SPECIAL PROJECTS  2:05 pm December 5, 2008

Look, An Election Night Time Capsule, On The Internet, For Aliens

by Jim Newell

Our time capsule will be filled with this childFriendly blogger Aaron Cohen sent us a nifty thing he made, on the Internet: “I recently set out to create an election reactions reference that could be used in the future to help get an idea for what people were thinking in the week or so after November 4th.” He even included your Wonkette! (After your Wonkette cursed at him for not including us.) The section showing various peoples’ Obama victory posts is pretty great and will probably make you sad saps cry. [Unlikely Words]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 34 comments }

NewSpence December 5, 2008 at 2:11 pm

Isn’t the Obama Presidency already like, half way over?

nmmagayar December 5, 2008 at 2:14 pm

That would be great for me – I was either drunk or hung over for the week or so after the election. I have only very fuzzy, or very painful, memories.

shortsshortsshorts December 5, 2008 at 2:15 pm

WHAT? OBAMA WON?
HE ISN’T EVEN ELIGIBLE TO BE PREZDINT!!1!@
* NO BIRTH CERTIFICATE
* NO CLIENT SCHEDULE RELEASED
* NO HARVARD REPORT CARD THINGIES
* NO AUTHENTICITICATION OF CITZENSHIT
* NO FANSIE BLING
* NO WHITENESS
* NO NO NO NO NO NONNON ONON ON ONOON OONONN ONON ON !@#!!!!((*!!!!!)!@#&!!!@!

shortsshortsshorts December 5, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Oh—- and a photo-caption WIN for Mr. James Newell.

NoWireHangers December 5, 2008 at 2:17 pm

My time capsule will contain:
- 1 Walnut
- Unicorn Powder (from 1 unicorn horn)
- Bouffant/buffoon wig
- Plunger
- 1 Burkah
- 1 JC Penney Pantsuit in bitter blue
- 1 case “Senator Beer”
- 3 Joe Biden hair plugs
- Tears of Jim Newell
- 1 “fist bump” commemorative button

lovekills December 5, 2008 at 2:18 pm

I always cry in my hobo life:( You have a problem with that?

Ted bin Perino December 5, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Even the animal kingdom was filled with joy and love. My Burmese python gave my new kitten the sweetest hug!

TGY December 5, 2008 at 2:24 pm

get an idea for what people were thinking

Wonkette? Ass-fucking, definitely.

JadedDIssonance December 5, 2008 at 2:27 pm

I got about halfway down the celebrations page before tearing up.

Drag queens singing the national anthem?

FreshCliches December 5, 2008 at 2:27 pm

In these days of the intertubz, content is king. Particularly if you aggregate others into your own site.

TGY December 5, 2008 at 2:30 pm

BWahahaha, South Park. “We’ll probably be dead by sunrise.”

SayItWithWookies December 5, 2008 at 2:31 pm

It doesn’t include an email from David Plouffe asking for money? Oh, yeah — ’cause those’ll be going on forever!

TGY December 5, 2008 at 2:34 pm

[re=192249]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Don’t they have to PURGE THE DATABASE BY FIRE when Barry actually gets inaugurated? I read something similar to that. Then they have to solicit our emails all over again and we’ll probably be dumb enough to sign back up.

Lascauxcaveman December 5, 2008 at 2:36 pm

Couldn’t he just put some bookmarks in his browser?

Toomush Infermashun December 5, 2008 at 2:39 pm

I dunno, I voted for the guy, and he really hasn’t done much so far – should I be looking for some new saviour, or just keep drinking….? I do wish he’d hurry up…

shortsshortsshorts December 5, 2008 at 2:43 pm

[re=192262]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: Ya rearry. Iz bin liek a munth and eie downt C n.e. jainj yet.

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 5, 2008 at 2:44 pm

I hope they remembered to pup Obama’s new puppy in the box before burying it.

Cape Clod December 5, 2008 at 2:46 pm

[re=192227]NoWireHangers[/re]: No Truck Nutz?

monty December 5, 2008 at 2:49 pm

[re=165667]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: lulz

shortsshortsshorts December 5, 2008 at 3:03 pm

[re=192278]monty[/re]: I have waited and waited for AngryBlakGuy’s comment to appear, but to no avail. What of that?

Borat December 5, 2008 at 3:12 pm

I hope they are not planning on putting that baby in the time capsule.

On the other hand, maybe its better to hibernate for a couple years and come out when the giant cockroaches have taken over. It would give you a competitive advantage.

finallyhappy December 5, 2008 at 3:17 pm

[re=192227]NoWireHangers[/re]: I actually have the campaign button of the fist bump that I wear on my coat. Now if you ever see me, you will know who I really am since I have not seen anyone else with this button. I wear it so other terrorists can recognize me as one of them.

NoWireHangers December 5, 2008 at 3:23 pm

[re=192330]finallyhappy[/re]: That button was so totally sold out when I tried to order it, as was the fridge magnet. I’m going to need your button for my capsule. Fork it over! Spread the wealth!

NoWireHangers December 5, 2008 at 3:26 pm

[re=192274]Cape Clod[/re]: Sadly, Truck Nutz didn’t play much of a role in this election. They’re more of a Wonkette meme and will be saved for the Wonkette capsule. Said capsule will include Truck Nutz, whore diamonds, Maf54, Jim Newell’s tears, a lock of Ken’s beard, Sara’s glasses, some other stuff I can’t think of right now, and shortsshortsshorts.

SayItWithWookies December 5, 2008 at 3:35 pm

[re=192303]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Something weird’s going on. FinallyHappy’s comment to which NoWireHangers replied isn’t here either.

Borat December 5, 2008 at 3:37 pm

From the ‘About Us’ section of the Powerline website

“Paul supports Everton FC of the English Premier Soccer League, as well as the Washington Redskins, the Washington Wizards, and the University of Maryland basketball team.”

The English Premier SOCCER Leauge? What the hell is this guy talking about? I immediately get the impression he is one of those guys who tries to act impressive to his fellow ‘mericans because he has a connection to Ye Olde Worlde (e.g., a couple Palin length stopovers somewhere). And trying to look like he really knows what’s going on by supporting a more obscure team.

I could go on and on about this Paul Fussell like characteristic, but I’d just get silly.

Borat December 5, 2008 at 3:37 pm

[re=192365]Borat[/re]: oops wrong thread. I was too steamed with too many windows open

space stout December 5, 2008 at 3:38 pm

[re=192225]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: yes, but which child?

finallyhappy December 5, 2008 at 3:52 pm

[re=192360]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yea, it is- at 3:17 Pm- right above nowirehangars answer.

shortsshortsshorts December 5, 2008 at 3:58 pm

[re=192372]space stout[/re]: The one that the liberals don’t abort.

answerbird December 5, 2008 at 4:36 pm

[re=192227]NoWireHangers[/re]: You need to add Trig Palin in the capsule. I would even add the Palin Turkey even though the event happened after election day. I would add Michelle Bachman for good measure too.

zetetic December 5, 2008 at 4:59 pm

These time capsules are a great idea. Decades from now, as our doomed progeny wander through a desolate landscape, these metal boxes will have heaved up from the tortured soil, and the shards torn therefrom will make valuable trade goods and, when sharpened to a point, weapons for further reducing the decimated population.

One can never plan too far in advance, I always say.

Hooray For Anything December 5, 2008 at 7:50 pm

Why are we still being happy about all of this? I thought we were supposed to be upset with him because he didn’t make Dennis Kucinich the Secretary of State, personally bought everyone’s foreclosed home back, made Detroit super profitable because of his proposal to build solar powered hydrocars, and made citizen’s arrests on the entire Bush administration?

House of Yes December 6, 2008 at 12:23 am

why?

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