Mitt Romney Hoarding Cash To Run For President, The End

After that tragic series of events that led to the shuttering of the Mittens "Willard" Romney Campaign 2008, our comically convictionless protagonist campaigned at nine million rallies "for John McCain" and other candidates, a full seven million of which attracted only one attendee, Kathryn Jean Lopez -- in booty shorts. Mittens' extensive travel budget was funded largely by wingnut donations to his Free and Strong America PAC, which he created to "raise money for other Republicans around the country and to promote GOP policies." Ha ha, why would he bust his ass for that? He wouldn't! Because now we know that only 12% of the $2.1 million in PAC donations has gone towards helping other candidates. The other 88%, oh where did that go? MIGHT HE NEED MONEY FOR HIMSELF FOR HIS FUTURE? IN SAY... 2012?? Yep, that's when he's scheduled his appointment with the plastic surgeon -- and boob jobs aren't cheap. [ Boston Globe ]