Wonkette
We want to do a special Tuesday Afternoon Sponsor Shouting Out, because jesus h. christ on a Bloomberg ticker, these are not really great financial times, and we are as happy as Hank Paulson on a birdwatching trip to see so many ads here, today, and we encourage you to look at them, buy some cheap Xmas-Hanukkah-Kwanzaa presents, play the little Eco-Driving game, etc. So let’s be thankful for Poli-Temps, EcoDrivingUSA, The Charlemagne Pursuit, the Prince 21 Nights book and CD, Taegan Goddard’s Political Wire, BarackShirts.com, SendBushPacking.com, House of Ghosts, LittleDemocrats.net, Microsoft Live Search and our awesome buddies at BlogAds. Want to shake down Wonkette’s readers for whatever money they’ve got left? Click here!
Every time I feel a chance to finally get an ad up on Wonkette, I get arrested in Eastern California. What the hell.
I will give credit to CA for knowing their ad viewers with their banner ad designs.
…I’m buying whatever the girl in the photo is selling!
I’m totally going to buy these Opal truck nutz as a Christmas present for Ken Layne:
http://www.bidz.com/bzJApp/ProductDisplay.action?sid=100&tid=100&auctionId=30859896
shortsshortsshorts: Oh, so THAT’S what you’re doing, huh?
I just tanked the Wonkette ecodriving score–I started the little green car and ran off the road at the first turn.
Lost American Apparel, though. I suppose mercy exists, after all.
donner_froh: Yeah I have savagely crashed & failed that little eco-car. Score: 0.
i’d like the ecodriving game better if that little eco-nazi voice over would quit yelling at me for driving too fast…
my advice: add guns to the cars…give extra points for maiming pedestrians..
tunamelt: Yes. It was hell.
Eco Driving USA is a way of getting us to subliminally accept instruction when all of our cars are connected to the State Database. Resist we must!
I scored Zero too, but that’s because I was driving on the wrong side of the road most of the time. My bad.
I’m just waiting for Ken to start fronting ads like radio talk show hosts do:
“Hi, this is Ken and I’d like to talk to you about Gold. Have you ever thought of adding it to your portfolio? I have some in mine, and boy it sure does offer peace of mind to know that even if the birds fly and the bombs drop tomorrow, I won’t be completely wiped out financially. In a post apocalyptic nightmare world I’ll still be able to buy a month’s supply of canned goods and ammunition from the local warlord by slipping him a shiny South African Krugerrand. So why not call up the folks at Minuteman Investments and add some gold to your holdings.”
all teh rest can piss off but i save all my fury for applefuckbees. in fact i think im gouing to one right now and take out my dick and lay it on the bar, and dare somebody to say something.
donner_froh: that thing is impossible! Maybe my keys are screwy, (I know, blame the machine) but I have never sucked so badly at a game.
Oh Paulson Bunyon, you old so-and-so!
“I love …” he says sadly, his voice trailing off. “Snakes?” I ask. “Yes,” he replies matter-of-factly. “I like to hold them and look at them.”
Wendy, his wife of 34 years, can immediately tell that Paulson has had a reptile experience. “He had that snake look in his eyes,” she says.
Maybe Hank and Hillary can bond over some worm fiddling.
Ken Layne: ok, good, so we all suck.
I make my Wonkette-related purchases by selling blood and semen, but I’d like to eliminate the middleman, so which of these advertisers will take my payment directly?
Ken Layne: I crashed it after racing down the wrong lane. maybe it should explode.
I’m at work and my computer has a kickazz ad blocker. I don’t get to play the fun driving games or check out the AA hotties. Thanks to the rest of you though.
I’m SO buying that Prince Book/DVD/Masturbatorium!
Also why is Prince advertising on Our Wonkette? Does he read Our Wonkette? If so, Prince: CALL ME!
It took me at least 20 tries before I realized I could inflate my tires and take all that crap out of the trunk. Is this because I have sound turned off? I hope so.
MattW: whoa!!!! who knew!?
I’m not allowed to buy shit at work; my Nazi secretary will whip my naked ass.
*looking for credit card*
So, Vampirella magazine from the 70s is one of Wonkette’s advertisers?
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=vampirella&gbv=2
Remember to use AdBlock everyone! It prevents Wonkette from making money! And that is a good thing, after all. No one should be paid to blog.
“Wonkette.com is a top 5,000 site and No. 63 Technorati blog that reaches over 1 million monthly unique visitors, 88% of which are in the U.S. The site is wildly popular among a mostly male, very affluent and well educated adult crowd. The typical visitor reads Gawker and subscribes to the Economist and Vanity Fair.”
-they also subscribe to International Security, SAIS Review, and Sweets.
nurple: as a female who subscribes to the New Yorker, US WEEKLY, and Runner’s World, and loves teh Wonkette, I am happy to confound their stats.
nurple: MAD magazine and Buttsecks Monthly, too
nurple: P.S. All the “very affluent” males in da house, holla at your girl! *wink wink*
I, too, confound those stats. List me under “unemployed lazy sloth that doesn’t subscribe to magazines and prefers hardcore internet porn as a way to pass time”.
donner_froh: I really think ecodriving is fixed, but I can’t turn away from it. I’ve never gotten above a Zero. Then again, I wouldn’t pass a brethalizer or drug test right now. What’s the carbon footprint of a hooka?
nurple: LOL, @ affluent. I’m a poor female who is barely educated.
Ken, I still think some product placements would help you. Blingee! is the ideal tool for inserting a box of Trojans next to Peggy Noonan for instance. (then click-though to the Trojan ad or the WSJ, doesn’t really matter)
Deepthroat: my favorite is Modern Communism.
I for one welcome our mediawhore overlords.
And I, in the past, have subscribed to Mother Jones, Fantasy and Science Fiction, New Yorker, New Republic, Wired, Spy, Penthouse, and Consumer Reports. Put that in your demographic computer and watch it explode.
nurple: You forgot Juggs.
nurple:
…and “Barely Legal” as well as “Over 50.”
what the fuck is vanity fair? and do i now have to read gawker too? and when does the affluent roll in? i sure could use it now as i work on the “well educated” piece.
seriously i need someone to talk to me about the affluent bit.
I would be affluent, if I sold off all my back issues of Posh Wives and Dude.
Mebe they meant effluent -
Why do all “hot girl” cartoons look like they are constipated?
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it I am just wondering if this is a new fetish I should sign up for.
Does “affluent” mean “gay”?
I’ve been clicking on the sexy ad all afternoon and nothing happens.
Oh, well, I’ll just keep trying. And trying, faster.
hansdog: You *do* realize, do you not, that the sexy ad(d) is a blingee self-portrait of Ken, who waxed and put on the pushup and wig and boots because no sacrifice is too much for us, his favorite pack of ingrates? Do the right thing and click on Mama Voted for Obama just once, or go eco-driving or something to restore some small measure of self-respect.