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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Laura Bush Will Save The Publishing Industry Forever

  • America has the most guns per capita of anywhere, ever, including Yemen! Yemen. A full 89 out of 100 people own firearms. [Andrew Sullivan]
  • Obama is going to revamp FEMA by hiring some Clinton staffer who already fixed the thing eight years ago and left just before Michael Brown destroyed both FEMA and New Orleans out of boredom. [Kevin Drum]
  • If you haven’t seen this Sarah Palin comedy video already, it is funnier than the past three months of her idiocy because the garbled Alaskan catchphrases are the same, but there are no stakes whatsoever. So, sigh of relief, etc. [Crooks and Liars]
  • California-based Internet start-up Google (Yahoo search it) is having layoffs too. [AMERICAblog]
  • Laura Bush is working on a memoir! The sheer pornographic detail in this thing will be leagues ahead of those of Curtis Sittenfeld and probably on par with Meghan McCain’s Vietnamese bildungsroman. [HuffPost]


3:40 PM on Tue November 25 2008
By Juli Weiner
1162 Views

  1. Serolf Divad says at 3:49 pm, November 25th, 2008

    “She can have a dozen babies… she can lay 1000 eggs!!!!!”

    Best line ever!

  2. They need a lot of guns to shoot everything they don’t understand.

  3. magic titty says at 3:50 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Well, it’s not really 89 out of 100, but I like the cut of your jib, Juli, so I’ll allow it.
    I guess wingnuts like to have at least 3 guns a piece, cuz it’s a bitch to reload when shooting at the coloreds.

  4. Mr Blifil says at 3:51 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Who wants to bet Laura’s “penis shaped vibrator” that she uses when she’s in the Lincoln Bedroom will turn out to be the same one O’Reilly prefers? Oh the irony…

  5. The Pumpernickel says at 3:55 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Holy crap! Do people really believe protecting us from the terrorists by sitting on their front porches with their shot gun?

    Keep buying guns, people. Because we all know it worked for the Middle East. Wait a second…

    http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com

  6. Theodorick Of York says at 3:56 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Mr Blifil:
    Not likely. Probably not as long. Or girthsome. And doen’t have that 24 hp Briggs & Stratton engine. Or the stirrups. Or the ann Coulter logo.

  7. BarthexDeRosa says at 3:56 pm, November 25th, 2008

    “Destroyed Out Of Boredom” would be a great title for a book about the post-Katrina shitstorm.

  8. SayItWithWookies says at 4:00 pm, November 25th, 2008

    President Bush said recently that he, too, wants to write a book…
    But that was before he found out that books are composed of thousands of actual sentences.

  9. Cape Clod says at 4:02 pm, November 25th, 2008

    We may have more guns than Yemen, but they definitely have more pirates.

  10. iwillsavethispatient says at 4:02 pm, November 25th, 2008

    I refuse to Yahoo Search anything. I much prefer Alta Vista.

  11. bitchincamaro says at 4:04 pm, November 25th, 2008

    …and New Orleans has more guns than everybody. Win!

  12. You know there’s one guy in Texas who has enough guns to arm all Delaware, or at least 89% of it

  13. Yes, well, the problem is the guns aren’t uniformly distributed amongst the capita, but are concentrated in the hands of that part of the capita that would de-capita the other part. Capish?

    Otherwise, yumpin’ yemenies!

  14. Neon Trotsky says at 4:07 pm, November 25th, 2008

    It’s also worth pointing out that the governments of Switzerland, Serbia (back in the Yugoslav days) and (maybe) Finland essentially hand out guns to every adult male as part of their national defense strategies, and yet we still have double the guns per capita than them!!!

    AMERICA = #1

  15. The FEMA scheme sounds like another reasonable plan from Barry to reverse eight years of unreason.

  16. finallyhappy says at 4:10 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Who has my gun?

  17. finallyhappy: Sorry, somebody is using it as a hold-out piece.

  18. I thought the Swiss are the nationality who are the most gay for guns. How wrong I was. Take a bow, USA.

  19. p-Sludge ofTheElves says at 4:24 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Roughly 100 breasts for every 100 Americans, so …

  20. qwerty42 says at 4:32 pm, November 25th, 2008

    TGY: yet another example of dangerous competence rearing its head. more socialist terrorist nazi marxist tyranny. muslin. did i mention muslin? that too. also probably atheist.

  21. Sussemilch says at 4:32 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Who gives a crap what Laura has to say? 99% chance she talks about “gee, ain’t it stressful being married to the busiest man in the world,” and 1% chance she says “there was a bunch of stuff that happened that I didn’t talk about before because I have no spine.” Don’t care.

  22. coolcatdaddy says at 4:41 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Ah, yes - guns, lesbian soft-core porn novels from Laura Bush, and an economy that really sucks.

    Just a typical dayz in your Americaeeee….

  23. Lascauxcaveman says at 4:42 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Juli sez: A full 89 out of 100 people own firearms. Andrew sez: 89 small arms per 100 people in the US. Well, doing the maths, I can conclude that my gun-nut friend Dave, with his extensive gun collection, is about 35-40 people. He’ll be happy to know.

    I sez: You can take away my gun if you pry it from my cold… no, wait: you can take my gun if you can find in the permanent disaster-area mess that is my shop. Seriously, I know I own a gun. I just have no idea where I put it.

  24. All this talk about so many guns makes me very, very bitter.

  25. hedgehog says at 4:51 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Page 408: “…and when Condi walked out wearing that leather corset and stilettos, I knew that this little Texas gal was about to eat brown Rice!”

  26. problemwithcaring says at 5:02 pm, November 25th, 2008

    “Laura Bush Will Save The Publishing Industry Forever”

    So, her memoir will be all about the historic rise of America’s first Black President, Barack Obama?

  27. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 5:21 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Does this include the killer robots?

  28. Rush: Switzerland has many mountains, guns, bibles and bitter, bitter chocolate. I suggest you check it out.

  29. DangerousLiberal says at 6:43 pm, November 25th, 2008

    iwillsavethispatient: Pussy. Real men (and women) use Lycos, or they code search engines with their bare hands, like we used to have to do in the 1990s.

  30. Only 89 out of 100 American citizens have guns?

    Gesh.

    I personally have enough to equip the 11 unfortunates in “my” century.

    Vale et atque!

  31. PineyWoodster says at 11:48 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Between the wife and myself, we’ve got three pistols, three rifles, and four shotguns - but we live in Texas, so that isn’t all that much for around these here parts.

  32. I’ve long thought the best way to make trouble in the USA would be to flood the black market with Kalashnikovs, etc. We’d terrorize each other!

    Zhu Bajie

  33. SayItWithWookies: Definitely an as-told-to book! But will he tell the truth about his erotic encounters with Condie, Gannon, Rumsfeld, etc.? The triple headers with Laura, Condie and Ms. Zhao from Labor?

    Zhu Bajie

  34. Neon Trotsky: They have to do military training. Shooting beer bottles withyour militia buddies doesn’t count!

    Zhu Bajie

  35. Chapter One — Growin’ up in Texas and killin’ that guy.
    Chapter Two — Gettin’ married to George during the booze and cocaine years.
    Chapter Three — WAntin’ to rub James Carville’s snakeskull all over my body.
    Chapter Four — Gettin re-elected to four more years of this shit.
    Chapter Five — Doin’ drugs with the girls.
    Chapter Six — Different kinds of drugs.
    Chapter Seven — Finding out the Secret Service guys have to do what I tell them.
    Chapter Eight — Finding Ann Coulter humping Poppy in the Lincoln Bedroom.
    Chapter Nine — That black dude gets elected. I kick Dick Cheney’s fat butt.
    The End

  36. glamourdammerung says at 6:06 am, November 26th, 2008

    I would hate to see how many cars we have after you average in all the folks that own multiples.

    I really do not think the guns are nearly as much of an issue as the way our society instructs people how to deal with each other.

  37. Godless Liberal says at 7:46 am, November 26th, 2008

    If 89 out of 100 Americans own guns, that means 11% of America is comprised of homo-sexuals.

  38. It’s 89 guns per 100 people, right? So not 89 people, but rather all those folks in Idaho with 65 guns each running up the numbers.

  39. It’s high time the New World Order confiscated all those guns!

  40. TeddyS:
    Chapter Nine — That black dude gets elected. I kick Dick Cheney’s fat butt.

    I’d read the damn thing just to see Laura open a can of whoop-ass on the Dark Lord.

  41. rocktonsammy says at 7:45 pm, November 26th, 2008

    Can she start with Joe the Dummer’s book.

    Its one more than he has ever read.

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