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Look, An Election Night Time Capsule, On The Internet, For Aliens

Our time capsule will be filled with this childFriendly blogger Aaron Cohen sent us a nifty thing he made, on the Internet: “I recently set out to create an election reactions reference that could be used in the future to help get an idea for what people were thinking in the week or so after November 4th.” He even included your Wonkette! (After your Wonkette cursed at him for not including us.) The section showing various peoples’ Obama victory posts is pretty great and will probably make you sad saps cry. [Unlikely Words]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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34 comments

  1. nmmagayar

    That would be great for me – I was either drunk or hung over for the week or so after the election. I have only very fuzzy, or very painful, memories.

  2. shortsshortsshorts

    WHAT? OBAMA WON?
    HE ISN’T EVEN ELIGIBLE TO BE PREZDINT!!1!@
    * NO BIRTH CERTIFICATE
    * NO CLIENT SCHEDULE RELEASED
    * NO HARVARD REPORT CARD THINGIES
    * NO AUTHENTICITICATION OF CITZENSHIT
    * NO FANSIE BLING
    * NO WHITENESS
    * NO NO NO NO NO NONNON ONON ON ONOON OONONN ONON ON !@#!!!!((*!!!!!)!@#&!!!@!

  3. NoWireHangers

    My time capsule will contain:
    - 1 Walnut
    - Unicorn Powder (from 1 unicorn horn)
    - Bouffant/buffoon wig
    - Plunger
    - 1 Burkah
    - 1 JC Penney Pantsuit in bitter blue
    - 1 case “Senator Beer”
    - 3 Joe Biden hair plugs
    - Tears of Jim Newell
    - 1 “fist bump” commemorative button

  4. Ted bin Perino

    Even the animal kingdom was filled with joy and love. My Burmese python gave my new kitten the sweetest hug!

  5. JadedDIssonance

    I got about halfway down the celebrations page before tearing up.

    Drag queens singing the national anthem?

  6. FreshCliches

    In these days of the intertubz, content is king. Particularly if you aggregate others into your own site.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    It doesn’t include an email from David Plouffe asking for money? Oh, yeah — ’cause those’ll be going on forever!

  8. TGY

    [re=192249]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Don’t they have to PURGE THE DATABASE BY FIRE when Barry actually gets inaugurated? I read something similar to that. Then they have to solicit our emails all over again and we’ll probably be dumb enough to sign back up.

  9. Toomush Infermashun

    I dunno, I voted for the guy, and he really hasn’t done much so far – should I be looking for some new saviour, or just keep drinking….? I do wish he’d hurry up…

  10. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=192262]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: Ya rearry. Iz bin liek a munth and eie downt C n.e. jainj yet.

  11. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=192278]monty[/re]: I have waited and waited for AngryBlakGuy’s comment to appear, but to no avail. What of that?

  12. Borat

    I hope they are not planning on putting that baby in the time capsule.

    On the other hand, maybe its better to hibernate for a couple years and come out when the giant cockroaches have taken over. It would give you a competitive advantage.

  13. finallyhappy

    [re=192227]NoWireHangers[/re]: I actually have the campaign button of the fist bump that I wear on my coat. Now if you ever see me, you will know who I really am since I have not seen anyone else with this button. I wear it so other terrorists can recognize me as one of them.

  14. NoWireHangers

    [re=192330]finallyhappy[/re]: That button was so totally sold out when I tried to order it, as was the fridge magnet. I’m going to need your button for my capsule. Fork it over! Spread the wealth!

  15. NoWireHangers

    [re=192274]Cape Clod[/re]: Sadly, Truck Nutz didn’t play much of a role in this election. They’re more of a Wonkette meme and will be saved for the Wonkette capsule. Said capsule will include Truck Nutz, whore diamonds, Maf54, Jim Newell’s tears, a lock of Ken’s beard, Sara’s glasses, some other stuff I can’t think of right now, and shortsshortsshorts.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    [re=192303]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Something weird’s going on. FinallyHappy’s comment to which NoWireHangers replied isn’t here either.

  17. Borat

    From the ‘About Us’ section of the Powerline website

    “Paul supports Everton FC of the English Premier Soccer League, as well as the Washington Redskins, the Washington Wizards, and the University of Maryland basketball team.”

    The English Premier SOCCER Leauge? What the hell is this guy talking about? I immediately get the impression he is one of those guys who tries to act impressive to his fellow ‘mericans because he has a connection to Ye Olde Worlde (e.g., a couple Palin length stopovers somewhere). And trying to look like he really knows what’s going on by supporting a more obscure team.

    I could go on and on about this Paul Fussell like characteristic, but I’d just get silly.

  18. answerbird

    [re=192227]NoWireHangers[/re]: You need to add Trig Palin in the capsule. I would even add the Palin Turkey even though the event happened after election day. I would add Michelle Bachman for good measure too.

  19. zetetic

    These time capsules are a great idea. Decades from now, as our doomed progeny wander through a desolate landscape, these metal boxes will have heaved up from the tortured soil, and the shards torn therefrom will make valuable trade goods and, when sharpened to a point, weapons for further reducing the decimated population.

    One can never plan too far in advance, I always say.

  20. Hooray For Anything

    Why are we still being happy about all of this? I thought we were supposed to be upset with him because he didn’t make Dennis Kucinich the Secretary of State, personally bought everyone’s foreclosed home back, made Detroit super profitable because of his proposal to build solar powered hydrocars, and made citizen’s arrests on the entire Bush administration?

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