Obama’s Chief Speechwriter Somehow Let This Photo Be On Facebook

  i double dog dare you to grab her breast

Here’s the photo du jour that “popped up” on the Facebook for a couple of hours, showing a couple of good ol’ frat boys, one of whom is getting Hillary Clinton drunk while the other pulls a Saxby. Unfortunately for him, the squeezer on the left happens to be Obama’s sexy 27-year-old speechwriter, Jon Favreau, who would like to work in the Obama Administration. He has offered Clinton an apology in what must have been a terribly uncomfortable conversation. [Washington Post]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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107 comments

  1. World B Free

    Whoops. Why is it that these Generation Y kids didn’t learn the valuable Generation X lesson? No photographs.

  2. The Real JR Revisted

    Cardboard boob grab!

    Also, nice touch with the “Obama Staff” T-shirt. It’s like he’s a KISS roadie… but way cooler.

  3. Gorillionaire

    What’s the big deal? For years I had a life sized Blondie cardboard cut out that I partied with, drank with, and did the “saxby” with. And damn it I loved that girl! How could could Hillary not feel anything but adulation?

  4. Texan Bulldoggette

    Hillz should probably be flattered someone wants to grope her. That cutouts probably seen more action than she has in about 20 years.

  5. shortsshortsshorts

    Absolutely no apology is necessary. Not only were they giving Hillz tons of love and affection, they were feeding her strong drink and providing her an opportunity to fraternize.

  6. anabellum

    meh…just a typical date at a frat boy kegger…

    what ya wanna bet there are semen stains on the cut-out?…

  7. sarahconnor

    That’s his speechwriter!? These guys look like they should be in a gay Abercrombie and Fitch ad. wierd.

    I’m sure Hilz was all, you two can make a sandwich with me anytime, you saw how i grabbed those microphones at the press conference the other day, know what i’m sayin’???

  8. TGY

    Also, I’ve heard more complaints from friends about pics of them OTHER PEOPLE put up on Facebook. Including low jean ‘Crackinstein’ photos and so forth. Facebook is not your friend! Wake up, people!

  9. TeddyS

    Our SexyState Hilz graciously accepted the apology on the condition that Jon first write a suitable note that clears her of any wrongdoing in connection with his unexpected suicide.

  10. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Why’d he have to apologize? Nobody forced Clinton to get drunk snorting beer with them.

  11. StrangelyBrown

    Was this the “Saxby fix” Hillary needed to be SecState?

    If more constitutional crises could be resolved this way, I might have to become a Paultard.

  12. stumpycuse

    C’mon, how hard is it be an Obama speechwriter: “Change, Hope, blah, blah, blah, Change.” Seriously, this shit is easy.

  13. tocute2btrue

    At the Party end Hilliary was wearing only Panties and a Bra, I glad they didn’t get a pic of that.

  14. Kev-O-Tron

    Probably a standard frat boy apology: I’m sorry you got so drunk and can’t remember telling me to grab your cardboard tits.

  15. pourmecoffee

    He must be the one who wrote the “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” speech. Very inspirational.

  16. lazyb

    [re=192467]World B Free[/re]: So true. Kids today are convinced that every dumbshit thing they do needs to be photographed. I am a bit sad that so much of the hopechange blah blah that got me all teary and inspired and shit was written by a douchebag fratboy. I feel…used like a Hillary cutout.

  17. Borat

    [re=192467]World B Free[/re]: I stole a couple Billz and Hillz cutouts at a company party following the ’92 election. Those are really good fun. But I agree, I learned Pixxx are bad (at least those with you in them).

    I’m trying to think through the reaction if this were Snowbilly & a Walnuts speech writer. I honestly can’t figure out if people would be offended or encourage it. But, I’m certain there would be a Cougary Quicky somehow involved

  18. WagTehGod

    Probably just Twittered the apology. Only 140 characters allowed, so no long awkward conversations.

  19. sarcasticusername

    barry’s probably a little pissed that even his own staffers would rather drink with annie “hillz” oakley, than his scrawny elitist ass. can you blame them though? nobody wants to carry their lightweight boss home at the end of the night, especially if you have to bring him home to michelle.

  20. rocktonsammy

    God our country is being taken over by a bunch of Ryan Reynolds wanna bees.

    I ain’t giving up my Sarah Palin life size cardboard cut out.

    They will never break us up Barbie, I promise, ignore them, what we have is real.

  21. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=192505]FreshCliches[/re]: MEGA-WIN. You have just blasted your way through my butt-cheeks and straight into my heart.

  22. WIDTAP

    Clinton senior adviser Philippe Reines cast the photos as evidence of increased bonhomie between the formerly rival camps. “Senator Clinton is pleased to learn of Jon’s obvious interest in the State Department, and is currently reviewing his application,” he said in an e-mail.

    Philippe Reines for the WIN!

  23. Kwame'sLittleHelper

    This may be my screen saver for, like, a week. I just hope the Lindsey England/Abu Ghraib/dog-leash version of this pic does not surface.

  24. edgydrifter

    For the record, I have never groped my lifesize cardboard Chewbacca. Well, maybe that one time, but I was seriously hamm’d.

  25. robanybody

    Note the Hillary cutout’s angled, martial stance. I think that’s the same one Bill practices his admittin’ and apologizin’ on.

  26. NoWireHangers

    Barack, this “Favreau” is clearly a chump and one of my double majors was in English. CALL ME!

  27. Theo_Mobius

    That’s nothing. I have a picture of myself doing this with a printout of this picture. It’s very meta.

  28. Rowdy Monster

    There’s been a leak from Hillary Clinton staffers reporting that, “The Senator says she is flattered by Favreau’s interest in her, and would like to offer him a job working very closely with her if he is interested.” She further added, “Mmm, Jon, you’re a cutie. If you’re out there, give me a call sometime.”

  29. schvitzatura

    [re=192513]AxmxZ[/re]: Exactly. We all know that Crown Royal is the pre-confirmation Sec’y of State’s libation of choice!

    Cougariffic!

  30. Atheist Nun

    1. This is one way to win at life while drunk: To have your drunken exploits end up as part of a national/international political incident. Jon Favreau = One Of Life’s Drunken Winners.

    2. The long shot shows the HIllary cutout wearing a pair of tighty whiteys stuffed with 2 lemons and a banana.

    3. That dude in the back right is laughing because somebody just swallowed a quarter.

  31. Not_So_Much

    I thought Jon Favreau was the fat, pathetic guy in Swingers with Vince Vaughn?

    The only problem I have with the pic is that they’re trying to make her snort the heineken.

  32. Borat

    Hillz – you don’t have any calls calling on Barry to denouce and reject these boyz? Or are you saving those words for Putin?

  33. S.Luggo

    Why should Jon Favreau apologize to Hillary? During the last 16 years neither her right nor left hemisphere has been touched by human hands (if one excludes a certain bi-weekly commotion in the Senate cloak room with Orin Hatch.)
    Besides, he’s French. Gosh darn, we all know how frisky those people can get.

  34. S.Luggo

    [re=192467]World B Free[/re]: Star.
    Once in front of the squid eye of the digital lens, none of us are anonymous.
    This is why one must always, always wear a ski mask and a hoodie, even at family events.
    Works for me. Besides, my whiny bail bondsman insists.

    BTW: Photography was invented in the mid-19th Century by Generation A. No photos of Matthew Brady being bad does one ever see.

  35. badmuthagoose

    When are these kids gonna learn? I’m 38. I’m lucky I’m in Generation X, the LAST generation of people to completely grow up with no internet, no webcams, no facebook or myspace or any of that. We did ALL the same stuff, all of it. But there’s very little to no photographic evidence. And definitely no video evidence. Thank GOD.

    Interestingly my daughter, born in 1994, is among the first generation of people who will grow up never NOT having those things. And Generation Douchebag (to which this guy probably belongs) and the little Millenials better learn fast about those photograph thingies. And spreading ‘em everywhere.

  36. Mr Blifil

    Here we see the disastrous impact of the popular “Flat Stanley” series of books on the minds of entire generations of American kids.

  37. Hans Xioaping

    So this guy is the new Rob Lowe/Sam Seaborn.

    Fondling a cardboard cutout?

    God and I thought I was pathetic.

  38. Hans Xioaping

    Dear God,

    After I sell the house, please let me have enough money to
    move to Costa Rica?

    Please. I’ve been good. I didn’t vote for Obama, I know,
    but I almost did. I stood there but the felt tip pen
    was dried up and they had to get another one and I only voted
    for one person. But I couldn’t vote for President because I didn’t
    want to be sad anymore. But I showed up! And that was big because
    you know how I feel about going outside. So that was big and I stood
    in line behind the man who was talking about…well I won’t say here, God.

    Please God. Please let someone buy our house especially since
    we can’t find jobs. We paid off our mortgage like good boys and girls
    and everything. We’re not even going to wonder why this
    27 year old idiot has this job and we don’t have jobs because
    we don’t care anymore. But God, if you’re really out there,
    please please help. I pray to you every night, even though I
    know you must be a little pissed off about my not going to church anymore.
    I just couldn’t and I’m very very sorry. I’m embarrassed to say it,
    but since we don’t have jobs we can’t afford to go to church.

  39. God

    Damn, the crap you people want from me.

    You “can’t afford to go to church”? That’s horse pucky. Step outside. Are there stars? Is there a sky? Are there trees? Hey, I’m there!

    Have you or any immediate members of your family actually starved to death? So quit your damned whining, and appreciate this marvelous universe that I have provided — simply for your entertainment. And quit being such a damned pussy.

    P.S. I will send you to eternal damnation for not voting for Obama. Hey, got you! Just kidding.

  40. ivenson

    Granite counter top, $250 Kohler faucet, custom window treatments, giant wrought iron thingy that was probably once in someone’s barn or church and was purchased for a fortune at Restoration Hardware….and D-Bag is drinking Heiniken? Even if it’s Rolling Rock….backwards hat, please.

  41. Toomush Infermashun

    All right, I have to ask, since people keep sayin’….what part of the cardboard is “cutout”…?

  42. Hans Xioaping

    [re=192685]ivenson[/re]: I think there is one of those
    little soap stainless steel pumper things that is
    built in. That’s what really screams something to me.

    Not big on the window treatment. I don’t like fabric
    hanging from walls. I’m curtain averse.

    Never understood it.

    Yep, it looks like Obama is making really really good choices.

  43. God

    [re=192693]Hans Xioaping[/re]: Neh. You are the one who wants to move somewhere where Catholicism is the official state religion. Those fellows like little boys — and can’t take a joke. No one ever expected the Costa Rican Inquisition!

    If you don’t know Karl Rove from say, a bald, bearded, horse-tailed satyr who balances a wine cup on his erect penis, Theology 101 is not the course for you.

  44. Hans Xioaping

    [re=192699]God[/re]: I took Theology 101 already.

    It didn’t help.

    As for the bald bearded guy I met him already
    on another webthing, but we broke up.

    Thanks for reminding me of a sad, brokenhearted time.

    :(

  45. House of Yes

    i spy a cyber romance brewing with god” and “hans xioaping”….its quite endearing, now get a room you to.

  46. james_cambridge

    What does that ball-buster Hillary have to complain about? That’s the most action she’s seen in 30 years, since her wedding night when Bill fulfilled his husbandly duty that one and only night. Man, maybe it’s ’cause I’m from Massachusetts but I wish those frat boys were getting me drunk and groping me…lucky cardboard bitch!!!

  47. S.Luggo

    [re=192664]Hans Xioaping[/re]: Cardboard is cool. It will never ask you for your cell number in the morning.

  48. Hans the Diaper

    [re=192739]S.Luggo[/re]: My cell number in the morning is the
    same one I have in the evening.

    I guess I’m not really very hip.

    :(

  49. facehead

    :) blah blah blah frush.

    :)

    This story was so good I just didn’t want to comment.

    Instead, I ask all of you to stop using the smiley, as it ruins the next commenters coment.

    OR, if you do use a smiley, at least type something on some line below (see below),

    OR, perhaps our Wonkette overlords will use some sort of intertube sorcery and fix this malicious bug, before the smileypocalypse starts.

    :)

    .

  50. gordoburro

    I want you all to know that I know douche bags and I also know the dudes in the picture from high school and they really aren’t douche bags. They were the smart kids that weren’t socially crippled. I on the other hand was the classic socially retarded theater kid.

  51. astroprofeddie

    Nose sex with Hillary using a beer bottle. The speechwriter just wanted to grab some boob…very tame by comparison. I am very aroused by the Hillary cutout… I feel dirty..the good kind of dirty.b

  52. Hans the Diaper

    http://change.gov/newsroom/entry/the_key_parts_of_the_jobs_plan/

    I feels a speech about heat and air coming on.
    (see below)

    Today, I am announcing a few key parts of my plan. First, we will launch a massive effort to make public buildings more energy-efficient. Our government now pays the highest energy bill in the world. We need to change that. We need to upgrade our federal buildings by replacing old heating systems and installing efficient light bulbs. That won’t just save you, the American taxpayer, billions of dollars each year. It will put people back to work.

    And I thought he had nothing. Well, boy howdy, was I ever wrong!

  53. SayItWithWookies

    [re=192811]Hans the Diaper[/re]: My tires are inflated to 64 psi, so I’m, like, saving the energy of two cars.

  54. freeradical

    [re=192467]World B Free[/re]: Because Gen Y kids never knew learned how to handle their alcohol. You grow up on Justin Timerlake and see what happens…

  55. smellyal8r

    I also assume Jon’s excuse for all this is: “we never thought we’d win.”

    He’ll get a stern talking to from a smiling Rahm Emanuel as he’s hired as chief speechwriter. “Stay out of her way and don’t go to Foggy Bottom without asking me. Also, make yourself scarce the night of the SOU, even though you wrote the speech.”

  56. 1ofUS

    My mellow Samaritans, now is time for all woodenly sotted manikins to come to embrace their cardboard opponents.

  57. Edywin

    When contemplating a career in our nation’s capitol, it is essential that you realize the importance of you being an example to the world of burgeoning democracies. In many other countries, career government service is looked upon with disdain and ridicule. But in the cradle of modern democracy,prospective government workers know the seriousness of their positions and act accordingly, whether in a public or private setting. Remember that the position you are applying for might be for someone of considerable stature in our nation and our world. This would lead some to think that they were in a class above other citizens of this great nation, but as you and your actions can prove to the world, these great leaders, and possibly their spouses, are equals with the rest of our fellow citizens, and should garner the same respect as you would give your or my mother, for example. By the way, your mother is very attractive. I might have to visit her from time to time to evaluate your application for employment more thoroughly.
    Thanks for your application, and please deposit your Heiniken bottles accordingly. A good American and prospective government employee recycles.

  58. zhubajie

    “In many other countries, career government service is looked upon with disdain and ridicule.”

    Actually, most other countries assume it the road to riches. Mostly they are right, too.

    Zhu Bajie

  59. Edywin

    Sorry for the slow reply, I was busy sleeping in my mail truck. It is tough work going through Christmas post looking for cheques. Oooh another fruit basket!

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