Wonkette
Several years ago, Hillary Clinton’s shadowy cabal whispered to every known news agency that she, Hillary Clinton, would be secretary of state for Obama, making her the first white lady to be secretary of state in eight years! This historical appointment was almost ruined by Hillary’s terrible “husband,” who did not want to reveal the names of donors to his special foundation dedicated to flying Bill around on a jet full of booze and broads.
But now Bill has turned over the list of names — including Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot, Vlad the Impaler and Dick Cheney — and Hillary can be the “SecState.” Hooray.
Also, that dude everybody knew was going to stay on as Obama’s token old white Republican Texan, Robert Gates, is staying on as Obama’s token old white Republican Texan. People at the Daily Kos or whatever are probably outraged about all of this!
Also Eric Holder is officially the designated Attorney General, making him the first African-American who pardoned Marc Rich to hold this important Department of Justice role.
Hillary Clinton, Robert Gates on Obama national security team [LA Times]
oK HIILZ, uu con haz White House back now from who whence stole it from thee.
…didnt you leave out Caligula and Cthulhu?
Are they going to post Clinton’s list on the Web? That’d be entertaining!
i bet bill is askin bill for advice on making money/scoring trim (insert shameless dick joke here)
move along folks nothing to see here
There’s something here for everyone to feign mock-outrage over!
Oh GREAT!!!!
Super Bitch is BACK !!!
Just wait until she forces
those old misogynist Arab
sheiks to do MUFF DIVES
for her while wearing a
yamulka and humming have nagila.
Osama Ben Laden will be
eating locks and bagels
in prison by April !!!!
Sigh, this just means many, many more images in the national news of pantsuits in unflattering colors and cuts. Maybe she can spring for some shoes that are not of the Naturalizer, “sensible” high heel ilk.
I for one, welcome my new HOMELAND overlords.
NunnaTheSOBs: That was poetic. Thank you.
Doglessliberal: Mayhaps she confers with the current SECDEF who can advise her how to shoeshop in a hurricane. Oy…Pantsuits.
it depends on what you mean by “is”
Obama appointed Janet Nap to HomeSec to punish Arizona for A: sending John McCain to try and fuck up his birth right to the presidency, and B: not voting for him.
With Janet gone, the republicans will run rampant around the state capital. We shall have guns in bars, guns in schools, no abortions, and piss-poor public schools. In other words, Arizona is the new Mississippi.
Ha ha, that “Gates” photo got me good. Hoo-boy!
freakishlystrong: The ridiculous thing is, even if Hillz has piano legs, she can look much better in high boots and a skirt suit than pantsuits and low heels.
I hope they keep a public copy of that Bill donor list at the Bill Clinton Presidential Library, Museum & Adult Bookstore
This is a pretty dangerous situation–all Hillz would have to do to become president is off Barry O, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and Robert Byrd, and we know she’s already murdered Vince Foster in cold blood…
That makes four straight women SoS!
And yes, I’m counting Powell the Pussy!
I must commend Obama’s Minister of Accurate Leaks on the bang-up job he/she’s been doing.
Another reason to stay drunk…
I think the reason they dragged this thing out so long was “snark prevention.” By this point I’ve made every sarcastic remark I can dream of and now that the “official” post has arrived I’m reduced to making chauvinistic secretary jokes.
So when will Obama introduce her to the Presidential Staff?
Neon Trotsky: Well, she’d need to start with Barry, and that assassin line’s so long she’d need to take a number.
actor212: That makes it two straight lesbian SoS.
mattbolt: ah, but I wonder who her Deputy will be? If she is taken out during a visit to Pakistan to calm the waters there, then we have a replacement. It could be part of some grand plan…..
At 3AM the two of them fight to see who answers the phone. Michelle was coveniently away on a goodwill tour. Pass me the eye bleach.
Doglessliberal: I concur, what’s up with the whole Captain Kangaroo thing? She’s not unattractive.
heh alt-text
mattbolt: She could always subcontract to some racist bitter…
At least we may see a lot of Huma, and have many rumors of their affair as they trot the globe.
But booze and broads are the essence of modern diplomacy. To hell with gunboats.
Doglessliberal: I’ve had an idea for a movie where the presidential line of succession just keeps getting picked off within a few days, one by one, Prez, VP, Speaker of the House, all the way down to random cabinet positions, and it gets down to the Secretary of Education, 14th on the list, and they’re pretty shellshocked by the whole thing but ready to assume the role of President, when suddenly, into their office walks the Secretary of Veteran Affairs… number 15 on the list… WITH A GUN.
freakishlystrong: id do her
azw88: We already have guns, bad schools, Republicans in every office in Arizona-including the dim wit neo-con Kyle. Too bad we now get a rabid wingnut for Governor when Janet leaves. The sacrifices we made for Barry. He better make it up to us!
John McCain is happy, because Napolitano would have beat him in the election for his Senate seat and crashed his political biography. Hopey threw a bone to WALNUTS here by hiring his popular rival. Sobbing, endless sobbing, in Arizona today.
Don’t forget Janet Napolitano as the first she-male to head Homeland Security!
Captain Kangaroo, that’s funny. I guess Gore should be Mr. Green Jeans.
Madwoman Halfbright, Pussy Powell, Bucktooth Rice, and now this . . . does anybody remember her cookie recipe? I need a cookie. What, how about Cookie! Cookie for Secretary of State!
Re: Albright. A choice quote from the Simpsons’ Selma’s Choice episode…
Priest: He was a good man, he was a kind man. He gave to his community and asked little in return. He never– (a man whispers something in his ear) That’s a woman? Dear Lord!
Ummm, is the Sylvan Learning Centers ad right below this post an intentional joke?
mattbolt: this could get made, seriously.
Clintons in the Cabinet. No good can come of this.
This is a great relief to all the masochists in the outer regions of the Empire. We had all had terrible nightmares that the soft leather ,American, jackboot was to be lifted from our windpipes.
Now its clear that was just a dream. No you can’t. No you can’t.No you can’t.
I believe the “jet full of booze and broads” Clinton flies around on with his billionaire pals is called “Air Fuck One.”
Make Bill ambassador to Thailand or Philippines!
Zhu Bajie
Hate to be a party-pooper but, you know, Bill Clinton’s foundation does actually do a lot of good things. He takes tons of money from shady people & stops the AIDS from growing and feeds poor people and stuff. They way the media talks about it, you’d think his foundation was one step below the mafia or something. He’s probably done more good since he’s been president than when he was president.
azw88: “We shall have guns in bars, guns in schools, no abortions, and piss-poor public schools.”
Welcome to Oklahoma!
As Sec. of Defense, Gates will go far beyond Star Wars missile defense by persuading our enemies to run their weapons systems on Vista, thereby ensuring the security of the US for years to come.