WHORES  6:04 pm December 3, 2008

Race Will Only Be Transcended By Those Who Purchase Obama Fleece!

by Jim Newell

The silly DNC spent all of its cash on loser Jim Martin’s 800 losses in Georgia this year, so what do they do, right, they go to Obama and ask for a damn check, and then he e-mails us to hawk some more junk. “Obama for America” writes, “This holiday season, celebrate the historic accomplishment of our movement for change. Treat yourself or a loved one to a limited edition Obama fleece jacket.” It’s really the only appropriate celebration for such an historic accomplishment. They are $50, and if you do not buy one then you hate black people. [Barack Obama]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 80 comments }

p-Sludge ofTheElves December 3, 2008 at 6:09 pm

I’ve seen these guys popping up around town. Clean-cut youth voters in Obama fleece jackets. They can be seen helpfully giving people directions or also occasionally caning, tiring or curbing neo-nazi skinheads.

StephanieInCA December 3, 2008 at 6:10 pm

Wow, maybe if i wear 200 of these I won’t freeze my nonexistant balls off the inauguration outside in DC in January. At least DC bars will be open round the clock so I can nurse my frostbite with a Hot Chuck Toddy.

hedgehog December 3, 2008 at 6:10 pm

“No, it absolutely does not come in white.”

Texan Bulldoggette December 3, 2008 at 6:10 pm

Well, hell. I must be in the ‘poor people’ donor category. I just got an email to donate to receive a ‘limited edition four-year calendar featuring some of the best images from the campaign trail’ for just a measly $35. He should not be pitting donors by rich vs. poor–that is not change we can believe in.

trophy(forparticipation)wife December 3, 2008 at 6:11 pm

Are they kidding? I’m getting those Franklin Mint Obama plates before they run out. There’s a limit of two per person. No one here mind if I use their name? I really want a set of eighteen.

nurple December 3, 2008 at 6:11 pm

I saw a couple of these parkas kickin’ the crap out of a couple of those grey missinoary trench coats.

StephanieInCA December 3, 2008 at 6:12 pm

[re=190551]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Are the Hawaii shirtless photos in there? If so, put me down for 50.

hobgoblin of little minds December 3, 2008 at 6:14 pm

I give these hope-jackets three political whore diamonds!

Kev-O-Tron December 3, 2008 at 6:18 pm

God can they please fucking stop already? He makes his supporters look obsessed. I voted for the guy but it’s time to move on. Since the election I’ve been less involved with the news and have rediscovered my hobbies: smoking pot and masturbating. Now if Obama had some paraphenalia (like a double chambered O-bong-ma or, say, Barack and Michelle’s guide to intimacy on DVD)…well, that’s change I can believe in.

sarahconnor December 3, 2008 at 6:22 pm

This would look great with Old Navy jeans, listening to Cold Play, on a Zume.

GlennBecksTaint December 3, 2008 at 6:22 pm

oh crap i just bought a Sarah Palin PolarBear Fleece.

Kev-O-Tron December 3, 2008 at 6:23 pm

[re=190551]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I’m in the super-low category (I gave zero because I’m poor and I value my bar tab above politics, sorry those are my loyalties) and all I got was an for a fucking lapel pin.

sarahconnor December 3, 2008 at 6:23 pm

ZUNE

The Lucky Republican December 3, 2008 at 6:23 pm

[re=190563]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: What a coincidence! Those are my hobbies too.

Internally valid December 3, 2008 at 6:29 pm

Oh noes! I hate teh blacks! And I’m too cheap to buy a fleece. Am I a secret republican?

Borat December 3, 2008 at 6:31 pm

I think for 2012, we should go for those colorful shirts the Zanu-PF likes to outfit its boyz in. You know stuff like this:

http://flickr.com/photos/53911892@N00/465156072/

Texan Bulldoggette December 3, 2008 at 6:31 pm

[re=190570]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: No worries. Liquor is always a better investment than a lapel pin. Besides, if I recall correctly, you are jobless & therefore no longer wear clothing with a lapel. Bastards are rubbing it in aren’t they? Ouch!

Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo December 3, 2008 at 6:33 pm

These coats are no where near long enough to roast my truck-nutz to the proper toasty warm temperature that they’ve become accustomed since Jesus won the election.

I would however, pay Steve Schmidt $55 to follow me around and breathe on them heavily.

Texan Bulldoggette December 3, 2008 at 6:34 pm

[re=190576]Internally valid[/re]: “Am I a secret republican?” Let me help you answer your question. Do you have a fetish for young boys, pre-pubescent girls, hate the gays, Jews coloreds, Messicans, frequently quote the Bible and are secretly gay? If you answered yes, to any of these, you just might be a Republican.

Hans Off December 3, 2008 at 6:35 pm

I’m not sure why it’s limited edition.

These are so attractive I’m sure everyone would want one.

Jamie Sommers December 3, 2008 at 6:35 pm

Eff that shit. They still haven’t sent me that limited addition t-shirt they promised when I gave them $50 three months ago.

Texan Bulldoggette December 3, 2008 at 6:38 pm

[re=190586]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: oops, left off a comma “Jews, coloreds” (not Jews that have been colored)

Kev-O-Tron December 3, 2008 at 6:39 pm

[re=190580]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Oh I’m still gainfully employed. It’s funny though. I just got my plane ticket for DC next month and the irony of submitting my vacation request so early is pretty harsh. I’m afraid they’ll say something like “Sure Kevo! How’d you like the whole month off?” Fortunately Mrs. Tron just threw in the towel with old Kevo and I got stuck with a $400 plane ticket so this trip is all paid for.

Beer4Prez December 3, 2008 at 6:40 pm

I just got my “Holiday Mug!” email two minutes ago. I’m holding out for my “Holiday republican-ass-kicking Paddle.” But really, I just hope I get emails from David P. for the next 8 years, will make me feel lonely when he stops.

shortsshortsshorts December 3, 2008 at 6:40 pm

No Barry. I will not buy your stupid fucking jacket.
I bought your fucking T-Shirt and it’s already faded from its original blue to Republican Red. My friends in San Francisco ridicule me for it. You have ruined my life, Barry. I will never talk to you again.

Texan Bulldoggette December 3, 2008 at 6:43 pm

[re=190594]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Ohhhh, you lost your wife–not your job; I just remember you lost something. (Sorry for the mix up!) My condolences or congratulations–whichever works best.

P.T.T. December 3, 2008 at 6:43 pm

[re=190545]p-Sludge ofTheElves[/re]: “I’ve seen these guys popping up around town. Clean-cut youth voters in Obama fleece jackets. They can be seen helpfully giving people directions or also occasionally caning, tiring or curbing neo-nazi skinheads.”

According to the BBC News Quiz–a podcast I recommend bellylaughfully–the neo-Nazis in the BNP have been “winning hearts and minds” by offering to mow old lady’s lawns, trim hedges, and help get pussies out of trees. This gives do-goodism a bad name. I say we don our O-Bama! fleeces and go kick some grannybutt with the droogies.

jimstoic December 3, 2008 at 6:47 pm

Don’t forget the Obama Snuggies and Slankets!
http://nottheeternaltao.blogspot.com/2008/12/obama-merchandise-galore.html

It' December 3, 2008 at 6:48 pm

I always feel so sheepish when I wear fleece.

Kev-O-Tron December 3, 2008 at 6:48 pm

[re=190600]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: It’s kind of a toss up. I mean, she was a great girl and all (not a wife btw – I just said Mrs. 4tehlulz) but now I can have sex with strangers again and wake up in odd places.

Back on topic! Anybody that buys one of these deserves a fucking stomping. Wear that in my neighborhood and I’ll shove a rainbow up your ass.

Hans_It_To_ya! December 3, 2008 at 6:50 pm

testing

Hans_It_To_ya! December 3, 2008 at 6:51 pm

[re=190608]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Ouch a roonie!

problemwithcaring December 3, 2008 at 6:57 pm

[re=190563]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: We have so much in common. Pot and porn are the only things it doesn’t hurt me to love.

Also, concur on the confusing still-existence of Obamania. I wouldn’t even rock an Obama Northface, with the real fur trim let alone, some mom Carpool fleece vest. Besides, if you really want to support Black people on the ‘net, its easier to just give the nice businessmen your bank account # when they ask you over email.

Texan Bulldoggette December 3, 2008 at 6:58 pm

To add insult to injury (because I just rate a $35 email donation request from Barry), MoveOn just informed me that my Obama Victory sticker is on back order & I’ll receive it when I receive it but please tell everyone I know to go to their site to order one. Hmmm…I’m starting to suspect I’m not the only one special enough to receive this fine offer.

Texan Bulldoggette December 3, 2008 at 7:02 pm

[re=190608]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: No offense, but if it was just a girlfriend, meh. You’ll blow through 20 or 30 more gals before you realize that you better marry or a) your family will assume you’re gay; b) you don’t want to die alone & have your pets feed on your carcass for a couple weeks before anyone misses you; c) you lose the will to live & decide for the lady dujour ‘You’ll do because I don’t hate you on sight. Let’s get this shit over with.’

NoWireHangers December 3, 2008 at 7:05 pm

I get about an email a week from Barry promoting “Limited Edition” Obama/Biden t-shirts, fleeces, sweatshirts and (probably) butt plugs. When I saw the “Limited Edition” Holiday Hope T they were hawking last week, I thought, who the fuck has money to buy this shit? It’s the equivalent of a $30 t-shirt per week. Then I thought, there’s probably at least one person in America steadily amassing Limited Edition Hopewear™, which they will store in their whore diamond encrusted basement masturbatorium.

dotdotdotdotdot December 3, 2008 at 7:08 pm

[re=190586]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Oh TB, thank you for that laugh. I weep.

Kev-O-Tron December 3, 2008 at 7:15 pm

[re=190618]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: noted. thanks. In the meantime may I continue hooking up with skanks? (I use protection)

Lascauxcaveman December 3, 2008 at 7:23 pm

Hey, why all the hate? That’s actually a pretty nice looking fleece. I’d feel kinda stupid wearing one, though.

Not as stupid as wearing one that said “Pepsi” or “Ford” or had a Nike swoosh on it, but still, pretty stupid.

Texan Bulldoggette December 3, 2008 at 7:24 pm

[re=190624]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: In the words of a recent famous politician/philosopher: You betcha!

S.Luggo December 3, 2008 at 7:25 pm

According to freerepublic.com, jacket accessories include:
1. Black ski mask.
2. Glock 9.
3. Boom box.
4. Swahili-English dictionary.
5. Copy of Das Kapital in the original Arabic.
Just noting.

smellyal8r December 3, 2008 at 7:26 pm

Fleeced indeed. Most of these will prob’ly be framed and errr…mounted over the fireplace, no?

wickedlittledoll December 3, 2008 at 7:27 pm

Maybe I can use the money I get from Obama’s redistribution of wealth policies to buy it!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

S.Luggo December 3, 2008 at 7:46 pm

Bye the by, if the price of the jacket is a “donation”, why does site use “.com” instead of “.org”?

I guess that this makes me anti-small business.

hockeymom December 3, 2008 at 7:55 pm

[re=190571]sarahconnor[/re]: It’s funny any way you spell it.

Not_So_Much December 3, 2008 at 8:04 pm

Bah. You can get a free one with a subscription to Sports Illustrated. I have like seven of them and they all suck ass.

Oh sweet shoe phone, how I miss those days…

[re=190624]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Since we’ll all soon be jobless, honing your hook-up skills is prudent. Waking up with strangers in a hovel is better than strangers waking you up by knocking over your shopping cart/”mobile home”.

grevillea December 3, 2008 at 8:05 pm

Come January, the only clothing allowed will be Obama branded. At least that’s what I read on freerepublic.

wheelie December 3, 2008 at 8:16 pm

I want to see Barry model that fleece. With a pair of cute jeans, or just boxers. Then I donate.

Servo December 3, 2008 at 8:22 pm

I’m still waiting for my Hopey underoos. They kinda look like Frozone’s super-suit, but dark blue with the big “O” on the chest. No cape.

Servo December 3, 2008 at 8:33 pm

What about Obama penny-rollers? That will be the new currency starting January. Available from seat cushions everywhere.

Odd Ass City December 3, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Keram2 December 3, 2008 at 8:51 pm

[re=190608]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: So let me get this straight, Kev-O, spending a small sum of money on an Obama fleece, bad. Spending lots of money to stand in the cold on the Mall and watch a black speck in the distance that may or may not be Obama, good.

I keed, I keed. I’m going too if my congressecretaryofstate ever gets back to me, but something tells me Hillary is worrying about other things…

azw88 December 3, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Hmmmm artificial sheep hair coats for the followers of the fake messiah.

Buy the Fleece or BE fleeced. (or is that buy the fleece and be fleeced)

S.Luggo December 3, 2008 at 9:52 pm

[re=190672]Keram2[/re]:
“I keed. I keed. I wear the bottom of my fleece jacket rolled.”
Friggin’ Anglo intellectual. I meet you at the Taco Bell, plastic knives drawn.

- Hugo Chavez

rocktonsammy December 3, 2008 at 9:58 pm

I’m not buying any of this crap until its cool to be seen wearing it.

nuckingfutz December 3, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Feh. Hobos don’t wear fleece.

Keram2 December 3, 2008 at 10:12 pm

[re=190690]S.Luggo[/re]: Compañeros y compañeras, en mi mal inglés, quiero decier algo a Señor Bush: “JOUR ANGLO PRESEDENTE EES THE FESTERING WELT ON THE BALLSACK OF IMPERIALISM!”

- Hugo Chavez

Beer4Prez December 3, 2008 at 10:46 pm

[re=190692]rocktonsammy[/re]: It was called the past two years, when the hope and changers identified themselves with hip obama t-shirts, hats, fleeces, and sweatbands, giving each other high-fives as they walked or ran by. Sorries.

Hans_The_Plaxico_Burress December 3, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Change my baby’s got me locked up in change

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 3, 2008 at 10:52 pm

All Wearers of Fleeces are Equal

But Wearers of Black Fleeces are More Equal than Other Fleeces.

I' December 3, 2008 at 10:59 pm

I especially like the nifty round insignia type thing.

Hans Xioaping December 3, 2008 at 11:01 pm

testing testing

Larry McAwful December 3, 2008 at 11:36 pm

Don’t they get it? Only the paraphernalia from losing campaigns is hip. That’s why my James G. Blaine performance fleece, my “Can’t lose with Charles Hughes” coffee mug and my Al Smith hip flask get me so many chicks.

Anyone can back a winner after the fact. It takes someone who’s really connected to back a loser who has no shot at winning anymore.

Lascauxcaveman December 4, 2008 at 12:30 am

[re=190671]Odd Ass City[/re]: Oh, man. That’s so bad its almost good. I bet it’s made from really cheap light plastic and starts cracking after a few weeks of hot beverages. (Ask me about the “Ryan’s Hope” mug my boss gave me when I worked for an ABC affiliate back in the 80′s.)

Also back then (in the 80′s), in election years I used to wear a vintage 1972 “Nixon Now” pin my dad originally gave me to wear when he sent me doorbelling when I was little kid. Stuck there on my lapel (zoom back to the 80′s) next to my “Never Mind the Bollocks” pin, it was a sure-fire conversation starter. You probably all won’t believe this, but the other pin I wore back then said simply “HOPE.”

buggers December 4, 2008 at 1:24 am

[re=190712]Hans Xioaping[/re]: it’s “testes, testes” on this site, friend

All I got was an email about a keychain, which I think ranks lower than a mug. This fits due to my unemployed circumstances, though, I suppose.

Mojopo December 4, 2008 at 2:05 am

Those Obama coins are pretty, in a QVC kind of way. WTF are people going to do with those coins? Pass them around the bingo hall or what?

P.S.: I blogged about the Mumbai terrorists on crack. Here:
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1863917,00.html

An expensive, unhealthy addiction couldn’t happen to a better cell. Booger sugar will demoralize terrorists faster than we can. Keep up the good work, Mr. Yayo.

InsidiousTuna December 4, 2008 at 2:58 am

[re=190716]Larry McAwful[/re]: So the entire state of Oklahoma is hip as fuck.

S.Luggo December 4, 2008 at 3:36 am

[re=190712]Hans Xioaping[/re]: As Chairman Mao said, “In the Long March, it is good have sanitary diapers and a Euro Pass.”
He knew.

druranium December 4, 2008 at 4:55 am

The democrats have a base too. Why not cash in by selling them cheesy fleece to wear to their hippy meetings? Though I could swear those “Obama Collectible Plate” ads on the cable news channel are all republicans.
His kind heart and caring eyes??? That just sounds way too obvious

druranium December 4, 2008 at 4:59 am

Confident smile and kind eyes. Sorry
here’s the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2ECtj-ViHM

Borat December 4, 2008 at 6:22 am

I think Obama might be on to something here. We should just all start buying Obama clothes, and this money can be used to pay for healthcare.

P.T.T. December 4, 2008 at 6:40 am

Corruption of the text. For

“I keed. I keed. I wear the bottom of my fleece jacket rolled.”

read

“Before the taking of a fleece and tee
In the room the hopeys come and go
Talking of Obamero.”

Toomush Infermashun December 4, 2008 at 7:51 am

Geez, all I want is some new decoration for my XXX-mas tree – anyone know where I can get an impeach Bush ornament…?

Blue Jefferson Clinton the Cat December 4, 2008 at 8:18 am

[re=190588]Jamie Sommers[/re]: I was just thinkin the same thing! I haven’t gotten my car magnet yet (but they got my $50!!) I am not falling for this one again -besides I live in S Florida, where tha eff would I wear a fleece? Gonna pay the light bill this month instead

4tehlulz December 4, 2008 at 8:32 am

[re=190747]P.T.T.[/re]: Is the Obamero the new currency that the PREZNIT ANTIKWIST is going to impose on the new union of Canada, the US, Mexico, and Indonesia?

finallyhappy December 4, 2008 at 9:40 am

[re=190615]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I got my sticker and I got the fleece offer- but not buying. I got my two move-on shirts but gave them away. I’m sorry but I guess Obama and David P love me better.

trh December 4, 2008 at 10:24 am

[re=190551]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I am getting the calender to piss off my GOP coworker who has to stare at my back and my wall. I was going to put my JFK staring poster, but this will piss him off every day FOR FOUR YEARS.

actor212 December 4, 2008 at 10:36 am

What? No hoodie?

marioninnyc December 4, 2008 at 12:15 pm

They just put out a four year calendar for $35, but I’m waiting for the day planner. There should be some retailing space opening up soon in NYC, so I wonder if there’ll be opening the Obamaland store in Times Square next to Disney. The NY store will carry a special Hiln’Bill line.

ToeCramps December 4, 2008 at 1:10 pm

Obama fleece is the new Sean John! Straight from the runways of the southside of Chgo! You are not into fashion if you’re not rockin the latest Obama gear! ya heard!

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