George W. Bush did indeed buy a house for himself and his wife Laura and his two rat dogs as well! It is in the rich area of Dallas, which is probably a suburb! Look!

It cost our president a cool $2.07 million (adjustable-rate mortgage/interest-only payments for four years/a steal!) (Just kidding he likely paid for the whole thing upfront with golden diamonds.) It’s an enormous one, sure, but pathetic & gay when compared to the next house over, which is the actual Palace of Versailles. Still, congrats George! Hope you enjoy this one as much as you do your other huge property, which is only two hours away.

[The Smoking Gun]

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  1. No, no. The 8,501 square foot mansion is for Laura and her new Swedish masseuse boyfriend, Lars. The 850 sf maid’s quarters is where Georgie is getting banished. And no pool privileges either!

  2. Even rich-person Texas is so dry and dead. If I wanted to live in an oil soaked desert with people who loathe civil rights, I’d live in Saudi Arabia with Bush’s boyfriend. At least I could have multiple wives.

  3. Remember when the wingnuts went into a mass wave of hypertension induced fainting spells because the NYT printed pictures of Rumsfeld and Cheney abodes? You know, CUZ THE TERRORISTS WOULD KNOW WHere THEY LIVE!

  4. Hey, that’s 3 times the price of my innercity hovel. And I even get crack head hookers lying in my front door! And its only going to get worse with our new hobo nation.

    It really amazes me that houses are so big can be so ‘cheap’

  5. Doesn’t George know that wherever he decides to land, there will be a Cindy Sheehan and her horde of bearded muskrats there to avert his desires?

  6. When will you stop harassing this poor man? You hounded him out of office for accidently getting into a war he was not prepared for. Now you spy on his modest retirement home. You are animals.

  7. Did Bushie buy this with his bail out monies? This is why Paulson doesn’t want any oversight. Paulson and Bush will buy several horse buttseck dens, butt plugs and truck nutz with all teh tax payers hard earn monies!

  8. Two million?!?!? Laura said they had to be careful of their xmas budget for a two million dollar home. Hell, she is going to get more than that for her book advance since all of America is breathlessly awaiting to learn what sort of drug cocktail she’s been on for the past eight years.

  9. Here’s hoping the shithole has termites, cockroaches, fireants, rats, radon, hair lice and bedticks, and that it’s haunted by gunned-down rappers.

  10. More importantly, what’s the precise location of the panic room so the federal marshals know where they need to go in order to serve the warrants for war crimes?

  11. I’m picturing Bush becoming like the oil man at the end of “there will be blood”. he’ll stagger around hunched over shaking his fist at the sky.

  12. I’m sorry, it just makes no sense that this man would have a “house” in “Dallas” with a “roof” and a “driveway” and “outbuildings” and “a life in suburbia” after he leaves office. This is an illusion, a Karl Rove Disneyland thing. I think the house is merely a one-dimensional decoy that hides a tunnel running south to Paraguay. That’s a Bush post-presidency I can believe in.

  13. [re=191541]robanybody[/re]: i agree….pure fantasy….i’ve said for a long time that the only place for Bush is the Green Zone in Baghdad….it’s the only place where there are enough ‘private contractors’ to provide the needed security…

  14. [re=191530]polpo[/re]: A FIVE DIGIT HOUSE NUMBER! omg that’s an automatic disqualification in my book. Anything above four digits is uncouth. The horrors never end do they.

  15. Re: dryness\deadness. The pictures were taken in the fall…. haters. It’s a very nice part of Dallas. I’m just a few blocks west. I’m sooo gonna invite him over for my St Patrick’s Day party next year!

  16. [re=191530]polpo[/re]: Daria? Isn’t that the phonetic spelling of “diarrhea” in Texan?

    Also, I assume that the number, 10102, works well for people who can’t count to three.

  17. [re=191545]anabellum[/re]: Ha! Bush forced to go Green. It’s perfect. His own private hell, with khaki-clad servants who hate him more and more with each passing week, and sporadic rocket attacks. Now that’s karma I can believe in.

  18. [re=191484]Mustang[/re]: Yes, and he wouldn’t have accidentally gotten into the war he was not prepared for if he’d been told that the reasons for it were all lies. The man deserves some peace.

  19. [re=191510]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Asbestos. Dry rot. UFFI. Lead paint. Aluminum wiring. Weeping field that flows towards the finished basement. Poorly documented toxic waste dump. Paved-over cemetery with some really pissed-off occupants. Balustrades spaced just wide enough to get his head through but not back out again.

  20. Ha-hah! Stupid modern subdivision dump! No better than his Dad’s legal residence, a frickin’ HOTEL ROOM. Such fuckin losers. (Full disclosure, my own apartment is smaller than many boats, but still I’d prefert to this cul-de-crap.

  21. The house that is next to it, which is an actual portal to Hades, belongs to Tom Hicks, owner of the Dallas Stars/Texas Rangers. He is probably only a few notches below Bushie in sheer douche-baggery. I’m sure they will enjoy some great times while bbq-ing babies over coals pulled straight out of hell, or swapping stories over the back fence about crushing the hopes and dreams of mankind. Or maybe just how the whole wife-swapping thing is going to work.

  22. It’s 8.6 miles from Bush’s new house to the spot where JFK was killed. Bush was first elected in 2000; Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. 2000-1963 equals 37. Divide that by 8.6 and you get 4.3023255813953488372093023255814. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

  23. That room to the west will be my “thinkin and writtin” room.

    The room to the south east will be my bike ridin room. No fucking way I’m going outside while I’m in Dallas.

    Oh, that big room in Crawford, thats Laura’s.

  24. Why does that “Dallas” Photo remind me of Central America?
    Could it really be Paraguay?
    The USA would be well rid of that particular asshole, I think.

  25. [re=191682]nurple[/re]: Daddy does have an actual house in Houston and it’s a damn sight better than this POS. I mean, even from the sky it looks like a dump. Laura’s gonna have to get all the closet cases formerly of the administration over to do a LOT of decorating.

  26. We owe Dallas! Thank you Dallas, and could we have the money it takes to heat/cool that shit hole for a year? We could use it for 4 years of mortgage payments.

  27. otisfatboy: the money to heat and cool it? Well the money to cool it would be a lot, but we don’t need to spend much money on heating bills in Dallas. It’s….Dallas.

    And I’m sure glad someone else pointed out above that the area looks dry and dessicated because it was taken in fall or winter and we have those things called deciduous trees here. They lose their leaves and all. And our Bermuda grass dies back twice a year–in the summer, when it’s too blazing hot and dry to keep it green and late in the winter. (It always comes back.) I’m guessing that pic was taken late in the winter because of the leafless trees (the ones with leaves are probably Live Oaks, Yaupon Hollies, and other evergreens).

    It’s not very impressive, I’ll tell ya that. Anyone thinking they can drive by it–it’s WAY up a long driveway off Walnut Hill. That’s one of those areas where my daughter and I go “huh, wonder where THAT gated driveway leads to?”

  28. methinks the house would make a good setting for a contemporary redo of A Christmas Carol, with shrub as Scrooge, Cheney’s ghost as Marley/the hades-bound guide, and a foreclosed-upon Joe the Plumber as Cratchit. Jeb will play the prodigal nephew.

  29. is reporting that the house next door, which is slightly smaller, just went to contract as well. Home for the secret service perhaps?

    Cuban lives around the corner. For now.

  30. Great actual location, 32 degrees 53′ 03.77″N 96 degrees 48′ 43.56″W the drive is only 47 yards long and the best door to door (previous residence)1,180.04 miles which is about 10,000 miles to few

  31. Now tell the truth. How many of you have been playing “missile strike” with your cursor over the aerial photo of Bush’s new digs? I know I have!

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