WASHINGTON, DC, 04:42 AM, SUN NOVEMBER 8 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
COAL FOR EVERYONE

Joint Chiefs Chairman Cancels His Sexy Naked XXXmas Party

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Adm. Mike Mullen, and his lovely wife, “Mrs. Mike,” are canceling their annual Christmas soiree for various local warlords and celebrities such as Kid Rock — Because Of The Recession. Curses! We had just purchased our Barry Goldwater costumes, too. Instead, “the Mullens will host a small gathering for wounded service members, their families, and the families of the fallen.” Oh that is so Washington of them, hiding behind the pwecious SOLDIERS. Will Kid Rock be there, though? [Washington Whispers]


1:02 PM on Tue November 25 2008
By Jim Newell
2288 Views

  1. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:09 pm, November 25th, 2008

    We should all just show up anyway.

  2. Well, obviously, now that Nobama Hussein Jr. is in power, all of Washington will have to start celebrating Ramadan instead.

  3. AngryBlakGuy says at 1:12 pm, November 25th, 2008

    …those are some of the most unattractive pair of women underwear I have seen in a very longtime.

  4. AngryBlakGuy says at 1:13 pm, November 25th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: …if you bring the weed, I’ll bring the booze!

  5. Nothing says Christmas like wounded soldiers and bereaved family members. Sheesh.

    Can I just go ahead and kill myself now?

  6. mattbolt says at 1:14 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Oh Jim, anything to post that picture again

  7. freakishlystrong says at 1:15 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Lorax: Sure, go ahead, you’re not invited. Oh, and Kd Rock is a dick.

  8. mattbolt: Yeah, Juli in a bikini never grows old.

  9. freakishlystrong says at 1:17 pm, November 25th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Unattractive pair of underwear? Or unattractive pair of women? Both?

  10. Woo-hoo! You’re a real rebel, Kid Rock, hanging with the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. You one of da PEOPLE!

    Christ, to think that my ex considered that dick some kind of musical genius.

  11. Best. Gif. Ever.

  12. Howzabout a quiet Christmas with your own family, Chief, instead of dragging in these bereaved relatives from across the country for a way saaaad party. And the joyeaux noel photo op will be paid for by the taxpayers.

  13. trophy(forparticipation)wife says at 1:26 pm, November 25th, 2008

    When are they going to rub their pre-gunts together and make out?

  14. AngryBlakGuy says at 1:28 pm, November 25th, 2008

    freakishlystrong: …ehhhhh. They are totally “Last call for alcohol” material.

    Translation: Its the end of the night and you are the only one in your group that hasn’t found someone to hook-up with.

  15. Why is this news?

  16. p-Sludge ofTheElves says at 1:33 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Ahh bored bikini women dancing.
    Such a classic scene.
    Right before “Ben” shows up and sings.
    http://www.armchairdirector.org/features/archive/bluevelvet/still01.jp

  17. Larry McAwful says at 1:33 pm, November 25th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Speak for yourself. That’s my new PC wallpaper.

  18. p-Sludge ofTheElves says at 1:37 pm, November 25th, 2008
  19. problemwithcaring says at 1:38 pm, November 25th, 2008

    So the Pentagon soiree has went on every year over the past 5 years during two wars, without a hitch in the giddy up, but now because of the recession, it’s canceled? C’mon America! We can do better. Let’s take up a collection - the terrorist can’t win.

    I mean, the Pentagon could only afford to install 6 new “comfort capsules” with measly amount of the counter-terrorism money they got from Congress. OUR TROOPS’ BETTERS DESERVE BETTER!!!!

  20. Larry McAwful says at 1:38 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Monkey: What other occasion would he have to post that picture?

  21. SayItWithWookies says at 1:42 pm, November 25th, 2008

    TeddyS: They’re not all sad. Some of them are pissed because the military classified their wounds as non-combat related (i.e. you broke your pelvis diving into a ditch during a mortar attack? Not combat). And others got sent back into combat while still recovering from things like traumatic brain injury. So there’ll be a diversity of wounded military folks there.
    http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-combat25-2008nov25,0,3682816.story

  22. That’s the nicest “You are so not invited, loser” invitation I’ve ever seen. Doesn’t it beg an “I didn’t want to come to your stupid party anyway” response?

  23. finallyhappy says at 1:57 pm, November 25th, 2008

    What, they never heard of Costco and Total Beverages?

  24. So do I have to invite him to my vicars and sluts party or not?

    freakishlystrong: Party like it’s 1999…B.C.

  25. Gorillionaire says at 2:08 pm, November 25th, 2008

    I used to feel kind of out of it that I did’nt “get” Kid Rock, but then my 16 year old guitar genius Beatles/Hendrix worshipping nephew explained to me that it was ok because Kid Rock “fucking sucks”.

  26. gurukalehuru says at 2:16 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Nice work on the illustration. Very nice work.

  27. Is that video from one of those creep ads about “Fed Lowers Interest Rates-Mortgages for only $800/month” with bizarre jiggling quasi-animated ladies?

  28. sati demise says at 2:21 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Gorillionaire: Your nephew is a genius! Rock does suck in every way except tattoo coverage. And that is gross.

  29. bitchincamaro says at 2:34 pm, November 25th, 2008

    I’m guessing Anne Coulter won’t be there, too.

  30. RabidHamster says at 2:53 pm, November 25th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: It’s what’s on the inside that counts. Didn’t your mother teach you anything?

  31. hobospacejungle says at 3:13 pm, November 25th, 2008

    freakishlystrong: I object. Those women look nice & sexy. They ain’t skinny little eat-nothin’s nor are they obese cows like most of today’s Americans. If most American women looked like these two fine young ladies our country would be in much better shape, and in a better mood, too.

  32. bitchincamaro says at 3:25 pm, November 25th, 2008

    Are they doing the Bristol Stomp?

  33. Does Ann Coulter dances like that when she’s alone? Ken, please tell us you know this too be true.

  34. Something mesmerizing about that photo-loop, like watching a crackling fire and getting lost in your thoughts.
    Do it again.
    Ok, now do it again.
    Now again.

  35. At least one of these girls has no rhythm.

  36. I’d do the one to the right.

  37. Something Sensual says at 6:09 pm, January 23rd, 2009

    Forget whats on the inside, go for looks and a great body :)

    http://www.somethingsensual.co.uk

  38. Something Sensual says at 6:10 pm, January 23rd, 2009

Leave a Reply