No More Book Learning For You Hobos

Since it's the Depression and all, get ready for skyrocketing educational costs! State governments have no munnies for their public schools, and all the private schools wasted their endowments on AIG stock, so increased tuition costs get passed along to you, the consumer! And since there are no jobs waiting for you at the end of your fancy four-year degree anyway, why bother? Soon it will cost approx. 14 kajillion dollars to get your diploma from some middling liberal arts school, so that you can send literally two-thirds of your take-home pay to your student loan consolidator while you work behind the counter at Enterprise Rent-a-Car, a job you could have easily gotten with a high school diploma and half a brain.

The cost of college rose over 400 percent in the 25-year period from 1982 to 2007, while American incomes rose about 150 percent. Should this trend continue, we are all doomed to mortgage our worthless houses plus maybe a couple of our worthless children, maybe have them boiled down for copper or whatever, so that we can send our remaining kids to "college" because "trade schools" are shameful institutions where people learn actual skills. (To be fair, many trade schools are hella expensive as well.)

Either that, or nobody will go to college anymore except for extended members of the Bush family, while the rest of us revert to our feral, be-tusked state and roam the streets in savage packs looking for lawyers to consume.

 College May Become Unaffordable for Most in U.S. [New York Times]