I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU TO GRAB HER BREAST  4:53 pm December 5, 2008

Obama’s Chief Speechwriter Somehow Let This Photo Be On Facebook

by Jim Newell

Here’s the photo du jour that “popped up” on the Facebook for a couple of hours, showing a couple of good ol’ frat boys, one of whom is getting Hillary Clinton drunk while the other pulls a Saxby. Unfortunately for him, the squeezer on the left happens to be Obama’s sexy 27-year-old speechwriter, Jon Favreau, who would like to work in the Obama Administration. He has offered Clinton an apology in what must have been a terribly uncomfortable conversation. [Washington Post]


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Hedley Lamar December 5, 2008 at 4:58 pm

Hillary is more flat chested than I remember. No wonder Bill liked the fat intern.

TGY December 5, 2008 at 5:02 pm


World B Free December 5, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Whoops. Why is it that these Generation Y kids didn’t learn the valuable Generation X lesson? No photographs.

The Real JR Revisted December 5, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Cardboard boob grab!

Also, nice touch with the “Obama Staff” T-shirt. It’s like he’s a KISS roadie… but way cooler.

Gorillionaire December 5, 2008 at 5:03 pm

What’s the big deal? For years I had a life sized Blondie cardboard cut out that I partied with, drank with, and did the “saxby” with. And damn it I loved that girl! How could could Hillary not feel anything but adulation?

King of Pants December 5, 2008 at 5:04 pm

You don’t want to see what the Hillz staffers did to their Obama cutout.

Texan Bulldoggette December 5, 2008 at 5:04 pm

Hillz should probably be flattered someone wants to grope her. That cutouts probably seen more action than she has in about 20 years.

shortsshortsshorts December 5, 2008 at 5:04 pm

Absolutely no apology is necessary. Not only were they giving Hillz tons of love and affection, they were feeding her strong drink and providing her an opportunity to fraternize.

azw88 December 5, 2008 at 5:05 pm

Drink, you bitch!

anabellum December 5, 2008 at 5:05 pm

meh…just a typical date at a frat boy kegger…

what ya wanna bet there are semen stains on the cut-out?…

sarahconnor December 5, 2008 at 5:05 pm

That’s his speechwriter!? These guys look like they should be in a gay Abercrombie and Fitch ad. wierd.

I’m sure Hilz was all, you two can make a sandwich with me anytime, you saw how i grabbed those microphones at the press conference the other day, know what i’m sayin’???

TGY December 5, 2008 at 5:06 pm

Also, I’ve heard more complaints from friends about pics of them OTHER PEOPLE put up on Facebook. Including low jean ‘Crackinstein’ photos and so forth. Facebook is not your friend! Wake up, people!

TeddyS December 5, 2008 at 5:06 pm

Our SexyState Hilz graciously accepted the apology on the condition that Jon first write a suitable note that clears her of any wrongdoing in connection with his unexpected suicide.

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 5, 2008 at 5:06 pm

Why’d he have to apologize? Nobody forced Clinton to get drunk snorting beer with them.

4tehlulz December 5, 2008 at 5:07 pm

Not a full body pillow. Fail.

iminadinnerjacket December 5, 2008 at 5:07 pm

oh god i cannot wait for facebook to show up in my generation’s impeachment hearings

One Yield Regular December 5, 2008 at 5:07 pm

Apologize?!? Are you kidding?!? This is why she accepted State!

greatgooglymoogly December 5, 2008 at 5:08 pm

They’re sick, all of them. Including the cutout. Sick sick sick.

j6n December 5, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Who’s going to write his public apology?

StrangelyBrown December 5, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Was this the “Saxby fix” Hillary needed to be SecState?

If more constitutional crises could be resolved this way, I might have to become a Paultard.

stumpycuse December 5, 2008 at 5:11 pm

C’mon, how hard is it be an Obama speechwriter: “Change, Hope, blah, blah, blah, Change.” Seriously, this shit is easy.

tocute2btrue December 5, 2008 at 5:11 pm

At the Party end Hilliary was wearing only Panties and a Bra, I glad they didn’t get a pic of that.

Kev-O-Tron December 5, 2008 at 5:12 pm

Probably a standard frat boy apology: I’m sorry you got so drunk and can’t remember telling me to grab your cardboard tits.

smashtheduck December 5, 2008 at 5:12 pm

Weird, I would think frat boys hate wasting a perfectly good roofie.

tocute2btrue December 5, 2008 at 5:14 pm

Come to think of it the cut out had a better ass.

Borat December 5, 2008 at 5:15 pm

[re=192476]sarahconnor[/re]: I thought Abercrombie ads were supposed to be gay!?

j6n December 5, 2008 at 5:16 pm

Come to think of it, Obama’s stump speech had a lot of pie references.

TGY December 5, 2008 at 5:17 pm

[re=192492]tocute2btrue[/re]: I dunno. ‘Stale, flat, and unprofitable.’

pourmecoffee December 5, 2008 at 5:21 pm

He must be the one who wrote the “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” speech. Very inspirational.

lazyb December 5, 2008 at 5:23 pm

[re=192467]World B Free[/re]: So true. Kids today are convinced that every dumbshit thing they do needs to be photographed. I am a bit sad that so much of the hopechange blah blah that got me all teary and inspired and shit was written by a douchebag fratboy. I feel…used like a Hillary cutout.

Borat December 5, 2008 at 5:23 pm

[re=192467]World B Free[/re]: I stole a couple Billz and Hillz cutouts at a company party following the ’92 election. Those are really good fun. But I agree, I learned Pixxx are bad (at least those with you in them).

I’m trying to think through the reaction if this were Snowbilly & a Walnuts speech writer. I honestly can’t figure out if people would be offended or encourage it. But, I’m certain there would be a Cougary Quicky somehow involved

WagTehGod December 5, 2008 at 5:25 pm

Probably just Twittered the apology. Only 140 characters allowed, so no long awkward conversations.

sarcasticusername December 5, 2008 at 5:26 pm

barry’s probably a little pissed that even his own staffers would rather drink with annie “hillz” oakley, than his scrawny elitist ass. can you blame them though? nobody wants to carry their lightweight boss home at the end of the night, especially if you have to bring him home to michelle.

swearing_is_caring December 5, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Groping is hoping.

FreshCliches December 5, 2008 at 5:27 pm

A two-dimensional Hillz is only befitting of her campaign.

rocktonsammy December 5, 2008 at 5:27 pm

God our country is being taken over by a bunch of Ryan Reynolds wanna bees.

I ain’t giving up my Sarah Palin life size cardboard cut out.

They will never break us up Barbie, I promise, ignore them, what we have is real.

blinky_twinkie December 5, 2008 at 5:28 pm

Dude writes for Hopey AND directed “Ironman”???

rubyji December 5, 2008 at 5:30 pm

Maybe I’m delicate, but that photo is So Wrong. Just… ew.

obfuscator December 5, 2008 at 5:38 pm

The Audacity of Grope!

Strange We Can Believe In!

shortsshortsshorts December 5, 2008 at 5:39 pm

[re=192505]FreshCliches[/re]: MEGA-WIN. You have just blasted your way through my butt-cheeks and straight into my heart.

AxmxZ December 5, 2008 at 5:44 pm

Why is he sticking a beer bottle up her nose?..

slavojzizek December 5, 2008 at 5:47 pm

What do you expect from a guy who considers Vince Vaughan ‘a close friend’?

WIDTAP December 5, 2008 at 5:49 pm

Clinton senior adviser Philippe Reines cast the photos as evidence of increased bonhomie between the formerly rival camps. “Senator Clinton is pleased to learn of Jon’s obvious interest in the State Department, and is currently reviewing his application,” he said in an e-mail.

Philippe Reines for the WIN!

Josh Fruhlinger December 5, 2008 at 5:51 pm

It’s funny because Obama’s chief speechwriter is seven years younger than I am. And a drunken moron.

Whiskeybaby December 5, 2008 at 5:53 pm

I’d let that dude on the left grope my cardboard breast any old time.

Kwame'sLittleHelper December 5, 2008 at 5:57 pm

This may be my screen saver for, like, a week. I just hope the Lindsey England/Abu Ghraib/dog-leash version of this pic does not surface.

FreshCliches December 5, 2008 at 6:01 pm

[re=192511]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You’re shitting me!

Chief Grinning Eagle December 5, 2008 at 6:20 pm

[re=192494]Borat[/re]: If she was a guy they’d call her “Lucky Pierre.”

edgydrifter December 5, 2008 at 6:28 pm

For the record, I have never groped my lifesize cardboard Chewbacca. Well, maybe that one time, but I was seriously hamm’d.

robanybody December 5, 2008 at 6:31 pm

Note the Hillary cutout’s angled, martial stance. I think that’s the same one Bill practices his admittin’ and apologizin’ on.

sevenrepeat December 5, 2008 at 6:37 pm

They’re both cute. I’d let them get me drunk and grope me!

NoWireHangers December 5, 2008 at 6:48 pm

Barack, this “Favreau” is clearly a chump and one of my double majors was in English. CALL ME!

Theo_Mobius December 5, 2008 at 6:57 pm

That’s nothing. I have a picture of myself doing this with a printout of this picture. It’s very meta.

wickedlittledoll December 5, 2008 at 7:02 pm

Ha ha Favreau doing his best Saxby Chambliss impersonation…do you think he had Hillrod call him Big Daddy too?

Rowdy Monster December 5, 2008 at 7:05 pm

There’s been a leak from Hillary Clinton staffers reporting that, “The Senator says she is flattered by Favreau’s interest in her, and would like to offer him a job working very closely with her if he is interested.” She further added, “Mmm, Jon, you’re a cutie. If you’re out there, give me a call sometime.”

schvitzatura December 5, 2008 at 7:21 pm


schvitzatura December 5, 2008 at 7:28 pm

[re=192513]AxmxZ[/re]: Exactly. We all know that Crown Royal is the pre-confirmation Sec’y of State’s libation of choice!


Atheist Nun December 5, 2008 at 7:44 pm

1. This is one way to win at life while drunk: To have your drunken exploits end up as part of a national/international political incident. Jon Favreau = One Of Life’s Drunken Winners.

2. The long shot shows the HIllary cutout wearing a pair of tighty whiteys stuffed with 2 lemons and a banana.

3. That dude in the back right is laughing because somebody just swallowed a quarter.

Not_So_Much December 5, 2008 at 7:44 pm

I thought Jon Favreau was the fat, pathetic guy in Swingers with Vince Vaughn?

The only problem I have with the pic is that they’re trying to make her snort the heineken.

bitchincamaro December 5, 2008 at 7:48 pm

[re=192557]sevenrepeat[/re]: Call me.

Borat December 5, 2008 at 8:00 pm

Hillz – you don’t have any calls calling on Barry to denouce and reject these boyz? Or are you saving those words for Putin?

S.Luggo December 5, 2008 at 8:34 pm

Why should Jon Favreau apologize to Hillary? During the last 16 years neither her right nor left hemisphere has been touched by human hands (if one excludes a certain bi-weekly commotion in the Senate cloak room with Orin Hatch.)
Besides, he’s French. Gosh darn, we all know how frisky those people can get.

Hans Xioaping December 5, 2008 at 8:43 pm

What a classy guy!

Jesus Christ.

Hans Xioaping December 5, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Really like the crown moulding though.

S.Luggo December 5, 2008 at 9:13 pm

[re=192467]World B Free[/re]: Star.
Once in front of the squid eye of the digital lens, none of us are anonymous.
This is why one must always, always wear a ski mask and a hoodie, even at family events.
Works for me. Besides, my whiny bail bondsman insists.

BTW: Photography was invented in the mid-19th Century by Generation A. No photos of Matthew Brady being bad does one ever see.

cal December 5, 2008 at 9:16 pm

It’s not a scandal without nude pics. Preferably of the 27 year old speechwriter.

Aquannissiwamissoo December 5, 2008 at 9:25 pm

Why are they doing that bad stuff to Olivia Newton John?

snideinplainsight December 5, 2008 at 9:27 pm

Hillz is so cold, that vase is wearing a scarf!

badmuthagoose December 5, 2008 at 9:29 pm

When are these kids gonna learn? I’m 38. I’m lucky I’m in Generation X, the LAST generation of people to completely grow up with no internet, no webcams, no facebook or myspace or any of that. We did ALL the same stuff, all of it. But there’s very little to no photographic evidence. And definitely no video evidence. Thank GOD.

Interestingly my daughter, born in 1994, is among the first generation of people who will grow up never NOT having those things. And Generation Douchebag (to which this guy probably belongs) and the little Millenials better learn fast about those photograph thingies. And spreading ‘em everywhere.

Mr Blifil December 5, 2008 at 9:41 pm

Here we see the disastrous impact of the popular “Flat Stanley” series of books on the minds of entire generations of American kids.

Hans Xioaping December 5, 2008 at 10:01 pm

So this guy is the new Rob Lowe/Sam Seaborn.

Fondling a cardboard cutout?

God and I thought I was pathetic.

Hans Xioaping December 5, 2008 at 10:13 pm

Dear God,

After I sell the house, please let me have enough money to
move to Costa Rica?

Please. I’ve been good. I didn’t vote for Obama, I know,
but I almost did. I stood there but the felt tip pen
was dried up and they had to get another one and I only voted
for one person. But I couldn’t vote for President because I didn’t
want to be sad anymore. But I showed up! And that was big because
you know how I feel about going outside. So that was big and I stood
in line behind the man who was talking about…well I won’t say here, God.

Please God. Please let someone buy our house especially since
we can’t find jobs. We paid off our mortgage like good boys and girls
and everything. We’re not even going to wonder why this
27 year old idiot has this job and we don’t have jobs because
we don’t care anymore. But God, if you’re really out there,
please please help. I pray to you every night, even though I
know you must be a little pissed off about my not going to church anymore.
I just couldn’t and I’m very very sorry. I’m embarrassed to say it,
but since we don’t have jobs we can’t afford to go to church.

God December 5, 2008 at 10:59 pm

Damn, the crap you people want from me.

You “can’t afford to go to church”? That’s horse pucky. Step outside. Are there stars? Is there a sky? Are there trees? Hey, I’m there!

Have you or any immediate members of your family actually starved to death? So quit your damned whining, and appreciate this marvelous universe that I have provided — simply for your entertainment. And quit being such a damned pussy.

P.S. I will send you to eternal damnation for not voting for Obama. Hey, got you! Just kidding.

ivenson December 5, 2008 at 11:01 pm

Granite counter top, $250 Kohler faucet, custom window treatments, giant wrought iron thingy that was probably once in someone’s barn or church and was purchased for a fortune at Restoration Hardware….and D-Bag is drinking Heiniken? Even if it’s Rolling Rock….backwards hat, please.

Toomush Infermashun December 5, 2008 at 11:09 pm

All right, I have to ask, since people keep sayin’….what part of the cardboard is “cutout”…?

Hillz December 5, 2008 at 11:13 pm

Why is that perv fondling my armpit? What I was hoping for was a darned good goosing!

Hans Xioaping December 5, 2008 at 11:25 pm

[re=192683]God[/re]: Jesus Christ. God sounds like Karl Rove.

Oh my God.

Hans Xioaping December 5, 2008 at 11:28 pm

[re=192685]ivenson[/re]: I think there is one of those
little soap stainless steel pumper things that is
built in. That’s what really screams something to me.

Not big on the window treatment. I don’t like fabric
hanging from walls. I’m curtain averse.

Never understood it.

Yep, it looks like Obama is making really really good choices.

God December 5, 2008 at 11:43 pm

[re=192693]Hans Xioaping[/re]: Neh. You are the one who wants to move somewhere where Catholicism is the official state religion. Those fellows like little boys — and can’t take a joke. No one ever expected the Costa Rican Inquisition!

If you don’t know Karl Rove from say, a bald, bearded, horse-tailed satyr who balances a wine cup on his erect penis, Theology 101 is not the course for you.

Hans Xioaping December 5, 2008 at 11:48 pm

[re=192699]God[/re]: I took Theology 101 already.

It didn’t help.

As for the bald bearded guy I met him already
on another webthing, but we broke up.

Thanks for reminding me of a sad, brokenhearted time.


House of Yes December 6, 2008 at 12:05 am

i spy a cyber romance brewing with god” and “hans xioaping”….its quite endearing, now get a room you to.

Hans Xioaping December 6, 2008 at 12:09 am

Oh great :(

House of Yeses thing is broken :(

House of Yes December 6, 2008 at 12:12 am

i know, very wacked and i was commenting about you…..and god :(

House of Yes December 6, 2008 at 12:29 am

the goverment hacked my computer and tried to destroy my avatar. i blame bush!

james_cambridge December 6, 2008 at 12:46 am

What does that ball-buster Hillary have to complain about? That’s the most action she’s seen in 30 years, since her wedding night when Bill fulfilled his husbandly duty that one and only night. Man, maybe it’s ’cause I’m from Massachusetts but I wish those frat boys were getting me drunk and groping me…lucky cardboard bitch!!!

S.Luggo December 6, 2008 at 1:18 am

[re=192664]Hans Xioaping[/re]: Cardboard is cool. It will never ask you for your cell number in the morning.

Hans the Diaper December 6, 2008 at 2:48 am

[re=192739]S.Luggo[/re]: My cell number in the morning is the
same one I have in the evening.

I guess I’m not really very hip.


facehead December 6, 2008 at 3:04 am

:) blah blah blah frush.


This story was so good I just didn’t want to comment.

Instead, I ask all of you to stop using the smiley, as it ruins the next commenters coment.

OR, if you do use a smiley, at least type something on some line below (see below),

OR, perhaps our Wonkette overlords will use some sort of intertube sorcery and fix this malicious bug, before the smileypocalypse starts.



facehead December 6, 2008 at 3:07 am

fuck the world.

Stovepipe Hat December 6, 2008 at 3:11 am

These antics remind me too much of George W. Bush.

p-Sludge ofTheElves December 6, 2008 at 6:39 am

Back when Hil was a young repug, this was her dream.
To get with the fratboys.

lawrenceofthedesert December 6, 2008 at 10:14 am

To the victor belongs the spoiled.

gordoburro December 6, 2008 at 10:15 am

I want you all to know that I know douche bags and I also know the dudes in the picture from high school and they really aren’t douche bags. They were the smart kids that weren’t socially crippled. I on the other hand was the classic socially retarded theater kid.

astroprofeddie December 6, 2008 at 12:27 pm

Nose sex with Hillary using a beer bottle. The speechwriter just wanted to grab some boob…very tame by comparison. I am very aroused by the Hillary cutout… I feel dirty..the good kind of dirty.b

Hans the Diaper December 6, 2008 at 12:58 pm


I feels a speech about heat and air coming on.
(see below)

Today, I am announcing a few key parts of my plan. First, we will launch a massive effort to make public buildings more energy-efficient. Our government now pays the highest energy bill in the world. We need to change that. We need to upgrade our federal buildings by replacing old heating systems and installing efficient light bulbs. That won’t just save you, the American taxpayer, billions of dollars each year. It will put people back to work.

And I thought he had nothing. Well, boy howdy, was I ever wrong!

SayItWithWookies December 6, 2008 at 1:10 pm

[re=192811]Hans the Diaper[/re]: My tires are inflated to 64 psi, so I’m, like, saving the energy of two cars.

Rush December 6, 2008 at 2:26 pm

“Socialist, drunk and groping Hillary is no way to go through life, son.”

freeradical December 6, 2008 at 3:36 pm

[re=192467]World B Free[/re]: Because Gen Y kids never knew learned how to handle their alcohol. You grow up on Justin Timerlake and see what happens…

freeradical December 6, 2008 at 3:37 pm


smellyal8r December 6, 2008 at 4:57 pm

[re=192470]King of Pants[/re]: Or what Jesse Jackson did with the Obama cut-out.

smellyal8r December 6, 2008 at 5:02 pm

I also assume Jon’s excuse for all this is: “we never thought we’d win.”

He’ll get a stern talking to from a smiling Rahm Emanuel as he’s hired as chief speechwriter. “Stay out of her way and don’t go to Foggy Bottom without asking me. Also, make yourself scarce the night of the SOU, even though you wrote the speech.”

rocktonsammy December 6, 2008 at 6:42 pm

And the teen pregnancy rate is down.


1ofUS December 6, 2008 at 9:45 pm

My mellow Samaritans, now is time for all woodenly sotted manikins to come to embrace their cardboard opponents.

Edywin December 7, 2008 at 2:32 am

When contemplating a career in our nation’s capitol, it is essential that you realize the importance of you being an example to the world of burgeoning democracies. In many other countries, career government service is looked upon with disdain and ridicule. But in the cradle of modern democracy,prospective government workers know the seriousness of their positions and act accordingly, whether in a public or private setting. Remember that the position you are applying for might be for someone of considerable stature in our nation and our world. This would lead some to think that they were in a class above other citizens of this great nation, but as you and your actions can prove to the world, these great leaders, and possibly their spouses, are equals with the rest of our fellow citizens, and should garner the same respect as you would give your or my mother, for example. By the way, your mother is very attractive. I might have to visit her from time to time to evaluate your application for employment more thoroughly.
Thanks for your application, and please deposit your Heiniken bottles accordingly. A good American and prospective government employee recycles.

zhubajie December 7, 2008 at 7:57 am

“In many other countries, career government service is looked upon with disdain and ridicule.”

Actually, most other countries assume it the road to riches. Mostly they are right, too.

Zhu Bajie

shortsshortsshorts December 7, 2008 at 12:58 pm

[re=192754]facehead[/re]: Agreed. Heartily.

Edywin December 8, 2008 at 1:38 pm

Sorry for the slow reply, I was busy sleeping in my mail truck. It is tough work going through Christmas post looking for cheques. Oooh another fruit basket!

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