Wonkette
The important white-rights website called V-DARE continues to work hard on the most important story of our time, which is impotently freaking out about Barack Obama’s birth certificate, from when he was born, because what if he is actually an illegal alien born in Africa and secretly mailed to Hawaii (?) by Indonesian half-breed muslins to, er, make sinister anti-American foreign policy decisions through, uhh, George Bush Junior’s head of defense? Come on, think about it!
The problem, for these people, is that it’s no longer socially acceptable — even in wingnut internet and talk-radio circles — to go around yelling AH MAH GAWD A NIGRA’S PREZIDENT. So they instead come up with some insane plot that goes back to Barack Obama’s birth, 47 years ago, when the very patient African-Muslim Terrorist Organization of Socialism (AMTOOS) secretly took over not only the hospital in Hawaii where Obama was supposedly born, but also the Honolulu Advertiser newspaper, which fraudulently published “news” of Obama’s “birth” in the “birth announcements” section in August 1961.
People often engage in fraud in their attempts to gain a U. S. passport. These schemes are uncovered by small errors.
For example, Obama’s father would not have been referred to as “African” in 1961 but would have been identified as “Negro”. The “n” of “Negro would have been in lower case, not capitalized.
Obama himself would have been identified as “mulatto”, and if he had been born out of wedlock as “illegitimate” or “bastard”, depending on the state he was born in.
That settles it! The Supreme Court must deport Barack Obama back to Africa, if that country’s leader will accept a mulatto.
Also: “This matter is poetic justice for John McCain. His support of illegal immigration has indirectly resulted in an alien outlaw defeating him and becoming U.S. president.”
A Washington State Passport Expert Says Barack Obama Is An Illegal Alien [VDARE]
Can you mail Trucknutz the same way you mail fruitcakes, all gussied up in those pretty tins with bows?
This is even more retarded when one considers that McCain’s eligibility was at best a legally gray area.
Walnuts was born in Panama, so we should deport him to Africa as well.
1961, or 1861?
I NEW ITt!!!1!!1!
Breathtaking in their stupidity. But then aren’t they?
Personally, I always trust websites that look like they’re from 1995. HTML baby!
…who would have figured that the terrorist would have a Delorean and Flux Capicitor?!
It is more palatable he’s an Alien than “OMG PEOPLE, he’s a fucking ” DING “er!”
Fucking Bo-tards.
Bejeezus can’t somebody just BOMB these assholes already?
Guppy06: Yeah I thought Gangs of New York was a period piece, but I think Bill the Butcher now runs Newsmax?
That V-Dare douche is a know nothing. As a former resident of Honolulu I can say that his birth certificate would have listed his race as “papolo” or “da kine”.
And how many Panamanian balboas did McCain cough up to have his scary non-U.S. citizenship covered up?
Jesus, people, get a fucking life. That black one is president. Get used to it.
“My wife currently works for the U.S. Postal Service and I am retired from it. In her position, my wife has processed thousands of U.S. passports.”
Wow, when did the USPS become part of the Department of State?
I know a guy that works at a gas station, so can I start calling myself an expert on the automotive industry?
Actually, Obama’s even HOTTER with that thing on his head…
I have it on good authority, from the lovely little woman who cleans my pets, that Hussein Obama spent most of the 1990s running a roadside tapioca-and-yam stall in his native Sumatra.
Yet this fact was not properly aired by the socialist media that dominate the USA. I wrote to Andy Rooney, asking him to address it, and all he did was have a stroke.
Guppy06:
Cliff Claven?
“For example, Obama’s father would not have been referred to as “African” in 1961 but would have been identified as ‘Negro’. The ‘n’ of “Negro would have been in lower case, not capitalized. Obama himself would have been identified as “mulatto…”
The writer has obviously never been to Hawaii, seen it on teevee, or even heard very much about it. Everbody’s a “mulatto” in Hawaii.
Thanks goodness these vigilant protectors of our Constitution are on the case.
Also, he’s only three-fifths Preznident.
This time-traveling Manchurian Candidate will be the downfall of our Grand Republic!
John McCain supported illegal immigration in 1961? Then the bastard deserved getting his ass kicked.
Will this Postal Worker become disgruntled? What will happen when he runs out of Matlock reruns?
Kev-O-Tron: No check box for “haole?”
Guppy06: Employment by the USPS is an absolute guarantee of credibility, except when you get your neighbor’s mail in your box. Actually you can apply for a passport at many post offices.
Uncle Ruckus was right.
We won’t use the dreaded “S.N.D.” label in a Ken Layne post, but seriously - isn’t this about as relevant as the latest Larry Sinclair posting?
Less “Their all picking on Barry” and more “Barney Frank gives buttsecks to Automakers - and this time Barney’s the top” please.
tiger: Everybody looks better with a cheetah ass on his head. Or something. Probably not.
V572625694: Yeah, you can fill out the paperwork and you can get your picture taken, but the only processing they do is delivering the paperwork to the passport office and then delivering the passport to you.
In that respect, the Postal Service’s OCR machines “process” far more passports than this guy and his wife combined. Perhaps we should ask it for its opinion on all this.
V-DARE to be idiots, and so can you!
I LOVE THOSE COMMENTS:
I think you are right on the Indonesian citizenship and adoption. Obama was likely adopted in Indonesia legally. I bet there is no legal basis in Indonesia at that time for an adoption in which the adopted child is not a citizen of Indonesian. Countries have adoption for the purpose of their citizens adopting a child to be a citizen of that country. Adopting a child for the purpose of that child going to some other country is not the case that lawmakers are thinking of when they write adoption laws.
Finally a man who makes Strom Thurmond look like a moderate jackass, and not a complete fuckhead.
Gawd bless ‘merica.
He’s articulate for a Halfrican.
WIDTAP: You forgot the tagline “Eight Years of This.” It’s actually quite relevant, because during Clinton there were these nutjobs swearing they had proof that Hillary personally strangled Vince Foster, the gubment was going to put bar codes in our foreheads, etc. etc. You never had LaRouche nuts passing out flyers on your campus?
Ken Layne needs to document the antics of nutjobistan while the 3/5 President is in Power. I demand to stay informed, and I don’t have time to browse Newsmax all day long. (And Ken’s writings are going into the Library of Congress archives, after all).
If you’re very, very quiet, you can actually hear their brain cells die.
…you what would kick ass?
…if 12 years from now after Barack Obama has fixed the economy, established energy independence and eviscerated Al Queda; it comes out he really is Muslim and was born in Africa! It would make these shitheads last remaining brain cells melt!
WIDTAP: No, this is a very important story and you are trying to cover it up because of your filthy liberal agenda. AOL commenters told me all about it.
Damn, I wish I would have had this information before I voted for someone who isn’t even a citizen. I feel so foolish, so used, so… Wait a minute. I’m going into one of those Zen like trances again…I feel funny… I… I… I MUST DO AS OBAMA SAYS. I MUST DO AS OBAMA SAYS.
On another web forum I got called a “bogguss moran” for not believing that Obama is a “RADICAL MUSLIM APPEASER” who will help these people “SLIT OUR THROATS.”
I simply cannot understand why these people are not having more luck getting their urgent warning out to the American people. It’s clear they know something about Obama we just don’t. We must be total Morans.
John McCain was not born in the United States. He was born prior to the ratification of the US Constitution.
Folks really need to check out http://www.obamacrimes.com — especially the comment forum. I’ve been reading it daily since before the election. It is absolutely *awesome* to see how a conspiracy theory grows and metastasizes in real time. Seriously, check it out if you want to be amused and sickened at the same time.
i , for one, welcome our new 3/5s machiatto president of Trucknutzistan.
Why can’t wingnutz design websitez?
As members of the Halfrican nation, I and The President would like to pre-emptively thank all the white people for their guns.
kernelPanic: I think someone needs to investigate their little fundraising scheme.
The real question is; Who is really behind the Obama birth certificate cover up? The leading candidates are:
1. The Illuminati
2. The Bilderberger Group
3. The Council on Foreign Relations
3. The Trilateral Commission
4. S.P.E.C.T.R.E.
5. The Lollipop Guild
freakishlystrong: You have to understand, that website was made on an Apple II, which has never gone out of style for REAL traditionalists.
It should also be noted that the main source of transportation for VDARE writers is either by wagon or steamship.
For the past 8 years we’ve had stories about WT7 and the ’splosions in the towers. Now we have our official new 21st century conspiracies.
I love conspiracy-porn sites…they’re all so pre-election/pre-market crash retro…makes me think of those wonderful days when I used to eat lunch..
at present, I’m reduced to considering whether it’s worth $5 to hear Rudy Giuliani give advice on how to succeed…
http://www.statesman.com/business/content/business/stories/other/12/02/1202getmotivated.html
I can’t decide if I should be sad or enraged by this stuff. I guess I’ll just react with an ambiguous, disapproving shaking of my head from side to side.
freakishlystrong: Why can’t wingnutz design websitez?
Because the only software they possess is a bootleg copy of Frontpage 98
kernelPanic: Conspiracies are like fables which are often a response to power structures and deal with archetypes and societal conceptions. In some traditions they are called the bible or sorcery or lies. Either way, it’s good to see that human nature is no different here as it is from the tribesman battling wizard lions in parts of Africa. Everyone’s chasing ghosts it seems.
dano: something tells me the VDARE people will suspect the Elders of Zion.
dano: frontpage 98. that takes me back.
Chuckie Jesus: Same here. Halfrican tribe FTW.
Clearly the lizard people are up to this: http://www.rense.com/general56/liz.htm
robanybody: I wish they still made fecalgrams. These are the occasions that really call for one.
http://web.archive.org/web/20060715102307/fecalgram.com/site/main?s=cb4ce1dc92f5445de302675382afaa76&h=7992c450340b11914000975b60e775f3
kernelPanic: oh gawd, the horror. from the V-Dare site:
“…As Barack Obama races to appoint his Cabinet, rumors surrounding his eligibility to be President continue to swirl…” (ital added)
What color is the sky in their world? Did the Confederacy win the civil war? Do these delusional people imagine that anyone but nuts are following their pathetic “heroic struggle” against the … well, whatever it is they imagine they are struggling against? I mean, JFC, the weird fear and paranoia that animates them produces a sort of Frankenstein lurching about. Say … do you suppose Hillary had Barry kill Vince Foster?
V-DARE is only available through your doctor. Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, confusion, sleeplessness, and fatigue. Do not use V-DARE if you value reading skills or hearing. In rare instances, violent flatulence has been reported in combination with a decrease in semen, especially in females. Your doctor can give you a $5.00 coupon off your first month’s supply, or he may instead to violently strike you in the nose area. In either case, V-DARE is not generally well accepted in patients possessing sentience, dentition, or wakefulness.
My favorite is the Australian requesting, no, demanding that V-DARE investigate! This staunch and intrepid fount of journalism is the only one with the trucknutz to get at the TRUTH(TM)!
He’s an alien outlaw
Part Cherokee and Choctaw
His baby, she’s a Chippewa
She’s a one of a kind
Everybody sing along!
shortsshortsshorts: Or maybe their racism propels them…
qwerty42: The color of the sky is Freeper Red…
NoWireHangers: Who says ‘that shit don’t fly?’ Interesting, the company’s in the crapper, but you still have the link… Maybe Congress would consider you for a low-cost startup loan.
So their argument boils down to “the government is perfect, it never makes mistakes or is inconsistent in its paperwork, no matter how minor”?
shanemcgowan: But wait - that means he’s grandfathered in…
The bite of the Mulatto is extremely poisonous. If bitten, you have only a matter of hours to find a Khan-ut-tu and persuade her to administer the Mako root. Beware, for if she cures you, you will be under her spell, and you may not refuse her.
dano: …you left out “The He-Man Woman Haters Club”!!!
They’ve been flogging this story like crazy over at world net daily for weeks now. One day I will mercifully go blind or be delivered of the compulsion to read that site. That or Jerome Corsi will try to sneak back into Kenya to uncover more “facts” and will be publicly executed.
qwerty42: Vince Foster is still alive and he is muslin.
The Tragic MooLatte
Couldn’t Dairy Queen find something else to call its new drink?
http://www.slate.com/id/2103845/
shortsshortsshorts: Thus since Hopey was born in Africa (what’s the capital please?)we should deport him to Panama
The Sheriff’s a ni…
Jukesgrrl: Ha! that is just the sort of Marxist Fascist stuff the librul MSM won’t tell you. help us, v-dare, you’re our only hope.
Of course, over at http://www.obamacrimes.com (thks kernelPanic i think) they have rumors the Supremes are going to throw out the entire election, so maybe this socialistmuslin tyranny will not happen.
psychedelicSludge: I’ve been calling Hopey ‘The Magic Mulatto’ ever since the primaries!!!
There’s a guy who signs himself “37thandO” who writes this every day on various Washingtonpost article comments.
Qwerty- the Supremes broke up and I think Diana Ross(as the former President of the Supremes) likes Obama.
I was dating a girl during the primaries and she whispered to me once “Don’t vote for Obama… he’ll only help his kind. I said, “Mulattos? Hawaiians?” I’d have dumped her then but the sex was really good.
keepinitrealyo: You’re bastard for still fucking that woman after that shit.
keepinitrealyo:
All she needs is a good all night frenzied sex session with one of “his kind.” She’ll never go back to her kind after that.
@keepinitrealyo: You totally have your priorities straight. *salutes you*
5. The Lollipop Guild
I knew it! Sneaky little bastards…
OMG, George Washington and most of the first presidents are not ‘natural born citizens’, they were born before the US existed. We need to send them back to England where they belong. Damn Cockney impersonators.
I can’t get over their stupid “errors” that they’ve “found”.
For example, Obama’s father would not have been referred to as “African” in 1961 but would have been identified as “Negro”. The “n” of “Negro would have been in lower case, not capitalized.
The birth certificate is ALL CAPS. Should his race have been “nEGRO”?
Obama himself would have been identified as “mulatto”, and if he had been born out of wedlock as “illegitimate” or “bastard”, depending on the state he was born in.
The child’s race isn’t listed AT ALL. It lists the races of each PARENT, and if you’re not a moron (sorry VDARE readers) you can figure it out!
Godot: Why are you sorry for calling vdare readers morons? maybe you should apologize to morons for associating them with vdare.
Don’t you know blacks can’t be citizens? The Supreme Court said so!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dred_Scott_Decision
finallyhappy: You’re right I’m not sorry, more like I was indicating that I saw how they might have not understood.
Jinkies gang - I thought everyone knew BHO is the last surviving child of the planet Krypton. VDARE followers will come to fear his deliberate, wonky wrath.
That and the color of skin. And oh yeah, his religion(s) as well. And his smart wife and darling kids. And the pitbull puppies they’re sure to bring to the White House, replacing the bowling alley with a dogfighting ring. There goes the neighborhood!
loquaciousmusic: Also.
qwerty42: the Obamacrimes website is amazing. I especially like their Washington Post ad featuring the US Consitution and it says “We the people…”
OMG, the US Constitution is a FAKE!!1!
VeeDare Shenequa Jackson is pissed and wants her name back from the KKK.
I am just wondering are these peopel real or is this a bad satire - no one can be that stupid!
Illegal alien, wow, I hear that it’s no fun being one. Never mind that as a child of a US citizen, he is a citizen by birth. the issue for being president is the PLACE of Birth, not who gave birth to you. These fuckers are desperate! Next theory is that some vast alien conspiracy has gone back in time to plant the birth announcements.
Time to deport these fuckin idiots…
If these fuckin idiots had a clue, they’d forge Obama’s mothers PASSPORT, showing that she was out of the country during his birth. Not once have I even seen these wackos produce such evidence. Of course, now that I have given them the idea, one will be produced in 3…2…
Dreamer: oh, REALLY??? I beg to differ, remember there are still 20% or more of the US population that believes Iraq had something to do with 9/11!! Better still, look at how many morons support Sarah Palin for 2012??? (not to mention that just under half of the voters in 2000 voted for GWB).
No, America has a shitload of people that have gone FULL-RETARD!.
Dreamer: Hey, don’t call them stupid! It takes a lot of complex justification to prove to everyone that you actually have a reason to hate him other than your own self-denied bigotry.
azw88: WIDTAP: O.K. so they are members of the crazy 20% - thanks for clarifying. I am so looking forward to the next 8 years - their miserable little existance will be torturous, kind like David Lynch movie.
Hmm, maybe it’s time to say hello to my white racist grandma.
V-DARE can suck my ass. They are nothing but a bunch of racist, intellectually-dishonest asshats.
http://www.splcenter.org/intel/intelreport/article.jsp?aid=152
This people are like the episode of the Smurfs where everyone was being bitten by the “ganap” bug.
They’re freaking out because the BHO birth document posted, a “true copy or abstract” issued in frigging *2007* uses “African” instead of the presumably original “Negro”? D’ja thunk they might maybe just be substitutin’, y’know, terms that don’t heinously offend people, in their modern reissues? Mind you, it is defective: I just can’t see where the “half-breed Muslin Ay-rab bastard with a weird-ass name” and “mother’s occupation: whoring herself out to jungle-bunnies” information is supposed to go…
The best bit of the ‘fake cert’ campaign is where they point out that the PDF scan of the document appears to be digitized in some way. That’s pretty compelling evidence. NOBAMA!!!!1
Ha! They still haven’t fixed it!
Really, though, all times in Arkansas are weird.