whores

Race Will Only Be Transcended By Those Who Purchase Obama Fleece!

The silly DNC spent all of its cash on loser Jim Martin’s 800 losses in Georgia this year, so what do they do, right, they go to Obama and ask for a damn check, and then he e-mails us to hawk some more junk. “Obama for America” writes, “This holiday season, celebrate the historic accomplishment of our movement for change. Treat yourself or a loved one to a limited edition Obama fleece jacket.” It’s really the only appropriate celebration for such an historic accomplishment. They are $50, and if you do not buy one then you hate black people. [Barack Obama]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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80 comments

  1. p-Sludge ofTheElves

    I’ve seen these guys popping up around town. Clean-cut youth voters in Obama fleece jackets. They can be seen helpfully giving people directions or also occasionally caning, tiring or curbing neo-nazi skinheads.

  2. StephanieInCA

    Wow, maybe if i wear 200 of these I won’t freeze my nonexistant balls off the inauguration outside in DC in January. At least DC bars will be open round the clock so I can nurse my frostbite with a Hot Chuck Toddy.

  3. Texan Bulldoggette

    Well, hell. I must be in the ‘poor people’ donor category. I just got an email to donate to receive a ‘limited edition four-year calendar featuring some of the best images from the campaign trail’ for just a measly $35. He should not be pitting donors by rich vs. poor–that is not change we can believe in.

  4. trophy(forparticipation)wife

    Are they kidding? I’m getting those Franklin Mint Obama plates before they run out. There’s a limit of two per person. No one here mind if I use their name? I really want a set of eighteen.

  5. nurple

    I saw a couple of these parkas kickin’ the crap out of a couple of those grey missinoary trench coats.

  6. StephanieInCA

    [re=190551]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Are the Hawaii shirtless photos in there? If so, put me down for 50.

  7. Kev-O-Tron

    God can they please fucking stop already? He makes his supporters look obsessed. I voted for the guy but it’s time to move on. Since the election I’ve been less involved with the news and have rediscovered my hobbies: smoking pot and masturbating. Now if Obama had some paraphenalia (like a double chambered O-bong-ma or, say, Barack and Michelle’s guide to intimacy on DVD)…well, that’s change I can believe in.

  8. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=190551]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I’m in the super-low category (I gave zero because I’m poor and I value my bar tab above politics, sorry those are my loyalties) and all I got was an for a fucking lapel pin.

  9. Internally valid

    Oh noes! I hate teh blacks! And I’m too cheap to buy a fleece. Am I a secret republican?

  10. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=190570]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: No worries. Liquor is always a better investment than a lapel pin. Besides, if I recall correctly, you are jobless & therefore no longer wear clothing with a lapel. Bastards are rubbing it in aren’t they? Ouch!

  11. Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo

    These coats are no where near long enough to roast my truck-nutz to the proper toasty warm temperature that they’ve become accustomed since Jesus won the election.

    I would however, pay Steve Schmidt $55 to follow me around and breathe on them heavily.

  12. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=190576]Internally valid[/re]: “Am I a secret republican?” Let me help you answer your question. Do you have a fetish for young boys, pre-pubescent girls, hate the gays, Jews coloreds, Messicans, frequently quote the Bible and are secretly gay? If you answered yes, to any of these, you just might be a Republican.

  13. Hans Off

    I’m not sure why it’s limited edition.

    These are so attractive I’m sure everyone would want one.

  14. Jamie Sommers

    Eff that shit. They still haven’t sent me that limited addition t-shirt they promised when I gave them $50 three months ago.

  15. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=190586]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: oops, left off a comma “Jews, coloreds” (not Jews that have been colored)

  16. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=190580]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Oh I’m still gainfully employed. It’s funny though. I just got my plane ticket for DC next month and the irony of submitting my vacation request so early is pretty harsh. I’m afraid they’ll say something like “Sure Kevo! How’d you like the whole month off?” Fortunately Mrs. Tron just threw in the towel with old Kevo and I got stuck with a $400 plane ticket so this trip is all paid for.

  17. Beer4Prez

    I just got my “Holiday Mug!” email two minutes ago. I’m holding out for my “Holiday republican-ass-kicking Paddle.” But really, I just hope I get emails from David P. for the next 8 years, will make me feel lonely when he stops.

  18. shortsshortsshorts

    No Barry. I will not buy your stupid fucking jacket.
    I bought your fucking T-Shirt and it’s already faded from its original blue to Republican Red. My friends in San Francisco ridicule me for it. You have ruined my life, Barry. I will never talk to you again.

  19. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=190594]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Ohhhh, you lost your wife–not your job; I just remember you lost something. (Sorry for the mix up!) My condolences or congratulations–whichever works best.

  20. P.T.T.

    [re=190545]p-Sludge ofTheElves[/re]: “I’ve seen these guys popping up around town. Clean-cut youth voters in Obama fleece jackets. They can be seen helpfully giving people directions or also occasionally caning, tiring or curbing neo-nazi skinheads.”

    According to the BBC News Quiz–a podcast I recommend bellylaughfully–the neo-Nazis in the BNP have been “winning hearts and minds” by offering to mow old lady’s lawns, trim hedges, and help get pussies out of trees. This gives do-goodism a bad name. I say we don our O-Bama! fleeces and go kick some grannybutt with the droogies.

  21. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=190600]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: It’s kind of a toss up. I mean, she was a great girl and all (not a wife btw – I just said Mrs. 4tehlulz) but now I can have sex with strangers again and wake up in odd places.

    Back on topic! Anybody that buys one of these deserves a fucking stomping. Wear that in my neighborhood and I’ll shove a rainbow up your ass.

  22. problemwithcaring

    [re=190563]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: We have so much in common. Pot and porn are the only things it doesn’t hurt me to love.

    Also, concur on the confusing still-existence of Obamania. I wouldn’t even rock an Obama Northface, with the real fur trim let alone, some mom Carpool fleece vest. Besides, if you really want to support Black people on the ‘net, its easier to just give the nice businessmen your bank account # when they ask you over email.

  23. Texan Bulldoggette

    To add insult to injury (because I just rate a $35 email donation request from Barry), MoveOn just informed me that my Obama Victory sticker is on back order & I’ll receive it when I receive it but please tell everyone I know to go to their site to order one. Hmmm…I’m starting to suspect I’m not the only one special enough to receive this fine offer.

  24. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=190608]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: No offense, but if it was just a girlfriend, meh. You’ll blow through 20 or 30 more gals before you realize that you better marry or a) your family will assume you’re gay; b) you don’t want to die alone & have your pets feed on your carcass for a couple weeks before anyone misses you; c) you lose the will to live & decide for the lady dujour ‘You’ll do because I don’t hate you on sight. Let’s get this shit over with.’

  25. NoWireHangers

    I get about an email a week from Barry promoting “Limited Edition” Obama/Biden t-shirts, fleeces, sweatshirts and (probably) butt plugs. When I saw the “Limited Edition” Holiday Hope T they were hawking last week, I thought, who the fuck has money to buy this shit? It’s the equivalent of a $30 t-shirt per week. Then I thought, there’s probably at least one person in America steadily amassing Limited Edition Hopewear™, which they will store in their whore diamond encrusted basement masturbatorium.

  26. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=190618]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: noted. thanks. In the meantime may I continue hooking up with skanks? (I use protection)

  27. Lascauxcaveman

    Hey, why all the hate? That’s actually a pretty nice looking fleece. I’d feel kinda stupid wearing one, though.

    Not as stupid as wearing one that said “Pepsi” or “Ford” or had a Nike swoosh on it, but still, pretty stupid.

  28. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=190624]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: In the words of a recent famous politician/philosopher: You betcha!

  29. S.Luggo

    According to freerepublic.com, jacket accessories include:
    1. Black ski mask.
    2. Glock 9.
    3. Boom box.
    4. Swahili-English dictionary.
    5. Copy of Das Kapital in the original Arabic.
    Just noting.

  30. smellyal8r

    Fleeced indeed. Most of these will prob’ly be framed and errr…mounted over the fireplace, no?

  31. S.Luggo

    Bye the by, if the price of the jacket is a “donation”, why does site use “.com” instead of “.org”?

    I guess that this makes me anti-small business.

  32. Not_So_Much

    Bah. You can get a free one with a subscription to Sports Illustrated. I have like seven of them and they all suck ass.

    Oh sweet shoe phone, how I miss those days…

    [re=190624]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Since we’ll all soon be jobless, honing your hook-up skills is prudent. Waking up with strangers in a hovel is better than strangers waking you up by knocking over your shopping cart/”mobile home”.

  33. grevillea

    Come January, the only clothing allowed will be Obama branded. At least that’s what I read on freerepublic.

  34. Servo

    I’m still waiting for my Hopey underoos. They kinda look like Frozone’s super-suit, but dark blue with the big “O” on the chest. No cape.

  35. Servo

    What about Obama penny-rollers? That will be the new currency starting January. Available from seat cushions everywhere.

  36. Keram2

    [re=190608]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: So let me get this straight, Kev-O, spending a small sum of money on an Obama fleece, bad. Spending lots of money to stand in the cold on the Mall and watch a black speck in the distance that may or may not be Obama, good.

    I keed, I keed. I’m going too if my congressecretaryofstate ever gets back to me, but something tells me Hillary is worrying about other things…

  37. azw88

    Hmmmm artificial sheep hair coats for the followers of the fake messiah.

    Buy the Fleece or BE fleeced. (or is that buy the fleece and be fleeced)

  38. S.Luggo

    [re=190672]Keram2[/re]:
    “I keed. I keed. I wear the bottom of my fleece jacket rolled.”
    Friggin’ Anglo intellectual. I meet you at the Taco Bell, plastic knives drawn.

    - Hugo Chavez

  39. Keram2

    [re=190690]S.Luggo[/re]: Compañeros y compañeras, en mi mal inglés, quiero decier algo a Señor Bush: “JOUR ANGLO PRESEDENTE EES THE FESTERING WELT ON THE BALLSACK OF IMPERIALISM!”

    - Hugo Chavez

  40. Beer4Prez

    [re=190692]rocktonsammy[/re]: It was called the past two years, when the hope and changers identified themselves with hip obama t-shirts, hats, fleeces, and sweatbands, giving each other high-fives as they walked or ran by. Sorries.

  41. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    All Wearers of Fleeces are Equal

    But Wearers of Black Fleeces are More Equal than Other Fleeces.

  42. Larry McAwful

    Don’t they get it? Only the paraphernalia from losing campaigns is hip. That’s why my James G. Blaine performance fleece, my “Can’t lose with Charles Hughes” coffee mug and my Al Smith hip flask get me so many chicks.

    Anyone can back a winner after the fact. It takes someone who’s really connected to back a loser who has no shot at winning anymore.

  43. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=190671]Odd Ass City[/re]: Oh, man. That’s so bad its almost good. I bet it’s made from really cheap light plastic and starts cracking after a few weeks of hot beverages. (Ask me about the “Ryan’s Hope” mug my boss gave me when I worked for an ABC affiliate back in the 80′s.)

    Also back then (in the 80′s), in election years I used to wear a vintage 1972 “Nixon Now” pin my dad originally gave me to wear when he sent me doorbelling when I was little kid. Stuck there on my lapel (zoom back to the 80′s) next to my “Never Mind the Bollocks” pin, it was a sure-fire conversation starter. You probably all won’t believe this, but the other pin I wore back then said simply “HOPE.”

  44. buggers

    [re=190712]Hans Xioaping[/re]: it’s “testes, testes” on this site, friend

    All I got was an email about a keychain, which I think ranks lower than a mug. This fits due to my unemployed circumstances, though, I suppose.

  45. Mojopo

    Those Obama coins are pretty, in a QVC kind of way. WTF are people going to do with those coins? Pass them around the bingo hall or what?

    P.S.: I blogged about the Mumbai terrorists on crack. Here:
    http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1863917,00.html

    An expensive, unhealthy addiction couldn’t happen to a better cell. Booger sugar will demoralize terrorists faster than we can. Keep up the good work, Mr. Yayo.

  46. S.Luggo

    [re=190712]Hans Xioaping[/re]: As Chairman Mao said, “In the Long March, it is good have sanitary diapers and a Euro Pass.”
    He knew.

  47. druranium

    The democrats have a base too. Why not cash in by selling them cheesy fleece to wear to their hippy meetings? Though I could swear those “Obama Collectible Plate” ads on the cable news channel are all republicans.
    His kind heart and caring eyes??? That just sounds way too obvious

  48. Borat

    I think Obama might be on to something here. We should just all start buying Obama clothes, and this money can be used to pay for healthcare.

  49. P.T.T.

    Corruption of the text. For

    “I keed. I keed. I wear the bottom of my fleece jacket rolled.”

    read

    “Before the taking of a fleece and tee
    In the room the hopeys come and go
    Talking of Obamero.”

  50. Toomush Infermashun

    Geez, all I want is some new decoration for my XXX-mas tree – anyone know where I can get an impeach Bush ornament…?

  51. Blue Jefferson Clinton the Cat

    [re=190588]Jamie Sommers[/re]: I was just thinkin the same thing! I haven’t gotten my car magnet yet (but they got my $50!!) I am not falling for this one again -besides I live in S Florida, where tha eff would I wear a fleece? Gonna pay the light bill this month instead

  52. 4tehlulz

    [re=190747]P.T.T.[/re]: Is the Obamero the new currency that the PREZNIT ANTIKWIST is going to impose on the new union of Canada, the US, Mexico, and Indonesia?

  53. finallyhappy

    [re=190615]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I got my sticker and I got the fleece offer- but not buying. I got my two move-on shirts but gave them away. I’m sorry but I guess Obama and David P love me better.

  54. trh

    [re=190551]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I am getting the calender to piss off my GOP coworker who has to stare at my back and my wall. I was going to put my JFK staring poster, but this will piss him off every day FOR FOUR YEARS.

  55. marioninnyc

    They just put out a four year calendar for $35, but I’m waiting for the day planner. There should be some retailing space opening up soon in NYC, so I wonder if there’ll be opening the Obamaland store in Times Square next to Disney. The NY store will carry a special Hiln’Bill line.

  56. ToeCramps

    Obama fleece is the new Sean John! Straight from the runways of the southside of Chgo! You are not into fashion if you’re not rockin the latest Obama gear! ya heard!

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