have fucked up many of the large crises my country has faced. I know you are not working alone to fuck it up, but as commander-in-chief, I could not have felt more vulnerable with you at the helm. I just wish there had been a man of integrity, morals, selflessness and love for fellow humans in your place. You are truly the worst president ever. – Ella Funt
1056 Dork Cheney
1058 Al Kahaliqh
1062 Dilawar the Afghan Taxi Driver
1063 You Killed My Brother
1065 I would make a threat but then thanks to att sucking your dick I would have federal agents at my door
1066 Unemployed
1068 The World Trade Center
1078 Darth Maul
1079 Ollie Taboner
1081 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????? THAT SCUMBAG NEEDS TO ROT IN JAIL
1082 Ima Terrist
1083 Keyser Söze
1084 All of Canada: Thanks for not being our leader we appreciate it.
1085 Satan Jr.
1086 Choke on a pretzel sir
1087 Chesty LaRue
1096 The Federal Reserve
1097 note- the orginal message has been intercepted by att for containg slander against the great president bush and federal agents will arrive shortly to arrest the poster
1098 Katya Cherkinov
1099 whatshabeuscorpus?
1100 9/11
1101 Yo Mama
1104 Failure McEconomykiller
1105 you are an idiot. thanks for fucking up everything
1108 you ruined our country, good riddance to you. take the loser republitards with you
1111 douchey mcdouchebaggery
1113 The Prince of Darkness
1115 Vladimir Nabokov
1116 Failly McPhail
1117 Samuel Satan Lucifer
1118 Byrne, Inheil
1120 TheDecider
1127 Youjackass
1139 Constitution McRaper
1140 YourKidz IsmyCannonFodder
1142 gofellatea elephant
1143 Heckuva Job Brownie
1144 Geaux Phuckeurself
1151 Thanksfornothingdouchebag
1153 Ima Boozer
1154 If I did it 9/11 Edition
1155 Masonic Skumm
1157 headupmyass
1159 Mission Complete
1160 George Bush Is a War Criminal!
1186 Comrade Wingnut
1190 Charlie Manson
1194 Ws_Coke_Spoon
1196 Get Lost Bush
1197 What am I thankful for, again?
1198 fuck you cocksucker
1201 Thanks for shitting on the Constitution and Bill of Rights!!
1202 The whole world hates the US now
1205 Muslims Arepeopletoo
1207 Thanks for nothing, you rotten waste of air.
1214 Miss N. Complissed
1217 Nice death threat buddy
1220 Thank you for ruining my country, asshole!!
1224 Bob Onmyknob
1233 Joseph McCarthy
1234 Privatise the profits! Socialise the losses!
1240 Hey, thanks for cutting into the environment and signle handedly dooming my grandchildren!!
1242 New Orleans was delicious. Om Nom Nom -Katrina.
1247 say hello to the hague, w
1249 Worst. Presidency. Ever!
1252 Wilma Fingerdew
1254 No President did more to hurt America since Buchanan
1256 Toto Fay Lure
1259 Iva Benscrewed
1260 Bush is a Douche Nozzle
1266 All of the shady contractors you have made rich with your illegal war
1256 Miss Ann A. Komplest
1259 Rich Encrimi
1267 Yuverra Amy Stake
1269 Misha N. Complished
1272 Pinkley Taurus
1272 sanctity of life my ass he caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent people.
1274 Thanks President Numbnuts!
1275 youkilledmyfriends
1271 Ura Dunse
1274 Claude Gerbals
1275 Anita Rim-Jhab
1276 im asian american and i want to go back to china
1228 Thanks for nothing, dickbag.
1229 Urey Tool
1233 Richard Cranium
1235 Scrotey McScrotebag
1241 Limp McDicky
1245 Thank you, you were the worst disaster to ever hit America.
1246 Youra Moran
1248 Smokey McPot
1249 Hugh Janus
1256 Go fuck yourself GWB!
1261 izzie afuktard
1264 protect you from danger? Are you a little girl?
1268 Sincerely Disgusted
1271 Thanks for nothing, dickbag.
1272 Urey Tool
1295 Lawrence Fine
1156 You anti-American homosexual Muslim book-skimming ACORNs have taken YET ANOTHER perfectly good & respectable website — this one designed to thank George W. Bush for the various wars and contracting economies — and ruined it with your filthy jokes about butts and poop. The site’s webmaster is now having to scrub your PUERILE CRAP petition signatures at a breakneck pace leaving him/her no time for SELF-PLEASURE. Let’s check out some of these toilet-humor “names” from you people who only want John Kerry to run the country and nothing else will do. * #952: The entire 1985 Dever Broncos. * #958: Ollie Tabooger * #965: lord voldemort * #967: An hero * #972: Ol PP McPperton * #987: Bush sucks big donkey dicks * #1003: homer sekchal The number of petition signers is vacillating between 990 and 1,030, depending on how quick the webmaster is. There are also a lot of libtards there whining about torture and the Patriot Act and divisive politics… lame. Just make your dick joke and move on.
1157 9/11 Deaths 2819—Iraqi War Deaths 4209 *Great Job Bushie!!!*
1161 Shit for Brains
1166 worst…. president…. ever
1176 American Pretzel Council
1177 Dallas Whites Only HOA
1182 Go to Hell you Bastard Ass
1209 E. Zauerst Perez-Edantaver
1240 Our Childrens (are learning)
1244 Solong Screwy
1254 Phuque Yoo
1260 Jack MeHoffer
1262 Dain Bramage
1265 You Cocksucker!
1269 Mission Accomplished oh wait
1270 Scott Palins Taint
1277 Thank you for destroying this once great country!
1278 Hide T. Hotdog
1288 thanks for destroying the honor of this great nation. I hope it regains that honor despite your efforts
1293 Ann “the man” Coulter
1251 Turd Blossom
1258 In soviet Russia, Bush signs you
1268 Mike Oxbig
1269 The degree of incompetence over the past eight years has been truly astounding, and it is my sincere hope that you find some way to redeem yourself for your actions over the last eight years.
1284 Thanks for restricting stem cell research and hindering medical research in the name of your religion!
1291 I can haz Hague trail for Bush Chenny kkplzthnx
1293 Thanks for ruining the country, asshole.
1306 Mr. Yellow Cake
1307 Richard Fucking Nixon
1310 Dick Smegma
1317 Herbert Hoover (Glad to have you in the “worst presidents” club)
1323 George, If you paid attention to the PDB in Aug 2001, you might have been able to stop the f*cking terrorists, you worthless piece of shit!
1325 Jan 20, 2009 – The end of an Error
1329 Geroge Bush is a fucking idiot and so is whomever made this site. Fuck you both!
1332 o. please
1335 Karma Hurtz
1344 Is this where I ask for a pardon?
1351 P. Retzel-Chok
1355 Massive FAIL
1385 “Mission Accomplished” — Chimpy McFlightsuit
1307 Failure McFailyton
1321 Burn in hell you murderous, incompetent jag-off
1322 can I live in your basement when I get laid off?
1253 Sarah Ya Betcha Palin
1255 Howie S. Babbyformed
1265 Barry D. Ballsack
1254 Mr. Miyagi
1266 Ana Lynn Sershin
1279 Alex P. Keaton
1284 President Douchetard McFailson
1180 Another Brainwashed Moron
1181 T. Ali Baan
1182 Thanks for ruining my country, you ass
1191 Ludafail W. Democrathelper
1194 Fawn Liebowitz
1196 You are insane
1198 internet ruining wonkette readers defecate on bush legacy
1200 Thanks for finally going away
1220 For the sake of proper screening, you might have to brush up on some reading other than the scrolling ticker on Fox News. There is an impressive collection of fictional characters from negative utopian literature to science fiction, interspersed with a liberal amount of sordid personalities in those first 1000 names. -Franz Kafka
1186 Kanyube Enemorry Tardid
1189 Amada Hugnkiss
1190 Anita Spankin
1154 Ya know I love ya, Georgie, you are a credit to your family and party. Hugs and kisses, Satan PS xoxo
1159 sockpuppet
1160 Ginger Lynn Allen
1161 George Jetson
1166 Gay Talese
1168 Bigus Dickus
1174 Regnad Kcin
1185 Tony T. Tiger
1188 Briana Banks
1189 Thanks for the massive debt, high unemployment rate, and loss of civil liberties! Oh, and the war crimes? Icing on the cake!
1192 Chimpy McCokePants
1193 bite my shiny metal ass
1195 Thanks for protecting us from imaginary threats and getting thousands of our troops killed. I hope you end up in jail.
1203 Bartleby Fdge Packerington
1206 Thanks for making meeven more proud to be a Canadian , ya douche
1218 Silvia Saint
1228 Incontinentia Buttocks
1235 Hugh G. Dingleberry
1236 Seriously? Thank you? Where have you been for the past eight years?
1239 Go FUCK Yourself, Bush & Cheney
1240 Theo Cracy
1242 And with that, he faded away into the welcoming arms of unconsciousness, accompanied by a sound she would never forget; the disgusting, indescribable sound of Scrappy’s latex-clad corpse being forcibly inserted into Scooby’s anus, head first… good bye, Bush.
1246 Harry Perotestees
1252 Bush is a cancerous anal wart
1255 Nina Hartley
1263 Para Palegicsoldier
1265 Colin “Biggest mistake of my career” Powell
1266 Tera Patrick
1277 Richard Marx
1280 Ashlyn Gere
1286 Flying spaghetti monster
951 Ana Lynn Truder (Thank You!!)
956 Heinrich “Henry” Himmler
957 Richard Fitzwell
988 Ana Lynn Sershin
1009 Martin Bormann
1021 Albert DeSalvo, Boston, Mass.
1037 Ed Gein
1041 Dickins Cider
1043 More butsecks with muslin terrorists plz!!!
1044 Constitutional Arsonist
1056 Phil McHunt
1057 Bush = Fail
1060 Jim McTrucknutz
1061 Chase Young Boise
1066 Zaphod Beeblebrox
1068 Willie Fistersnatch
the new password is 911….i kid you not…
Look, I added Mike Hunt, in honor of my vagina. And I would do it again.
In other words, I beat you all to the Mike Hunt and I act like I am proud of it.
Holy shit there is currently no password. Swarm! Swarm!
Sorry, Mike Hunt was already scrubbed hours ago. However, my William H. Orton remains.
Yeah, I was scrubbed earlier today. And now that bitch won’t let me add Clarence DeClowne. I’ve tried four times with assorted names. Bummer.
Wait – no PASSWORD. Gotta go!
Got Adolpho Hilter (no relation) up there for just a bit. My favorite so far, methinks, is Diana Feir. Classic.
Buster Hymen and the Fournicators
Alas! Passworded again! And I was going to add – in honor of the fabulous Roller-Derby Diva of the same name – Markie D. Sod.
How will I make it through my Tuesday without bashing my head in with this scotch bottle if I can’t abuse some bushtard’s tribute page?
And why did they think making a tribute page for the president with the lowest approval rating in recorded history wouldn’t end in their being pwned by Wonketteers?
Ah, my misspent youth with the roller derby girls. Always a knockabout good time.
Damn it. I wanted to sign Derr T. Karpitbaggar but I don’t have the password! :(
Oh the humanity.
You know this guy just rues the day he thought of this!
Now there are no visible signatures. This is why we can’t have anything nice. Good job!
[re=194071]Lazy Media[/re]: Heywood always works.
I tried, “Ken Lay, no wait, I’m suppose to be dead” but they have it passworded now.
I just want to reiterate what [re=194244]S.Luggo[/re] said earlier…try here, still fun to be had:
http://nukegingrich.wordpress.com/2008/11/08/thank-you-president-george-w-bush/
Patience, fellow hunters. Just wait by the hole and they’ll come out eventually. And when they do, Babs Sabich will be waiting for them.
Ah, shitz! Those Wonkette “writers” are at it again, and this IMPORTANT thread is moving downstream at a breakneck pace. Sorta. So here’s the thing: If I manage to sneak into Fort Petition. I’ve already decided to throw myself on the wire. I will post the password right there on the petition, so be looking for it with your pee, du du names ready to slam in, okay? Hopefully, this will inspire other selfless creatures like myself to do the same periodically so’s we can keep this puppy going til Jan. 20. It’s that important.
Wire-thrower-onners, you’ll receive a dozen virgins in heaven. Virgins, yes, but who know everything there is about great sex.
The entire THING is scrubbed now. It shows place markers for over a thousand signatures, but zero text. None. They got rid of all of them.
Awww, I guess this means no one wants to thank Chucklenuts. Poor Chucklenuts.
It looks like poor Naivey McBushteabagger got fed up and decided to scrub everyone’s signatures. I just took another look for laughs and since yesterday afternoon, when I signed as Ann L. Wortz, all the signatures have been erased. Curiously, it still shows a total of 1,049 signatures, but every single one is blank.
Bummer I wanted to add Sofa-King We Todd Did
Curses! Tossin Masalad is foiled in his plot to support his idol.
Well this just ruins everything. No. Wait a minute. It doesn’t! We won!!
God bless us, everyone.
Fellow Wonketteers,
Thank you for all you have done to protect me from republitards. It has been sever years since our country’s fundamental values were attacked by the so-called “war on terror” and most of our nation’s values were abandoned. I am truly greatful [sic] for the way you have handled one of the most profound crises my country has ever faced (i.e., the Bush presidency) with endless snarkiness and trucknutz!. As fellow pinko-commies, I could not have felt more scared with anyone other than Bush at the helm. Thank you for being people of wit and endless potty humor. May God (or whatever) bless you.
I also would like to take a moment to thank America’s true heroes – the Heywood Jablomes of the world who were able to get their naughty names by the webmaster-censors without detection. That’s why we won WWII! Americans never give up! USA! USA! USA!
The only sad part about this was that more people weren’t able to sign the petition with a nom de plume.
I wish I had the chance to say, “Thanks for having the IRS audit me three weeks after my daughter and I sent you and Cheney an email about how you and FEMA f-ed up in your slow response to Hurricane Katrina.”
signed,
Baby Jane Hudson
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