you call that elitist?

Obama Accused of Using Lame ‘Zune’ Device

Not so cool now.According to some Philadelphia CityPaper blog post we don’t really believe and can only half comprehend because the HTML is all broken because a million people must be trying to read this same important scandalous story right now, Barack Obama was seen in a gym somewhere using the failed Microsoft music player called “the Zune” — instead of the Apple Mac iPod, which is what fancy people use, because they are so classy with their taste and money. UPCOMING REVELATIONS: Obama wears Old Navy jeans, likes Coldplay, loved The Da Vinci Code, and thought Return of the Jedi was the best of the original trilogy, because of the Ewoks. [CityPaper & CityPaper]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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  • actor212

    Hey used the Zune because he didn’t want to risk the iPod in a pickup game.

    When he plays league, he trots out the Apple.

  • Hooray For Anything

    NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • dotdotdotdotdot

    Dude, he got that in exchange for his Dodge Neon.

  • Heywood Floyd

    He also shoots underhanded foul shots.

  • sanantonerose

    I’m sure Steve Jobs will sneak him a diamond encrusted iPod down the chimney for xmas.

  • EnBuenOra

    Maybe he liked the Ewoks, but hairdresser / producer Jon Peters is once again trying to insert a giant mechanical robot spider into a movie which never had one. After having his spider fetish whetted with Wild Wild West, now he’s trying to fuck up Sandman.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Peters

  • bitchincamaro

    Please tell me he wasn’t playing in his loafers.

  • WIDTAP

    Oh Dear God! This is the worst scandal since that picture of Barry in a short sleeved shirt an sweater vest in the family Christmas photo.

  • Crab1

    Oh crap. WE R DUMED!

  • Dave J.

    Barack’s on the other line, asking if I saw Leno’s hilarious monologue last night.

  • dotdotdotdotdot

    FINALLY we discover the REAL BARACK OBAMA

  • Godot

    …I have a Zune.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=190320]Godot[/re]: BANNED!!!

  • dano

    I sheepishly admit to owning a Zune as well. I needed an MP3 player for biking and I hate Apple fans boys.

  • WIDTAP

    [re=190320]Godot[/re]: Richardson? Aren’t you too busy to post right now?

  • ManchuCandidate

    [re=190319]dotdotdotdotdot[/re]:
    The Real Barry’s a dork! Albeit a very smart dork with a hot wife, a Hahvahd law degree, elected senator and now preznit.

    Does this mean that between Barry and Michelle, Michelle’s the “cool” parent?

  • Sassette

    As long as he doesn’t wear Crocs, he’s OK by me.

  • facehead

    I can’t believe I voted for an ewok-lover.

  • NoWireHangers

    We knew everything we needed to know about Barry’s “coolness” when we saw him riding a bike with a helmet with his cell phone clipped to his Dad Jeans.

  • V572625694

    Barack probably traded the Neon in on a Ford Country Squire station wagon with fake wood on the sides.

    [re=190324]dano[/re]: [re=190320]Godot[/re]: [re=190323]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: The Apple cult is repugnant, isn’t it?

  • Serolf Divad

    I had a Zune once…. AND THEN MY DAD GOT A JOB!*

    *Just kidding. I’ve never owned a Zune.

  • hedgehog

    [re=190329]facehead[/re]: You ever bang an Ewok? Well, I have and they’re nuts.

  • ericblair

    Another reason I’m glad I stopped reading the “alternative press.” Alternative to what, significance?

  • sarcasticusername

    i thought reggie got him an ipod for his birthday?!? barry’s gopher clearly gets revenge on barry for being so high maintenance, by making him look dorky. he really went too far when he insisted on that organic blackberry tea shit he drinks, the zune is the modern equivalent of a lump of coal.

  • Godot

    [re=190323]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Well my iPod had just broken and the 30GB Zune was a lot cheaper on Amazon than any comparable product if I bought the brown one, so I did.

    Though I haven’t used it much lately, I’ve switched over to a portable XM satellite radio! (oh god I’m not helping my case am I?)

  • obfuscator

    He’s probably still kicking himself buying a Betamax in 1983, too.

  • Crab1

    All he wants to do is a zune-a-zune-zune in a boom-boom.
    /Wrecks’n Effects

  • FreshCliches

    Give him a break. He got the Zune because of the bundled software that imports music from his Walkman cassettes.

  • Fivetree

    What’s next? He liked the New Coke instead of Coke Classic? He still watches VHS? He actually likes Brooks and Dunn? The scales are falling with a THUD.

  • azw88

    In the movie and TV biz, this is called product placement. Bill Gates cuts a big fat check every time Obama is is photoed with said Zune. A big, but not as fat, check is written every time the words Obama and Zune appear in the same paragraph.

    Opps, there goes another $10K to the Obama Inauguration fund!

  • obfuscator

    [re=190341]hedgehog[/re]: Their nuts are what? Furry?

  • Dave J.

    Obama is still psyched that Forrest Gump beat Pulp Fiction for the best picture Oscar that one year.

  • BigDupa

    Here’s the straight dope– the Zune has an FM receiver so Barry can catch all the wackiness that is “Fox and Friends” during his morning workouts. If he had an iPod, he’d have to read the transcript and Steve Ducey does not translate well to the written word.

  • JohnnyMac

    Actually, this brand choice does make sense if you consider that Bill Gates has given many millions of his dollars to help other people while Steve Jobs won’t spare a quarter for the Salvation Army bucket. I think that Wonkette should buy Barry a cheap MP3 player that has a strap loop so we can attach the most vital of all accessories: miniature TruckNutz.

  • MJ65

    Awww….I love my Zune.

    Damn it. I’m never going to be cool.

  • rockstarjoe

    I wonder what McCain uses? I guess no one cares anymore.

  • azw88

    [re=190353]Fivetree[/re]: No way Obama watches VHS! He is a BetaMax man to the core!

  • obfuscator

    [re=190372]rockstarjoe[/re]: He has Mark Salter follow him around with one of those hand cranked phonograph players.

  • ladymacbeth

    the insightful words of bon jovi work here: “we’re living in the broken home of hopes and dreams”.

  • gjdodger

    Obama: Wears Old Navy
    McCain: Is “Old Navy
    Obama: Likes Coldplay
    McCain: Hates foreplay (you cunt)
    Obama: Loved The DaVinci Code
    McCain: Told DaVinci to hold his paintbrush straighter

  • druranium

    He has macbooks and uses a zune?
    yeah I dont think so.
    http://www.9to5mac.com/barack-obama-mac-user

  • ToeCramps

    Oh no, Hopey!

  • thatonegirlsays

    And here I thought the only people who used Zunes were Microsoft employees.

  • WadISay

    Is he still smoking Virginia Slims, or did he switch to Lucky straights?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=190324]dano[/re]: I needed an MP3 player for biking and I hate Apple fans boys.

    This is why I never eat food. Too many Republicans get in my face about how great it is an all, and I hate Republicans. So it’s mostly just sand and rocks for me.

  • TGY

    He may be a dork, but he’s our beloved leader dork. Our Dork-in-Chief, as ’twere.

  • TGY

    …and to think he started out being a Dork Horse.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=190346]Godot[/re]: Really, that’s the only excuse for having a Zune.

    Zune = cheaper than iPod.

    And the one guy I know that has one, says it works (sorta). So what the hey?

  • azw88

    I think I know why Barak has a Zune, it was his response to a request from Bill Gates

    Obama, saving the economy one MP3 player at a time (which cuts out iPods, since they play MP4.)

  • Madeline

    He’s listening to the zune ironically!

  • CuntryFirst

    This is worse than picking Hillary, leaving on Gates, and saying he’s going to let the Bush tax cuts expire on their own.

  • sarahconnor

    wonder what Hopey thinks of Jar Jar…

  • Skwerl Nutz

    [re=190356]obfuscator[/re]: No mine are,
    btw it was the Philadelphia Sports Club, seems Gold’s Gym doesn’t allow a zune regardless if your prezdent elekt.

  • P.T.T.

    I bet he drives a Japanese car that goes Zune Zune Zune. I always new he was a square.

  • Big Al1317

    I have a Zune and I like it a lot. So fuck you.

  • trophy(forparticipation)wife

    Any chance he’s got a Magnavox Odyssey?

  • dano

    [re=190402]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Ha ha. I laugh at the Apple cult. Apple products (especially the computers) don’t do anything that other companies products don’t do…except cost more. So here’s to Apple, the symbol of our vanishing consumer culture!

  • problemwithcaring

    So no one is tripping over the THE USA Today thing…?

  • sk1win

    Hopey wears pleated pants with cuffs, a BlackBerry belt clip and sandals with jeans. He is smart to pimp the anti-establishment ‘change’ mp3 player to bolster his dork image. All of us cool people who like free music have one.

  • Slartibartfast

    [re=190414]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah if something works as well and provides every service you need it to, then being cheaper is a TERRIBLE reason to prefer one product over another. I compared my brother’s iPod to my Zune. In every important respect, they are the same device-they play music. That’s what I need. What I don’t need to do is be constantly reassuring myself that my player is the coolest and bestest because deep down inside I know that Steve Jobs has shafted me.

  • toastandlove

    Also: Barack Obama thinks “Speaker for the Dead” is better than “Ender’s Game”.

    Loser.

  • Godot

    [re=190392]druranium[/re]: Boot Camp, duh.

  • hobgoblin of little minds

    [re=190640]toastandlove[/re]: I’d put my money on “Children of the Mind” or “Ender’s Shadow”.

  • smellyal8r

    Also, I don’t think those are jeans he wears, they are denim pants. There’s a difference (a much worse difference). He ain’t no clothes horse. I imagine that if he marched off Obama One with an I-Pod and an Apple notebook (like the one I’m using right now) he’d have lost big time. The Simpsons had a great take on Apple (or Mapple, as they called it) Sunday night…

  • Kazoom

    [re=190356]obfuscator[/re]: I kissed a squirrel, and I liked it.

  • DangerousLiberal

    I voted for this guy; now I find out he’s into fucking Coldplay? Next thing we’ll find out is that he’s started his own emo band with Robert Gates or some crazy thing.

    According to http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/786, this band’s name will be Black Immaculate Romance. Emo, and family values!

  • Fivetree

    [re=190359]Dave J.[/re]: Oh I was going to say that but I wasn’t sure how far back people’s memories go when it comes to the Oscars.

  • Bitter-Elitist

    [re=190351]FreshCliches[/re]: [re=190365]JohnnyMac[/re]: [re=190363]BigDupa[/re]:

    Surely the real reason Hopey has a Zune is obvious – Bush has an iPod, similarly Bush has a PC so he has a Mac. He’s the Anti-Bush People!

  • druranium

    [re=190644]Godot[/re]: Who the fuck would run boot camp so they could use a zune with their mac? That just doesn’t sound like how barry would roll. I will stand corrected in the presence of any zune proof.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=190603]Slartibartfast[/re]: Actually, I like cheap. Cheap is good. (I drive a ’90 Camry, fer pete’s sake). My 8 gig iPod touch, for another example, was cheap – I got it for free when I bought a a new iMac this spring, to replace the iMac bought in 1999 and have been using every day since then.

    This is why I’m not convinced Apple products are necessarily more expensive than their competitors. I buy my stuff for the long haul, generally speaking.

  • lumpenprole

    Obama plays the Star Trek trailer over and over again while whispering “oh man!” to himself.

  • druranium

    [re=190729]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: i recognize a good pwn when i see one.

  • druranium

    [re=190592]sk1win[/re]: ha ha my iphone is loaded with pirated material. Oh damnit, At&t is now tapping my communications with immunity. whooops

  • Serolf Divad

    [re=190731]lumpenprole[/re]:
    Win

  • P.T.T.

    [re=190729]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: “My 8 gig iPod touch, for another example, was cheap – I got it for free when I bought a a new iMac this spring, to replace the iMac bought in 1999 and have been using every day since then.” Ditto, except my iMac was from 2000. And the Touch is an amazing gizmo.

  • LazloHollyfeld

    Additionally, I understand he was playing Altered Beats on Sega Genesis whilst being fellated by Larry Sinclair. What a queer. Everyone knows that real men play Call of Duty 4 in the OT-8.