MEET YOUR CANDIDATES  6:02 pm December 1, 2008

Random Dude Who E-mailed Us Should Take Hillary’s Senate Seat

by Jim Newell

A delightfully insane person has e-mailed us and approximately 400 other tip or info lines asking politely if he can be Senator from New York. He wants to take over for two years until Chelsea Clinton is 30 and can rightfully claim her seat. You must read (skim) his full blog post about this. “Oh- I’m just the ‘strwaw man- so i’ll read the script, act the part, do the ‘show’, and let my handlers, and staff run things- its simpler that way,” he writes, “for 2 years- till chelsea clinton is 30, and can take over the show..” The commentary is interspersed among dozens of photos of celebrities and politicians. [X-WIRE]

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mattbolt December 1, 2008 at 6:05 pm

I never thought Al Franken would stoop this low.

mattbolt December 1, 2008 at 6:08 pm

Really all that needs to be quoted from that schizophrenic nutbag’s rambling, incoherent post:

“COOTER!! ( a slang name for a womans v- shaped you know what… giggle!!)”
- X-Wire, 2008

SayItWithWookies December 1, 2008 at 6:12 pm

Sounds like Wasilla mayoral material to me.

nurple December 1, 2008 at 6:12 pm

Maybe it’s Art.

auntu December 1, 2008 at 6:14 pm

This guy is from my hometown in Indiana so I can’t say I’m surprised by the craziness.

nurple December 1, 2008 at 6:17 pm

This just in – replacement Senator will be Al D’Amato and Ed Koch wearing one comical, two-headed, four-legged blue suit.

p-Sludge ofTheElves December 1, 2008 at 6:19 pm

W’s resume?

blinky_twinkie December 1, 2008 at 6:20 pm

Oh. Mah. Gawd. If he said “giggle” one more time, I was going to pass out from a creepy-uncle case of the greatgoogliemooglies.

JohnnyMeatworth December 1, 2008 at 6:21 pm

I <3 schizophrenia!

OffTheRecord December 1, 2008 at 6:21 pm

Oh lord. I had managed to block the image of Rick Santorum in seersucker out of my brain. And now it is back.

shortsshortsshorts December 1, 2008 at 6:26 pm

Holy hell! Did you see all the e-mail addresses he has listed at the bottom? He’s got a 5,000 person death-list AND he’s pro-second amendment.

Lock your doors, editor-people.

Borat December 1, 2008 at 6:32 pm

I’m no web-page thingy coder, but what’s up with all that gobbledy-gook that makes up the 80% of the page at the end? Various domains and email addresses? Is this guy some kind of Hillz luvin’ hacker?

marioninnyc December 1, 2008 at 6:33 pm

oh great, another carpetbagger!

WadISay December 1, 2008 at 6:34 pm

[re=188469]OffTheRecord[/re]: “Filling Rick Santorum’s seat…” The Horror.

blinky_twinkie December 1, 2008 at 6:35 pm

[re=188472]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: That friggin’ list has GOT to be a violation of somebody’s privacy policy. I love the big black squares (his version of renditions, one assumes) blocking portions of the list.

V572625694 December 1, 2008 at 6:41 pm

[re=188472]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Wait a minute, being pro-Second-Amendment doesn’t mean you’re a potential crazed gunman. Well, come to think of it, it pretty much does mean that, doesn’t it?

shortsshortsshorts December 1, 2008 at 6:44 pm

[re=188487]V572625694[/re]: Ya I was going to use the good Dr. HST as an example, but I think he completely disproves that there exists a Pro-Second Amendment-Non-Wingnut.

graceless December 1, 2008 at 6:47 pm

Wasn’t this part of the deal when Rick Lazio took that dive?

johnbpt December 1, 2008 at 6:48 pm

I say give him a shot. He sounds like exactly the kind of change-y team player that Barry needs watching his back in the Senate. In any event, he couldn’t be a bigger embarrassment than Chuck “Upchuck” Schumer.

donner_froh December 1, 2008 at 6:55 pm

He does make one excellent point–neither he nor anyone else would be much worse and possibly even better than the current Senate–plus a few governors, maybe he doesn’t know the difference.

azw88 December 1, 2008 at 6:58 pm

Some are talking up BILL CLINTON to fill her seat…. the motto: Bill Clinton, bringing heterosexual intern sex scandal back to Washington!

edgydrifter December 1, 2008 at 6:59 pm

[re=188491]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I was going to offer myself as an example to the contrary, but considering I was bragging and cackling earlier about amassing my gargantuan mountain of archived pr0n I confess you’re probably right.

ella December 1, 2008 at 7:01 pm

Those pictures are all hotlinked.

Rev. Juan MessyCan December 1, 2008 at 7:21 pm

[re=188499]donner_froh[/re]: He also doesn’t know the difference between a noun and an adjective.

(“santorum” is a noun, “santorum-slurping” is an adjective).

Rev. Juan MessyCan December 1, 2008 at 7:22 pm

Damn- I had to fuck up my own punctuation!

wheelie December 1, 2008 at 7:44 pm

Well he says he’s Irish, so I have to set all other considerations aside and say . . .

I SUPPORT THIS BIZARRE INTERNET CANDIDATE for whatever he wants. I will also blow him, for $4 less* than my usual rate. Tiocaigh ár lá.

*offer confined to weekend ending December 7. Client must be hygienic. All travel costs must be borne by client.

Heywood Floyd December 1, 2008 at 8:33 pm

I like that he chose now to send out the email. He looked it over, thought about, and said, yeah, it’s ready. It is so ready.

ky-jellydonuts December 1, 2008 at 11:41 pm

He couldn’t be less coherent than Robert Byrd. Why not?

Mojopo December 2, 2008 at 2:52 am

AHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! Oh, man I needed that. So look, I blogged about Hillary as SoS, and I am laughing like a little girl. Life is GOOD.

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