???: “Bush should consider pardoning–and should at least be vociferously praising–everyone who served in good faith in the war on terror, but whose deeds may now be susceptible to demagogic or politically inspired prosecution by some seeking to score political points. The lawyers can work out if such general or specific preemptive pardons are possible; it may be that the best Bush can or should do is to warn publicly against any such harassment or prosecution. But the idea is this: The CIA agents who waterboarded Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, and the NSA officials who listened in on phone calls from Pakistan, should not have to worry about legal bills or public defamation. In fact, Bush might want to give some of these public servants the Medal of Freedom at the same time he bestows the honor on Generals Petraeus and Odierno. They deserve it.” [Bolding of incredible statement is ours.] The people who gathered reliable intelligence without breaking domestic/international law, however, should be sent to Gitmo for being such pussies. [Weekly Standard via Andrew Sullivan]
Read More:
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- Weekly Standard Sold To Another Right-Wing Billionaire Who Doesn't Need To Worry About Profitability
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{ 179 comments }
This man needs to donate his brain to science. And his torso to a fat-rendering plant.
I, for one, look forward to the medal awards ceremony for the vermi….er…patriots that showed America’s compassionate side at Abu Ghraib. They should be encouraged to demonstrate their love of country on other potential awardees, such as John Yoo, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld.
Ach! We used the same tactic in the SS back in the Good Old Days.
Torturing those French terrorists in those basements.
Cleaning those Poles out of the Warsaw Ghetto.
The Iron Crosses rained down like Kandy Kanes.
Sniff.
:::Whoops::::
(Forget I said that, would you?)
Yes, hear hear! It’s high time we threw off the strangling yoke of an objective standard of ethics and embraced an utterly subjective morality!
Pardons? And why not; after all, when Bush and his team are finally evicted from the White House, common sense may come back into fashion. And wouldn’t it make sense for some of the lunatics who led us into Iraq to be tried for crimes against humanity, international law, and common decency?
Yeah, pardons might be a real life-saver for those guys…
i think kristol needs to be waterboarded. of course, no jury in the world would convict whoever did it.
Bush’s positions are reasonably popular–even though the Bush administration has done very little to make its case.
George W. Bush is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.
Attorney General Michael Mukasey did a good job of laying out the argument for the administration’s conduct of the war on terror in remarks to the Federalist Society a little over a week ago.
During which, Mukasey’s body attempted to nuke his brain from orbit. It was the only way to be sure.
The idea is this: “The greatest pleasure is to vanquish your enemies and chase them before you, to rob
them of their wealth and see those dear to them bathed in tears, to ride their horses and clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters.”
Fur dis, ve giff the Congressional Medal of Honor.
And THEN the oral buttsecks.
[re=187740]erymanthian bore[/re]: No no, Medal of *Freedom*, the top civilian honor in America, given by Ron Paul.
Yo Bill, you may need lawyers yerself.
Is it safe to assume that guy pictured above is der Weisse Engel?
[re=187735]Neilist[/re]: I was just thinking the same thing. It was a good thing Hitler gave out Iron Crosses – stopped all that pesky litigation that could have occured at Nuremberg…oh wait.
I still think he should follow Radar Magazine’s suggestion, and give a MoF to Paris Hilton. Bring it on! Burn the place down! Wheee!
If you’re gonna go down in flames, you might as well do it with style.
I reckon a $500 gift certificate from Lawyers ‘R’ Us each would do.
Kristol nacht
Meanwhile, we seem to have al Qaeda mostly on the run (though not defeated).
Yeah, they’re running like hell. So much so that they’re now using Somalia as their safe haven in addition to the Afghan/Pakistan border. I’m sure that has nothing to do with our diligent prosecution of the war in Iraq, which caused us to drop fighting al-Qaida where they actually were.
And hey, I’m all for not prosecuting the poor bastards who did Bush and Rumsfeld’s dirty work for them at the lowest level. Everyone up that ladder, though, needs to spend the rest of their lives in a filthy cage in Kandahar.
FTW in this case must stand for Fuckhead Twerp Writer.
[re=187732]Palin-Plumber2012[/re]: How about donating it to science fiction, a la Rodney Dangerfield?
I like the concept of Bush setting a tone for any narrative.
“Ummmmmm. Uhhhhhhhhngh, Ummmmmmmmh.”
Somebody give that MoFo enough rope to gag himself for starters, and then you’ll get a narrative worth hearing from Bush. Thirteen loops starting at the bottom; last loop gets cinched into the loop at the top; take in the slack from the scaffold end of it, and tighten that baby. Now to get him to jump. Where’s whatshername- the Abu Grahib Babe? A cigarette should work, or a jumping pin.
He remembers how to do the knot from being Governor. Why not give the public a show tomorrow at High Noon? Put Bill Kristol under him with a large bucket in case the treatment spoils his constitution (as he has spoiled ours). Cheney comes next. But in his case I figure a catapult and a skeet shoot involving his wounded friends and enemies alike. What goes around ought to come around in a more perfect world. The Hague isn’t good enough. It’s too easy.
That Medal of Freedom would make for interesting cocktail party conversation.
“So you were awarded the Medal of Freedom? What for?”
“Beating an Afghan cab driver to death with a baseball bat while he hung from the ceiling of an airplane hangar.”
“Oh. Well, he must’ve been a vicious terrorist, huh? Didja make him tell you where Bin Laden is?”
“No, he was just a cabbie who was driving past our base when there was an attack. We didn’t catch any real Taleban or anything, so we tortured the fuck out of him instead.”
“Oh. And you got an award for that.”
“I know. What a country, huh?”
If only Hitler had pardoned everyone at the end of the war, it would have saved everyone so much in legal bills.
It is brilliant thinking like this that has made Bill Kristol the leading thinker of Conservatism in this millenia.
Wasn’t that Conan.
Reality proof?
Bill Kristol’s fat should be rendered into cosmetic products.
Can’t we just come up with a all new, special medal for the valiant interrogators who saw us through Bush’s heroic War on Terror? I propose we call it the Knight’s Cross of the Iron Cross.
The New York Times hired this clown, people.
O NYT, O mores!
~
Kristol Meth is just trying immunize himself for aiding and abetting war crimes with his chicken-hawk cheerleading.
Is there anything much more debased than a Bush era “Medal of Freedom”? After all, he gave one “heck of a job” L. Paul Bremer, and that skunk then took his dough and went to pollute Vermont. Why don’t they arrest him? C’mon you Green Mountain Boyz!
From Mother Jones http://www.motherjones.com/bush_war_timeline/:
“A stream of ghost detainees begins arriving at Abu Ghraib after military intelligence officers, including Col. Thomas M. Pappas and Lt. Col. Steven Jordan, and the CIA agree to keep the International Committee of the Red Cross and other humanitarian organizations from knowing the detainees exist.”
What about these two charming patriots–did they get the “Medal of Freedom” too? No Wikipedia tells us that Pappas got “immunity” and a bunch o’ ribbons so he could testify against Jordan, who–oooh oooh– got a “Memo”.
Hahahaha. Someone just told Keith Olberman to stop yelling on NBC’s football show. Ha!
Give Bush, Kristol, Dick, Yoo and the rest the Medal of Fleadom.
May microscopic critters burrow into every layer of their chicken skins and cause itchy torment while their hands are shackled and nails ripped out. In their cells in The Hague. Of course.
Well, it’s not a ridiculous spectacle like in the Soviet Union they used to give medals for milk production.
Hey wait a minute…milk is delicious!
Kristol’s proposal fits just fine as a last gasp from these morons… er, morans. Have we ever seen Bush exercise ethical self-restraint? I’m not sure what shadow planet he inhabits, though I know it’s a place where they sip cynanide and tea and eat (Iraqi) babies for snacks. Kristol has the moran’s ear, and I’m sure Chimpie plans to pull several stunts like this one anyway. He has zero shame about turning the ethical world upside down. Right now he’s trying to make it easier to poison factory workers with toxic substances, severely weaken the Endangered Species Act, and make sure gas wells can go up around the edges of our national parks. There’s much more of his last-gasp evil at play, but it’s too depressing to mention.
Sorry, no snark, just a little weekend catharsis. I’m doing hope weekdays only until Jan. 20, at which time I’ll work it into a full-time gig.
[re=187735]Neilist[/re]: Plus he vas a mean drunk!
I dream of James Madison knocking on Kristol’s door one night and beating the crap out of him.
[re=187772]bhosp[/re]: I think that the best solution is something akin to Goldfinger’s response to James Bond’s question: “Do you expect me to talk?”
“No, I expect you to die, Mr. Bond.”
(Or something like that.)
While he’s at it, give one to Ann Coulter, too. Her acceptance speech: mmphmphphg.
Arthur Jr. needs to take this opportunity to show Dr. Kristol the door at the NYT whether his promised year is up or not. It was a risky choice to start with, Junior gave it a shot and it didn’t work out.
As to Bill’s planned awards ceremony, what a load of nonsense. Bush is obviously going to pardon Scooter and a few others (Rummy prospectively and Cheney while he’s at it). He may also grant a general amnesty to anyone who served in the Iraq war theatre. It sucks, I know and there are probably a LOT of ugly stories still to emerge from Iraq, but we have suffered through the eight years we have, not the eight years we wished we had.
Between Alaskan snow bunny Sarah Palin, blond she-devil Ann Coulter, and the rest of those crazy kooks on the right, it is so surprising the GOP is heading the way of the dinosaurs…
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Imagine this scenario:
It is about 10 AM, and Bush, Cheney, and Chief Justice Roberts are in the Oval Office, along with a few close friends. George Bush signs a shit-load of pardons of all sorts of shit for all sorts of shitty people, INCLUDING LORD CHENEY. Once this is complete, GWB Resigns as President, making Cheney the President, with Roberts conducting the swearing in. Cheney then pardons GWB for ALL of the shit HE did. All then head over to the swearing in of Obama, with america none the wiser. It would sleazy as hell, (standard fare for these ass-clowns), AND all be legal (a rare thing for these ASS-CLOWNS).
[re=187741]Jim Newell[/re]: Not sure Dr. Paul has the authority to grant Der Oral Buttsecks. Have to look it up on Wikipedia. BRB
But they believe dinosaurs were put into the earth to test their faith.
“I’d like to be a president [known] as somebody who liberated 50 million people and helped achieve peace.”–George W. Bush. LINK.
It is as I thought. Only the Commander in Chief has authority to grant Das Eiserner Buttsecks mit Wiener und Drang. Dr. Paul can merely authorize a schnitzel mit shmeer.
Kristol just out-Kristoled himself.
Flash: Chickenhawk Bill calls on the manly Marines to “go into” Somalia, root out dem pirates.
I realize I’m a horrible fascist for asking, but could someone please take Kristol’s keyboard away? Freedom of press whatever, my head hurts for reading this bullshit.
Kristolbreath is still operating under the old logic, you know: “up is down, black is white, yes means no, torture is not torture.” He’s still trying to convince anyone who’ll listen that losing the election was winning the election. Sorry Billyboy. Just because I call a fork a spoon doesn’t make it any easier to eat soup. Medals or no medals, war trials baby! Yeah!
I think I’m falling in love with hating Kristol.
Maybe this will clear up the mystery of why so many women are attacted to the biggest assholes.
Ok … take the fact that the only thing that *Might* stimulate the incoming dems to prosecute would be some sort of embarrassing preemptive pardon … combine that with his aggressive and perhaps pivotal Palin-for-Veep stumping … toss in your own personal “wrongest-man-in-America” moment, and what becomes clear is that William Kristol is a plant. As in, on David Axelrod’s freakin’ payroll. Either that, or he’s really, really, really subconsciously mad at his mom. Honestly, with this last spitball, it’s like he’s begging to be called out.
I heard Saxby Chambliss and his one grandkid have a routine where he gives her the grampa grope and says, “Well, pardon me!” and she says, “Big Daddy, you know I ain’t the prezdint!”
Har har! Gotta love those precocious kids!
Didn’t we do this one already?
It takes a big man to admit the policies he’s been advocating and championing could possibly lead to prosecution of the poor schmucks who implemented it and could require legally questionable pre-emptive pardons.
So, just to get this straight. The new brain trust of the Republican Party wants to restart McCarthyism (Via Bachmann) and to pre-emptively pardon the actions of those the administration directed to violate international treaties and American Law (Via Kristol). Yet, the party faithful doesn’t seem to get why there are a large portion of the country that thinks the Republican Party could use another “time out”?
OT, but of Wonkette-meta importance:
Are the children of Wonketteers struggling in their studies, whilst their parents are posting snarky, lulz-inducing, entries at all hours of the day?
Freedom = Torture
We now know all the things that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed did: how he was the one on the grassy knoll, how he killed Princess Di and all that because he told us because a brave American risked PTSD to waterboard him – and torture produces such reliable evidence.
They should make special medals, cunningly wrought to double as thumbscrews so these brave men and women can continue serving liberty.
That picture makes Kristol look like such a doofus I end up feeling sorry for him, and that’s just wrong. Can’t you use one that captures his reptilian loathesomeness? I’m trying to work up my mojo against him, but he looks like a dentist heading out to a Toastmasters meeting.
But who will pardon Bill Kristol?
Hey, Medals of Freedom aren’t free. I think it’s high time these people joined the ranks of George Tenet, Dick Cheney, and Henry Kissinger.
Well, true, there’s also Mother Teresa, Lucille Ball, and Walter Cronkite, but no award is perfect.
Anyone who might need Bush’s pardon should hang themself out of shame. Kristol should do the same.
Zhu Bajie
[re=187738]philside92[/re]: The rack. He’s a conservative, after all, and should appreciate such oldd-fashioned methods. Also, he can continue yakking.
Zhu Bajie
[re=187740]erymanthian bore[/re]: You forgot to credit the quote, to Genghis Khan. And the great Khan did not go for buttsecks, or he would not have 16 million descendants.
Zhu Bajie
[re=187752]SayItWithWookies[/re]: No, punish them all. No one has to obey an illegal order.
Zhu Bajie
[re=187755]Chief Grinning Eagle[/re]: “Where’s whatshername- the Abu Grahib Babe?” Lindsey England. She’s in jail.
Zhu Bajie
[re=187761]Serolf Divad[/re]: The plexiglass bellybutton: it lets you see where you are going when you have your head up your b*tt.
Zhu Bajie
[re=187777]smellyal8r[/re]: After WW I, the people responsible for the Armenian Massacres were assassinated by Armenians, who then turned themselves in to, eg, French authorities. Likewise, the British commander who ordered the Amritsar massacre was assassinated in the end.
Zhu Bajie
[re=187779]azw88[/re]: Bush can’t just pardon himself?
Zhu Bajie
Hat fucking Trick.
With the public’s crosshairs solely on the heads of financial insitutions and the Fed, King George and gang will stealthily slime their way past Merika’s short attention span and into obscurity.
[re=187817]zhubajie[/re]: au contraire, she was given a 3 year sentence and she was paroled in march of ’07 and her sentence ended in september of this year and she was given a dishonorable discharge. she only actually spent 521 days behind bars.
I wonder whether Bush will pardon himself. I fully expect him to pardon Cheney, Ashcroft, et al but then will there be a court case about whether a president can pardon himself??
Oh yeah, Bill Kristol’s an asshat, but we already knew that, didn’t we?
Someone please waterboard this douche.
Also, help! Kristol’s protege, the Moose Woman, is in my state! Aren’t there any igloos she should be building in the tundra?
Anyone who thinks Bush or Cheney might ever have what you or I understand as a “conscience” should, each year, re-read E.L. Doctorow’s address to the students at Hofstra four years ago. Full text of his comments is here: http://www.mwblog.com/involved/archives/2005/06/an_essay_on_dea.php
It got Doctorow booed and condemned by many. He was right, of course.
[re=187829]TGY[/re]: Yes, I heard she is speaking at 4 rallies for Chambliss- so I guess this means there are still a lot of dumb people in Georgia. Of course, Ludacris is speaking/performing for Martin- and that doesn’t say a lot either.
Where is our beloved hobo SKS this morning?
I agree with Kristol: pardon all the underlings. You can’t plead the fifth when called to testify against your superiors when you’ve already been pardoned (hence Scooter’s non-pardon pardon).
[re=187834]Guppy06[/re]: That’s delicious.
This thread is getting boring, though. I’m having to listen to Dianne Rehm for the “news roundup.” Ms. Smith… we miss you…
[re=187836]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: yeah WTF wonkette its 9am and you can only do so much snarking to kristol porn.
Somebody please send a sedan chair around to the Wonkette compound. The whist game must be running over.
[re=187833]rubybuckaroo[/re]: She’s cyber shopping-and violently unplugging other people’s intertubes connections to get the bargains first.
Saraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It is now official: Bloody Bill is the Most Evil Man Alive.
No news-round up? I fear this means there may be no live blog of the Obama Terror press conference… *sad face* I mean, what if he finally cracks and admits the only national security team he needs is Allah?
You make terrible decisions with your money and get bailed out. Then for acting blatantly unscrupulous and immoral, you get legal immunity AND a medal? And I went to college for what, again?
Apparently the NSA was also listening to phone calls from American officers in Iraq to the folks back home and trading the most salacious ones like baseball cards. That would bother me, but phone sex has never been my thing. Gets the phone all sticky and then the number keys don’t work.
[re=187844]stew[/re]: Yes, and somehow, he’s still a respected member of Washington society.
No new posts?
Well, it’s not like anything’s happening right now. Good job, Wonkette.
Did the Presidential Medal of Freedom exist before Bush or was it just something he made up so he could rub dirty hippies noses in the Iraq war by constantly awarding it to people who should be in prison? Sort of a Bush Bizarro World war crimes indictment.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
[re=187852]Miller[/re]: It existed before, but, as usual, every thing Dubya touches turns to shit, and it now has been rendered meaningless, an award for being a Bushie-Tool.
Sara is on her yacht, sipping cognac and living the high life on the lavish salary of a recession-era blogger, and has tossed her laptop overboard in a fit of hubris, heartily laughing at the masses of her poor, disheviled followers, huddled in their cubicles, starving for news roundups
WTF, did our Wonkette editors over sleep or did Bush cart them off to Gitmo?
Barry is on teevee annoucing his NS team. Two lesbians, 2 blacks and 2 white old dudes. He seems to have covered all the demographics.
All our Wonkette editors are considering high-level appointments in the Obama administration.
Or they shit the bed.
I was hoping he’d appoint an old, black lesbian. Like Oprah.
Kristol is a master at walking the fine line between pundit and going full retard.
Hannity, on the other, goes full retard on TV and radio.
WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF!
I wish Jocelyn Elders were an economic or foreign policy genius. We need her BACK!
I thought the revolution had come. Why isn’t Kristol up against a wall somewhere?
We’re going to descend into madness, eventually. We’ll start acting out news posts using primitive puppet shows and taking on the personalities of the editors ourselves, making our own crude facsimile of Wonkette, like World War II soldiers stranded on desert islands and so overcome by homesickness they’d play out Yankees games in their mind
Hey! Debt relief!
[re=187867]Min[/re]: being sodomized, dont forget teh sodomy!!
[re=187799]schvitzatura[/re]: When I’m reading my daily (O.K., 3 or 4 times daily) Wonkette and my children (2 and 6) want me to do something less important, like play with them, I can get plenty irritated. That’s true.
Fortunately, it’s my policy not to start working before Wonkette does. Five-day weekend!
Hey guys, I need my fix. Where are you?
Fine. No Daily Briefing? Looks like it’s off to Gawker. Later, bitches.
[re=187829]TGY[/re]: I’m feeling incredibly smart today because the level of intelligence in this state has dropped dramatically with the invasion of Dingbat Palin.
Well the counter-punch to Chimpy pardoning everyone and their brother is for Pelosi to subpoena everyone of their asses truth-and-reconciliation style to come in and testify in detail about everything they did. After all, with a pardon they can no longer claim protection from self-incrimination under the 5th Amendment.
Then lets see what political future they have after the details are public domain.
It would be a hell of a legacy, wouldn’t it? “I hereby pardon everyone in America and persons abroad who did commit any crimes in support of the War on Terror or for any actions related thereof, past, present, or future.” Nah, nobody would take advantage of that. Especially not anyone with the love and devotion to America and the Law like friends of Bill Kristol.
Listen, kids, we need to talk. Remember when Mommy Sara went to the grocery store and didn’t say when she was coming back? Well…
[re=187803]Numbat Dundee[/re]: Oh, Kristol and all the other idjits who think torture is what keeps us safe should read this:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/28/AR2008112802242.html
It’s from the chief interrogator in Iraq who was responsible for finding where Zarqawi (of al Qaida in Iraq) was when we bombed him. He expressly didn’t use torture, although other groups that he didn’t command did. Just another nail in the coffin of the argument that the comic-book-superhero approach is always better.
Time and time again I have said that Ken, Newell and Sara should not be traveling in the same car. Well….
i feel so empty w/out my wonkette blanky. would someone please hold me?
So, if they really are all dead, who gets the site? Does Newell have some child that’s been groomed in snark since boyhood who will assume the throne? Does Wonkette go on eBay, for sale to the highest-bidding URL squatter or adult webcam site?
I just started reading Shock Doctrine last night and I’m only to the part where we electrocute the genitalia of Enemy Combatants for infermashun. Okay, don’t spoil the whole ending for me cause I’m really psyched to see the movie this Christmas but lemme guess…. we get Bin Laden right?
I always thought I’d quit Wonkette someday, I never figured Wonkette would quit me first.
[re=187855]mattbolt[/re]: Ken is being held hostage by the Mojave Resistance Front, which is demanding a year’s supply of desert tortoise soup; Jim has the week off to attend the Ginger Furries convention in Sioux City, Iowa and Juli has locked herself in the ladies room, because former President Clinton has found out she’s an intern and he’s determined to “do ‘em all.”
Sara’s at my place, making me a prosciutto & gorgonzola omelette. She says Hi.
Damn it, Wonkette, I’ve done nearly three hours of actual work today. Where the hell are you, to give me sweet sweet relief?
[re=187882]space stout[/re]: Come here…
P.S. So MAD we’re not getting an Obama security team liveblog
[re=187825]monty[/re]: That sentence and time served was probably appropriate for the ridiculous hillbilly torturer Lindy England. What’s shameful is that the people of let her do it, or encouraged her to do it, or both, are still at large, and cruising for a pardon, with Kristol as their cheerleader (takes one to know one).
[re=187886]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Mmmmm….boiled endangered species….yummy!
Hey DC residents: KevoTron is planning a trip to NoVa for the Inauguration. I have friends and family in the area but lemme know if you wanna grabadrink. I will also be looking for work while I’m there so if you know any companies that want to hire a clock watching wonkette snarker please give me a shout.
I feel like Mommy Sarah, Daddy Ken and uncle Jim just dropped us all off at a Nebraska hospital with a change of clothes and a Nintendo gameboy (BUT FORGOT THE CHARGER AT HOME, DAMMIT!!!)
So did Ken choke to death on a set of TRUCKNUTZ or something? Because that’s how I’d want to go.
[re=187889]CivicHoliday[/re]: maybe they’re on strike because Hopey didn’t nominate a single commie muslin terrorist.
(refresh, refresh, refresh) Maybe they’ve been extraordinarily renditioned someplace. Where the heck would that be?
While we wait for Sarah, Jim, Ken and Julie to get over Turkeylepsia, why don’t we all gather round and sing? Do yu all know Row, Row, Row your boat?
[re=187895]Dreamer[/re]: Wait, I thought Sarah Rice WAS a commie muslin terrorist…
[re=187887]CivicHoliday[/re]: You’ve done work? I’ve just refreshed wonkette constantly asking myself what I did to make Mommy and Daddy hate me.
Susan Rice. Not Sarah. See, I miss you SKS…you’re invading my keyboard
[re=187900]OffTheRecord[/re]: It’s terrible, isn’t it? What a sad, bleak day to be an office worker
Ah shit, they must be selling the site back to Gawker or something.
Maybe they thought we could entertain ourselves for a day.
[re=187900]OffTheRecord[/re]: It’s worse on the west coast. Seven hours to kill and no Wonkette snark? Have they no decency?
Sometimes I feel like an editorless child
Sometimes I feel like an editorless child
Sometimes I feel like an editorless child
A long ways from snark
True believer
A long ways from snark
Along ways from snark…..
Screw it. I say we hijack this thread and entertain ourselves.
Too bad we can’t posts pics because we need a shot of Obama’s Security nominees with the Alt-text “Which will be the first to resign for butt sex?”
You lazy editors! Get thee to a nunnery! Or at least back to work!
And bring some heroin when you get back!
I feel like Fry’s dog waiting outside the pizza shop.
I say we hijack this thread and entertain ourselves.
About time Wonkette got back to the basics: buttsecks, buttsecks, buttsecks.
So anyway. How many hobos did you guys kill/maim/rape/eat/all-of-these over the weekend?
OMG, I hope my hobos weren’t the Wonkette editors making a surprise house call. I mean, how would I tell the difference?
[re=187912]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: As a corollary, is it considered a crime if you stomp a Walmart employee to death, or is it just considered rude?
Damn this non posting. the last thing I need to be is productive at work.
Maybe this is one of those Catholic school tests, where the teacher goes out of the room but spies to see who sits politely with his hands in his lap (i.e., stays on-topic) throws spitballs and pulls pigtails (despairs and doubts the existence of Wonkette).
So, on the topic of Bushite medals, I see the Saddelbach church, pastored by rick Warren, is giving Bush it International Medal of Peace, the first such awarded, for “his contribution to the fight against HIV/AIDS.” http://thinkprogress.org/2008/12/01/bush-peace/ In other news, O.J. Simpson is getting a father of the year award for caring for his motherless children.
Taking Nazi supporters to war tribunals is also just to score cheap political points.
This is cyber monday. Let’s get our loved ones lots of Wonkette hats & tee shirts for xmas. I think that’s where the staff must be. hurriedly fixing up the online store.
I’m going to hold my breath until they give in and write a post!
Wha?! Monday morning and no new thread?
You get what you deserve.
This gives an entirely new meaning to post-Thanksgiving cold turkey.
Oh no! Unless we mount a rescue party to the North Pole, there just may not BE a WONXMAS this year!!
[re=187918]p-Sludge ofTheElves[/re]: So…instead of posting, everyone at Wonkette is cybering?
[re=187918]p-Sludge ofTheElves[/re]: I would TOTALLY buy a Wonkette shirt. That would fulfill both my needs for strangers to be aware of what political blogs I read, and my need to clothe my upper body with something when in public.
[re=187916]WadISay[/re]: Well, that seals Bush’s fate- just as Fred Phelps and his clan-o-haters protested Reagan’s funeral because of *his* work on AIDS, so shall they protest W’s funeral… Cuz, you know, nothing says you care more than ignoring a problem for decades…
Ok, now I’m concerned. Gawker and Jezebel aren’t refreshing nearly enough to fill that Wonkette-sized hole in my daily blog reading. Are you kids taking a (much deserved) break? Or are you guys participating in this “Cyber Monday” I have been hearing so much about?
Don’t make me go visit The Daily Beast!
[re=187916]WadISay[/re]: If this is the case may I just say Ken, Jim, Sara….come back!!! Please! We’ll be good. I promise!
I think our editors are in heady negotiations for a Wonkette movie. It will star John Biner in drag. Negotiations are stalling on gross back-end participation.
[re=187908]WIDTAP[/re]: It won’t be Nappy Janet. She’s Lebanese.
Auburn and Mississippi State lost.
Sylvester Croom gave up.
I had to watch Saxby Chamliss repeatedly molest a small child on teh television.
I had to hunker low because of the gun sales in SC.
My bother-in-law called a family meeting to denounce his siblings.
New Yorkers showed their assertiveness at Wal-Mart.
Muslins showed their assertiveness in Mumbai.
And now, no new threads.
Mo peas. Mo justice.
[re=187928]nurple[/re]: hehe, “back-end participation.”
Where’s my wonkette?
I’m having serious withdrawals.
There are three perfectly good explanations for the lack of posts:
1) Sara was trampled to death while fighting for bargains in Wal-Mart.
2) Ken went to meet the ‘PR man’ from AIG in a remote location and hasn’t been heard from since.
3) Jim has been drinking since Wednesday night and is lying in a gutter somewhere.
is it considered a crime if you stomp a Walmart employee to death
Yes. But if the guy is just a temp assigned to Wal-Mart, it’s a mercy killing.
everyone at Wonkette is cybering?
Maybe the editors are having a three-way in Second Life.
[re=187928]nurple[/re]: ugh! too easy >>“back-end participation.”
Where were you when Wonkette stopped refreshing?
so is there a default comment limit in wordpress? i say we test it, i figure this one is around 169-175.
I’ve been pondering the non-posting too.
Could it be that December 1, 2008, will go down as the “day that no random conservative asshole banged out an asinine statement on his blog that was pathetically easy to make fun of”?
Nope. Just checked the NRO Corner, which is as bat-shit stupid today as its ever been. The Wonkette staff has therefore been abducted or is drunk.
Hey somebody read this and tell us what it says, ok? kthxbai.
slate: Everything You Need To Know About Hitler’s “Missing” Testicle
http://www.slate.com/id/2205359/
[re=187939]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: they’re trying out this buttsecks business. it takes a while to get up to speed. someone told me.
[re=187929]azw88[/re]: I say Clinton. Remember, there was not assumption that the resignee would be a bottom.
[re=187899]CivicHoliday[/re]: I think you are right – after all she went to Oxford and if my uncle is any indication they breed Commie terrorists there.
I am dying here where are our Wonkette editors? I was so desperate I went to Daily Kos and made a snarky comment about Hillary – needless to say I was attacked by some humorless fuckwit.
Is it just me, or does that picture make Bill look sorta… knocked up?
And people always say that Billy Crystal’s jokes aren’t that funny…
What? This is Bill Kristol writing, and he’s serious?! Well then…
THEY HAVE RETURNED. Praise Allah.
[re=187908]WIDTAP[/re]: my money is on the two white dudes.
12/1 NEVER FORGET!!!!11!!!!!!1!!!
Bill Kristol called demanding paternity payments. Someone fucked him without protection.
[re=187808]JDHART[/re]:
“In Washington, they first pardoned the War Profiters, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a War Profiter;
And then they pardoned the war criminals, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a war criminal;
And then they pardoned the torturers, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a torturer;
And then . . . they pardoned Bill Kristol . . . Even though the only one that spoke up for Bill Kristol was Bill Kristol.”
Well pardon me!
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