Wonkette
Everyone loves George W. Bush so much, and even more so when he gets all cute and modest about his epic record of WIN. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, Bush invited hungry street urchin Charles Gibson into his secret Appalachian masturbatorium, Camp David, for a series of interviews with himself and his first lady, Laura. There is a 7-page transcript. Page 3 is where the cool kids are hanging out.
Before George W. Bush was elected, we learn, he had assumed that if there were going to be any potential terrorist attacks or wars anywhere during his term in office, someone would’ve told him about them in a memo before he chose to ran, right? I mean JESUS, anyone doing their day jobs around this place?
GIBSON: What were you most unprepared for?
BUSH: Well, I think I was unprepared for war. In other words, I didn’t campaign and say, “Please vote for me, I’ll be able to handle an attack.” In other words, I didn’t anticipate war. Presidents — one of the things about the modern presidency is that the unexpected will happen.
So he is saying that if he knew, before he ran, that there would possibly be these “wars” (waged by us, btw) during his time, he wouldn’t have voted for himself either. There are limits!
Also, after this staggering response from George in which he claims that he LOVES COMFORTING AMERICA during war and death and famine, Charlie makes a declarative statement that is somehow a question?:
BUSH: Oh, yes. As I said, some times are happy, some not happy. I don’t want people to misconstrue. It’s not — I don’t feel joyful when somebody loses their life, nor do I feel joyful from somebody loses a job. That concerns me. And the President ends up carrying a lot of people’s grief in his soul during a presidency. One of the things about the presidency is you deal with a lot of tragedy — whether it be hurricanes, or tornadoes, or fires, or death — and you spend time being the Comforter-in-Chief. But the idea of being able to serve a nation you love is — has been joyful. In other words, my spirits have never been down. I have been sad, but the spirits are up.
GIBSON: I have found you to be an excellent political analyst and commentator?
In what respect, Charlie?
Charles Gibson Interviews President Bush [ABC News]
More like, WTF, Charlie?
My comforter-in-chief has big pink flowers on it that match my curtains and pillow shams.
Charlie is interrogating the text from the wrong perspective.
Can’t wait to see this. I hope there are moments of silence where, similar to the Couric-Palin interview, Charlie just stares at him in disbelief, thinking, “what the fuck are you TALKING about, nitwit???”
‘Eat a bag of dicks’ in what respect, Charlie?
Dear George,
Mr. Bag of Dicks awaits your consumption.
Love as always,
Me
Not joy, but the money’s fuckin’ fantastic, heh heh heh.
Ummm….
What was all that “I’m a wartime Prezdint! YEEE HAW CRAWFORD I’m ready for wartime” bullshit in ‘04 when in fact he had no fucking idea what he was doing in the first place….
Something foul is in the air…
Wow, Chimpy didn’t expect the unexpected. That is definitely one of the lessons of the modern preznidenci.
You know Gibson is desperate to keep Palin out of the Pundantocracy when he nominates Shrubs for the job.
Ok, Charlie Gibson now must write a tell all book titled “Palin and Bush, how I survived interview two complete morons and lived to write about it”
Oh dear lord. We’ve been governed for the last eight years by a knitted blanket.
Charlie Gibson: I’m Ron Burgundy?
That dialog sort of reads like Charlie was jacking him off while they were ‘conversing’. Perhaps they cut out the part where Charlie said, “Cum in my eye MR PRESIDENT!!!”
“I don’t feel joyful when somebody loses their life….”
It’s just that I don’t feel anything much about it one way or the other.
The nickname for my blanky is Comforter-in-Chief. He’s the president of snugglyness.
shortsshortsshorts: Well, yeah, he’s trying to rewrite history in an era of Youtubes, bloggers, and easily-acessible electronic archives. Haha, good luck.
user-of-owls: No, a knitted blanket would’ve been more benevolent and certainly more comforting.
V572625694:
Surprised he was allowed to aske that question
I bet John Gibson was standing out in the cold, in a comically oversize parka, glaring visibly.
Viva la Cynthia: My comforter-in-chief likes it up the ass.
Maybe his does too.
I’m just saying.
he’s obviously not a gemini.
fuck!
As these recollections and remembrances and inane self-reflections trickle out, we’re discovering that it was all actually much worse than we imagined when we were living through it.
When the screeners were deciding who among the suffering would be subjected to his comforting, the must have pre-selected only those who were catatonic with grief. Otherwise, it seems certain that someone (e.g., Katrina victim, Iraq war widow, etc.) would have taken a big ol’ bite outta the Comforter-In-Chief’s nose, ear or cheek.
After Comforter in Chief, I will think of him as President Duvet for a long, long time.
My favorites so far
1. uh oh moment
2. scare the willikers out of you
Mmmm, that was fun to read. Here’s a few of my favs:
Mrs. Bush on whether Michelle asked her opinion about how to get things done, how to be an active first lady, while visiting the white house: “we talked about closets”
Dubya on his take-away lessons: “one of the things I learned during his presidency is being the son of the President is a lot tougher than being the President”
(because, you know, being actual president isn’t so bad when you’re not actually having to do presidential things…)
Famous last words from the idiot-in-cheif (sic) much like other losers of history:
“I was unprepared for so many Indians.”
George S. Custer
“We were unprepared to deal with so many toxic mortgage securities”
Dick Fuld, CEO of Lehman
I swear to God this man is determined to make my head explode before he leaves office. Why, George? What did I ever do to you? Asides from being black, a woman, a democrat, and hating your guts for the past 8 years?
What does “before I arrived in President” mean?
BUSH: You know, I’m the President during this period of time, but I think when the history of this period is written, people will realize a lot of the decisions that were made on Wall Street took place over a decade or so, before I arrived in President, during I arrived in President.
i prefer a snuggler - in - chief : http://www.nananellys.com/Bright%20Yellow.jpg
“I was unprepared to deal with so many closets”-L.Bush
What’s it feel like to be the stupidest president of all time? In other words, don’t you think that 20% of the people thinking you did a great job is a really scary reminder of how stupid some of our citizens are? In other words, will there be something other than video games in your presidential library? In other words, are there better words I can use to help you admit that you’re a dumbshit?
He was so unprepared for war that he and Cheney were talking about invading Iraq before 9/11. Too bad Reifenstahl wasn’t available to do the interview; she understood fabulists.
<i<I’m a little upset that we didn’t get the reforms to Fannie and Freddie — on Fannie and Freddie, because I think it would have helped a lot.
Freddie and Fannie way too Boobsey Twins for me.
Even though I didn’t really have a problem with Flossie and Freddie.
Flossie was always a little bossy.
And when people review the history of this administration, people will say that this administration tried hard to get a regulator.
Oh my God
Hans the Brinker: I’m tellin’ you…rewrite…history…can’t do it.
The debate is long over whether or not he was the worst (dumbest) President we have ever had, but I cant think of a single worst leader anywhere in the Western world….ever, and there have been some doozies
Hans the Brinker: But did the administration also try to “get regular?” Just needed some mental metamucil.
Bottom of page two.
Laughing at the thing about people walking in the Oval Office
and being surprised at how happy everybody is.
Don’t think I can make it through seven pages.
So………..
He didn’t comprimise his principles, which must mean
his principles included destroying the country and
not only that they enjoyed doing it.
Oh God.
Oh my God.
Hans the Brinker: I knew it! He’s just a puppet controlled by a homunculus, like those aliens in the human suits in Men in Black…
“I’m a war president. I make decisions here in the Oval Office in foreign policy matters with war on my mind.”
-Feb. 8th, 2004
vs.
“Well, I think I was unprepared for war. In other words, I didn’t campaign and say, ‘Please vote for me, I’ll be able to handle an attack.’ In other words, I didn’t anticipate war.”
-Dec. 1st, 2008
One of my least favorite George W. Bush vocal tics — and lord knows there are plenty to choose from — is “in other words”. It’s like, he creates some horribly mangled, barely English string of word-like lexical units, and then he says “in other words,” and comes up with a fifth-grade-level sentence that conveys more or less the same dipshit sentiment expressed earlier.
God, I didn’t realized how sick I was of this guy until I started typing that.
I can’t wait for 2009 when the only people who’ll take George’s phone calls are The John Birch Society and The Project For a New American Century.
…who could have foreseen that turning the presidential election into a popularity contest may lead to an unqualified sociopaths getting elected? That statement alone should make half of America; the half that voted for who they would rather have beer with in 2000-2004, slit their wrist. And now the very same fukk ups are propping up the mentally deficient Sarah Palin, for a 2012 campaign?! Can someone please explain to me, why the GOP has such an aversion to intelligence? All the criteria they use to select their candidates are utterly idiotic!
-Are you the right color?
-Are you the right Religon?
-Are you the right sex?
-Are you heterosexual(or good pretending to be)?
-Are you the type of person I would like to have a beer with?
I mean fukk! You wouldn’t choose a doctor, mechanic, plumber or even lawn service based on this critera; so why the hell would you choose a president with it?!
It’s not — I don’t feel joyful when somebody loses their life . . .
That’s not true. See http://www.nybooks.com/articles/17670
____________________
“King, Bush said, asked Tucker difficult questions, such as “What would you say to Governor Bush?”
What did Tucker answer? Carlson asked.
“Please,” Bush whimpered, his lips pursed in mock desperation, “please, don’t kill me.”
Carlson was shocked.[4] He couldn’t believe Bush’s callousness and reasoned that his cruel mimicry of the woman whose death he had authorized must have been sparked by anger over Karla Faye Tucker’s remarks during the King interviews.
Hans the Brinker: You begin to annoy me. Each new thought does not require a new post. I’ve been watching you.
Greatest disappointment was that there were no WMD.
Yeah that was kind of a bummer.
It all sort of makes you wonder just what he expected when he ran for President. Like was he thinking it would be just long weekends at Camp David? Lots of free trips all over the world? Cool tchotchkes with the Presidential Shield that he gets to take home? The ability to act smug and piss off all those liberal-types who made fun of him in college?
It’s kind of good he’s giving all these interviews these days because I had forgotten just how much I hated him.
Neon Trotsky: He thinks if he doesn’t explain it
that we’re too stupid to understand it.
In other words, he thinks everybody else is a little ignorant, also.
Deepthroat: I’ve been waiting for this.
Actually, I’ve been very surprised no one has told me to
STFU.
So…thanks!
“Hey! had I know things would get THIS fucked up. I never would have take the job!”
-GWB November 2008
azw88: Can you repost your post?
The quote is underneath the blue bar with the date and
time in it.
He didn’t compromise his principles. Unfortunately, those principles involved acting on what you believed, regardless of the facts; not changing your actions to suit changing circumstances; marginalizing anybody who disagreed with you; and never admitting anything was wrong or needed to be done differently.
He says nothing about foreign policy or about dealing with other countries — nothing about Pakistan, Afghanistan, Somalia — virtually nothing about complex issues, except for “Fannie and Freddie,” and then only in the most cursory fashion.
Some people — Harry Truman springs to mind — grow into the presidency. Bush’s singular imperviousness to change means he has shrunk in office, from a man wholly unprepared for the responsibility to a man who will never ever be prepared, and never could have been.
As the last surviving member of the Permanent Republican Majority, it’s impressive that Bush, during his monarchy, has gone from robust bully to senescent inbred within the same generation. Even the Romanoffs were unable to accomplish that.
“Favorite” quotes -
“Steve Hadley and I were sitting around - he’s the National Security Advisor - sitting around; I said, wouldn’t it be interesting for baby boomers not to retire in nice places, but to retire - during their retirement, go help people deal with malaria or AIDS. In other words - and I’m not suggesting that’s what I’m going to do, but it is the kind of thing that intrigues me.”
…ahh, George! Yes, that would be interesting so long as it doesn’t involve you actually doing anything, wouldn’t it?
“GIBSON: One thing you’ll miss most?
BUSH: Well, I’ll miss being Commander-in-Chief. I have gotten to be - grown to be so appreciative of our military. It’s hard to believe that so many kids, and some not-so-kids, have volunteered to fight in a war. And I’ll miss - and it’s going to sound strange to you - I’ll miss meeting with the families whose son or daughter have fallen in combat, because the meetings I’ve had with the families are so inspirational. They - I mean, obviously, there’s a lot of sadness, and we cry, and we hug, and we occasionally laugh. And we share - I listen to stories. But the Comforter-in-Chief is always the comforted person.”
I can’t even think of a comment on this bit, I’m so horrified.
…because I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about people who are losing work, or watching their 401Ks go down.
Hey thanks for thinking of me even though I’m not Afghanistani or Iraqi.
Just an old Amurican. But thanks fella. Thank yee.
SayItWithWookies: But they gave really good parties!
Let it be known that I have said my piece regarding Hans the Brinker aka Sans the Diaper.
Hans the Brinker: what, pray tell, are you talking about? Did you try REFRESH?
Deepthroat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRaieyN77UI&feature=related
“nor do I feel joyful from somebody loses a job.”
Can you imagine how much we’d laugh at Obama for this loser grammar, and how Bush need not even bother correcting himself, as we all know he’s retarded?
Deepthroat: One begins to wonder of everyone with “The” as a middle name shares an inability to plug their piehole.
Well, except Thomas the Tank Engine.
m_supercomputer: “Steve Hadley and I were sitting around - he’s the National Security Advisor - sitting around; I said, wouldn’t it be interesting for baby boomers not to retire in nice places, but to retire - during their retirement, go help people deal with malaria or AIDS. In other words - and I’m not suggesting that’s what I’m going to do, but it is the kind of thing that intrigues me.”
It sounds like he meant to say “not to retire in nice places but to retire-”
in like places like Africa, unless there’s been a large outbreak of
Malaria on The French Riviera.
President George Bush: You are a fool. You make Sarah Palin sound intelligent.
So, according to the answer to the very first question, Shrub knew about the coming financial crisis early on in his administration, but only just started to try to avert the crisis a few weeks before asking Congress for $700b?
Um. Ok.
Man, this thing reads a little bit like it’s from the Hippie fake NYT.
After reading the whole thing, I’m now convinced the progeny from a Palin X Bush cross would be an entirely new species of stupid people.
naw blader, it wouldn’t be a new species, just a very sad re-enforcement of some very sad alleles.
Finally James Buchanan will have some company at the bottom of the list.
I really had no idea the President has an HR department that needs to give him an exit interview after giving him the pink slip
Hans the Brinker: FAIL
Don’t you know that by repeating the interviewer’s name back to them, it automatically makes everything you say sound coherent and intelligent?
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Did anyone get a chance to have a beer with the man? I heard this was important.
Modest Mussorgsky claims he was ‘Unprepared’ for Night on Bald Mountain.
Dam a WHITE Turkey, We will have a Black one next year.
m_supercomputer: I think all he’s saying is that his time in office got more and more rewarding from mid-03 until the damned surge. Then the action and the family visits went way down, and now it’s getting so damned boring around here it’s like, the inspiration’s gone, can’t wait to get back to the ranch. Or Africa. Probably the ranch. Or maybe Paraguay.
Kinda reminds of those mercy-killing nursing home aides they catch once in awhile. Or a terrifying novel by Thomas Harris. It is truly chilling to try to get inside this man’s head.