Mel Martinez Latest Republican To Give Up

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¿quién?Forgotten Florida Republican Senator Mel Martinez announced his retirement today, two years early, and nobody really cares. Martinez is a Cuban alien who somehow got to Florida and became mayor of some town, in Florida, so George Bush Junior made him the HUD secretary, so Martinez caused the housing collapse probably, and then he ran for the Senate and won, we guess, because he’s a senator now, but only for two more years.

He also ran the entire Republican Party political operation, briefly, after the 2006 whupping, and failed at that, too.

He is also unpopular, when people think about him at all, and he’s a Republican so of course he cannot get any fundraising moneys, because nobody wants to back a loser.

Here is how the people of Florida reacted, on the Miami Herald website:

  • What did this man actually accomplish besides being a Bush loyalist? He was a miserable RNC chair and only proved his incompetence as a Republican Party leader. His legislative effectiveness never rose above below average in the Senate. The best that can be said about his senatorial career is “forgettable.”
  • Good riddance.
  • He has been a disappointement. Even letters I have written to his office have had Rove-like irrational messages.
  • Good riddance.
  • Best news of the day.
  • Good riddance.
  • Adios, cucaracha!

Mel Martinez won’t seek Senate reelection [Miami Herald]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • qwerty42

    where’s the love?

  • SayItWithWookies

    So judging by the comments, he elected himself? Is it Floridians or Republicans who are more into personal responsibility?

  • Doglessliberal

    If you are going to post something, why would you merely repeat “Good riddance” when two other posters have already said this? High on the Mel disapproval, low on the creativity, these folks.

  • Heywood Floyd

    “He has been a disappointement. Even letters I have written to his office have had Rove-like irrational messages.”

    Dear Mr. Martinzez,

    I herd ur teh ghey?

    Mr. Rove

  • V572625694

    Maybe the excessive influence on American politics of former whorehouse owners from Havana is finally at an end.

  • gurukalehuru

    Spending more time with the family?

  • bitchincamaro

    Isn’t he one of the Repub asswipes that got all hot and bothered about Terry Shiavo? If so, good riddance.

  • robanybody


  • Ken Layne

    [re=189271]Doglessliberal[/re]: I sort of loved that the immediate reaction of many people was just a kind of disgusted “good riddance,” as if all of Florida could give a shit about the guy, but still dislikes him.

  • Juan McMaverick

    “Martinez is a Cuban alien who somehow got to Florida”

    Between the Messicans & the Cubano’s, the southern border
    get’s penetrated almost as much as them Palin whores.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …as a South Floridian I would like to say the following to Mel Martinez: “Chupa mi juevos peludo!”

  • wheelie

    [re=189273]Heywood Floyd[/re]: I’m stuck on the phrase, “Even letters I have written to his office have had Rove-like irrational messages.” I can’t get beyond it; I just read it over and over, trying to grasp it.

  • freakishlystrong

    asshat ver ya!

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=189288]Ken Layne[/re]: Good point. Sort of a collective, “meh, don’t let the door hit you on the way out, jerko”.

  • Monsieur Grumpe&#39

    Now it’s off to the lobbyist farm for Mel where he will be forced to make millions of dollars convincing his ex colleges to slip in earmarks for some rice and bean research grants.

  • IslandGirlFL

    Even the repubs hate him. I’m renting a republican friends house in DC for the inaug, who is also from Florida. He’s SO over Mel. It’s so funny, the repubs are FROTHING at the mouth to purge the party of moderates. WHich Mel is. He was a TRIAL LAWYER, for Jeebus’ sake.

  • hedgehog

    No worries, these candidates keep washing up on shore in milk crates.

  • 4tehlulz

    [re=189292]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Is that Cubish for “Choke on cock.”? Because it should be.

  • actor212

    Martinez was merely the victim of the soft bigotry of low expectations.

  • qwerty42

    [re=189309]IslandGirlFL[/re]: purge the party of moderates? so the firing squad is forming?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=189315]4tehlulz[/re]: …TRANSLATION: Suck on my hairy balls!

  • Borat

    yes, Charlie Crist can get on the national stage now and move to the gayz friendly DC with his soon-to-be divorced fiancee.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I did think it was refreshing that Martinez gave such a truthful answer when he stated that he was retiring so that, as a Florida Republican, he could spend more time at the local restroom.

  • shanemcgowan

    [re=189293]wheelie[/re]: I thought it was just me.

  • TGY

    Perhaps he needs to find something new to fail.

  • Borat

    We are looking into the abyss people. Can we start deconstrucing the party into lots of little pieces. Hey if the ANC is spitting up in South Africa, then why not the GOP. They both go for 3-letter abbreviated names

  • wickedlittledoll

    ha ha another GOP job well done!

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=189278]V572625694[/re]: One can only hope.

  • obfuscator

    Poor Mel-Mart. Now the GOP faithful gets to blame YET ANOTHER dirty hispanic for its shortcomings.

  • nurple

    I loved him in Walk Hard, and The Good Girl.

  • obfuscator

    [re=189364]nurple[/re]: Exactly, with a little Tim Robbins thrown in.

  • Maus

    [re=189266]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “So judging by the comments, he elected himself?”

    That’s essentially how it goes with Miami elections. That, and screwing over Overtown for laughs.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Horse shit! He’s being put out to pasture where Kitty now rides her horses.
    Those two can talk about the good ol’ days when the GOP was a loose cannon up on deck.

  • Maus

    [re=189362]obfuscator[/re]: I’m going to laugh so hard when the Alpha 66 wannabes in Miami-Dade stop getting money and fellatio from national republicans. Maybe one day they will be forced to stop funneling their cash and local resources into developer-friends and embezzlement and some industry will thrive that competes with the insane housing prices. I guess then I’ll be able to afford to retire back where I grew up.

  • nurple

    Monsieur Grumpe:

    -finally maybe they can do something about those terror-loving morisco beans.

  • Neon Trotsky

    [re=189362]obfuscator[/re]: But he was the perfect Republican type of Hispanic: a Cuban boy who fled the Reds to be raised by white evangelical Christians! I don’t think they can find one better than that…

  • CollegeStudent

    [re=189271]Doglessliberal[/re]: If you are going to post something, why would you merely repeat “Good riddance” when two other posters have already said this? High on the Mel disapproval, low on the creativity, these folks.

    Oh wait, did someone already say that?

  • TJBeck

    OK, let’s rank all the famous people named Mel:

    1. Blanc
    2. Brooks
    3. Gibson
    4. Tormé
    5. Martinez

    Yep, definitely last.

  • Itsjustme

    Holy Poop, somebody actually said cucaracha?

  • S.Luggo

    [re=189309]IslandGirlFL[/re]: Melquíades Martínez is a moderate? Mel don’t like the gay homosexuals, don’t believe in embryo or fetus-purging (even in the case of rape or incest), and supports our Iraquistani Adventure and just everything El Presidente says.

    [re=189284]bitchincamaro[/re]: Mel-mel co-sponsored the Republican “Save that poor brain-dead woman” legislation in the Senate. In doing so, he was probably projecting.

  • Maus

    [re=189271]Doglessliberal[/re]: You’re assuming that it could be said enough.

  • Guppy06

    So, will Kitty Harris and Charlie Crist have a cat fight over the seat?

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=189422]TJBeck[/re]: don’t forget Melly Mel.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=189287]robanybody[/re]: The only Cuban Thompson would ever play second fiddle to is Andy Garcia. He’s from the REAL Amurrica, doncha know.

  • Mr. Spanky

    [re=189435]Guppy06[/re]: Don’t you know that Charlie is getting married next week and Kitty will be his “best girl”?

    On the local NPR channel today, they were hinting that Mel might have to resign early.

    There is the distinct odor of nastiness when a major politician says he wants to quit “to spend more time with my family”!

  • donner_froh

    [re=189293]wheelie[/re]: The very act of sitting at the computer to write a letter/email to Martinez turns one’s prose into doublespeak.

    [re=189422]TJBeck[/re]: Mel B (spice girl)

  • norbizness

    Time for Jeb “Adult Butt-head” Bush to grab the limelight! Huh-huh… AC/DC Rules!

  • villageatrois

    [re=189422]TJBeck[/re]: ranking Mels:

    6. Amine
    7. ‘tdown
    8. apropism
    9. otone
    10. ifluous
    11. arrill
    12. ba toast

  • Scaggsvillain

    Anyone else smell a Mark Foley comeback? Awwww yeah!

    13. anoma

  • Mongo

    After landing dry-footed in our shores, the bastard decided that the buck stopped at him, and flip-flopped his stance on immigration.
    Oh, how much we Messicans hate Mel Martínez!

  • sezme

    [re=189422]TJBeck[/re]: Mel, the fictional character from Mel’s Diner in the 70’s sitcom ‘Alice’. He ranks higher than Mel Martinez does.