horrible monsters

Jim Lehrer Tells Creepy Stories About Cannibals, For Laughs

Who better to promote a heart-warming comedy show than a man with a funereal demeanor and the beady, coal-black eyes of a dead shark? Nobody! Please watch Make ‘Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America, lest Jim Lehrer be forced to make your faucets run with blood while he sings to you, from the sewer, wearing a clown costume. [YouTube]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  1. shortsshortsshorts

    JEEBUS. This will put more people to sleep as much as Lurch Kerry running for President or something, which we luckily know will never happen. So there.

  2. BarthexDeRosa

    Jeez, any comedic momentum built up during the montage clip-segments will be sucked clean out of the joint whenever spookyface pops up to do some narration.

  3. Serolf Divad

    BTW: I first read that as “Cannabis.” I’d totally tune in to the News Hour to hear Lehrer regale his audiences with tales of all the manifold times he’s rolled a fattie and gotten high off his ass while cueing the VCR to the last 20 minutes of “2001 A Space Oddysey.”.

  4. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=189951]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: *then*
    Not *as much as*, you horrible, horrible failure.

  5. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=189951]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: *than* not *then*. You are watching your life flush down the toilet via interwebs.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    Pledge drive fare, of course. Better than those soft-focus lilting helldog Celtic Wymmyn what haunts me dreams.

  7. nurple

    Reminds me – gotta get my Dad a copy of White Widow for Christmas. I’ve wanted to get him that for years. I probly will read it first. Also a bottle Becherovka.

  8. freakishlystrong

    [re=189962]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: DON’T read your own posts, Shorts read other peoplez, than* you won’t kick yerself…

  9. Mongo

    Jim Lehrer was for the Iraq invasion from the beginning, and antagonized the weapons inspectors in camera.
    He is the biggest joke himself.

  10. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=189988]Mongo[/re]: You take that back! Jim Lehrer is the self-described most objective non-bias possessing person who has ever lived on the planet, ever. HOW DARE YOU.

  11. actor212

    Listen, it couldn’t be half as bad as Lewis Black uncovering the World’s Funniest Joke for the History Channel.

    And no, it’s not The Aristocrats…

  12. CrimsonColonial

    [re=189956]BarthexDeRosa[/re]: From the YouTube link, it looks like Billy Crystal is hosting and Amy Sedaris narrating. Lehrer just did this as a one-off, I don’t think he actually appears in the show.

  13. lawrenceofthedesert

    On the strength of this triumph, Lehrer has signed to play Frank in a remake of “Once Upon a Time in the West.”

  14. Min

    I didn’t get the James Joyce reference yesterday, but I am all over the Stephen King reference today. i r so proud.

  15. Heywood Floyd

    So Jim Lehrer and Harry Reasoner walk into a bar.

    They order drinks and nothing out of the ordinary happens.

  16. Tra


    New, even creepier standard is button eyes, thanks to Neil Gaiman and “Coraline.”

  17. bitchincamaro

    [re=189978]nurple[/re]: Becherovka is the shit. Actually, drink a whole bottle of it like I did this summer in Praque, and it’ll give you the shitz.

Comments are closed.