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Joint Chiefs Chairman Cancels His Sexy Naked XXXmas Party

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Adm. Mike Mullen, and his lovely wife, “Mrs. Mike,” are canceling their annual Christmas soiree for various local warlords and celebrities such as Kid Rock — Because Of The Recession. Curses! We had just purchased our Barry Goldwater costumes, too. Instead, “the Mullens will host a small gathering for wounded service members, their families, and the families of the fallen.” Oh that is so Washington of them, hiding behind the pwecious SOLDIERS. Will Kid Rock be there, though? [Washington Whispers]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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38 comments

  1. jagorev

    Well, obviously, now that Nobama Hussein Jr. is in power, all of Washington will have to start celebrating Ramadan instead.

  2. AngryBlakGuy

    …those are some of the most unattractive pair of women underwear I have seen in a very longtime.

  3. Lorax

    Nothing says Christmas like wounded soldiers and bereaved family members. Sheesh.

    Can I just go ahead and kill myself now?

  4. freakishlystrong

    [re=185620]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Unattractive pair of underwear? Or unattractive pair of women? Both?

  5. johnbpt

    Woo-hoo! You’re a real rebel, Kid Rock, hanging with the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. You one of da PEOPLE!

    Christ, to think that my ex considered that dick some kind of musical genius.

  6. TeddyS

    Howzabout a quiet Christmas with your own family, Chief, instead of dragging in these bereaved relatives from across the country for a way saaaad party. And the joyeaux noel photo op will be paid for by the taxpayers.

  7. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=185626]freakishlystrong[/re]: …ehhhhh. They are totally “Last call for alcohol” material.

    Translation: Its the end of the night and you are the only one in your group that hasn’t found someone to hook-up with.

  8. problemwithcaring

    So the Pentagon soiree has went on every year over the past 5 years during two wars, without a hitch in the giddy up, but now because of the recession, it’s canceled? C’mon America! We can do better. Let’s take up a collection – the terrorist can’t win.

    I mean, the Pentagon could only afford to install 6 new “comfort capsules” with measly amount of the counter-terrorism money they got from Congress. OUR TROOPS’ BETTERS DESERVE BETTER!!!!

  9. SayItWithWookies

    [re=185637]TeddyS[/re]: They’re not all sad. Some of them are pissed because the military classified their wounds as non-combat related (i.e. you broke your pelvis diving into a ditch during a mortar attack? Not combat). And others got sent back into combat while still recovering from things like traumatic brain injury. So there’ll be a diversity of wounded military folks there.
    http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-combat25-2008nov25,0,3682816.story

  10. Mustang

    That’s the nicest “You are so not invited, loser” invitation I’ve ever seen. Doesn’t it beg an “I didn’t want to come to your stupid party anyway” response?

  11. WadISay

    So do I have to invite him to my vicars and sluts party or not?

    [re=185626]freakishlystrong[/re]: Party like it’s 1999…B.C.

  12. Gorillionaire

    I used to feel kind of out of it that I did’nt “get” Kid Rock, but then my 16 year old guitar genius Beatles/Hendrix worshipping nephew explained to me that it was ok because Kid Rock “fucking sucks”.

  13. loganmo

    Is that video from one of those creep ads about “Fed Lowers Interest Rates-Mortgages for only $800/month” with bizarre jiggling quasi-animated ladies?

  14. sati demise

    [re=185716]Gorillionaire[/re]: Your nephew is a genius! Rock does suck in every way except tattoo coverage. And that is gross.

  15. RabidHamster

    [re=185620]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: It’s what’s on the inside that counts. Didn’t your mother teach you anything?

  16. hobospacejungle

    [re=185626]freakishlystrong[/re]: I object. Those women look nice & sexy. They ain’t skinny little eat-nothin’s nor are they obese cows like most of today’s Americans. If most American women looked like these two fine young ladies our country would be in much better shape, and in a better mood, too.

  17. hansdog

    Something mesmerizing about that photo-loop, like watching a crackling fire and getting lost in your thoughts.
    Do it again.
    Ok, now do it again.
    Now again.

Comments are closed.