DAILY BRIEFING  8:49 am December 4, 2008

Who Will Bail Out The Forged Birth Certificate Industry?

by Sara K. Smith

  • The bombs used in last week’s attacks in Mumbai sat undiscovered in bags in a pile of luggage for a week in the city’s main train station. Indian security authorities make the Bush Administration look competent. [Guardian]
  • Holy wow, rates for 30-year fixed mortgages might go down to 4.5 percent. [San Jose Mercury News]
  • Central banks in Europe and overseas are all cutting their rates hugely. [Reuters]
  • The UAW said they would make “concessions” regarding employment security and retiree benefits for members in order to help with the Big Three bailout, but voter opposition to any kind of government rescue of Detroit is growing. [New York Times]
  • Vladimir Putin’s widespread popularity in Russia is suffering now that all the oil barons are going broke. [Bloomberg]
  • Lawsuits have been filed in Hawaii, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio, California, Georgia and Mississippi alleging that Barack Obama may not have been born in the United States. [Honolulu Advertiser]
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Hola wonkerados.

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dano December 4, 2008 at 8:56 am

Not only was Obama not born in the U.S. but the spell check feature in my Firefox browser underlines his name every time I type it! What’s up with that?!!?

kernelPanic December 4, 2008 at 8:57 am

I’ve already posted about how awesome the comment forum is over at http://www.obamacrimes.com and now I have a plea for DC area wonkette folks.

The birth certificate wingnuts are holding a rally on Friday – the website is http://www.freedommarch.org/

Can someone go to the “rally” and take some pictures? There are people who seriously believe that thousands will attend. My guess is less than 100 and more likely about 20 or 30 people.

Please go and take pictures, it will be more awesome than the paultard march!

Servo December 4, 2008 at 9:05 am

Since foreigners are much smarter, more selfless, and more physically fit than most Merikans, I really don’t see any problem.

dotdotdotdotdot December 4, 2008 at 9:06 am

HA HA Putin, enjoy your time in the gulag.

Texan Bulldoggette December 4, 2008 at 9:06 am

[re=190757]dano[/re]: Yep, I noticed that, too. Note that ‘McCain’ doesn’t need spellcheck…I sense a conspiracy.

ManchuCandidate December 4, 2008 at 9:12 am

Will there be more “passport” “experts”?

Compared to these fucktards, the Paultards were a mob of enlightened “gold standard” spouting philosophers.

I would not be surprised to find out that these geniuzes also believe that:
a) The Moon Landing was faked because they saw the show on Faux.
b) Kix Cereal is part of the NWO/UN takeover of US America
c) The cabal of Jews and Freemasons had something to do with Barry’s rise to power.
d) The X-Files was REAL!
e) All of the above

ladymacbeth December 4, 2008 at 9:12 am

[re=190759]kernelPanic[/re]: so it looks like most of the obama crimes are related to his birth certificate?


these are BORING crimes. i would like some torture please. or drunk driving. or bathroom groping. or treason.

or hookers! obama and hookers would be good crimes.

Serolf Divad December 4, 2008 at 9:13 am


Whenever I use the pronoun “he” or “him” to refer to Obama the Firefox grammar checker says it should be capitalized. What’s up with that?

lazyb December 4, 2008 at 9:16 am

Few things please me more than pissed off, hysterical, defeated wingnuts. The other day I dropped my kid off at his school and saw in the parking lot a car with the following bumper stickers: ‘it’s a child, not a choice’, ‘Obama is not my President’, and ‘America–now a Socialist State.’ I wanted to wait for the car owner to come out just to laugh at them.

bitchincamaro December 4, 2008 at 9:17 am

What with all the retro-commie attitude adopted by Putin during his long reign, you’ think he might have considered keeping the “Five Year Plan” concept of his former comrades. Instead, he spent like a drunken sailor and now must suffer. Like the rest of us. F-U, Pooty!

Terry December 4, 2008 at 9:17 am

“Lawsuits have been filed in Hawaii, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio, California, Georgia and Mississippi alleging that Barack Obama may not have been born in the United States.”

These people would have a lot less time to file lawsuits if they actually went out and got jobs.

Good Lord, I sound like my father. Good thing he’s a smart old guy and a big old liberal.

Servo December 4, 2008 at 9:17 am

The only concession that’s synonymous with the UAW is a concession stand. Snausages.

sailingthestyx December 4, 2008 at 9:18 am

[re=190759]kernelPanic[/re]: some serious wingnuttery taking place at those sites…nice to have them all in one place so we won’t have to commit so many euros to keep track of them (or whatever currency is popular at the moment)

ella December 4, 2008 at 9:19 am

And if someone does go take pictures, please ask at least one of those nutjobs if they’ve seen W’s birth certificate or even questioned his citizenship. It could be fun to hear what they come up with to say, “Well, hell no. He’s white like me and not a muslin.”

sham69 December 4, 2008 at 9:22 am

Man, Uncle Tom Keyes has really sold his soul. It’s really pretty sad.

mattbolt December 4, 2008 at 9:24 am

[re=190766]Serolf Divad[/re]: On the AOL browser, when you type the words Barack Obama, it automatically switches the words into a randomly-generated string of racially-charged epithets, negative adjectives and variations on his original name. It’s pretty handy, it takes all the work out of AOL commenting when the computer can pop out a winning nickname like AL-BARAQ HALF-BREED “HUSSEIN” NOBAMA BIN LADEN for you!

wheelie December 4, 2008 at 9:27 am

Did you notice that Obama’s ‘birth cert’ had no fold marks? The wingnuts did. IT WAS NOT FOLDED, people.

Does his family not know how to bend a piece of paper? Is this why it took him about 2 hours to vote on election day?

Also, why are there NO FOLD MARKS on Elvis Presley’s birth cert either? I noticed this.

a) Elvis and Barack are both involved in the same shadowy cabal; and
b) Elvis Hussein Presley was most likely from Indonesia.

Ya read it here first.

charlesdegoal December 4, 2008 at 9:27 am

So what we are in fact asked to do is to believe assurances given by one “Chiyome Fukino” that the certificate is good. Maybe…

snideinplainsight December 4, 2008 at 9:30 am

No one else’s seen my birth certificate either – that’s why I’m snide in plain sight!

bitchincamaro December 4, 2008 at 9:31 am

[re=190766]Serolf Divad[/re]: Comports with that whole “born in a manger in Bethlehem, PA” meme.

finallyhappy December 4, 2008 at 9:31 am

At some vendor stands in downtown DC, there are 11 X 14 photo posters of Obama superimposed over his birth certificate.

“The cabal of Jews and Freemasons had something to do with Barry’s rise to power.” correction- Freemasons were not involved- it was just us Jews- for the Jew obsessives here.

Delicious December 4, 2008 at 9:34 am

Wake up, people!

Since Obama was elected, the “new” police have come to my house and burned my U.S. American flag, my son’s preschool has been converted into a madrassa, my best buddy has been gay-married (although I had my suspicions beforehand), and just yesterday a large black man urinated in my Wheaties. Oh wait, that was from craigslist. Nevermind.

MysteriousTraveller December 4, 2008 at 9:34 am

Clarence Thomas decided to bring this ridiculous birth certificate thing to the Supreme Court.

Borat December 4, 2008 at 9:40 am

This is insane. Does Obama have a passport – Yes. Therefore he is an American Citizen, period.

What passport does his mother and grandmother have – US – where they were born. So the natural born argument is mute.

This is just an argument among people who think passports and citizenships are some mysterious objects of desire.

charlesdegoal December 4, 2008 at 9:41 am

I seem to recall now that “Chiyome Fukino” was the stage name of a male “performing” artist in Ginza, who worked in tandem with one “Linda Lingle” (obviously also a pseudonym). Smoke? Fire?

freakishlystrong December 4, 2008 at 9:41 am

Someone showed the wackjobs how to use “drop shadow”, that’s an improvement..

Borat December 4, 2008 at 9:47 am

[re=190759]kernelPanic[/re]: Oh, god yes, please someone go to this event and take pixxx!!!

Terry December 4, 2008 at 9:50 am


Let’s hope Thomas distributed it to his colleagues so they can all laugh like heck in conference. Otherwise, he’s even more of an empty suit than already has been proven.

Doglessliberal December 4, 2008 at 9:52 am

[re=190781]MysteriousTraveller[/re]: I have trouble articulating how much I cannot stand Clarence Thomas. (and, ironically, he is the angriest black man alive today).

Guppy06 December 4, 2008 at 9:53 am

So the UAW, a group of people who get more benefits and are paid more money that the vast majority of American voters, is asking us for more money. I’m just not seeing that happening.

At any rate, we have both the fatcats in charge of the Big Three and the fatcat union pushing for socialized healthcare more than ever before, because their industry is tanking, because nobody wants to buy SUVs, because the price of gas spiked over the past few years, because Bush invaded Iraq.

So… we’ll have George Bush to thank for single-payer healthcare.

Cape Clod December 4, 2008 at 9:54 am

Getting Alan Keyes involved is a great way for these nut jobs to raise their level of credibility.

Darehead December 4, 2008 at 9:55 am

Of course Barry was not “born” in the United States. He descended from the heavens on clouds, and was given dominion and glory and the presidency, that all peoples, nations, and puppies should serve him.

shanemcgowan December 4, 2008 at 9:57 am

[re=190781]MysteriousTraveller[/re]: I’d like to find out how to join in the suit against “Peoples Association of Human, Animals Conceived God/s and Religions, John McCain [and] USA Govt., Wikipedia and All News Media.” Maybe I can get Baal or Anu to agree to a nusiance settlement. I could use a new lawn mower.

Doglessliberal December 4, 2008 at 9:59 am

[re=190796]Darehead[/re]: descended from heaven on clouds AND unicorns, guided by a path of rainbows.

magic titty December 4, 2008 at 10:02 am

Jesus didn’t need no birth certificate, so neither does Barry!

qwerty42 December 4, 2008 at 10:07 am

[re=190779]finallyhappy[/re]: No Jesuits? They’re slipping.

kimbongil December 4, 2008 at 10:27 am

OK, here is the plan to rid the good ole’ USA of these knuckledraggers. First, we have to get them all in one spot at the same time and then we need to funnel them into paddocks for permanent safe keeping.

How to do? Simple, hold Sarah Palin rallies all over the country and just wait for the nitwits to show up and then tell the clowns that after her speech, she will be whipping out her knockers for anyone and everyone….just exit this way my friends, keep moving, everyone will get there turn, that’s it Bubba, keep it flowing, that’s it, right this way…

shouldnt take more than a couple of weeks if she does two shows daily

Ted Perino December 4, 2008 at 10:47 am

Will Hussein be sworn in on Thomas Jefferson’s Koran like that other jihadi?
Will Michelle wear a burqa or an hijab?
Am I supposed to take off my fez when the Star Spangled Banner plays or do we now just bow toward Washington?

I just wish Obama would clarify his radical muslin agenda. I do want to be appropriate.

Allahu Akbar and Jeff!

NoWireHangers December 4, 2008 at 10:56 am

[re=190781]MysteriousTraveller[/re]: Oh, but here is the sweet sweet frosting on the mouth-breathers’ cake:

Among those filing lawsuits is Alan Keyes, who lost to Obama in the 2004 Illinois Senate race. Keyes’ suit seeks to halt certification of votes in California.

Comedy GOLD!

azw88 December 4, 2008 at 10:57 am

Obama was NOT born in the United States! He was born in Hawaii, a blue state, which we learned from that geography wizard Palin is NOT a part of ‘real America’.

Darehead December 4, 2008 at 10:59 am

[re=190825]kimbongil[/re]: here is the plan to rid the good ole’ USA of these knuckledraggers

Ha! Whereas Canuckledraggers are welcome (back) here anytime…

heroinmule December 4, 2008 at 11:05 am

I can’t believe no one filed a lawsuit in Florida. I thought we could at least count of the “half-breed muslin” guy.

azw88 December 4, 2008 at 11:08 am

[re=190825]kimbongil[/re]: Hell, I want to see her tits, so that would trap far too many horny Obam-ites.

No, you need to advertise that she will provide personal ‘laying on of hands’ and speaking in tongues for everyone in the next room….

Godot December 4, 2008 at 11:10 am

Aw, this is a birth certificate topic? I came in here wanting to talk about the auto industry bailout. Shucks.

FB December 4, 2008 at 11:10 am

” . . . voter opposition to any kind of government rescue of Detroit is growing.”

Voter opposition to any kind of financial industry bailout was nearly total. Like that made any difference!

V572625694 December 4, 2008 at 11:21 am

From the “Obama Crimes” web site:

“This video provides an analysis of Obama’s Certificate of Live Birth by Dr. Ron Polarik detailing the factors contributing to his conclusion that the document is not authentic. “Dr. Polarik” is a pseudonym and his identity is obscured in this video.”

He’s a doctor! So he’d be an expert on birth certificates! No wonder he needs to obscure his identity!

azw88 December 4, 2008 at 11:24 am

[re=190783]Borat[/re]: It is not his citizenship that is in doubt, but the actual physical location of his birth. In order to be President you must be more than just a US citizen, you must be natural born, ie born in the United States or certain territories. (Barry Goldwater was born in the territory of Arizona but was still eligible to be President, whereas McCain was born in ‘no man’s land’ of Panama Canal Zone, not really a territory, and thus made McCain questionably unqualified for the job).

These morons claim that by being born outside of the United States, he is not natural born, and thus not eligible to be President. Never mind that his Mom is a US Citizen and thus he is a citizen by birth (sounds natural born to me). They also claim that he renounced his US citizenship when he lived in Indonesia, ignoring the fact that he was a CHILD and not capable of making such a decision.

After losing these fights, the mofo’s will claim that Obama was born via C-Section and thus not natural born. They will then insist on a series of care-taker presidents until Trig turns 35.

qwerty42 December 4, 2008 at 11:24 am

[re=190781]MysteriousTraveller[/re]: jeeze, the comments at that site. crap. they just get crazier and crazier.
[re=190759]kernelPanic[/re]: the horror.

donner_froh December 4, 2008 at 11:25 am

[re=190863]FB[/re]: Good thing those well managed banks and insurance companies got all the money before the car companies decided to ask for some.

Guppy06 December 4, 2008 at 11:27 am

[re=190874]V572625694[/re]: DOCTOR CONGRESSMAN RON PAUL… arik. Esquire.

azw88 December 4, 2008 at 11:33 am

[re=190881]donner_froh[/re]: Yeah, it is fucking amazing that Congress is nit-picking the shit out of the BIG-3, yet JUMPED at the chance to throw TEN TIMES the money at AIG, Citibank, etc.

And these guys want a FUCKING LOAN… Wall street and banks here HANDED $$$ to use in place of old sock to wipe up their mastabatory cum.

Borat December 4, 2008 at 11:38 am

What is the cultural significance of Wonkette readers by far beating every other team on the EcoDriving game?

Godot December 4, 2008 at 11:57 am

[re=190890]azw88[/re]: Not to mention that:

1) The auto industry bailout proposal is not asking for new money, but rather redirecting some of the already-approved $700 billion from the financial bailout to the Big Three. In other words, this is not a question of taking money from taxpayers and giving it to the Big Three, this is a question of taking money from AIG, Citigroup, etc. and giving it to the Big Three. If we don’t give this money to the auto industry, the banks will get ALL of it.

2) From what I have heard, if we DO let the Big Three go bankrupt, taxpayers are on the hook for UAW retiree benefits, which ARE a new expense while the bailout is not, and besides which is projected to cost MORE than the bailout would have anyway.

Lascauxcaveman December 4, 2008 at 12:07 pm

[re=190825]kimbongil[/re]: Great idea! Take this just one step further and the price of cat food / dog food goes waaay down. So hey, big bonus for us animal lovers.

[re=190857]azw88[/re]: We’ll have to borrow the DNC phone list to warn our side that the whole thing’s a sham.

NoWireHangers December 4, 2008 at 12:23 pm

[re=190880]qwerty42[/re]: I just left a long, mockery-filled comment. It’s so fun going into nut forums and stirring the pot! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

yellowdogdem December 4, 2008 at 1:55 pm

[re=190764]ManchuCandidate[/re]: You mean The X Files weren’t real? I’m devastated.

glamourdammerung December 4, 2008 at 2:04 pm

[re=190894]Borat[/re]: It is just one more sign of our superiority.

qwerty42 December 4, 2008 at 3:13 pm

[re=190955]NoWireHangers[/re]: I went back to the Chicago Tribune site to look and they are getting crazier. while these people are comical, this is going to wear thin if they keep it up. It is along the lines of being nagged by a child.

DangerousLiberal December 4, 2008 at 5:30 pm

[re=190767]lazyb[/re]: Now a socialist state? Missed by *that* much (i.e., two months). Dumbfucks.

And what is with Dr. Dink Dorkus or whatever the ‘structural media’ PhD (no such thing) and the weird mob witness pixellation, etc? Because some people have attacked him with big, expensive and painful words like “dingus” “dumbass” or even “fraud”? What a total dumbfuck.

The more I think about this, the more Dr Dorkus has gotta be punking these dumb SOBs, right?

DangerousLiberal December 4, 2008 at 5:34 pm

[re=190783]Borat[/re]: Uh, the question is, was BHO a “natural born American citizen.” A naturalized U.S. citizen can have a passport, but not be constitutionally qualified to be prez. So what’s GHWB’s excuse?

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