Wonkette
THANKS FOR NOTHING! Oh hey you can go “thank” old what’s-his-name, the guy who is still technically the president! No room for a special message, so your Wonkette just left “Fukk You Assclown” as our “e-signature.” PS — Do not donate to this website, just leave your “name” and go away, quickly. [Thank You President George W. Bush]
Donate? Is George collecting for Chez Bush in Dallas?
Please tell me that’s a parody site.
Please.
Hah! You have to donate with Paypal to sign?!?!?!
God, I hope this is some organizer for ANSWER hoping to milk the right-wing mouth breathers for a few of their hard earned samoleons.
Geez, You’d think the Retard Party would’ve figured out the whole intertubes thingy after the post-election fiasco, but I guess not.
There’s lots to thank W for.
The ruination of the Republican Party.
Er, that’s it.
I’m Halliburton Stock Holder, since some jerk took OBL’s name already.
George probably is looking to pay for his new manse in that whites only neighborhood.
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/TYPGWB/signatures.html
After #565, it’s all downhill, folks
Serolf Divad: Signing is free. After you’ve signed, the communists at iPetition beg you for money, hoping that you are Ben Bernanke and want to give them a trillion-dollar bailout. You are not, so just hastily retreat after your silly fake name has been recorded into internet history.
the number of truck-nutz-themed signatories just exploded.
also, just to be clear: i think the donate button at the end was for the petitions site itself, not for any sort of GOP cause.
mattbolt: # 607 “Asslicker LeGrand” has a certain style to it.
I signed as Di Soon. I thought that was rather clever.
I can’t believe there are 564 mouth breathers that did that SRSLY?
Dear President Bush,
Thank you destroying America so that we don’t have to.
Hugs and Kisses,
Al Qaeda
Allright, who was # 643: “If I knew it was going to be that kind of party, I’d have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes”?? 2,000+ whore diamonds!
mattbolt: Since it’s for the eternal tablet of posterity, It might be worth a donation of $.01 out of my PayPal account to sign my given Christian name.
Yrs. Truly,
Worst Prez Evvaaarrrr
“THANKS FOR NOTHING!”
Yeah, THAT’s appropriate. Because if you check your bank balance, IRAs, 401ks, home values, income, and the national purse, that’s what you’ll find.
It is only right for George W. Bush to be thanked for “nothing.”
It is what he gave you and what you have left.
Serolf Divad: No, that’s after the signature was recorded.
I think you all misunderestimate that man, George W Bush. Fooled you once, shame on — shame on you. Fool you — you won’t have him to fool around anymore. What is you Wonkemeteers learnin’ yinnyway? The human being and Republican can coexist peacefully. This dropjaw between us—it took a while to drop the jaw, and it’s going to take a while to unjaw.
I may be mistaken, but I detect a certain level of … hostility in a number of the recent signatures.
How does typed sarcasm work again…?
“THANK YOU so VERY MUCH for RUINING THE FUCKING COUNTRY.”
I guess that’s “mostly caps.”
“May they undercook your favorite dish when you get it served as your last meal at the Hague.”
Wonkette Readers take over this list at page 13. There were 554 “Library” donors saying thank you first.
God damnit, #711 broke my combo!
thank you for liberating iraq! the world is safer without saddam hussein.
Carma Esa Bicha.
OhWhyOhio: Haha, it’s been expunged. “Rest in Piss” still has a nice ring to it, tho.
They printed mine! Yeah! I guess they felt that “Douchessofhampshire@vom.com” was a legitimate email.
lulz @ 731: “Chris” in the middle of the wonksplosion.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
I don’t have enough time to go to that website. I’m too busy turning my Advent calendar into a Countdown to the End of the Bush Presidency calendar.
I think I enjoyed the signature of “Fuck Fart” the most. “You are worse than the Jews!!!” is a close, very close, second.
I wrote in “So Long and Thanks for All the Corpses” and “See You in Hell”
TruckNutz hasn’t been called for just yet.
mine #768 “piss off cunt” i know cunt is cindy’s petname but i figured…dont ban me bro!!!
“May the fleas from a thousand camels burrow in your armpits.”
“Free Grants for Republicans” “Never Repay” ??????? LOLz, FTW!!!!!!!1111!!11
“Eat a bag of dicks” was taken, so I had to go with “Idiot Manchild.”
Sean O: Yeah that was me.
I thought the next screen would pop up a text box for comments… It doesn’t but I made a comeback at number 771: CHOKE ON A DONKEY DICK.
Okay, who is posting the Fresh Prince theme song? I think I love you.
843 - 851: Successful Fresh Prince roll’d
This made me laugh so hard I’m crying. The best part is how it changed so drastically. I’m in awe of Wonkette’s power. I’m telling people to check it out fast before it all gets taken down…..
God, all the good ones were taken. So, here is mine.
Iraq Veteran’s Missing Legs from irapedtheconstituion@trucknutz.com
What is the criteria for stuff getting censored? All of the Journey lyrics are OK except for “DON’T STOP BELIEEEEVING”??? And yet “Thank you for the handjob” gets to stay? It’s madness.
Alright, I just went with the big guns and busted out some MFin’ Journey
Well this explains it all:
I know that you are not working alone to keep me safe, but as commander-in-chief, I could not have felt more secure with anyone other than you at the helm.
Georgie made the site himself!
i hope you get fucked in da ass by a rabid iraqi with syphilis, bitch #921
Dildo Baggins: My guess is this doesn’t represent the good works of the RNC, but is the product of some right-leaning dunderhead, totally clueless about the nefarious intarwebs.
OhWhyOhio: yeah id hate to see what you have to post to be edited out
mines still there but “fuck you and your dyke bitch daughter” was 2 down from it got cancelled, i think thats dick cheney btw. low info voter musta posted that
Haha they’re blaming Daily Kos. Stupid retards.
OH COME ON. They think we’re DailyKos! “QUIT SPAMMING US REAL AMERICANS, DAILYKOS.”
This slander shall not stand! You would think our liberal use of “bag of dicks” and “TurckNutz” would have left an impression by now.
Ha ha! They think it’s DailyKos that’s doing it! Well done!
Their helpless plea/bitchmoan comes right after my name, which is “I hope you take up drinking again, and die of cirrhosis.”
This is almost as stupid an idea as the “I AM [X] THE [Y]” site, which is my new meme.
4tehlulz: Oh for fucks sake, when is the right wing going to learn that Big Sale on TRUCKNuTZ!!!!1!111!!1 is our calling card? We never get credit for anything!
QUIT SPAMMING US REAL AMERICANS, DAILYKOS
Can somebody out there write a script that will spam these morans automatically? It’s getting hard to keep up…
My favourite:
1023 GO BACK TO DAILYKOS WITH YOUR TRUCK BALLS AND WHATEVER YOU LIBERALS
according to the “GO AWAY DAILY KOS SPAMMERS” crowd, some of you folks are going to get a nice healthy check for those signatures you’ve been posting!
“Truck Balls.” I don’t know…I think it’s funnier. “Take your truck balls with you.”
Blue_in_VA: Tructicles!
Blue_in_VA: Better than “van scrotum,” certainly.
We’re not getting credit: “YEAH, YOU DAILY KOS ASSHOLES STOP SPAMMING US. I BET YOUR GETTING PAID TO SPAM US. U SUCK”
Being confused for a Daily Kos commenter…I’ve never been so insulted. Yeah, if that were the case, every third signature would be “Keith Olbermann.” And getting paid? Daily Kos commenters are not “employed” in such a manner. If they were to be paid, it would be in the form of pizza leftovers, shitty, seed-and-stem-filled weed, and Keith-O’s latest literary abortion.
Dear George,
Thank you for making the last eight years absolutly fucking miserable and thereby keeping my therapist employed.
Marie de Gournay
P.S.
Fuck You
Lots of individual signatures are funny, but it’s that sudden tone change in the mid-500s that makes it GENIUS.
i signed (ThanksFor Nothing), but against my better judgement as they chose to illustrate the petition with an eagle that WASN’T CRYING! what part of “never forget” did they forget?
“1023 GO BACK TO DAILYKOS WITH YOUR TRUCK BALLS AND WHATEVER YOU LIBERALS”
C’mon, this is one of you guys, right? Right??
rachelv: I shouldn’t have used goldman sachs for that e-mail; they get enough of my money as it is.
V572625694: just slightly…
“1109 IVE FOUND OUT WHERE THE SPAMMERS ARE: the plotting thread is at http://www.goatse.ca”
I love all of you so much.
OH LAWD
“1109 IVE FOUND OUT WHERE THE SPAMMERS ARE: the plotting thread is at http://www.goatse.ca“
I signed “Fuck Off” and had them send the receipt to “POTUS@change.gov”
Alright, alright, mea culpa, I gotta admit it: I’m behind the whole DailyKos thing. Y’know, just to throw ‘em off the scent once the poor old lady who started this petition reads it over
#1023 GO BACK TO DAILYKOS WITH YOUR TRUCK BALLS AND WHATEVER YOU LIBERALS
FTW!
(although shortsX3 was pretty good too.)
OhWhyOhio: Also mine.
Blue_in_VA: I have just patented CARCUNTZ! It fits over the gas tank opening.
sezme: Read the previous 100 million comments before posting, moran!
messickc (ROLL TIDE!): or the larger VANVAGINE!
messickc (ROLL TIDE!): You win!
mattbolt: You win at the internets.
“Words cannot express my appreciation for the way you have handled one of the largest crises my country has ever faced.”
At least that part is true.
OhWhyOhio: It won’t allow apostrophes. Everything else is fine.
R. U. Shittingme
I just tried to sign on as Stephen Harper, and left his valid email address, hoping that he’d get horribly spammed by ipetitions. They flashed an ‘error’ page, claiming it wasn’t a valid addie.
So I toyed with numerous variants, all with the same result, including sharper@whitehouse.gov. Finally, in despair, I registered as sharper@bagodicks.com and - pooftah - it went through like Astroglide through shortsshortsshorts.
Which is funnier? That they reject valid email addresses as invalid? That they think bagodicks.com IS valid? Or that they give you fifteen tries to get your own email address right, without smelling a hoaxster?
Dubya DID design the site.
Signed in as “It’s pronounced “new-klee-ar, IDIOT!”.
And now they’ve password protected the site, it appears. *Sigh*
808!
It seemed to accept both the ones I sent (both with a made-up hotmail address and my hotmail “spam” address), as it told me my signatures had been recorded. But neither is showing up now? Booooo. Fail.
And are they deleting signatures or am I imagining things? Oh these guys are no fun…
anyone have the password to share? I’ve got a signature that needs leaving.
I can’t believe the collective minds of Wonkette can’t figure out the password.
Redhead: Yeah, they’re deleting now. #565 (referenced above) used to be the one from Ken or whoever about Fukkyou Assklown. That’s gone. Good news, it’s going to take them a while, and whoever has to do the deleting will have some edifying reading ahead of them. If you think about it, it’s almost better to know that someone is going to read each and every one of those posts and evaluate whether or not they are legit.
They’re deleting fast now. Use to be 25 pages, now just 21.
The law firm of Dewey Hatum & How would like to leave their respects.
L Urchin: Anita Cocktail: TYPGWB
I just signed as Truk Gnutz.
They left Hugh Schtink. Two whore diamonds to whoever posted that sig.
Down to 17 pages now, I wonder how many pages they’ll actually get to that do not contain derogatory and profane “thank yous”? Will they even end up with a full page? All I saw was villification. And it was lovely.
Down to 12 pages, but Peggy Noonington still lives.
The password seems to be based on some kind of IP tracking. I just did it from another platform and wasn’t asked for a password.
Why does every Republican web site look like it was designed in 1993 for a Mosaic browser?
If you’re looking for evidence that the GOP is yesterday’s party just look at their graphics.
OffTheRecord:
“Big Sale on Truck Nutz” is teh offical slogan of Wonkette Nation.
Theo_Mobius: It records your computer’s IP addy: Piggyback off a public proxy server from china. http://www.proxyz.com
VLADIMIR “BEEFCAKE” PUTIN #637
I donated $10,000 which will be my cut of the expected bailout I will receive.
However due to hyper-inflation that will only buy you a bag of pretzels and and a band aid with which to cover the bump on your head you may receive as a result of eating said pretzels.
Good times !
I’ve also found that certain phone-based browsers don’t keep a stable IP for your device. As long as you start from the first page each time, no worries — you’re well on your way to fair and protected political commentary!
Theo_Mobius: or that.
Oliver: And in tribute to Wonkette Nation, I have named my new dog Otis P. ‘Trucknutz’ Lassiter.
I have such a common name, I’m surprised I was the first to sign.
Sincerely,
Miserable Failure
Hehe, someone signed Tru K. Gnutz!
#758 “Is this the unemployment line?” Do you laugh or cry at that one?
I would like to make a donation: Here is a check for one, burning bag of dog shit. Thank you for your service. There’s the door.
loquaciousmusic: My signature of T. Ruk Nutz was removed. :\
mattbolt: Good call. I support Thank-You-Fraud
This one is good: “Jeff Gannon- Thanks for the memorable nights”.
I think they’re about to shut it down, completely; I can’t see any of the signatures.
Too bad; I wanted to try Eda Bagodix, email: etsubj@hotmail.com (a real address. i saw it on the bathroom wall at school.)