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Look, An Election Night Time Capsule, On The Internet, For Aliens

Our time capsule will be filled with this childFriendly blogger Aaron Cohen sent us a nifty thing he made, on the Internet: “I recently set out to create an election reactions reference that could be used in the future to help get an idea for what people were thinking in the week or so after November 4th.” He even included your Wonkette! (After your Wonkette cursed at him for not including us.) The section showing various peoples’ Obama victory posts is pretty great and will probably make you sad saps cry. [Unlikely Words]


2:05 PM on Fri December 5 2008
By Jim Newell
991 Views

  1. NewSpence says at 2:11 pm, December 5th, 2008

    Isn’t the Obama Presidency already like, half way over?

  2. nmmagayar says at 2:14 pm, December 5th, 2008

    That would be great for me - I was either drunk or hung over for the week or so after the election. I have only very fuzzy, or very painful, memories.

  3. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:15 pm, December 5th, 2008

    WHAT? OBAMA WON?
    HE ISN’T EVEN ELIGIBLE TO BE PREZDINT!!1!@
    * NO BIRTH CERTIFICATE
    * NO CLIENT SCHEDULE RELEASED
    * NO HARVARD REPORT CARD THINGIES
    * NO AUTHENTICITICATION OF CITZENSHIT
    * NO FANSIE BLING
    * NO WHITENESS
    * NO NO NO NO NO NONNON ONON ON ONOON OONONN ONON ON !@#!!!!((*!!!!!)!@#&!!!@!

  4. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:16 pm, December 5th, 2008

    Oh—- and a photo-caption WIN for Mr. James Newell.

  5. NoWireHangers says at 2:17 pm, December 5th, 2008

    My time capsule will contain:
    - 1 Walnut
    - Unicorn Powder (from 1 unicorn horn)
    - Bouffant/buffoon wig
    - Plunger
    - 1 Burkah
    - 1 JC Penney Pantsuit in bitter blue
    - 1 case “Senator Beer”
    - 3 Joe Biden hair plugs
    - Tears of Jim Newell
    - 1 “fist bump” commemorative button

  6. lovekills says at 2:18 pm, December 5th, 2008

    I always cry in my hobo life:( You have a problem with that?

  7. Ted bin Perino says at 2:18 pm, December 5th, 2008

    Even the animal kingdom was filled with joy and love. My Burmese python gave my new kitten the sweetest hug!

  8. get an idea for what people were thinking

    Wonkette? Ass-fucking, definitely.

  9. JadedDIssonance says at 2:27 pm, December 5th, 2008

    I got about halfway down the celebrations page before tearing up.

    Drag queens singing the national anthem?

  10. FreshCliches says at 2:27 pm, December 5th, 2008

    In these days of the intertubz, content is king. Particularly if you aggregate others into your own site.

  11. BWahahaha, South Park. “We’ll probably be dead by sunrise.”

  12. SayItWithWookies says at 2:31 pm, December 5th, 2008

    It doesn’t include an email from David Plouffe asking for money? Oh, yeah — ’cause those’ll be going on forever!

  13. SayItWithWookies: Don’t they have to PURGE THE DATABASE BY FIRE when Barry actually gets inaugurated? I read something similar to that. Then they have to solicit our emails all over again and we’ll probably be dumb enough to sign back up.

  14. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:36 pm, December 5th, 2008

    Couldn’t he just put some bookmarks in his browser?

  15. Toomush Infermashun says at 2:39 pm, December 5th, 2008

    I dunno, I voted for the guy, and he really hasn’t done much so far - should I be looking for some new saviour, or just keep drinking….? I do wish he’d hurry up…

  16. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:43 pm, December 5th, 2008

    Toomush Infermashun: Ya rearry. Iz bin liek a munth and eie downt C n.e. jainj yet.

  17. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 2:44 pm, December 5th, 2008

    I hope they remembered to pup Obama’s new puppy in the box before burying it.

  18. Cape Clod says at 2:46 pm, December 5th, 2008

    NoWireHangers: No Truck Nutz?

  19. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:03 pm, December 5th, 2008

    monty: I have waited and waited for AngryBlakGuy’s comment to appear, but to no avail. What of that?

  20. I hope they are not planning on putting that baby in the time capsule.

    On the other hand, maybe its better to hibernate for a couple years and come out when the giant cockroaches have taken over. It would give you a competitive advantage.

  21. finallyhappy says at 3:17 pm, December 5th, 2008

    NoWireHangers: I actually have the campaign button of the fist bump that I wear on my coat. Now if you ever see me, you will know who I really am since I have not seen anyone else with this button. I wear it so other terrorists can recognize me as one of them.

  22. NoWireHangers says at 3:23 pm, December 5th, 2008

    finallyhappy: That button was so totally sold out when I tried to order it, as was the fridge magnet. I’m going to need your button for my capsule. Fork it over! Spread the wealth!

  23. NoWireHangers says at 3:26 pm, December 5th, 2008

    Cape Clod: Sadly, Truck Nutz didn’t play much of a role in this election. They’re more of a Wonkette meme and will be saved for the Wonkette capsule. Said capsule will include Truck Nutz, whore diamonds, Maf54, Jim Newell’s tears, a lock of Ken’s beard, Sara’s glasses, some other stuff I can’t think of right now, and shortsshortsshorts.

  24. SayItWithWookies says at 3:35 pm, December 5th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Something weird’s going on. FinallyHappy’s comment to which NoWireHangers replied isn’t here either.

  25. From the ‘About Us’ section of the Powerline website

    “Paul supports Everton FC of the English Premier Soccer League, as well as the Washington Redskins, the Washington Wizards, and the University of Maryland basketball team.”

    The English Premier SOCCER Leauge? What the hell is this guy talking about? I immediately get the impression he is one of those guys who tries to act impressive to his fellow ‘mericans because he has a connection to Ye Olde Worlde (e.g., a couple Palin length stopovers somewhere). And trying to look like he really knows what’s going on by supporting a more obscure team.

    I could go on and on about this Paul Fussell like characteristic, but I’d just get silly.

  26. Borat: oops wrong thread. I was too steamed with too many windows open

  27. space stout says at 3:38 pm, December 5th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: yes, but which child?

  28. finallyhappy says at 3:52 pm, December 5th, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: Yea, it is- at 3:17 Pm- right above nowirehangars answer.

  29. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:58 pm, December 5th, 2008

    space stout: The one that the liberals don’t abort.

  30. answerbird says at 4:36 pm, December 5th, 2008

    NoWireHangers: You need to add Trig Palin in the capsule. I would even add the Palin Turkey even though the event happened after election day. I would add Michelle Bachman for good measure too.

  31. These time capsules are a great idea. Decades from now, as our doomed progeny wander through a desolate landscape, these metal boxes will have heaved up from the tortured soil, and the shards torn therefrom will make valuable trade goods and, when sharpened to a point, weapons for further reducing the decimated population.

    One can never plan too far in advance, I always say.

  32. Hooray For Anything says at 7:50 pm, December 5th, 2008

    Why are we still being happy about all of this? I thought we were supposed to be upset with him because he didn’t make Dennis Kucinich the Secretary of State, personally bought everyone’s foreclosed home back, made Detroit super profitable because of his proposal to build solar powered hydrocars, and made citizen’s arrests on the entire Bush administration?

  33. House of Yes says at 12:23 am, December 6th, 2008

    why?

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