• May 26, 2012
THE LAST ELECTION

December 2, 2008

Actual Confederate Owner Of Slave Plantations Wins Georgia Runoff

by Jim Newell  

Ha ha, Jim Martin lost like a little gay baby, and now we know why Obama never campaigned in the state for him: his two-time Senate election losingness in the same election. “With 90 percent of the state’s precincts reporting in Tuesday’s runoff election, Mr. Chambliss had 59 percent of the vote, and his Democratic challenger, Jim Martin, had 41 percent.” So this means that 2008 wasn’t just a good year for Republicans, but the best year. Now we will go back to never posting about dumb Saxby Chambliss, but if we have to, we’ll always have the perfect boob-grabbing photo. [NYT]

{ 49 comments }

Keram2 December 2, 2008 at 10:19 pm

Judging from his grabbyness, I’m going to say we’re going to have great Cocktobers and Blowvembers in the future.

Internally valid December 2, 2008 at 10:20 pm

An old daughter-loving white man wins an election in Georgia. Historic!

Darehead December 2, 2008 at 10:21 pm

Soviets will do a re-invasion. This time, let them take it.

SwanSwanH December 2, 2008 at 10:23 pm

I say, I say, I say, that’s all, folks!

BillyClubb December 2, 2008 at 10:23 pm

Ugh, another child-molesting Republican just slipped into office. That poor little girl will probably grow up to be a stripper, crack whore, or at least a pill-popping zombie. Maybe when she gets old enough she’ll write a tell-all memoir about “Granddaddy cop-a-feel”.

slinkimalinki December 2, 2008 at 10:25 pm

[re=189581]Keram2[/re]: just wait for prepubruary

bitchincamaro December 2, 2008 at 10:34 pm

Is that the entire Shameless family?

mdotsota December 2, 2008 at 10:35 pm

Hooray, Corporal Tit Clown!

WagTehGod December 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

So was it the nation that just got felt up by Chambliss, or just Martin?

Neon Trotsky December 2, 2008 at 10:52 pm

But American Georgia is not alone in electing creepy old pedophile-esque men. Next-to-but-doesn’t-like-Russia Georgia elected this character–aka Zviad Gamsakhurdia–who, in a statement likely popular in our Georgia, suggested once that mixed marriages “threaten the purity of the Georgian race”…

Canmon (the Inadequate) December 2, 2008 at 11:01 pm

Good, somebody need to keep the amputee veterans in their place.

FreshCliches December 2, 2008 at 11:08 pm

[re=189585]BillyClubb[/re]: If the stripping gig doesn’t work out, there’s always room for another waitress at The Waffle House. It’s Georgia, after all.

norbizness December 2, 2008 at 11:14 pm

You can go ahead and secede again if you want, Georgia.

Neon Trotsky December 2, 2008 at 11:16 pm

[re=189604]FreshCliches[/re]: Or The Waffle House’s mentally handicapped half-sibling, The Huddle House…

psychedelicSludge December 2, 2008 at 11:21 pm

Ah Mr. Chambliss, looks like your sax are not so light today. Great guns! Bless you.

psychedelicSludge December 2, 2008 at 11:23 pm

lolsax: I iznt gropin it. I iz holdin it fer yu.

pashnsmash December 2, 2008 at 11:29 pm

Guess Jim Martin didn’t lock up the hippie america-hating commies of Athens well enough….

RobPetrified December 2, 2008 at 11:37 pm

NEWS FLASH!!!!
Redneck state elects redneck!
I’m SO surprised.
Yawn.

WadISay December 3, 2008 at 12:02 am

Time for Plan B: dangle fawn-like Senate pages in front of him.

gambypants December 3, 2008 at 12:09 am

I give Saxby Chambliss one year until some little girl named Myspacia comes out and claims she is carrying his baby.

http://www.charlietueats.com

Subdude December 3, 2008 at 12:18 am

why is the gropee’s momee protecting her pussee while sitting next to sexbee?

Tyrone Biggums December 3, 2008 at 12:54 am

Folks go to prison when they touch the youngns like that there.

Dirty ol’ cracka.

Lascauxcaveman December 3, 2008 at 1:37 am

[re=189585]BillyClubb[/re]: But b’ Golly, she’s gonna grow up to be the best stripper, crack whore, or at least a pill-popping zombie you’ll ever find in the Great State Of Jah-Jah.

Jah-jah needs gals like this.

Hooray For Anything December 3, 2008 at 1:55 am

It’s good to know that even a month after the Presidential election, that given the choice between joining the rest of the country in making a bold, progressive and historic step forward in some of the most challenging times this country has faced, Georgia still says screw it.

Mojopo December 3, 2008 at 2:16 am

Commentators are coming dangerously close to blaming black people again. Why don’t they ever blame ignorant people for casting a vote the wrong way?

I’m so over boiled peanuts, ya’all.

Lascauxcaveman December 3, 2008 at 2:28 am

[re=189638]Hooray For Anything[/re]:
Georgia State Fruit: Peach
Georgia State Flower: Magnolia
Georgia State Snack Food: Cracker
Georgia State Motto: “Screw It.”

[re=189641]Mojopo[/re]: What’s it going to take to get a Black person in Georgia to vote for Jim Martin? Hell if I know. Barry doesn’t either; and I assume he’s hella smarter than me.

Capitol Hillbilly December 3, 2008 at 3:21 am

Sissy Saxby had it in the bag as soon as Sarah Palin brought him a pair of magic silk panties.

Pizzuti December 3, 2008 at 3:54 am

The thing I love most about these political families is that you can’t tell which is the wife and which is the daughter.

Vanity Smurf December 3, 2008 at 5:00 am

There ain’t nuthin’ more powerful than the smell of mendacity!

Numbat Dundee December 3, 2008 at 5:27 am

In Australia it’s just 9.30pm and I went to put the garbage out 15 minutes ago. I notice something strange in the sky – we have the sad face tonight. It must be for Saxby.

mumrock December 3, 2008 at 5:47 am

I’m not familiar with the dirt in the Saxby Chambliss saga…up here in Minnesota we’re still talking about Larry Craig. Can anyone find a better last line to this stanza:

That’s the night that the lights went out in Georgia
That’s the night that they hung a Democrat man
Well don’t trust your soul to no backwoods Saxby Chambliss
‘Cause the judge in the town has ballots in his hand…

Simony December 3, 2008 at 6:37 am

We still love you, Atlanta. (Among the most pleasant visits I’ve ever…)

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=156745&title=hail-atlanta

friendlyskies December 3, 2008 at 7:34 am

I like how Drudge is pitching this as “the Republicans strike back.” Poor guy doesn’t realize that the election was just in Georgia, a conservative Republican state, as opposed to the greater USA? It would be like a Democrat winning in Massachusetts and Drudge saying it was a fearsome blow for US liberals.

bitchincamaro December 3, 2008 at 7:45 am
bitchincamaro December 3, 2008 at 8:02 am

[re=189664]bitchincamaro[/re]: @ 1:11 in.

Simony December 3, 2008 at 8:43 am

[re=189664]bitchincamaro[/re]: AHhahaha!

gurukalehuru December 3, 2008 at 9:03 am

Maybe I’m a tad slow here, but doesn’t this mean we can tell Lieberman to fuck off, after all?

Simony December 3, 2008 at 9:30 am

[re=189675]gurukalehuru[/re]: Yes, indeedy.

http://lieberman.senate.gov/newsroom/release.cfm?id=208001&&

proudcitizen December 3, 2008 at 9:33 am

Ah, what a relief! The few peckerwoods that came out to vote have made Georgia safe for the triple-K for another 100 years.

qwerty42 December 3, 2008 at 10:27 am

[re=189611]pashnsmash[/re]: Nah, the Bolshies in Athens came through:
Saxby Martin
CLARKE 9,319 14,982 24,301

Based on the info (still incomplete) at the GA Sec of State, Martin looks to have carried the cities (Atlanta, Augusta, Savannah, etc) but lost most of the suburban counties and and a number of the rural ones.

Carrie_Okie December 3, 2008 at 11:02 am

Georgia; all cracker, no snack.

Kev-O-Tron December 3, 2008 at 11:27 am

A fitting caption for that photo might be:

Thanks for the mammaries

qwerty42 December 3, 2008 at 11:47 am

From Ed Kilgore.

Mustang December 3, 2008 at 11:59 am

There are 4 males and 4 females in this picture, and we can assume no one is gay or divorced or anything because they are Christian Americans, so that means it’s okay that Senator Chambliss has his hand on that little girl’s chest, because that’s HIS WIFE! And the bleachy blonde lady has herself a little boy toy, but she’s too genteel to maul him in public.

Simony December 3, 2008 at 12:00 pm

[re=189816]qwerty42[/re]: [...]“his margins declined significantly: by 77,000 in Dekalb and by 62,000 in Fulton.”

Surprising and depressing.

qwerty42 December 3, 2008 at 12:07 pm

I agree, he needed a huge margin in DeKalb, but turnout was lower.

tiger December 3, 2008 at 12:37 pm

Once again, the South embarrasses itself effortlessly…

Simony December 3, 2008 at 5:02 pm

[re=189660]mumrock[/re]: “Fuck you, Judge.” is hard to beat for last lines.

hansdog December 3, 2008 at 8:00 pm

So if you ever meet this Saxby, call him Clarence cause that’s his first name.
Then reach out your right hand to shake, and when he reaches out to you, quickly take back your hand and brush back your hair (do this even if you don’t have any hair).
Then cover your mouth and fake-cough “ass-hole”.

Yeah. This will happen some day, I hope you remember what I told you.

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