Wonkette
Hey if any of you far-away losers want to visit Washington D.C. on “vacation” soon, to teach your brat kids about America, now’s the grandest time of all! Because thanks to your $621 million in appropriated taxpayer funds — yes that’s right, 6, 2, and 1, glued together, a million of them, in dollars — a fancy new UNDERGROUND VISITOR CENTER at the U.S. Capitol finally opened on Tuesday. It is underground so you don’t get too cold or hot — depending on the season! — as your fat ass waits in line for a tour. One Senator, the very conservative Jim DeMint of South Carolina, despises this new visitor center — but not because of its completely inappropriate cost, of course! No, he’s just concerned that the center’s exhibits don’t praise God quite enough, and that the exhibits themselves are “left-leaning,” which is common D.C. slang for “gay.”
DeMint criticized the center after its architect “ignored his request to include the phrase ‘In God We Trust’ and the Pledge of Allegiance.” Poor Jim DeMint! Instead of giving up on this tiny pathetic matter and returning to work on such pressing events as the collapsing foundation of capitalism, DeMint decided that he would release the stupidest four-paragraph protest statement in Congressional history. We shall excerpt paragraph #2:
The current [Capitol Visitor Center] displays are left-leaning and in some cases distort our true history. Exhibits portray the federal government as the fulfillment of human ambition and the answer to all of society’s problems. This is a clear departure from acknowledging that Americans’ rights ‘are endowed by their Creator’ and stem from ‘a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence.’ Instead, the CVC’s most prominent display proclaims faith not in God, but in government. Visitors will enter reading a large engraving that states, ‘We have built no temple but the Capitol. We consult no common oracle but the Constitution.’ This is an intentional misrepresentation of our nation’s real history, and an offensive refusal to honor America’s God-given blessings.
Why is it that when people like Jim DeMint walk into any building at all, they expect it to be a church? Perhaps this new money bonfire underground tunnel stresses the importance of government institutions more than usual because it’s THE ENTRANCE TO THE MOST FAMOUS GOVERNMENT INSTITUTION. Meh, just throw DeMint a stained glass window of Jesus screwing Mary Magdalene or something.
DeMint: Capitol Visitor Center Fails to Honor Faith [The Hill]
You know, I bet this kind of thing would have worked wonders for his career before the country collapsed. Hopefully now his constituents will merely pelt him with the empty cat food cans from their weekly meal.
The stupidest? Hmmm, I don’t know. The freedom fries resolution came close to reaching stupid perfection.
Eh, if this keeps the crazy religious right types (eh-hem, those who bought those life size Sarah Palin posters for non- sexual/ ironic reasons) out of the Capitol, more power to him.
It is impossible to think of an appropriately snarky retort.
When I drink DeWine at work, I need DeMint before my meetings.
Remember when you just used to be able to walk into the Capitol, through the front doors, because, you know, it belonged to you? I’m so happy they spent millions to turn it into a hermetically sealed Disney ride.
If he’s upset now, just wait until he runs into the Republicans in the bathroom.
The Visitor Center also distorts American history by not including a Confederate flag. I’m surprised DeMint didn’t bring that up.
That’s barely half a billion dollars, Jim deUrinalMint.
Also, left leaning or right leaning depends on which way your facing, don’t it.
The capital exhibit is also offensive to DeMint’s sensibilities because it suggests that the African slaves who built the Capital were forced to do so AGAINST THEIR WILL - not that traders asked them politely to leave Africa and sign a contract to come to America as servants knowing it was still 100 times better than savage Africa, they could have Christianity and the white people would teach them how to use things like wheels and fire, and that their great great great grandchildren would benefit greatly from our affirmative action programs.
“…federal government as the fulfillment of human ambition and the answer to all of society’s problems.”
Well after 8 years of George Bush we all know that statement isn’t true.
He’s just pissy the adolescent boy tour guides are actually just regular ol’ growed up ladies.
“Exhibits portray the federal government as the fulfillment of human ambition and the answer to all of society’s problems.”
Dear Poor Jim DeMint: Get the fuck out of guberment and go back to blowing boy scouts in the toilet. Why the hell do Republicans run for office anyhow? They hate government so why not stay away? Must be some sort of masochist, self-hate shit. Take est! California did. Look how cool they are.
Oh so God wants a bailout now? JEEBUS why wont you lend your father some money?
Too bad DeMint couldn’t have fallen into the wet concrete, just before a large cornerstone was placed in it, when the center was being built. He and Jimmy Hoffa could rest in peace for eternity, part of great edifices.
What’s up with all these below-grade “visitor centers” anyway? They even want to build one for the Vietnam memorial, which is more or less underground already.
And what a dickhead this DeMento guy is: “You cannot accurately tell the history of America or its Capitol by ignoring the religious heritage of our Founders…” Oh yeah, let’s talk about Thomas Paine’s great religious faith, or Jefferson’s.
May all you Jeebus-loving douchebags please crawl back under your rocks and remember the First Amendment, written by “Deist” (polite euphemism for “atheist”) Thomas Jefferson. He didn’t say “Creator” by accident.
There, I feel better now.
NewSpence: hey, that’s the Amurrican Way! Why experience the real thing when you can experience a plasticized facsimile!
Hey, DeMint — whenever you open your yap and complain something isn’t Jesusy enough, atheists like me want to raise the pirate flag and start taking heads.
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm48/SayItWithWookies/?action=view¤t=jesusisdead.jpg
God to DeMint: “Leave me out of this.”
This is an outrage! How dare we build a visitors center in Washington D.C. and try to teach the troglodyte masses about how their government works. This money should have been spent on trying to convince teenagers to stop fucking each other.
SayItWithWookies: You know, that is so true. I am a keep-to-myself-about-it atheist (no one’s business, why shove it at people, I want to be respectful of others’ beliefs), but when confronted with these asswipes who want religion in EVERYTHING and every aspect of government, I get ornery. Keep your religion off my laws, dicks.
Well, God does seem to be pretty petty so it’s probably best that we sacrifice a goat or a couple of virgins or something before he gets all Old Testament on our asses.
For virgins, I suggest the editors of Red State and Bill Kristol.
Left-leaning visitor center? I hope they have an abortion clinic onsight.
Doglessliberal: That’s why I was in favor of that US history theme park some nut job wanted to build in Northern Virginia. Let the tourists go to facsimile Washington, D.C. Build a little Fax Metro for it, too. They can stand on the left side of the escalators and everything at Fax DC. Hell, even put plastic cherry trees out there so people will go see them instead of clogging the mall with cars every April.
dano: actually, my favorite bit about this center is that it was more about keeping tourists cool in a/c and giving them someplace to pee than anything else. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/02/AR2008120202941.html
If this leads James Dobson and the other freaks to call for a boycott of the Center, then folks, WE HAVE WON!!!
The Cold Sea: yeah, but unfortunately, they were going to dig up what had been part of the Battle of Manassas/Bull Run to build it, no? If they want to tear up a WalMart to build fake history, be my guest….
“Perhaps this new money bonfire underground tunnel stresses the importance of government institutions more than usual because it’s THE ENTRANCE TO THE MOST FAMOUS GOVERNMENT INSTITUTION. Meh, just throw DeMint a stained glass window of Jesus screwing Mary Magdalene or something.”
THE DA VINCI CODE 2: ELECTRIC BUGALOO!!
GDTRFB: WIN
230+ years later, they still refuse to accept the separation of church and state. If you want Jeebus, go to church!
“Left leaning visitor’s center”
Is he upset that the contractor’s didn’t use a level, or is it some political thing?
What part of “Separation of Church and State” doesn’t Minty get? Jeebus!
We have built no temple but the Capitol. We consult no common oracle but the Constitution.
Harrumph. Sounds like something Osama bin gay Marxist Laden would say (actual quote is from this guy)
Doglessliberal: When the Jeebus-worshippers are trying to turn this country into a theocracy at every opportunity, maybe it’s necessary to abandon the idea of “respect” for others’ faiths. Because if you look at ‘em, there isn’t one “faith” on earth that hasn’t based itself on subjugating women and sucking up to the powerful. (Maybe Buddhism gets a conditional pass on this, but its adherents will tell you it’s a philosophy, not a religion.)
Servo: Flying Fingers of Fate!
“a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence”
Silly me, I thought we as Americans relied firmly instead on the protection of An Assload of Nuclear Missiles. Why does DeMint hate our troops?
Anyway, when can we get a posting on the pending Canadian civil war? I want to see a betting pool on whether Quebec or Alberta will get their hands on some nukes first.
Oh, and again, what the fuck is wrong with Republicans? Goddamn you all…
Jim, not to be on copy-editing patrol or anything, but I think you left out the word “through” in the last sentence, immediately following “DeMint.”
If we’re lucky, DeMint will start a crusade to build an alternative D.C. Visitor Center in the tradition of the Creation Museum in Kentucky. A Right-leaning center devoted to bringing their vast catalogue of conspiracy theories to life.
PrairiePossum: and a gay wedding chapel
I don’t need to visit DC because I read the Family Circus’ annual pilgrimages.
Wonkette should copyright Left Leaning Offense to God..
its perfect for the masthead, much better than The DC Gossip…
rambone: How could you forget Joe Lieberman from your list of virgins to sacrifice?
V572625694: I’d argue that the Deists were more of agnostics than anything else. Something created the universe and didn’t interfere with it after that. But I agree that a copy of the Jefferson bible with all the miracles taken out should be displayed in many a public building as a reminder that the founding fathers weren’t religious wackjobs.
I can sum my reaction to Demint in one word:
FABulous!
PUT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS ON ALL CURRENCY AND HAVE IT BACKED BY GOLD!!1!11111!!1!
Servo: freakishlystrong: well, given that many states have passed laws and amendments, and the US has a Fed law limiting marriage to one man and one woman, clearly because of religious “values”, we are well past separation. It is a matter of holding it back from further encroachment at this point.
This is interesting. Can something lean if it’s underground? Don’t you have to have what the art-yakkers call “negative space” to have the perception of a lean? Esse est percipi anyone? If a tree falls in the forest does it squash a Gamecock hillbilly?
Sen. DeMint is just pissed off because the tourists will no longer have that waited-in-the-sun-for-hours smell.
Left-leaning was necessary to counterbalance the right-leaning edifice:
http://media-2.web.britannica.com/eb-media/88/80588-004-0B5DCB41.jpg
P.T.T.: Good point. If those load-bearing walls are leaning in any direction, then I want no part of it.
Ha. Anyone want to place bets on how fast we find this perv in an airport bathroom wackin off to pictures of donkeys?
Seriously $621m. For a visitor’s center. In DC. $2 per person in the US. And people complain about some bridges to nowhere? You can seed at least 62 alternative energy startups for that.
Anonymous Office Zombie: I can see it now, there will be things like
-a diaroma of us winning WWII with Jesus leading the troops through Berlin
-A picture of George Washington accepting the surrender of the British Troops with Jesus at his side
-A reference to how we lost Vietnam because a bunch of godless hippies took drugs, listened to rock n’ roll music, had lotsa sex, and worshipped the Beatles
-Jesus actually writing the Constitution
SayItWithWookies; “Ken Layne likes bighorn sheep.” HAHAHA!!!
Is that you in the last pic? You pretty.
Atheists Rule
The Cold Sea: Precisely. I was pondering this very thing the other day. When we elect a republican, it’s like hiring someone to work in your firm who says at the interview, “I hate this company. I think it’s worthless, and I will do everything in my power to dismantle it.”
I would make a joke about Jim DeMint’s middle name being “Creme”, but I would get banned, and rightfully so.
But the gay exhibits are the best part.
I suppose if you put a mural of the Red Sea parting that allowed the Pilgrims to come America, DeMint wouldn’t have problem with it. Such is the depth of his grasp of both history and religion.
What an asshat. Someone should sneak in a copy of Andres Serrano’s “Piss Christ” into the visitors center and place it prominently on the wall or, better yet, on Demint’s senate office door.
@NakedBuns
I always thought it was “Suck”
Theodorick Of York: You know I do kind of feel like it’s leaning to the left. Somebody get a ball bearing, let’s check this out.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: I think his middle name is Warren.
twowheeljunkie: I bear no resemblance to the pop-collared X dealer. I’m not saying whether I look like the baby hedgehog or not.
Doglessliberal: and keep religion off my dicks, lawd.
He doesn’t tell you that it doubles as Congressional bomb shelter for when Osama finds more nut cases that know how to fly.
Maybe he should concentrate on South Carolinian constituent services, like delivering running water and belts made of something other than extension cords to the beleaguered populace.
Dear DeMint,
Just grow a white beard and put on an Ayatollah robe so I don’t have to explain you to my friends.
sati demise: Amen
Hooray For Anything:
The possibilities are endless.
- An animatronic Bill and Hillz exibit with them murdering Vince Foster while the devil stands behind them laughing.
- A display with NoBama Hussein shaking hands with Bill Ayers and Osama bin Ladin.
- A chapel/shrine where one can bow down before a statue of Ronald Regan.
- An interactive exhibit where kids can shrink the government down and drown it in a bathtub.
Hooray For Anything: That second picture needs to be of the British surrender after Washington’s stunning victory in New York.
Hey! Sen. DeMitt! Shut the fuck up and get back to work!
Doglessliberal: It depends on my various mood swings. Sometimes I’m quiet about it, sometimes not. The churchy folks who knock on my door get “No thanks, I’m an atheist,” and one dude was actually shocked because he’d never met one before. Another time I was talking to a friend of mine who said she was “between religions,” and I said “Would you mind if I put in a good word for atheism?” But then at work I hardly get into religious topics, even if I get provoked on occasion.
Anonymous Office Zombie: Hooray For Anything: Thank you both for that. Thank you oh so very much.
Anonymous Office Zombie: Don’t forget the animatronic Hussein Baraka being born in a madrassa cave somewhere in the darkest heart of Kenyan Muslamistan.
Jim DeMint’s name is an affront to God. Seriously, Jim DeMint is the gayest name this side of Saxby Chambliss and the “De” part sounds suspiciously French. He’s probably bitching about the Capitol Visitors Center to hide the fact he gay married Larry Craig in San Francisco.
it-it- the f - it -flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breath…
Well, I don’t think this center is gay enough. It’s way too straight. So, why don’t we leave it the same, and develop some kind of sale-leaseback arrangement with the Chinese. If they are willing to value it at $621m, that’s good enough for me. If its any less, send this Jeebus guy to prison
“His mother operated a dance studio … Prior to entering politics, DeMint worked in the field of market research. In 1983, he founded his own research firm, the DeMint Group. He was president of this corporation until 1998 … DeMint stirred controversy during debates with Tenenbaum when he stated his belief that openly gay people should not be allowed to teach in public schools. When questioned by reporters, DeMint also stated that single mothers who live with their boyfriends should similarly be excluded from being educators … In an interview on NPR’s Diane Rehm Show on January 31, 2008, he cited the prevalence of certain diseases among homosexuals as his reason for opposing gay marriage.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_DeMint
SayItWithWookies: What would you say if I told you I don’t believe in Wookies?
It follows logically from the Choate quote that the churches should be nationalized or at least taxed out of existence.
I’m with Jim DeMint on this one: for 621 million, they could have at least found a builder with a level, even if it is underground….
snideinplainsight: Hey, go to town. I don’t believe in any fictional characters, if that wasn’t already obvious.
“We have built no temple but the Capitol. We consult no common oracle but the Constitution.” Jesus Tap Dancing Christ - they might just as well have said “We have no salad but Caesar”. There’s opportunity for mockery all over this story. DeMint is DeCunt who deserves it the most most, however.
It doesn’t say “Ronald Reagan” anywhere on it either.
Obviously, a left leaning edifice.
Jeez yeah..he bitches about this stupid, ugly project for God. Um, ok. Give it up for the south again, asshats. I want my fucking money back, and DON’T touch me while i’m peeing…
snideinplainsight: Dude. Always let the Wookie win.
dijetlo: In celebration of the gay-leaning orifice.
DeDork. Oh noess! I just read about his crazy anti-gay rantings…typical. Nuttin’ else to do in the south but lynch people and rip-off poor people.
Dementos is just another bible thumper that needs to be thumped over the head with his bible! Methinks this Dementos has stinky breathe!
left-leaning indeed! there aren’t any windows so it is obviously a nightclub for teh gayz.
Anonymous Office Zombie: There will also be the explanation of how 9/11 was all because of the gays and how God made George W President so he could help convert the muslim’s to Christianity. It also goes without saying that the body of Reagan will be dug out of his grave where he’ll be embalmed and be put in a glass case so everybody can walk by and pay homage.
On a serious note, I would encourage my fellow godless sodomites of Wonkette to contribute to the Freedom From Religion Foundation (http://www.ffrf.org/) And it’s tax deductible! Yay for Jesus butsecks!
Deep: also Americans United, featuring the Rev. Barry Lynn, with the P-Funk Horns.
p-Sludge ofTheElves: So what you are saying is that Jim DeMint has an insatiable lust for gay man penis.
I bet when you milk him, you don’t get Creme DeMint.
Oh goodness. That “natural rights” shit is so superstitious and ridiculous that a pygmy witch doctor wouldn’t believe in it. Yet somehow many many typical Truck Nutz-buying Cracker-Americans buy into like it’s a real philosophy.
Woodwards Friend: I am pretty sure he has a strong lust for heterosexual penis as well.
My boss, a state legislator, got the following in her email today:
(these words were under some horrible xmas tree picture)
This, is a Christmas tree.
It is not a Hanukkah bush,
it is not an Allah plant,
it is not a Holiday hedge.
It is a Christmas tree.
Say it… CHRISTmas, CHRISTmas, CHRISTmas
Yes, Christmas
celebrating the
Birth of Jesus Christ!!!
Take a stand and pass this on !!
Man o man…these Christians really must be a paranoid lot…jeez…I was considering writing the sequel, “This is not an Equinox Egg!!!!”…and BTW, WTF is an Allah Plant???
is it open 24 hrs so we’ve got somewhere to go when they steal our cardboard boxes?
glamourdammerung: If a penis enters Jim DeMint’s mouth can it really be considered straight anymore? It’s a question without answer.
Jim “Cream” DeMint likes his alphabet soup with a side of scripture, thank you. It’s a revelation every time!
yuck yuck yuck
Jim-Boy !! That left-leaning display is in the left-leaning Capitol to which we left-leaning voters just elected a whole bunch of left-leaning people to run a left-leaning gummint. So, that’s about where we want things. Perhaps your should resign in protest.
Perhaps a nice confederate flag would make Mr. DeMint feel more at home.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
In 1833 Rufus Choate was the biggest commie anyone had ever seen in Massachusettes at that time. This is why they sent him to DC, of course.
He should really change his name to Jim Of Mint. That spanish name is an outrage! If English was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for Jim.
jagorev: Thanks for that. This site is truly educational, at times.
I nominate this second most idiotic and wasteful thing to be concerned about by someone in Congress. Arlen Specter’s super weird and inappropriate obsession with SpyGate being number one. I wonder if the Patriots caught him blowing a 15-year old in the background of one of their cheating tapes. Hmmm?
Jesus called. He wants his religion back.
TGY: You Creme DeCunt.
I bet Larry Craig would love to cream De Mint (without DeLay)
I mean you get Creme DeCunt, sorry. Wasn’t name-calling you - just Jim.
mookworthjwilson: “Equinox Egg.” Ha! You’ve just named my next band. We’ll do a bunch of Styx covers.
He’s from South Carolina.
In South Carolinian wing-nut-ese, James DeMint is a liberal.
Meh, just throw DeMint a stained glass window of Jesus screwing Mary Magdalene or something.
Verb, proper noun (surname), preposition “a stained glass fenestra“…
mookworthjwilson: An Allah plant? Qat, Q.E.D.
Oh, come on, don’t you all get it? He’s setting himself to be on the short list for Sarah Palin’s VP slot in 2012!
Would it me more right leaning if that is where we installed the Sen. Larry Craig memorial bathrooms?
With deMints in the urinal where they belong?
It should be noted that the existence of the objectionable quote predates 1956 the adoption of the Pledge of Allegiance and “In God We Trust” as the national motto by over a century. In other words, Mr. DeMint’s objections on historical grounds are questionable.
I AM a constituent of this moran. Since the election, these reptards have run amok. Our idiot (Republican) governor has decided to warn Hopey against growinging a “large” government. Well, the weather’s usually pretty nice here…and the place is lousy with golf courses and blue lakes and shit.
I was so worried about Wonkette and post-election letdown, but I guess them guys what’s loves them some Jesus will keep Miss W rolling right along.
The whole thing’s really written by that cute li’l gal with the big eyes and glasses, right?