Who better to promote a heart-warming comedy show than a man with a funereal demeanor and the beady, coal-black eyes of a dead shark? Nobody! Please watch Make ‘Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America, lest Jim Lehrer be forced to make your faucets run with blood while he sings to you, from the sewer, wearing a clown costume. [YouTube]
HORRIBLE MONSTERS
December 3, 2008
Jim Lehrer Tells Creepy Stories About Cannibals, For Laughs
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JEEBUS. This will put more people to sleep as much as Lurch Kerry running for President or something, which we luckily know will never happen. So there.
I think we’ve found the guy who’s gonna take over for John Stewart when he retires.
Jeez, any comedic momentum built up during the montage clip-segments will be sucked clean out of the joint whenever spookyface pops up to do some narration.
BTW: I first read that as “Cannabis.” I’d totally tune in to the News Hour to hear Lehrer regale his audiences with tales of all the manifold times he’s rolled a fattie and gotten high off his ass while cueing the VCR to the last 20 minutes of “2001 A Space Oddysey.”.
What’s next, PBS? Is Dick Cheney gonna guest on Sesame Street?
I, er… I… um…
… left speechless.
[re=189951]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: *then*
Not *as much as*, you horrible, horrible failure.
[re=189951]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: *than* not *then*. You are watching your life flush down the toilet via interwebs.
Wednesdays? As in plural, they’re gonna try this more than once?
[re=189957]Serolf Divad[/re]: yeah i totally got it wrong too
Pledge drive fare, of course. Better than those soft-focus lilting helldog Celtic Wymmyn what haunts me dreams.
OMG. Greatest freaking delivery evar. Better deadpan than Steven Wright, even.
“coal-black eyes of a dead shark” LOLOLZ
Reminds me – gotta get my Dad a copy of White Widow for Christmas. I’ve wanted to get him that for years. I probly will read it first. Also a bottle Becherovka.
[re=189962]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: DON’T read your own posts, Shorts read other peoplez, than* you won’t kick yerself…
beep beep Mr Lehrer
Jim Lehrer was for the Iraq invasion from the beginning, and antagonized the weapons inspectors in camera.
He is the biggest joke himself.
[re=189988]Mongo[/re]: You take that back! Jim Lehrer is the self-described most objective non-bias possessing person who has ever lived on the planet, ever. HOW DARE YOU.
Listen, it couldn’t be half as bad as Lewis Black uncovering the World’s Funniest Joke for the History Channel.
And no, it’s not The Aristocrats…
[re=189956]BarthexDeRosa[/re]: From the YouTube link, it looks like Billy Crystal is hosting and Amy Sedaris narrating. Lehrer just did this as a one-off, I don’t think he actually appears in the show.
On the strength of this triumph, Lehrer has signed to play Frank in a remake of “Once Upon a Time in the West.”
Well why else would you talk about cannibals but “for laughs?”
I didn’t get the James Joyce reference yesterday, but I am all over the Stephen King reference today. i r so proud.
So Jim Lehrer and Harry Reasoner walk into a bar.
They order drinks and nothing out of the ordinary happens.
That would explain why Jim Lehrer looks so fed up with people.
[re=189977]MathewBrooks[/re]: Like dolls eyes…
[re=190248]sanantonerose[/re]:
New, even creepier standard is button eyes, thanks to Neil Gaiman and “Coraline.”
[re=189978]nurple[/re]: Becherovka is the shit. Actually, drink a whole bottle of it like I did this summer in Praque, and it’ll give you the shitz.
I’ve always thought his eyes were pinkish brown, like a rabbit’s…
[re=190166]Heywood Floyd[/re]: Oh god. I love this.
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